• Published 8th Feb 2015
  • 5,737 Views, 202 Comments

Princess Rainbow Dash, or An Alternate Ending to How Rainbow Dash Got Her Cutie Mark - LuluCalliope



Cadance became an Alicorn after defeating a mighty foe with Love. Twilight became an Alicorn after completing a spell with Friendship. Rainbow Dash is the first pony to create a Rainboom.

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Rainbow's First Stalker

Princess Rainbow Dash

"...well, it was very nice to meet you, Zecora! Feel free to visit Ponyville anytime!" The cyan mare waved at the retreating zebra. Apparently the ponies in Ponyville were racist...or xenophobic...because they hid from Zecora the zebra whenever she came to Ponyville to do her shopping. Sure, it was a LITTLE weird that she lived in the Everfree Forest, but Rainbow Dash thought that made her cooler! Zebras can travel and do whatever they want...I'm not even supposed to go in the Everfree Forest! "Hey, everypony, come out now!" She shouted, cupping her hooves to her mouth. Ponies began to emerge from their houses and stores, cautious looks on their faces and in their eyes. Twilight was the only other one who didn't appear to be bothered by the mystery visitor. In fact, their day had started with her walking with Twilight and Spike to Ponyville's shopping district.

"Nice job on the weather today, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight had complimented.

"Oh, thanks, Twilight!" Rainbow had smiled. "It's nice to know somepony appreciates the work...seriously, though, where is everyone? I haven't seen anyone today except for you and Spike!"

"It's not a holiday, is it?" Twilight had asked.

"Not that I know of..." If it were up to me, every day would be Relax Day! Or Wonderbolt Appreciation Day...or Make Rainbow Dash a Wonderbolt Day...

Her thoughts had been interrupted when Pinkie Pie beckoned to them from the door to Sugarcube Corner. The princess, the bookworm, and her dragon were practically pulled inside by the pink party planner. Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy were also inside. They proceeded to explain to the Ponyville newcomers that they were hiding from the mysterious zebra Zecora, who would venture into Ponyville every so often and "frighten" the townsponies. Rainbow Dash had rolled her eyes after Pinkie Pie sang a song about her being an "evil enchantress", then trotted outside and up to the zebra. They talked for fifteen minutes or so, and the only thing that Rainbow Dash really found unnerving about her was the fact that she talked in rhyme. Does she plan this out in advance? Or is she a mind reader, so when a pony is talking, she's already planning out her well-versed response?

Now the ponies were back and doing their normal routines. Rainbow Dash had reunited with the other Elements. "I can't believe you didn't know that zebras came from Equidia, Twilight!" The princess said. "I thought you read books about this sort of thing!"

"And how did YOU know where zebras come from?" The lavender mare's eyes narrowed.

"...when I was in Canterlot Academy, I knew the daughter of the ambassador to the zebras," Rainbow sighed.

"Oooh, that must have been exciting!"

"...that's one way of looking at it..." She bit her lip and closed her eyes as a stream of painful memories came flooding back into her mind...


Many years ago...

Rainbow Dash yawned as she opened her locker door. The halls of Canterlot Academy were bustling with chattering students. How can anyone talk this much so early in the morning? She leaned her head against the cold metal of the locker door and gazed at her friend, Cream Draft. Cream was (of course) a cream-colored Earth pony with inky black hair. Her cutie mark was a piece of parchment being placed inside of an envelope. She was a little dorky compared to the princess, especially with her frizzy mane, glasses, and braces, but Rainbow hung out with her because she wasn't stuck-up and snooty, like so many of their classmates. "Check out the new girl," Cream whispered, her eyes flicking over to the lockers opposite theirs. "Her father is THE ambassador to the Changeling Hive and Equidia!"

"Oh, I can see the resemblance!" The filly, like her father, had a light pink coat and deep purple eyes. Rainbow Dash and Cadance had been forced to sit in on boring diplomatic meetings with Celestia and the leaders of neighboring nations. Rainbow Dash had seen this ambassador many times. His name was Lucky Jinx and he seemed eloquent and intelligent. As Rainbow stared at the new filly, she remembered that Lucky had talked about his family once or twice...yes, he did have a daughter! What was her name again? Milly? Marie? No, Mimi! Mimi Jinx!

"Oooh, did someone say 'new filly'?" Trixie Lulamoon had joined Rainbow and Cream. Her locker was further down the hall (the lockers were assigned alphabetically by the students' last names), but she always made time for her two friends before class started. "Let's see if she can pass my little test!" With that, she strutted over to Mimi and said:

"Hey, fresh meat! Trixie wants your lunch money!"

