The Adventures of Spectrum Slash

by CCC

Pinkie/Keeps

"I don't believe it." said Rainbow Dash, as she strolled through Ponyville accompanied by what appeared to be an ambulatory rainbow.

"What don't you believe?" asked Spectrum Slash.

"You accused Fluttershy of poisoning you." said Rainbow Dash. "Fluttershy! There's not a kinder, more inoffensive, less threatening pony in all of Equestria, and you, you..."

"Wait, Equestria?" asked Spectrum Slash. "I thought you said this place was called Ponyville?"

"Yeah, Ponyville is the town. Equestria is like the whole country."

"What is a country?"

Rainbow's forehoof met her face. "GAH!"

"A country is a 'GAH'?" asked Spectrum Slash, making sure to copy the facehoof along with the word. "What is a 'GAH'?"

"A country is not a 'gah'." replied Rainbow. "A country is a very large space, which includes towns and... and forests and rivers and basically everything in an area." Rainbow paused to consider this for a moment, and then added "A very large area."

"I see." said Spectrum. "So it's kindof like the whole world?"

"Not quite that large."

"Hiiiii-iiiiiiiii!" cried a pink party pony, suddenly jumping up in front of Spectrum Slash. "Hi, are you new? You look new. What's your name? My name's Pinkie Pie! I've never seen you before, and I'm sure I would have remembered, because you're all bright and colourful and stuff, and you're leaving this rainbow trail all over everywhere so it's really easy to follow you, only I went the wrong way along it at first and I got the the library and Twilight was doing some research and you know how she gets when she does some research, well maybe you don't, because you're new, but there were books everywhere especially in the air, and that means it's probably not a good idea to interrupt Twilight, but I saw the rainbow stopped at this pile of papers, so I went the other way, and Fluttershy said I just missed you so I came and caught up, and what's your name?"

"You're... Pink." said Spectum Slash.

"Yepperoooni! From the tip of my snout to the end of my tail, pink, pink, pink!" said Pinkie, giving herself a little wriggle at her sheer pinkness.

"You're this universe's version of Pink. Only you talk more." said Spectrum Slash.

"Wait, do you mean... you know somepony who's actually named Pink?" asked Pinkie. She gasped. "Best... name... EVER!" She hopped a little to the side. "Hey, Dashie, do you think I should legally change my name to Pink? Then everypony would know who I am! They would look at me and say 'She's pink' and I'd be all 'That's right, that's my name!' or people would ask me to inroduce myself and I'd say 'I'm Pink' and they'd be like 'I can see that, but what's your name?' and then I'd say 'My name's Pink' and they'd ask 'How can a name have a colour?' and it would be the best prank EVER!"

"A-heh-heh." said Rainbow Dash, nervously. "I... don't think it'll work out all that well, Pinkie. I mean, what would all your friends call you?"

"Oh, people could still call me Pinkie." said Pinkie Pie. "That makes it even better! People wouldn't have to call me anything at all different!"

Rainbow sighed. "Pinkie, meet Spectrum Slash. Spectrum Slash, meet Pinkie."

"Does she ever stop talking?" asked Spectrum, poking Pinkie's snout with a hoof.

"Beep!" said Pinkie, and giggled. "Of course I stop talking sometimes, silly! I don't talk if I'm asleep, or if I'm listening to a story, or if I'm testing the school bell, or if I'm watching a play - well, not much, at least - or if I'm -"

Rainbow stretched out one forelimb and put a hoof over Pinkie's mouth.

"Or if she's got a hoof over her mouth." said Rainbow.

"Really?" asked Spectrum Slash. "Can I try?"

"Um... sure, I guess..." Rainbow removed her hoof from Pinkie's mouth.

Pinkie took a deeeeeep breath. "Do you -"

Spectrum put her hoof over Pinkie's mouth. After a moment, she removed it.

"That wasn't -"

Once again. Spectrum interrupted Pinkie with a hoof placed over her mouth.

"Would you -"

A third time, Spectrum Slash placed her hoof over Pinkie's mouth. Pinkie frowned at the rainbow pony.

"This is surprisingly fun!" said Spectrum Slash. "Does she explode if she can't get the words out?"

