Thud thud thud thud thud thud!
"Please, let me in! Please!"
Fluttershy's emerald green eyes shot open, startled awake. Somepony was at the door. She got out of her soft bed, even though she would've liked nothing more then to jump back into the warm, safe, soft covers and be back in the world of sleep. Who could that be? she wondered. It didn't sound like and of her friends, or-in fact-anypony she knew. And why would they be outside? There was currently a huge downpour and anypony who got caught in the middle of it would be drenched.
Boom!
Her thoughts were interupted by the loud thunder which roared through the sky.
"Please! Help me!" the voice was frantic, pleading to be let into the home. Fluttershy rushed down the wooden stairs, towards the door. It was obvious whoever it was needed help. She yanked the entrance open, expecting to see a colt asking for help. When she meet eye to eye with the creature, a large gasp escaped her throat and she took an involuntary step back. The figure standing in front of her was drenched to the bone. Its front right leg was torn and bleeding, and its chest was bruised and battered. It's black face was tired, as if it hadn't slept in days. Its light blue eyes only showed worry, fear, and the puppy dog look of begging. It's moth-like wings were tucked at it's trembling sides.
Changeling.
"Please, help me..." its dry and cracked voice was almost a whisper. For a moment they each just stood there, starring at each other as if time itself had stopped. The moment was broken by a large, powerful voice.
"Where are you, vermin?!"
The changeling's eyes went wide as plates.
"Please..."
"Oh, alright, come in." Fluttershy said, unable to resist the pleas of a wounded creature. The changeling rushed inside like a bullet, eager to get out of the rain. Fluttershy closed the door and turned to have the changeling grab her in a bear hug.
"Thank you..." he said, relief clearly shown on his face and in his tone.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud!
"Ma'am, open your door, this is the royal guard. If you do not open up we can and will use force to get in." It was the voice from before. The look of relief was gone faster then it came.
"Oh no, where can I hide?" he asked frantic once again.
"Why shouldn't I report you? I mean, why would they chase you?" Fluttershy asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Because they were the ones who did this to me." He said, showing off his arm and chest. He winced when the yellow pegasus pushed her hoof against it.
"Please, I don't want to get hurt again." the changeling begged.
She sighed in defeat, and pointed toward a door "OK, go to that closet."
"Ma'am you have until I reach five," the changeling zoomed into the closet, eager to get away, "5...4...3...2..."
Fluttershy yanked opened the door once again. Two guards stood on her doorstep-a white one and a grey one. They both looked annoyed, probably from having to run around in the downpour so much. The grey one seemed a bit...angry. As if he was one second away from completely loosing it.
"Have you seen a changeling around?" The grey one asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
"No, I don't think so..." Fluttershy said quietly, almost a mumble, her mind going over what was going on.
"Are you positive?" The white one asked, disappointment written clear on his face. What if the changeling had lied and inflicted those wounds on himself? If she told him then she wouldn't have to worry, worry about getting caught. But then she noticed a tiny bit of blood on the grey one's armor. That, and the fire in his eyes made Fluttershy realize that they weren't just doing their job. They were hurting others.
"Yes, im possitive," she said, louder this time, "but maybe it ran into the forest?" She suggested.
"Hm, we hadn't thought about that. Thank you ma'am."
As they left, Fluttershy overheard the start of a conversation.
"If I find him, i'm going to rip out his guts. I swear i'll kill that bastard."
After that, the voices got swept away with the rain.
"So, what's your name?" Fluttershy asked as her and the changeling took seats across from each other near the dining room table. The pegasus had helped fix her new guest with bandages and painkillers after giving him some food and water.
"Differ." he said.
"So, um, Differ, why are you here? Arent you supposed to be with the queen or something?" the pegasus asked, trying to be as polite as possible.
"Well," he began, "After the failed attack on canterlot, everyone was getting angry at queen Chrysalis. They all blamed the failure on her. So there was rioting, fighting, rebellion, chaos. I ran away to find somewhere better. I found myself running through forests and towns, trying not to get caught. Then, when those guards came..." Differ geustered to the fresh bandages, "they beat the hay out of me. I didnt think I would survive, but when one of them got distracted by another changeling, I ran. I kept running untill I found you. I'm really sorry for putting you in so much danger, it's just-"
Fluttershy put her hoof against his lips, "It's fine. I take care of animals for a living, I have all the supplies and it wouldn't bother. Just don't bother anypony, or have anypony notice your here. When your better you can go.
