The Last Cake Standing
A soldier made his way across the battlefield, constantly looking around him as he went. One hand gripped his weapon tightly, using it as a staff for support. His other arm was wrapped around one of his squad mates, keeping him up and moving despite the major wound. Behind them, a trail of red marked where they had come from.
"Just leave me, Sarge," the wounded soldier said. "She already got me. I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to make it."
"I don't want to hear that, Private," Sergeant Black Forest growled. "No one gets left behind. If you can walk and talk, you can still make it." He let out a huff. "We just need to find a place to hole up until support can arrive."
"No one's coming to save us!" Private Straw Short shouted. "You saw what that... that monster did to the others: Private Cream, Corporal Velvet, even Captain Down. What chance do we have?"
"That's enough!" Forest snapped. "As long as we are alive, we still have a chance. Now I want you to change your attitude, and that is an order! Got it?"
Private Short said nothing. Sergeant Forest adjust his grip and the two of them continued on. Slowly they made their way along, trying to leave the horrors behind.
"I hear something," Private Short announced. "I think it's her. Oh my Baker. Oh my Baker. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die."
"Keep it together," Sergeant Forest said. "We just have to get a little further and we can hide. If we keep quiet and are lucky, she might just miss us. Understood?"
After the longest few seconds of their life, Private Short gulped and nodded. The two picked up the pace as quick as they could, making their way for what they hoped would be shelter.
It seemed that luck was not completely on their side. They had been hoping that there would be a door that they could open to get inside and hide. Unfortunately what they found instead was a solid surface. The only way to get inside would be to try and break in. Not only would that take too long, but the noise would draw attention to them.
Sergeant Forest set Private Short down.
"Lean forward to keep the wound from leaking too much and wait here," the sergeant ordered. "I'm going to scout around. See if I can find the door and where The Great Eater might be." He gave the private a gentle pat, then moved along the wall. Pressing close, he followed along the edge until reaching a corner. His grip adjusted on his weapon, ready to use it just in case. Slowly he leaned forward, peaking around the corner.
Oh, my, Baker! he thought, staring at what he saw in disbelief.
There was another of them.
It was smaller, and darker colored, but it was definitely another Great Eater. This was something that he had not expected. All this time, they had been battling one, and had been losing quickly. What chance could they possibly have against two of them?
The creature turned its gaze toward the sergeant, causing him to jump back behind the corner once again. It was too late. He had been seen. It would be coming for him now. Maybe he could run. But where? Besides, if he did, it would probably find Private Short.
A crazy thought came to him. This one was smaller than the other. Probably less experienced. He might just be able to take it. To even have a chance, he would have to do it now.
Dear Baker, he silently prayed, Please grant me the strength to send this creature back to The Oven.
Jumping out of his hiding spot, Sergeant Black Forest let out a shout and ran toward the creature. He held his weapon out like a spear, aiming for its legs.
Before he could strike, an aura of dark blue encompassed his form. Sergeant Forest was suddenly lifted in the air, face to face with the smaller Great Eater. Its giant blue eyes narrowed, as it seemed to study him.
"Sister," the creature bellowed. "We wish to speak with you. We have been told that you are in here."
"Over here," another voice -- Sergean Forest recognized it as the other Great Eater -- called out. The younger one headed in the direction of the call, carrying the captured soldier with her.
Princess Celestia sat in the middle of the kitchen floor, licking her lips. All around her were pieces of chunks of cake, globs of frosting, and various types of serving utensils. One hoof patted at her stomach, which was the most swollen she had ever had it.
"What in the name of Equestria is happening?" Luna asked as she walked toward her sister. "We have come to ask you about the strange happenings that we have noticed through our window, only to find that you seem to have gorged yourself on a numerous variety of desserts. In addition, we find this -- " she held out a slice Black Forest cake with tiny arms and legs in her magic "-- attempting to charge us using a cake server."
"Oh you found it," Celestia said as she got up. "It managed to get away from me during the... battle I suppose would work." Her own horn lit up a she took a hold of the cake. "Tell me, did you also find the strawberry shortcake as well? I was starting to eat that one when an attack let it escape."
"Tia," Luna growled, "please try to focus. We wish for you to explain precisely what has happened." She then yanked the slice of cake from her sister's magical grasp. "Also, we are not permitting you to consume this... entity. At least until we are certain that it is not as sentient as it is animate."
"Very well," Celestia said. "Discord has returned."
"Discord?!" Luna cried out, eyes going wide in shock.
Sergeant Black Forest suddenly found himself free of the smaller Great Eater's magical grip. It would have been more of a relief if he had not still been in mid-air. Barely had he released that he was free that gravity took its hold. Sergeant Forest watched as the ground came up toward him, not even having time to utter one last prayer.
"Aww," Celestia pouted, looking at the now smashed piece of cake. "You dropped it."
"You have just informed us that one of the most aggravating threats to us and our country has returned," Luna stated. "Are you not worried of what shall happen?"
Celestia got up from where she sat and walked over to her sister. One of her wings stretched out, wrapping around Luna. Leaning down, Celestia nuzzled gently against her sister's neck.
"Of course I am worried. Even if we do not consider him a threat, he is still dangerous." She let out a sigh and looked toward the window. "But there is nothing that either of us can do at the moment. The Elements of Harmony are needed to defeat him, and we no longer bear them. For now, we can only wait and hope that Shining Armor and his friends are up to it."
"We dislike the necessity to rely on others to protect us," Luna grumbled, leaning into the hug. "More so when it is our duty to look over and protect them."
"I understand," Celestia replied. "However, it is necessary. Our little ponies must learn to take care of themselves without our aid. Plus, as I have already pointed out, we no longer hold The Elements. As much as it pains us, as much as it worries us, we must begin to step aside and allow them to do more on their own."
Luna sighed, but said nothing.
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That is a bunch of baloney they and know it!!!!!!!! Great chapter interesting idea.
5529545 Well, what exactly do you expect them do to a reality warper like Discord?
*Thinks for a minute or so* Hmmm.... *Stops thinking and Shrugs* I've got nothing about this, just the Comedy part of it.
Good Luck on the rest, Homie/Buddy! (that's you Hopeful!)
Lets take a moment to remember those who have fallen in combat:
Captain Pineapple Upside Down-KIA
Sergeant Black Forest-KIA
Corporal Red Velvet-KIA
Private Banana Cream-KIA
Private Strawberry Short-MIA, presumed dead
Would have been funnier if Celestia accidentally burped in the middle of a sentence...but it's still pretty funny
The Great Eater!
OMG its beautiful!
5530159 General Twinkie is greatly disturbed by this, but nevertheless he steels himself and sends out Sergeant Yellow, Lieutenant Devil's Food, Corporal Birthday, Captain Hot, and Private Ice Cream
6101606 With time now being of the essence, General Twinkie has no choice but to have them airlifted in. The only pilots with experience landing a chopper in a hot LZ are Captain Gooey Butter and Captain Sponge, with their co-pilots, Lieutenant Cheese and Lieutenant Fruit.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fighting+foodons+opening&&view=detail&mid=9C61178160F55E33C9A39C61178160F55E33C9A3&&FORM=VDRVRV
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fighting+foodons+opening&&view=detail&mid=D6EB8E6A63232716DB4ED6EB8E6A63232716DB4E&rvsmid=9C61178160F55E33C9A39C61178160F55E33C9A3&FORM=VDQVAP