Truth
"It can't be happening!" insisted Twilight. "Look, it's just words on paper. Discord's writing this to mess with us. It's the only reasonable explanation!"
"It doesn't quite seem to fit, darling," said Rarity. "I mean, can you imagine Discord writing something like this? As opposed to, say, a heartfelt treatise on why making Ponyville the chaos capital of the world is such a great idea?"
"...huh," said Twilight. "But - look, Discord delights in being unpredictable. Of course he wouldn't do what ponies expect him to do! And the idea that there is a world inside each and every work of fiction is completely and utterly absurd in any case!"
"Hush, darling, I want to see what he asks the other Celestia..."
~~~~~
"Why don't we start with a simple question?" mused Discord.
"Depending on the question," said Celestia, staring down at her own traitorous muzzle, "you might find out more with a complex question and also there are some things that I really really really don't want to think about..."
Discord sighed. "This is going to hurt, I'm afraid," he apologised. "You can't lie to me right now, but you also can't lie to yourself. And as much as I appreciate the chaos of cognitive dissonance, I really do need to be sure of what's going on here. So... are things really better now than they were before Spectrum Slash was born?"
Celestia looked paniced. "They have -" she began. "They - I - I have to think so, because every time I don't, then bad things happen!"
"Question withdrawn," said Discord, quickly. "Now... what were things like, before Spectrum Slash was born?"
"...Equestria was peaceful," said Celestia. "Harmonious. Every pony had their part to play, and every pony played that part. There were giant monsters... but we dealt with them. Together. In harmony. The weather - the pegasi all looked after the weather. Together. The Earth ponies took care of the farmlands. And they could. Together."
"Mmmmm." Discord nodded. "And what's it like now?"
"Spectrum Slash does everything. Spectrum Slash has to... if anypony else tries..." Celestia started sobbing again. "The first time it hurts, the second time it kills..."
"And the third time?" asked Discord, again. "What happens to those who try it a third time? I can't believe nopony would - I mean, surely the other me, at least..."
Celestia wailed, a heartwrenching scream of despair. "They dieeeeeeeeeee!"
Discord blinked. "What?"
"Inside their heads and then there's nopony there but the body keeps moving and all they ever talk about is how great Spectrum Slash is and my student my sister half the population of Equestria are mindless constructs that just look like who they used to be!"
"...ah," said Discord. "No more experiments, then."
~~~~~
"I wonder what happens if we write in it?" asked Rarity.
Twilight waved a hoof irritably. "Do what you want," she said, "but you're really just encouraging Discord if you do."
"He does seem to be in quite a spot of bother, darling," said Rarity, lifting a quill. "Let me see, what shall I - ah, yes, that should be perfect..."
~~~~~
Quite suddenly, an elegant white mare in a brilliantly designed white-and-gold dress inlaid with emeralds trotted up to Discord and Celestia. She was carrying a large tub of triple fudge ripple ice-cream, the sort with a sweet taste that melts on the tongue, absolutely perfect for a mare undergoing a crisis; it was still cold enough that frost was visible on the outside of the tub.
"Hello!" said Discord. "Where did you come from?"
"I - I'm not sure," said Fashion White.
~~~~~
"Fashion White!" snorted Rarity. "Honestly!"
~~~~~
"I was just waiting in the bushes to jump out at some unsuspecting pegasus and force her into a lame dress -"
~~~~~
"Well, I never! I will not stand for that!"
Rarity quickly began writing again.
~~~~~
" - when I decided never to ever do that again." said Fashion White. "Also, my name is ridiculous and I should change it."
"Rarity?" asked Discord. "Is that you?"
"Rarity is an absolutely wonderful name," said Fashion White, primly.
"This - has - flavour," said Celestia, eating a spoonful of the triple fudge ripple. "It has flavour but it's not poisonous! And, and -" She looked up at Fashion White. "You're not speaking in a monotone anymore!"
~~~~~
"And why shouldn't ponies be able to solve their own problems?" asked Rainbow Dash, standing on a cloud well above Ponyville.
"Because they can't!" insisted Spectrum Slash. "Ponies can't do anything! I have to do everything! All the time!"
