Here I am, home alone again, watching the weather as I ride out another sever thunderstorm. My name is Brad Hillis. Yeah the last name makes it sound kind of girly, but I don't care. Anyway, I am sixteen years old, an only child, living with my parents. The little twist about watching the news is that my parents are the anchormen for the weather channel, so you can assume I'm watching them right now. My dad is mostly British, with a slight British accent. I don't know how it's slight when he's like I just said, mostly British. His hair looks a lot like President Business from "The Lego Movie." He doesn't have a uni-brow though. He's forty years of age, and he has wrinkles written all over his face. My mother on the other hand is forty-two, and she looks as if she is still in her twenties!! Her blonde hair in slight curls is what gives her, her main attraction, along with her blue eyes that glow in the light pretty much. Metaphorically speaking that is. I mostly look like my mom, but you can still tell I'm a guy thank goodness.
Other than my parents, I do have a couple friends who I don't think are my friends anymore since they never hangout like they used to. The only one who does come over here and there is my friend; Chloe Mandez. She said she's gonna come and spend some time here tomorrow, but she never said when, so I'm not sure. I used to have lots of friends until my parents got their new jobs as anchormen a few months back, then we had to move. So many realities, are now turned to nothing but old memories which are slowly fading away. But who said life was supposed to be absolutely fricking perfect? Nobody. So with that said, I am now, just a loner who spends his time at home playing video games, watching T.V, going on Youtube, or looking up those silly Ermagherd pictures like this one: Ermagherd mershed perderders!! But right now, I find myself watching the news through this huge flupping thunderstorm. I lay back in the whiter armchair, and I lift my feet up onto the ottoman as I watch the loud flash of lights dance across the sky through the glass sliding door.
I watch the storm go by for a while as the gumball sized pieces of hail clink on the glass, and thunk against the walls, and roof. I turn my attention back to the T.V with my parent's faces on it, as mom goes on about how we should take caution through this storm, but they happen quite often here in Oaklahoma. Otherwise known as "The Melting Pot." I know the storms here get bad, but this one is rather terrifying. I turn off the T.V as the camera switches over to my dad, and I get up from my chair. From there, I head into the kitchen in hopes of being able to get a glass of water before a bolt of lightning strikes, and surges through the water stream, through the glass, and into my body. It's dark due to the fact that it's nighttime, and none of the lights are on. I head over to the towel on the counter next to the sink which has recently washed dishes sitting atop it. Right before I turn on the water, out the window, I notice the back gate is open, and so is the door to the shed.
"I swore I closed those" I muttered to myself, placing the glass back down on the counter.
I head over to the other side of the kitchen to the back door, where I grab my grab my black hoodie, and I swing it around my back. I shrug my shoulders forward to pull it onto myself, and I pull up the hood before heading out into the beating rain. Just a few seconds after exiting said house, I find myself being mostly drenched in freezing rainwater. The cold wind blows hard against my right side as I get pelted with hail. I make my way over to the gate as the grass and dirt make squishing sounds from beneath my steel-toed boots. I pull the gate shut, and I make sure the lock stays on this time. Stupid wind must have blown it wide open. Now I head towards the shed, completely soaked, and by this time, the hail has begun to sting my skin through the thickness of my hoodie. There is nothing too special in the shed. Just a few wooden boxes, cloaked with a green sheet draped over them, and a small lantern which sits up on a shelf. Like I said. Nothing special. Nooooottttthhhhhhiiiiiinnnnnggggg!!!!!
I walk up to the door to take a peek inside with barely any light at all to see with. The constant flashes of lightning give me short amounts of time to see well. Just as I said there is nothing but boxes a green sheet, and a lantern. I turn to walk out and shut the door, when there is a loud crack of thunder, which causes me to lose my balance a bit, and my ears begin to ring. I stumble forward a bit, but I'm able to stop myself on the door. But then I hear what sounds like...whimpering? Like a little girl made that whimper. Then another flash of lightning, and on the floor I see a black blanket covering the moaning figure. I take a step forward, now having regained my balance, but only for the black figure to move away, towards the back of the shed. But then it trips over a plank of wood I forgot to mention, causing it to stand, and fall backwards, revealing what was under that sheet,
"P-please don't hurt me." The voice says shakingly, probably scared to heck from the thunder, and lightning.