"Well, tell Trixie, whoever she is, that she will NOT have mine," the new filly snapped.

"....I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!!" The blue mare boomed in her "stage" voice. Several students stopped what they were doing and looked in her direction, giggling.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to find my class in this filthy labyrinth of a school!" Mimi said in her lofty voice. Great, another snob, Rainbow observed from across the hall. Her dad is so much nicer.

"Whatever," Trixie huffed. "When you decide you want to survive this school, let Trixie know." She stormed over to the lockers across the hall. Mimi's eyes followed her. Her gaze lingered on Cream for a few minutes before focusing on Rainbow Dash. It only took a second, but then the new girl crossed the hallway, just giving off an air of confidence. Then she stood before the cyan filly and said:

"You're Princess Rainbow Dash..."

"Oh, please, call me Rainbow Dash!" The Alicorn smiled. Mimi also grinned.

"Hello...Rainbow Dash...I wasn't aware that you were enrolled in this school! This changes everything so much! Tell me, are you the elected class president?"

"Um, no, Cream Draft is really more of a LEADER leader than I am," Rainbow laughed, pointing to her friend. Mimi glanced at the Earth pony, offered a lukewarm smile, then turned back to Rainbow Dash.

"Whatever. Do you think you can show me around the school today? Give me the ROYAL tour, so to speak?"

"Uh, sure, I guess!" Rainbow shrugged. "Can I see your schedule?"

"Mm-hmm!" The filly handed the list of her classes over to Rainbow Dash. As the princess skimmed it, Cream and Trixie read the list over her shoulders. It turns out that the four of them only had one class together: fourth period Equestrian Law.

"Oh, that class is an easy A," Trixie informed her. "The teacher literally doesn't do anything. All he does is sit and talk about how Princess Celestia defeated her foes...literally. None of them were on trial! I think that our legal system is bucked!" She raised an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash, who offered a playful punch in her shoulder. The bell rang, signaling the start of the first period was upon them.

"We better go," Rainbow said to Mimi. "It was nice to see you, though. See you in class!"


In class...

"You know what the great thing about having a substitute in this class is?" Trixie whispered to Rainbow. She sat next to the Alicorn and Cream sat in front of her. Mimi was on the other side of the room. All of the students were putting effort in listening, but only a few of them managed to understand the teacher's lesson. Other students weren't bothering to hide that they weren't studying. They were busy chatting, preparing spitballs, or napping. And now one student stood up and crossed to Rainbow's desk. Oh...it was Mimi...

"Hello, Princess Rainbow Dash, I was wondering if you read any of the new books out?" She asked with a toothy grin.

"No, I'm not a big reading pony..."

"Oh, that's too bad, I think you'd like it. Hey, what are you working on?" Rainbow Dash, in an attempt to busy herself with something, had grabbed a Sudoku book off of Cream's desk and was staring at a random page with fascination.

"I'm just working on some Sue-doe-cue..."

"Huh, let me help!" Oh, no, just go away! Please! GO AWAY!

"Mimi, please sit down," the substitute teacher called. Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief and mouthed Thank you to the teacher when she was sure Mimi was back on her side of the room. Once the bell rang at the end of the class, she gathered her belongings and made a mad dash for the door.

"I want my Sudoku book back, Rainbow Dash!" Cream called after her.


Good Goddess, what a day! Rainbow mentally sighed as she climbed into her enormous fluffy bed. Mimi had followed her around the whole day and had talked about getting her schedule changed to have more classes with the princess. I hope that doesn't happen...there's only so much fan-filly-ness that I can take! The cyan princess turned off the lights and shut her eyes...only to snap them back open. There was someone else standing in her room... "Oh, no...Mimi, is that you...?"

"Hey, Princess Rainbow Dash, I was wondering if I could borrow your text book? Also, how did you know it was me?" The psycho filly grinned, stepping out of the shadows. A window was open, and the moonlight served as the only light needed to reveal the stalker. "I mean, duh, we have our classes together, but we've only known each other for less than a week!"

"...HOW THE BUCK DID YOU GET HERE?"

"Canterlot Castle is open to the public at all hours. And it wasn't easy to find out where your room was, but I did it! So, can I borrow your book?"

"GET THE BUCK OUT! GUARDS! GUARDS!"

"Wait, before I go, I needed your opinion on this dress! What colors do you think it is: blue and black, or white and gold? I think that it's white and gold."