"You are a pony!" yelled Rainbow.
"No, I'm NOT!" yelled Spectrum Slash.
"...what."
"Look - a pony, when they meet a hydra, they scream, fold their wings tightly to their side, and say 'I am scared'. Then I come and beat up the hydra, okay? Ponies can't beat up hydras! I can! Ponies need me to survive! I... I don't know what I am, and okay, I look like a pony, but I am NOT a pony!"
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i like what you're doing there
now i wonder what would happen if this fic were to create a universe as well
"What happens to those who try it a third time?
How can they try a third time if it kills the second time?
This is beginning to sound like a better written and less nihilistic version of Out.Of.Character.
And now it's Falker vs Dosssyelmir (Watch Princess Tutu!).
While Rarity's world might be full of insane love dramas, it'll still have more LIFE to it than RD's empty power fantasies.
I... I don't know what I am, and okay, I look like a pony, but I am NOT a pony!"
And now things come full circle. The thing most of these parodies forget.
Mary Sues, once someone ISN'T writing them as a straight-up power fantasy, one has to acknowledge them as a character themselves. Slash HAS TO DO everything, she HAS TO be the one who does everything, WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT! Otherwise she's suddenly no longer the CENTER OF ATTENTION!!!!
She has to keep putting on the show, because she's "JUST THAT AWESOME" with no end or breaks.
THE IRONY IS!!!!!!!!
RAINBOW DASH WROTE THAT SLASH'S AWESOMENESS WAS TOO DANGEROUS AND SHE HAD TO LEAVE THE UNIVERSE AND LEAVE ALL HER FRIENDS BEHIND!
READ THIS FANFIC!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/12047/1/the-marvelous-adventures-of-pinkie-pie-crasherdude-awesome-vs-mooncloud-shadowdancer/pinkie-vs-crasherdude-vs-mooncloud
I know Celly has an impish streak to her, an there ARE things she keeps secret, but she's not evil, and according to the rules of her world, only bad ponies lie.
I really like the vibe there at the end that Spectrum Slash isn't a malevolent reality-warper slash eldritch abomination.
In her twisted way she still thinks herself a hero and she's trying to do the right thing constantly, but she's just such a flawed creation by a creator that had no idea what they were doing that it all goes wrong.
6394403
I think Celestia mentioned that "it hits others". So I'm guessing it usually kills innocent by-standers instead of the one doing the, erm, "doing-ness".
6394348
Yes.
Spectrum Slash's universe evidently has its own set of rules, and I'd assume the universe would have to be consistent with these rules. (Or at least "try" to be as consistent as possible.)
Spectrum Slash is the most awesome character in the universe, solves everything, and is always the center of attention - therefore, no one else can ever do anything properly by themselves.
I love it when stories take a set of simple rules and then proceed to take it to the logical extreme, delving into all sorts of unexpected implications from that one premise.
Woah... is that... character-depth?
Now you've got me wondering what will become of Spectrum Slash by the end of the story.
I'm sort-of expecting that at some point, Spectrum Slash will be shown by others that having "all the awesomeness in the universe for oneself is not awesome"... which will probably create a paradox.
Either that, or Dash will tell her she's like a "sponge that sucks the awesomeness right out of everypony else", which sounds about the level of what she might understand.
And then Discord'll declare the "laws of physics" in Spectrum's universe as "evil" (which they clearly are) - and Spectrum Slash always wins against evil.
Oh my god, you're right!
I totally forgot about what I considered to be a meaningless throw-away gag at the time!
That is clever!
6394405
Huh! Now ain't that a tricky problem. Maybe Celestia doesn't outright lie, just ... never quite tell the whole truth, thus getting around that rule.
Or, what would be a more creative solution would be for her to constantly "reform herself" in her own mind ("I lied, but now I am a good pony again"), about every five minutes, thus getting around the rule.
Generally, it would be very interesting to see Discord and
Fashion WhiteRarity to exploit loop-holes in the rules of the universe to get around problems.All in all, aweso... err, very well-thought out story with a rare concept.