Once again with the help of the flashing lightning I begin to slowly make out who, or...what? This thing is. I see what seems to be a human child except for the legs, and the head. From what I can make out, they seem to belong to that of a pony, but...why just the legs, and head? I see two human arms with hands, and also something else on the head I see is...a horn?! I take another step closer, as this creature staggers backwards on it's back to get as far from me as possible. CCRRAACCKK!!. Once again, the little creature flinches from the magnitude of the sound. I notice another thing about this thing. It's soaking wet, just like me, well that's to be expected being out here in this weather. I also notice the hair on this thing has two hues of blue, and I see what looks like a tail that matches. This thing is so cute, and freaky at the same time I don't know how it works. It begins to softly cry now.
"Hey I'm not gonna hurt ya. How about I get you inside okay?" I ask reassuringly, reaching out a hand to the creature who is holding it's head in it's own hands. It stops crying now, and looks up to me with amazing, magenta colored eyes. It begins to stretch an arm out, but hesitates. "Come on. I'm gonna help you okay?"
It pauses for a second, then nods, and takes my hand in it's own. From there I pick her up into my arms. She struggles a bit, so I stroke her blue hair to calm her. As soon as I have her held in my arms, water squeezes out from her body, and onto my shirt when I realize this creature is covered it a white fur coat. It's shaking quite a lot, telling me it must be very cold. I reach over to the boxes, and I pull off the green blanket, and I wrap the small creature in it, as it begins to stare at me, scared. I pull a little bit of it over it's head to cover it. Then, I turn around, and I dash back to the house trying to avoid getting pelted by a rain of hail again. Oh wow, I just punned. And a crappy one at that too. I place the pony thing on the counter and I head over to the pantry to fetch some towels, and I turn on the light. I grab a stack of three perfectly folded towels, and I return to the weird pony/human hybrid.
"Th-thank you mister." The creature says smiling slightly at me, then falling to it's side on the counter, unconscious.
I know it will be fine, but for now, I'm going to get it dried. I pause for a moment realizing how it's sleeping like it naturally went to sleep, rather than passing out. I shrug it off as I set the towels on the counter next to the mysterious being. I take one, and I place it on the head, and I rub it back and forth, being careful of the horn. I make my way down it's neck, and to the back. After a minute or two of drying, the first towel is already soaked. I plop it down on the floor, and it lands with a small splash. I take the second towel, and I dry off the arms, and upper body, working my way down. I manage to get this towel to dry the rest of the body, now all that is left is the tail. I pick the creature up again, and I lay it by the sink so the tail drapes into it. I grab the tail in my hand, and already, water is running down my hand. I fold it in half, and I twist a little, and I watch as a waterfall runs down out of the tail. I do this a few more times until I can't get anymore water to drip.
After a half hour or so, I got it wrapped in blankets, and I had laid it down on the bed in my room. Well here I am again, sitting in the armchair, feet on the ottoman, with the weather news on. By now, the storm has died down a bit thankfully, and I see as my parents leave the set. So now they are done with work and should be home in the next hour. A few minutes later, my phone on the coffee table begins to vibrate. I pick it up to see my mother is calling. I answer it.
"Hey ma, what's up?" I ask in the most unsuspecting voice I can manage to muster up.
"Your father. and I are going to be home sooner than usual, just to let you know. say...twenty-five minutes?"
"Okay. Is that it?"
"Yes, I love you hunny bunch, ba baii!" And with that, I hear her hang up. I'm surprised we even got a connection in a storm like this. I hang up the phone, and I hear a little thump coming from my room. I get up, and I walk down the hall to the door at the end, and I open it ever so slightly. Thump, thump. thump. Goes the sound again. Just the hail against the wall. Then I hear the whimpering again. I make my way over to the bed to see the little creature, hiding in the blankets so only it's face is showing.