"GUARDS!!!"

"You're right; it's probably blue and black," Mimi replied as two Pegasus guards charged into Rainbow's room and seized the intruder.

This was THE ONLY time Rainbow used her authority as a princess to throw someone out of the castle. And Mimi did NOT take the hint. She continued to follow Rainbow Dash around the school.

"Hey, Princess Rainbow Dash!" She called one day as she followed her to their fourth period classroom.

"H-hey," she replied, burying her face in her textbook.

"Are you alright? You seem tense."

"Yeah, I'm totally fine..." Go away go away go away go away...

"I get the idea that you don't want me around."

"Heh-heh, how'd you get that idea...?"

"I mean, ever since I went into your room, you've been running away from me..."

Oh my Celestia kill me kill me kill me kill me...please kill me...bake me into a cupcake just kill me...

This was the last day that Rainbow Dash ever spoke to Mimi. That day in Law class, the teacher mentioned something that solved her problem. "...in the modern Equestrian era, following the coronation of Princess Amore, the first recorded political assassination attempt was recorded. Princess Platinum intended to seize the throne of the Crystal Empire by murdering Amore. After many failed attempts to get an audience with Amore by herself, the first restraining order was applied. Platinum was forbidden to be within a fifty mile radius of Amore, which made political gatherings and princess summits extremely awkward."

That's it! A restraining order!

As soon as school ended, Rainbow Dash headed for Canterlot Castle and walked into the throne room. Celestia was sitting on her throne, sipping a cup of tea. "What can I help you with, Rainbow Dash?"

"I need your help writing a restraining order!"

"Against who?" The Sun Goddess frowned.

"...Mimi Jinx..."

"...you mean Lucky's daughter?"

"...yeah..."

Celestia sighed. "You do know that there are serious consequences to this decision. Political consequences." She stepped off of the throne and trotted towards the younger Alicorn. "Lucky Jinx is an important diplomat, one of the most skilled in his field. He has kept the Changeling Hive at peace with Equestria for many years and has brought us one step closer to understanding the traditions and customs of the zebra culture."

"I thought you might say that..." Rainbow smirked. She didn't like playing dirty...but she had to play her trump card now...


Half an hour later...

"And so, it is with a heavy heart that I relieve Lucky Jinx of his duties as a diplomat and sentence him to early retirement in Manehatten," Celestia said, concluding her council meeting. "His daughter, Mimi Jinx, shall continue her studies in the Manehatten Institute for Ponies Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn How to Do Other Things Good." Lucky Jinx was speechless, and his daughter was livid.

"How could you do this to him? We've done EVERYTHING you asked for! And now you're going to send me to that yucky school!?!" The members of Celestia's council muttered in agreement, shooting each other confused glances. Celestia raised her hoof, silencing everyone present.

"Please, my subjects. My reasons for this are logical and just. Would I fire him for a million bits? No! A billion bits? That's absurd! A room full of banana cream pie? Yes, you've got yourself a deal!" With that, the guards dragged Lucky and Mimi from Canterlot.


"...and that's why we don't know as much about zebras as we like to think we do," Rainbow Dash finished. Her friends stared at her, their mouths open with horror. "What? We don't know a lot about Equidia! No big deal. And the Changelings haven't been bothering us at all! It's not like they're planning a major invasion or anything!"

"Or ARE THEY?" Pinkie Pie asked with a dramatic face.

"Look, if there IS an invasion, Princess Celestia will be on top of it! Nothing will happen!"


Back in the Banana Cream Pie Room of Canterlot Castle...

"...and I want guards positioned in here to protect the pies," Celestia ordered. "Mice have been infiltrating every corner of this room, and they must be terminated!"

"...are you sure that's necessary, Princess?"

"You DARE question my wisdom?!"

"No, no, no, we'll get right on that!"

"That's right, you will...no one is going to come between Mommy and her banana babies..."

Author's Note:

So, I went back and watched Bridle Gossip...yeah, it's still not one of my favorite episodes...also, Rainbow Dash didn't have a lot to say. So I played around with how a princess would know diplomats to "faraway lands" and their relatives, and this chapter got started.

The diplomat, Lucky Jinx, and his daughter, Mimi Jinx, are my OC's...but some of the experiences with the stalker are based off my own experiences with a stalker...yeah, I don't really want to go into much detail about him...

Anyway, thank you guys so much for the positive feedback! You all rock!

Pinkie Pie: ...you know that they're all going to get that Zoolander reference, right?

Me: ...yeah...