"STOP THAT!" yelled Pinkie. the force of the shout pushing Spectrum Slash back a few paces.

~~~~~

"That's your emergency plan for if Spectrum Slash is ever unavailable?" asked Discord, flatly. "Giant sheds with piles of food in them?"

"That's right, Good Discord!" said Celestia, brightly. "We keep spare food in Keeps! It was Spectrum Slash's idea!"

Discord rolled his eyes. He'd been doing that so often lately, he'd added special eye-rolling muscles to his face, allowing him to roll his eyes twice as far and four times as quickly. "Of course it was."

"Of course, we've never needed to use them, because Spectrum Slash is just that awesome!"

"And just how long ago did you build these 'keeps'?" asked Discord.

"About twenty years ago, Good Discord! We started ten minutes after Spectrum Slash was born."

Discord considered this, then said "Didn't you say that it was all Spectrum Slash's idea?"

Celestia nodded. "That's right, Good Discord!"

"Hmph." said Discord. "Precocious foal. And... did you put any kind of preservation spells on these 'keeps'?"

"No!" said Celestia, brightly.

"And... you built them where?"

"Out in the desert, where they'd be out of the way." said Celestia. "That was also Spectrum Slash's idea."

"And... are you doing anything to keep it cold?"

"Not a thing, Good Discord!"

"And... when exactly did you put the food into these 'keeps'?"

"As soon as we built them, of course! Then we shut the doors and left them alone, until such time as we might need them!"

"Did you... lock the doors?"

"Now, why would we do that, Good Discord?"

Comments

[CCC]

5217593
5217886
5217903

I am glad you approve!

5217876

*scribbles down notes*

I do not expect this story to become significantly more sane than it currently is at any point.

5218250

Unfortunately, this story will be more-or-less following Spectrum for quite some time still. You can expect a fair helping of further stupidity from her.

5218409

No.

That scene with Daring Do that Twilight read out in the first chapter is about as close as it gets; lots of ponies are attracted to Spectrum Slash, but she has never yet met one that is awesome enough for her.

That sort of awkward is not a place that I intend to go. Rather, I intend to work on a completely different sort of awkward. Several completely different sorts of awkward...

5218497

That, or Discord is faking it. Very convincingly. Anyhow, have some more!

[SageBrony07]

Awesome story. I cant' stop laughing. I hope Discord screws over Spectrums world. That would be funny. Also it would be funny if Discord took Twi and the other girls that Rainbow has visited and they started to fix Spectrum's world. So when she returns, she isn't as awesome as she once was. By the way, you should include a spin off of Rainbow's crush. Put either Soarin or Thunderlane as a crush of Rainbow dash's and then have Spectrum flirt with them. And have Spectrum say, you like be because I'm awesome and then Dash has to get Spectrum away from her crush before she ruins it. Just some suggestions. Good luck with the next chapter.

[I_am_catkid]

GAH HA HA

[FanOfMostEverything]

Hmm. Thinking about it, the food in the Keeps may still be good. If Dash didn't bother to include flavor, then she likely didn't include putrefaction either.

Also, Pinkie only allows hooves to stop her speech out of good sportsmanship. Good to know.

This is only going to get stranger, isn't it?

[horizon]

I'm with 5224445: the most pernicious thing about Marey Sues is how the universe warps itself around them. To heck with logic — Spectrum Slash suggested it, so it actually works, because otherwise she would be … wrong.

[Alex Warlorn]

"What is a country?"

HOLD ON! Didn't Slash say how a villain threatening all of Equestria is how tea parties ended? THEN HOW THE HECK DOES SHE NOT KNOW WHAT A COUNTRY IS?!?!

"You're this universe's version of Pink. Only you talk more."

I see.

Technically, Good Celestia has a point, this place is running on THEIR world's rules. So of course the food won't have gone bad or been stolen.

[CCC]

HOLD ON! Didn't Slash say how a villain threatening all of Equestria is how tea parties ended? THEN HOW THE HECK DOES SHE NOT KNOW WHAT A COUNTRY IS?!?!

In her universe, "Equestria" is the planet.