This is going straight to my "Fourth Wall"-list and getting subscribed to.
6394642
Agreed, Slash's last line hammered home that unlike most Mary Sue Parodies, she's not an evil parasite. She's naive. And her creator made her a shallow power fantasy. Her universe runs on the rule that she has to save everyone and do everything of value. Think about that for a second, you have to do everything of value or worth in the world.
And the 'dark force' that making the world suffer under these rules is RD herself.
I don't think every random sentence that is ink to paper creates a new universe. I think that the SPIRIT of creation that flows through the that creates a new universe.
....And I'm looking forward to Spectrum Slash's encounter with Scootaloo.
Scootaloo saying that Rainbow Dash is more awesome than her is gonna have an interesting result.
And so we come to the crux of the matter. In whatever passes for Spectrum Slash's mind, ponies are defined by their helplessness. That's how Dash has characterized the masses of that universe. How else would the one being capable of doing anything perceive herself? not necessarily better than the population, but certainly different.
I think the time has come to show Spectrum the story... assuming that that won't result in a massive negative space wedgie.
6395380
I'd be shocked if RD didn't think to put on an expy of Scootaloo in her story. Or a Gilda who never walked out on her, or a Lightning Dust who never let her drive to win make her cross the line.
6394403
It doesn't kill the person who tried it the second time. Rather, it kills somepony close to them. (It's worth noting that the universe is not particularly smart about that - Discord managed to trick it into "killing" his "favourite rock", for example).
Huh. Looks interesting.
...I've put it in my Read Later list.
6394405
Now, that's tricky. A good pony can still lie, to the extent of telling Pinkie that she's going to be looking after a cave for a bear who's on the beach playing seashells and collecting volleyball, in order to hide the upcoming surprise party. And even a bad pony can't lie about whether or not they are a good pony.
6394642
She's still a reality warper slash eldritch abomination, of course. Just not a malevolent one...
6395351
Yay!
Queen Majesty, "No dear, you don't give them psychology sessions or just toss far away so they come back and threaten your children with revenge. You turn them into bubbles and pop them, turn them into a portrait and paint over them, or you turn them into a tree."
AN UPDATE.
PRAISE THE SUN.
When's the next chapter out?
6680059
When it's written. Which is, um... Real Soon Now.
This story was getting good.
At least it's making RD face her bad writing in the face.
Didn't anyone tell RD that the ponies of old BLEW UP their bad guys? Not just banish them?
6681886
Pardon me for butting in, but I'm pretty sure there's a trademark dispute over the words "Real Soon Now". I think CCP Games is one of the primary contenders these days, but it's been a while since I looked into it. :)
Seriously though, I'm quite anxious to read what happens next.
Will this be continued? Please say it will.
7190386
The intention is that it will.
...Real Soon Now. I may have got a bit distracted with other stuff, but rest assured that if I ever stop intending to continue it, I will mark it as either "hiatus" or "cancelled".
7193061
You should read the Ensign Sue trilogy webcomic. I think it has some great insight (including the basic writer mistakes we ALL MAKE... that it isn't a characters' abilities or exploits that make the character interesting, it's the character's personalities and growth. Even SUPERMAN, what makes him interesting is Clark Kent, and that he's basically a glorified immigrant. And ironically his no kill rule has become a BIGGER part of his character as other heroes turn more dark. Heck, one Legion of Superheroes comic had Superman vote AGAINST expelling a hero (Star Kid) for killing someone since he recognizes that not everyone is going to be in a position where NOT killing someone is an option, as Superman, he has the power TO avoid killing 99.99% of the time. It's not inability to kill, but REFUSAL to kill. )
Pity the story just... stopped.
can i just say i love this? it's hilarious! and poor Discord, having to be the "reasonable" one....
7193061
Soooooo...
It's been two years...
Gonna continue?
8939400
That's what I want to know too.
Why was this story never concluded?
11404307
It's a shame the story just ... stopped.
7193112
Yes Superman is the best! Also do you happen to know the spefic comic your talking about? Id love to read and cant seem to find it after googling.
11404314
Sadly I can't even remember it.
11404309
Yeah. I was really enjoying