Little Jackie

by Zubric

Talking Just Isn't Enough

The rays of the sun danced off the orchards across Sweet Apple Acres as the day began. The morning started out like most days did for Applejack. She stared at her reflection and let out a small yawn as she brushed away at her bedhead. Despite sleeping through the rest of the night without issue, she still felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally. She gave herself a quick smile at her reflection, focusing her thoughts on the task at hoof.

“Apple Bloom, ya up yet?” she called out down the hall as she continued to brush her mane, keeping an ear open for any form of response. After a minute or so of silence, Applejack set down her brush and headed out towards her sister's room.

The past week had been hard for Apple Bloom. She had woken from a few bad dreams shaking, and on one occasion even asked to sleep with her big sister. As much as she wanted to know what was bothering her, Apple Bloom always responded with denial automatically responding with, “it’s nothing.” There clearly was something bothering her, but Applejack feared that pushing the issue might make things worse. She’d let Apple Bloom approach her if she needed to.

Last night’s emotional episode had proven to Applejack that trying to deny help would just make things worse, Applebuck season had shown her that. Apple Bloom clearly needed to be talked to, and that was just what Applejack intended to do.

With a soft tap of her hoof, she knocked on Apple Bloom’s door. “Apple Bloom, rise and shine. It’s already half passed,” she said. The response Apple Bloom gave in return was unexpected.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll be down in a bit,” Apple Bloom said, her voice sounding distressed.

Without hesitation, Applejack opened the door. Apple Bloom was still firmly in bed snuggling a plush bear close to her chest. She recognized the expression frozen on Apple Bloom’s face, it was the very same one she would see in the mirror after having a nightmare. Quickly approaching the bed she sat down next to her sister giving Apple Bloom’s mane a gentle pet “Apple Bloom, what’s wrong?”

Apple Bloom blinked. “I-I had another bad dream,” she hugged her bear tighter. Judging by the way she was shaking, whatever she had dreamt was really taking its toll.

Applejack continued the soothing stroking motion keeping quiet as she thought of her next words. After a moment of silence, she spoke. “Would talking about it help? I”m always here for you.” She said echoing the words Big Mac had told her just hours prior.

Apple Bloom leaped forward into a hug pushing her face into her sister's warm fur. “I was so scared,” she whimpered. “Nopony was around, I was all alone and this voice telling me to run.”

Applejack pulled her sister close resting her head on her shoulder. “Shhh it’s okay, it was just a dream. That would never happen.” She rubbed her hoof along Apple Bloom's back as a similar memory flashed before her eyes.

---

The farmhouse was quiet this late night. The low chime from a bell rang out from an oak clock as midnight neared. The house was usually so quiet this time of night except for a low rattling noise as the wind shook the windows.

Applejack knew she should have been in bed but due to a very unnerving nightmare, she needed some comfort. The way to her parent's room felt uneasy. The floor creaked with each hoof step feeling as cold as ice. At the same time, each step forward felt like a weight off her shoulder. The anticipated hug of protection and warm blankets pushed her onwards.

Her parents always left the door ajar to keep an eye on things thus Applejack had no trouble pushing the door open. She stood in the doorway for a time, her eyes glancing at the crib against the far wall. The newest addition to their family was only a mere one-year-old. She felt a bit jealous of Apple Bloom at the moment. No worries, no fears, just some new discoveries and joy as she laid there sleeping away.

Applejack hesitated afraid that calling out for her mother would disturb her younger sister’s slumber. Her knees shake a bit, the feeling of wanting to turn and head back to her room floating in her mind. She stopped herself, however, knowing she was too scared to fall back asleep alone. With a hushed voice, she called out. “M-mom.”

Her mother sat up quickly turning to look at her daughter. It seemed she hadn’t fallen back to sleep, which was good for the scared filly. She never left the bed gesturing to Applejack to come in. “What’s wrong, Jackie?” She asked, her voice tired yet so comforting.

Applejack slowly made her way over to her mother's bedside, her hooves visible shaking. “I-I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with ya?” She asked reaching her hooves up.

Without saying a word her mother smiled and delicately helped her onto the bed holding her close. The warmth of her mother's chest eased Applejack almost instantly. She felt the slow soothing motion of her mother’s hooves moving along her back. “Shh it’s okay, everything's okay now.”

Applejack nuzzled her face into her mother’s chest cuddling close as she could. “I had a dream you didn’t love me anymore.”

Her mother rested her head up Applejack back humming. “That’s never true, we will always be here for you.” She kept up the light humming. “always.”

---

Applejack felt a hoof repeatedly nudge against her side. She shook her head realizing she been staring at the wall for who knows how long.

“Applejack, are you okay?” Apple Bloom asked quickly hugging her sister.

