Memories of Joe the Unicorn

by Cool writer

[6] Anthropology

Joe woke up, he was really groggy.

"God, I'm tired." He said as he walked to the bathroom, like every other day. Today was Saturday, so Joe was probably going to crusade with his friends today. That was what they planned. Some one knocked on the door. It was probably Lyra. She came around asking for books, Spike had told him. Joe put some water in his mouth and began to swish.

"Hello Spike!" Came the voice of (presumably) Lyra. Joe began to gargle. This was an unfortunate choice. "I was wondering if Twilight had any books on humans." Joe started choking on the water. He ended up spitting all the water on the mirror.

"Oh yeah. Twilight told me to give you these." Spike said.

"Thanks Spike!" Lyra said as Joe finished coughing and tried to leave the bathroom, but he ended up tripping over his own hooves.

"Stupid hooves!" Joe said still trying to get up.

"Buy!" 'Lyra' said, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing. Joe had finally opened the door and tried to go down the stairs. He soon finally made it down stairs panting.

"Who... was that?" Joe asked panting deeply.

"Oh, that was that Lyra I told you about." Spike said. "She just left." Joe sighed. He raced out the door and looked around outside. There was a huge crowd outside, and he relised that he didn't even know what Lyra looked like. Joe lowered his head, and walked back int the library.

---

Mean While, in Canterlot...
Sundrop was looking out of her window, thinking about Joe. The sun was rising, it was her favorite time of day. She watched as she knew her (insert family relative name here) was using her magic to raise the sun. She watched for what felt like a blissful eternity as the sun rose in the sky. She grinned, and let out a sorrowful sigh. Just then, Celestia walked into the room.

"Oh, hi." Sundrop said as she entered the room.

"Hello, my dear." Celestia replied, taking a seat next to Sundrop. "Why so glum? Dawn is your favorite time of day." Celestia asked.

"Well, It's just Joe. It was kind a' nice, haven' a friend my age to hang out with." Sundrop said. Clestia looked out from the window, her eyes landing on ponyville. Her face showing an expression of great fear, no... worry. Sundrop looked down. In that moment she knew:

"Something big is coming."

---

JOURNAL Day 18, Saturday
Today, I over herd a mare from town talk about humans! I didn't know ponies knew they existed! She left before I could get a chance to talk to here. But I know her name is Lyra heartstrings, and I have a general idea of where she lives. I'm going to go into town to look for her. This may be my big brake on my quest to go home! I just hope I don't run into the crusaders...

Joe was walking around town, looking for Lyra's house.

"It's got to be here somewhere." he said, frustrated. He knew what she looked like now: a teal coat, a sky blue main and tail with one white stripe running through them. Her cutiemark, was obviously a lyer. She really stood out in a crowd. He twirled around, looking for the collars. 'Where is she?'

"OOF!" Joe bumped into somepony.

"Sorry." came a familiar female voice. Joe noticed who he bumped into.

"Are you, Lyra Heartstrings?" Joe asked. He was right.

"Yes I am. What's your name?" Lyra asked back.

"I'm Joe, I'm staying with Twilight." Joe explained. "You came today, asking about humans?" Joe put emphasis on the word humans. Lyra's face lit up.

"What do you know about, humans?" She whispered excitedly in his ear.

"That's what I came to ask you." Joe replied calmly and coolly.

"Hmm... Touche." Lyra said, slowly nodding. After a moment, she responded. "Alright. I'll show you. Come on." Lyra nodded towards a 2 story building, and started walking towards it. Lyra opened the door and they stepped in. It was a nice, common house. It had a hallway that led to the living room, the kitchen, a closed room, and a staircase. The walls were bare, containing only a few pictures of Lyra, and one other pony. The sounds of cooking came from the kitchen.

"Oh, that's my room mate, Bon bon." Lyra said. The cooking sounds lowered their volume.

"Lyra? Is that you?" came a female voice from the kitchen. "Who are you talking to?"

"Oh, someone staying with Twilight. He came asking about humans." Lyra called. At the word humans, some clatter came from the kitchen. A white pony with with a dark blue main and tail (with a stripe of dull pink running through it) they ended in curls. Her cutie make was three pieces of candy. Her collars reminded Joe a LOT of candy. She slowly left the kitchen. She noticed Joe and raced up to Lyra, eyes bulging.

"Your not going to show him... the..." Bon bon shuttered. "hands... are you? You'll scare him for life!" Bon bon screamed at Lyra.

"They weren't that bad..." Lyra muttered. "Fine. I won't show him..." Lyra said in the way a little filly does. Bon bon walked back into the kitchen. The sounds that stopped started back up again. Joe looked at Lyra, questioningly.

"Hands?" He asked.

"Do you know what humans look like?" Lyra asked as she walked towards the closed door.

"Yes." Joe said following her. "I know what humans look like."

"Well, I cast a spell to turn my hooves into hands." Lyra said. Joe immediately replied.

"Can you cast that spell on me?" He asked a little to keenly.

"Sorry," Lyra said. "I promised that I wouldn't do that again." This statement was followed by an exasperated "Thank Celestia!" from the kitchen. Joe and Lyra walked threw the door. The door led to a library, filled with books and other things of the such.

"This is the study. Where I do my research on humans." Lyra said.

"How do you research humans?" Joe asked. "They don't live in equestria." Lyra's ears perked up.

"What?" She asked. "You know where humans, live?" Lyra asked.

"Well..." Joe caughed. "I never said that..."

"You do! You know where the humans are!" Lyra said bouncing around the room. She stopped. "Where are they? How do you get there? What are you? Are they nice?" Lyra asked in rapid sucsession. "Ooo! Tell me! Tell me! TELL ME!" Lyra shoved her face in Joe's, with wide childlike eyes and a grin so big it could rival pinkie pie's.

"Whoa whoa, whoa! Slow down!" Joe said, scooting back. "To be honest, I don't know. I came here to see what you knew." Joe admitted. Lyra's face fell.

"Oh." Lyra said, less exited. "But, why do you believe me?" Lyra's disposition returned to how she was before she got all exited.

"Well that's because I am, a human." Joe said, attempting to sound mysterious. In that moment, if you listened carefully, you could here the sound of Lyra braking. Lyra fell over, her eyes blank. "Lyra!" Joe shouted rushing to her side. He listened for her heart beet, her herd it. Joe stood back up.

"I think I broke her."