"Hey there. is something wrong?" I ask, as I put my hand down on the creature, and I rub it's side. Not like the way you sicko's might be thinking either.
"I-I'm scared, and I want my mommy." She pouts. I just assume she, due to the voice.
"It's going to be okay. Okay?"
"Okay..." The small child responds, and she uncovers herself, and throws herself onto me, hugging me.
"I'm here for you little one." I reply soft, and soothingly, as I hug her back. "Do you have a name?"
"Yeah." She says nodding against my stomach. "It's Vi...Vinyl-Scratch"
"Well isn't that a nice name?" I remove her from me, and I sit her down in front of me.
"I guess. What's your name mister?" She asks, sounding a lot better than before.
"Brad Hillis. Not as cool as your name though. How old are you?"
"It's okay. I'm seven." She replies smiling a bit. "If you don't mind me asking...what are you?" She asks, tilting her head in one direction.
"It's fine. I wanted to ask you the same thing, but I'm a human." I say, putting a hand on my chest.
"Well I'm a pony, or...at least I was." She looks down at her hands.
"You don't say."
"I don't know how I ended up here, and I just wanna go home." Vinyl sighs, looking down. W-why does that name seem to feel as if it comes from somewhere?
"I don't know either. Say, are you hungry?" I ask as her belly rumbles a bit.
"Yeah...a bit I guess." She replies blushing, rose red.
"Okay, how do pancakes sound, if you have ever heard of them."
"Are they round, and made of this doughy-like stuff?" She asks, bouncing up and down a bit on the bed.
"Yeah, why do you ask?"
"Because where I come from they're called haycakes. But I don't get it. Why are they called hay cakes when they aren't even made of hay?" She asks, lifting a brow, and looking up in a quizzical manner.
"Okay, well let's go. Just sitting here talking about it won't fill our bellies any sooner." I reply with a chuckle, as I get up from the bed. I watch as Vinyl scoots to the edge, and plops softly on her hooves, leaning against the bed. "Need any help?"
"No no. I...I got it." She replies, as she softly pushes herself off of the bed, and tries to stand, her arms flailing in circles as she tries to balance out. She said she was a pony, but now she's like, half human now, so this is new for her, so I guess I will have to help her when she needs it. She stands straight up now, and slowly takes a step forward. "This is harder than I thought." She chuckles a bit, and takes another step.
"Yeah, being so used to walking on all fours, then having to walk on just two legs must be a challenge." I reply with a smirk, as I lean against the door frame.
Eventually she gets the whole walking on two legs thing down, and we head for the kitchen. She takes a seat at the table, and begins to fiddle with her new appendages known as fingers. I have to admit, she's a little cutie. I smile a bit, as I gather the necessary items. Pancake mix of course. Pure vanilla extract which just so happens to be forty-one percent alcohol. Drink the whole bottle, and you'll get drunk for sure. A griddle to cook the pancakes on, and anything else I may need. I Follow the instructions on the box so I don't mess up. It has never failed that if I didn't follow the instructions I would fail at making whatever it was I was attempting to make. I make only four pancakes. two for Vinyl, and two for me. It takes me about five minutes to have them made. I glance quickly at my wrist watch. 9:45pm. they should be home in about another five to ten minutes. But what will they think of Vinyl? I hope they don't make her leave. She would have died most likely if I hadn't of gone out there when I did.
"Brad?" Vinyl asks from the table behind me.
"Yeah?"
"Th-thanks for...you know..."
"Helping you? I couldn't leave you out there. It wouldn't have been the right thing to do." I reply softly, as I head over to the table with two plates, each with two medium sized pancakes on each.
"I didn't think you would with me being...different." She replies, looking down at herself.