It was then that Applejack felt the tears run down her cheek. She shook her head trying to keep it together. “It’s hard to explain Apple Bloom just…” she hugs her sister back close.

Apple Bloom remained silent for some time her posture shifting. “It that day again isn’t it?” she asked sounding guilty.

Applejack nodded giving a light nuzzle back. “Y-yeah.”

Apple Bloom looked down ears folded. “I’m sorry for making you cry.”

The older sister held the hug closer. “No, it wasn’t your fault Apple Bloom. Just having a hard time lately. I’m here for you okay, I promise.”

The two continued to hug for some time in the comfort of each other. Apple Bloom was too young to fully understand the pain but she at least there when Applejack needed a hug.

Applejack lifted her head noting the time. “Are ya feeling better now?” She asked letting her younger sister get out of bed.

Apple Bloom nodded scampering off to the bathroom. Applejack remained where she was for a time glancing about the room. The fact that this had been her parent's room only made her tear up again. She shook her head quickly realizing her state. “I can’t be this worked up, I’m not weak I can do this. Put yourself together,” she muttered to herself heading out into the hall and to the kitchen for breakfast.

---

It had been a long four hours since her morning’s emotional outburst. She spent her time bucking apple trees keeping her focus on other things to possibly get her mind off of the subject. Her usual cope, however, was failing her, the upcoming doctor visit in the forefront of her mind. She managed to get her chores down before heading to the hospital.

She normally never had anxiety but the long waiting time was getting to her. Nopony seemed to be talking leaving the large waiting room feeling like avoid. Lately, it had been rather quiet in Ponyville, for once, leaving no hot topics to bring up. She fiddled with her hooves as each tick of the clock echoed in her head.

After what felt like forever the mare at the desk called out. “Applejack, Doctor Cheer-Field will see you now.”

Applejack lazy got to her hooves setting her hat on her head. Her hooves echoed down the plain white hallway. Lights buzzed overhead as she passed three similar doors before coming up the one she sought. The engraved nameplate read Doctor CheerFeild. She took a moment to adjust her hat before knocking.

The sound of a wheelchair was heard moving about before the door was grabbed in a soft yellow aura and pulled open. “Ah, Applejack, nice to see you again. Care for some tea?” The brown coated stallion asked moving over to the table where the crystal cups sat amongst a few other snacks. The area was decorated with a series of natural colours giving the room a welcoming atmosphere. A detailed brass fan spun on the ceiling keeping the room at a comfortable temperature.

Applejack walked across the green carpet making her way to the couch at the far end of the room. She plonked her rump upon the seat clearing her throat. “Sure I could use a drink.”

Cheer nodded taking a cup from the glass table and pouring her a full glass of green tea. He puts a few spoons of sugar in and stirred before floating it into Applejack hooves. He didn't speak at first as he wheeled over to his desk pulling out Applejack's folder from the large cabinet. Inside were several papers ranging from notes to other manuscripts of the previous session. He cleared his throat letting the clock tick a few times before he spoke. “So, how’s the family?”

Applejack shifted in her seat to get comfy. “We are doing well. Apple Bloom is still trying crazy things to get her cutie mark.”

“I can imagine.”

“Oh ya, all kind of stuff. Although whenever it involved constructing something, she pretty good at it.”

“And what about you?” He asked, flicking his pen open. He adjusted in his seat before focusing his gaze on her.

“I’ve been...fine,” she paused for a moment looking into his eyes. “Well, actually it has been tough lately.” She rubbed the back of her neck shifting more.

He blinked keeping his neutral smile. “Hmm, how so? Something else troubling you?”

Applejack laid her head down taking in a few breaths. He, of course, knew the answer, her pose hardly hiding her distort state. It took her a solid minute to work up the nerve to explain. “Well, you know when I mentioned my parents?”

He nodded letting her continue.

“Well lately I’ve been having trouble with controlling my feelings towards their death,” she took a few breaths. “It has just been difficult. I just..just.I don’t know,” she sank her head into the cushion, ears flat against her head. She felt a bit ashamed at how she was acting as she waited for a response only to hear the tick of the clock and the sound of quill on paper. The silence was almost unbearable for her.

He cleared his throat. ‘So can you describe these feelings in any way? In order to recover, I need insight. Please try,” his voice never went above a low whisper always staying a steady calming range.

Applejack got up to sip her tea and began to explain. She talked about her parent's demise and the shock everypony had at the time. ‘Granny was always there for us when we needed it but she was far too weathered to manage the farm. Both I and Mac had to work hard to keep things going. The thing is the night before they died I had a bad dream and went to them to protect me and slept with them,” a few tears ran down her cheek.

Cheer wheeled over putting his hoof on Applejack back. Applejack flinched a bit having not expected this action, however, she let him pet her back. “So you feel like it was your fault they went out that day?” He asked.