Authors note: thanks for reading the intro to my fanfiction! I just wanted to say that im begining a project where me and a few others will animate it!
Very good
awesome! formatting could definitely use some work, and maybe a few grammer nuances, but I'm diggin' this story, bro
Tracking
I can try the changeling voice, would you like a normal sounding one or one that is much more... scratchy.
Hmmm.... You forgot to capitalize and add an apostrophe to the "I'm" when Fluttershy spoke to the guards. Also, positive is spelled with one "S", not two. This idea is interesting. I'll watch it.
Fix the small errors.
But either way.
1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cl5HesDebiA/T28vDhifTOI/AAAAAAAAAL4/Fw9qNY9osGs/s1600/im-watching-you-meme.gif
It's unique. Watching.
this is relevant TO MY INTRESTS
Interesting. But the grammar errors are like slaps to the face. Seriously.
Also, your writing is a bit sparse on details. Is that intentional? Unless you have a really good plot, I'd recommend to start being more descriptive.
Watching though. Good job.
I look forward to the animated version of this (if you actually end up going through with that)
This is a cool idea, but the formatting, grammar and spelling could be improved. I suggest that you get an editor.
Otherwise, it's a cool story.
Thanks for all the feedback everyone! If I could get an editor that could help.
I know it's completely overused, but... DIS GON BE GUD!
Looks interesting. Will be tracking.
I ABSOLUTELY WITH ALL OF BEING LOATHE SHIPPING.
CONFOUND THIS STORY, IT DRIVES ME TO TRACK IT AND ALL IT'S SHIPPINGNESS
Eh... I'll keep an eye on this.
I am watching you. This is interesting to follow. I was wondering when a story similar to this would show up.
559923
I mean, I could be an editor, but only if nobody else wants it; I'm not much for editing phrasing, but I can catch some basic grammatical errors if you really need the help.
Like everyone else: interesting and I'm watching
Is that changeling a guy? If so I do want to try out you need to make this longer
560900 yes he's a guy. If you want to try out message me. Also, this one was short just so I could have an intro, publish it, and get voice actors. The other ones will be longer.
559923
Hello sir,
Might I be of service as an editor?
You know...only if you want to...
560949 sure. I honestly have never had an editor before, so I guess after im one with a chapter I can send it to you and you can tell me what grammer/spelling/whatever is wrong
I am watching you. This is interesting to follow. I was wondering when a story similar to this would show up.
100 favorites?! Holy crap thank you all!!!!
Are u going to post a full chapter soon? still interested but don't have the software
how are you people still favoriting this?! Wow!
562700 well, id say the soonest is this weekend. Im not possitive, im still figuring some stuff out.
It sounds really good! But are other people editing it or yourself? I like the idea, but the problem is, there isn't enough detail, which can be easily added by an editor, and the spacing is awkward. There were some grammar mistakes and such, although it was generally okay. The chapter was a bit short.
Love to hear the rest of it though! If you are having trouble proofreading, ask a friend to do it for you/someone you know who is on Fimfiction.
Yay?
559778 Seconded. This has much promise.
574946 um, well I already have an idea for the beggining of the next chapter and plan to start it soon. Have no idea when it will be published though
Also have no idea how people are still finding this
my god i want more!
575041
its hard to form an opinion with just 1k words... but so far seems good to me. u might want to make new paragraphs more distinguishable.
I'm watching you.
And Rarity too.
Fluttershy always cares for everyone that's what makes her almost better then rainbow swash :D RAINBOW FACES
this why i love being a brony......epic fanfics!!!
I'm sorry, I can't bring myself to read the rest. The errors keep glarring at me in unsettling ways, can you tell them to stop?
Several of them like "didnt" are missing apostraphes, to name one group of them.
Yay
Interesting start. Fluttershy is always a good choice for changeling fics, she can't stand song others hurt, no matter the species.
Cya
Raziel-chan