"Look. I don't care how different you think you are." I say kneeling down in front of her so we were at eye level. "I saw how scared you were, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I left you there like that." With that, I pat her shoulder then I stand up, and I walk to my seat.
Just in case you're thinking, I poured syrup on the pancakes before bringing them to the table. I take my fork, and I cut my pancakes down into little half inch squares. I go to eat a piece when I notice Vinyl grunting with her eyes closed very tightly.
"Something the matter Vinyl?" I ask with a puzzled look strewn across my face.
"I'm trying to *grunt* use...magic *grunt* to lift...my *grunt* fork." She replies her eyes still glued shut, her hands balled into clenched fists, and I can see little sparks of what looks like a blue light go on and off, around her horn. Then suddenly her horn glows a full blue, and her fork becomes surrounded with the same blue aura, leaving my jaw hitting the floor. She opens her eyes, and sees her accomplishment. "Look I'm doing it!" She squeals, beaming from perked up ear, to perked up ear as her fork levitates over to her pancakes, and cuts a slice off. Then the fork moves closer to her as she engulfs the piece of pancake with her mouth.
"Yay you did it!!" I cheer, clapping my hands, while at the same time wanting to shoot myself for just being a witness to this. Then she gets up, and prances around the floor, her tail following happily behind her. After she finishes, she skips over to me, and wraps me in a tight hug.
"I did it! I really did it!" She says happily, as she snuggles her head into my chest. But the one thing that caught me off was that magic was actually possible. Magic has been a big belief since magic became a myth, and now, I get to be the first person to see physical magic actually be done.
"Did you really just use magic?"
"Yes, and it was my first time actually doing it too! It was so cool!" She coos, now playing with the fork via magic.
"Yeah, it was pretty cool wasn't it?. " I say approvingly, but her time of accomplishment has sadly been cut short due to the triple knocking sound on the front door.
"Brad, we're home!" I hear my mothers voice call out.
Shit
NONOONONONOONNONOONONONONONOONNONONONONONONONOONONONOOO. THIS DOESN'T EXIIST
5478956 not this one. i have looked into vinyls scratch versions of mld, but this one is different.
5478936 what do u mean?
I mean that this type of formula is overused in the community. Yes, while we will expect clichés in this story, I seriously find it lacking creativity and/or a fresh story.
5478981 u dont get it. the way this story is put together hasnt been done. how many mld insperated stories have u seen where the character was an anthro? plus there are only two other v-scratch stories based off of mld but they went nowhere, but this one im not even sure if its gonna follow the same guidelines. i tend to make my stories as diferent as possible, but under the same general idea
5478988 kay....dont see what you mean by lacks creativity. this is just the start. u dont even know what CREATIVE ideas i have for future chapters.
5479003 Yeah, look. The first chapter is like a pilot to a TV show. If it sucks, which in my opinion it was, or fails to be original it turns people off. Now why I say original, is because this is basically MLD with a anthro pony. And with how many spinoffs and sequels there are to that, I cannot find this at the very most Original/Entertaining
5479018 Well i respect your opinion, but nothing is set in stone until we know for sure, so if the frist chapter wasnt what u had hoped, doesnt mean the whole story will suck
5479022 I will give it five chapters, as I believe that is go long a story should take to get settled in depending how it is. Best of luck writing this and improving on it.
5479030 omg i meant to say first not frist
The cover art barely depicts her as anthrofied.
Just because you have a unusual skin and hair color, doesn't make you anthro, and neither does having a horn or tail, no matter where they stick out.
In the picture, she is at best a human mutant, or an alien humanoid species, but not anthropomorphic .
For her to be anthro, she'd need to retain various attributes and visual properties that remind of her original species, such as a muzzle for example in addition to bend knees and hooves.
In a sense, the ponies in Equestria are actually anthropomorphic as well, if only vaguely, when we compare them to ponies from earth, because the Equestrians already feature various visual properties, that are rather human (binocular vision, expressive intelligent eyes etc), plus their bodily proportions are vastly different from a regular horse as well (size of limbs, general height, much less visible muscles).