“Yes...no, I mean..” She laid her head down, “I don’t know I can’t explain why. Even my family tells me there was nothing that could have been done to stop it, but I just can't shake that feeling.”

He removed his hoof from her back and wrote on his paper. “Loss is never easy to accept but there are ways to help reduce the pain within.”

Applejack sat back up staring into Cheerfeild’s sapphire eyes. “Well if there is, I have yet to find mine. I’ve had plenty of talks with Granny and Big Mac just never seems to last long.”

“How was your childhood?”

Applejack tilted her head the question seemed to come out of nowhere. “Um, was nice I suppose. although most of it after my parents passing was mostly work and school. I don’t see how this related to me having trouble letting go.”

He wrote more on his sheet of paper before replying. “Just thinking of a few options for treatments is all. As for the emotions, you feel they are natural but you seem to focus too much on the negative.”

“What so positive about the death of your own parents?” Applejack jutted her hooves up. “Nopony should go through life without even knowing their parents. All Apple Bloom has is the family photo,” she put her head into her hooves unsure why she mentioned her sister but it was true Apple Bloom would never truly understand her woes.

After an hour of letting out her feelings, Applejack sighed. “Well, any ideas doc?”

Cheerfeild taps his chin and looked down at his notes. "You seem to have trouble accepting the loss. I see that having a stressful childhood has had some impact on your motives for wanting to keep up the appearance of being strong. Do you feel any better?”

She turned her head to look into his eyes adjusting his hat. “Hmm? What is it?”

“Well I suppose, but what this treatment you haven’t told me anything about it.”

“That is what makes it special,” he replied giving Applejack the information card. “Trust me it’s nothing bad or anything. She is a really nice mare.”

Applejack nodded thanking him for the time and left. After a short discussion with her family, she had figure out a good time to go visit. It was nearly two weeks later that she packed up her saddlebag to head off.

“So were you going again, sis?” Apple Bloom asked as she stood in the doorway.

“To a manor just outside of Ponyville. This Miss Starfield apparently has her own property surprised I never heard of her till now.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

“Yeah, I reckon she related to Cheerfeild in some way or another. I never bothered to ask.” Applejack picked up the golden locket from the desk and popped it open staring at the photo of her mother and father. “Did I never mention how much I appreciated this gift, Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom smiled. “Well it was more Granny’s idea but I’m glad you like it.”

Applejack came up to her sister and gave her a big hug. “You mean the world to me, Apple Bloom, I just wish you could have known them more.”

“At least I have you. Even if you are a bit crazy at times,” the younger sister hugged back nuzzling Applejack’s chest.

Applejack chuckled at that. “Yeah I do tend to do that but only because I care so much for ya.” she gave her a snuggie before looking at the time. “You better get ready, your friends will be here any second.”

The filly giggled and ran out towards her room happily. Applejack sighed content as she zipped up her bag and headed down the stairs. Big Mac sat in the kitchen eating a leftover slice of apple pie. ‘You sure you can handle things without me, Mac?”

“Eeyup,” he replied simply nodding afterward. The look on his face said it all anyway, she was worrying too much over nothing. It wasn’t like the world was going to end if she left the farm for a few days. She gave him a quick hug before heading out.

As Applejack reached the edge of the housing district she heard the rustling of leaves behind her. She turned to look but upon seeing nopony turned only to be greeted with the large grin on a certain pink party pony.

“Hey, Applejack!”

Applejack jumped startled, backing up a bit. “Gah, Pinkie don’t do that!”

“Oh sorry, just force of habit,” she grinned, “Anyway I hear you're going to visit Ms. Starfield. She really really nice and has this large garden. Oh oh and this one area with a river…”

“Pinkie I’m sure I’ll figure this all out when I get there.” Despite this PInkie kept talking.

“Oh and she has a filly of her own she so cute and friendly, you two will get along nicely.”

Applejack looked at her watch. “Sugercube is there something you needed to tell me I’m kind of have a long walk ahead of me.”

Pinkie bounced. “Oh yeah, a few times. Anyway, have fun foaling around I’ll catch you later,” he beamed before heading off back to Ponyville.

Applejack continued to walk for a bit stopping moments later as PInkie's last sentence echoed in her head. “Foaling? didn’t she mean to say fooling around? Huh probably just a slip of the tongue,” she moves down the road soon spotting the large manor ahead. Her curiosity grew feeling both excited yet nervous about the mystery of what was to come.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

“Oh yeah a few times. Anyway have fun foaling around i’ll catch you later,”

Way to give away the surprise Pinkie. You're lucky Applejack shrugged it off.

[Carpinus Caroliniana]

The idea is very interesting and realistically executed (as realistic as can be for an adult foal story, that is) but you need to work on your story's spelling.

[Smitty91]

Could you please continue this?

[Fluttershyisacutegal]

neat story I'll admit