Here is an example of a definite anthropomorphic depiction of Vinyl Scratch:
fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/303/1/b/anthro_vinyl_scratch_by_edison_light-d5jfj84.png
Take note of her hooves and muzzle, as well of the fact that she has coat
fur, instead of simple skin.
The features on the Vinyl Scratch in this picture, that are supposed to be reminiscent of her being originally a pony, are too few to categorize her as anthropomorphic.
In other words she looks much too human to be called an anthro.
Hope I could help.
PS: Yes, I do realize this story's cover image pops up on Google for "anthro vinyl", but Is still technically incorrect. The vinyl scratch in this picture can barely be called anthro and more so a humanoid mutant or alien humanoid.
I mean really, since when does skin color and a horn make you anthro by default? If she doesn't sport a pony muzzle, ears and possibly hooves on her hind legs in addition, you wouldn't be able to tell what species she heirs from, and rather think of her as a human with mutations.
Hmm... I'll give it a shot...
5479160 sorry i couldnt find anything better for the cover pic. its really the only thing that seemed appealing. but i will search again. and i know what anthropomorphic creatures look like too. but thanks anyway, and i am sorry i couldnt find a better pic
Word of advice: don't start your fic with a huge info dump. Instead, weave it into the story. For example, instead of telling us that a character has blonde hair, you could describe said character's hair blowing in the wind, or have said character run a hand through his hair. Also, instead of telling us that a characters parents are dead, you could have a scene were said character looks mournfully at a family photo.
i.ytimg.com/vi/GD6qtc2_AQA/maxresdefault.jpg
5479645 eeeeyup thx for the advice
Very good job but please put more chapters...
5479798 yaaass!!
The terrible knock-off of the Vogonverse. Probably. Not.
5479860 wut?
5479864
Look it up. Maybe join it if you want.
5479866 ok
5479799 so please find an editor.
[youtube=gRp_dUo5K1c]
WERE HOME!!!!
-SkullKing
5480412 yeah
5478981
5478988
no it's different
5482201 yeah XD
it was going perfectly... until "daddy" was wrote. In my opinion you definitely brought this on way way waaaayyyyyy too soon. But i can live with it, considering that this has been the first story in a while with a brilliant concept and brilliant execution of the story. Over the last week or so, I've been granted the displeasure of running into stories with a brilliant, fantastic, beautiful concept, created by... "bad," writers. (in the loosest sense of both the words "bad" and "writer" )
The most disappointing story i've personally encountered is in my "The Twilight Zone" bookshelf (loved the concept, hated the writing, it is getting a rewrite though), and i can happily say that this story is definitely not going to that dark little corner
5483900 thx. i kinda felt the same way too that she had called him daddy already. maybe i can push it to the next chapter?
5479160 you must be really fun at parties
5483931 yes, edit it out of this chapter and weave it into a later one, yes! YES!
5483949 haha lolz XD I'm glad you like it. it's rare i get a good comment from critics, but since how fast this story was being favorited I guess it was to eventually be expected. Srsly. in the time of five minutes i had gotten at least 20 favs
5483958 you deserve it man. or at least, you do in my opinion
5483982 thanks another good story of mine is my story called Princess Luna is in your bed.
5483949 Only when I'm drunk, or bring my house monkey with me.
5484072 XD
5484072 hm... i may actually invite you...
5484152 to what?
You got my dislike when I saw this:
5486011 I know i agree. im trying to find a way to move it out of that chapter
[youtube=ptn5_Mb2UK8]
5478988 5478981
Will you two haters please stop hating
5488554 lolz
5488554 Yeah, Thats right! Remember kids! Your Constructive Opinion Is nothing less than hating!
5494097 XD
gg no re
5589654 ?
A pony turning into an anthro when it enters the human world? My good sir you have just given me a story to which I've never seen before. And I like it!
I like this. I really do. Like all of your other stories, this has great potential. Its just... one thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hated or somepony like that. Its just that...
BRAD.