Revelations BOOK 1: A Night To Remember - Pipsqueak

by VGI

Chapter 1: Pipsqueak - 5 minutes till Opening Curtain

Author's Note:

All music that this fic is linked to are “approximations” of how the music would sound like if this was indeed a real photo-play. What is important is to NOT take the music literally, but to FEEL and IMAGINE what the music makes you feel and imagine when you watch and listen to it in accordance to what is written in the story.

Also, if you chose to bypass watching the music in YouTube, you will go through the story faster, but you risk not getting certain details in the story. So, bypass at your own risk.

BOOK 1

Revelations - Pipsqueak

A Night To Remember

by VGI

edited by Mint Vanilla

Chapter 1: Pipsqueak

5 minutes till Opening Curtain

“Ding-dong-ding! The performance is about to begin in 5 minutes. The performance is about to begin in 5 minutes. Ding-dong-ding!”

Wow, fancy announcement, with chimes!

“Come now Pip dear, we have to get to our...Pipsqueak?”

So this is Canterlot Cultural Center...Gosh! So many ponies! Rich folk, nobles all dressed up fancy talking with each other in a courtly manner, mares with glittering jewelry...And look at all these dignitaries! Have you ever seen such ponies dressed in...uh...those aren't Equestrian fashion. Definitely not like the ones Sweetie Belle's sister makes. Sweetie Belle said her sister Rarity would be here along with the rest of the Ponies of Harmony. I don't see her or them. It would be nice to see somepony from back home. All these fancy rich folk and nobles...oh I hope me and Mum look fancy enough.

Oh wow, look at that stallion's hat! So tall that one! That mare's hat looks like a giant fan! Hey, look at that mare with the big earrings! They look downright daffadown dilly, but Mum said these ponies are special to Equestria.

“Hey Mum, are these ponies from Canterlot?”

“No dear, some are not even from Equestria!”

Wow? Ponies from outside the nation? I...I didn't know that. Did you?

This place is sooo big! Fancy marble floor, so many floors up high and so many important-looking ponies even up the topmost lofts, magnificent grand winding staircases to the right of the foyer...and modern escalators on the far left side of the foyer. Indoor potted...trees?! Indoor potted flowering trees. Only these potted ones look tame and pruned. Fancy Crystal Empire Chandeliers hanging in mid-air...My word! OH WOW GRYPHONS!

“MUM MUM GRYPHONS!”

“Hush Pip! And don't point, dear!”

Oops! Oh yikes...oh eeek! A lot of ponies are now looking at me. And the gryphons too.

“Yes, they are gryphons. Delegates from the Gryphon Kingdom.”

Sorry for shouting, now please look away from me...even those up in the upper floors are looking down at me...just gotta stick close to Mum.

“Sorry Mum, for shouting.”

“Now now Pip, don't be too hard on yourself, dearie. You are still a child after all. But remember, you must be on your best behavior. Princess Luna is somewhere here don'tcha know?”

Oh, that's right, I almost forgot. Princess Luna is here! But where is she?

“Mum, where is she? Where's Princess Luna? I don't even see Princess Twilight.”

“They must be somewhere mingling among the dignitaries, darling. Come now, we must get to our seats.”

Aww shucks.

Comments

[zalla661]

Cute little Pip. I guess he's the kind of pony to like anything or anybody new to him. Such wonder and curiosity. Makes sense he'd like Luna. A quick thing i noticed. Thoughts are typically in italics or bracketed. [Thoughts.] It makes it easier to tell if it's a narration of the character or a thought they think.

If you do a narration as the character was thinking it you should do something along the lines of: As I walked down the large groups of well dressed ponies I saw, for the first time, a group of well dressed griffons.

Or if it's him thinking you could do either:

Indoor potted flowering trees. Only these potted ones look tame and pruned. Fancy Crystal Empire Chandeliers hanging in mid-air...My word! OH WOW GRYPHONS!

or

[Indoor potted flowering trees. Only these potted ones look tame and pruned. Fancy Crystal Empire Chandeliers hanging in mid-air...My word! OH WOW GRYPHONS!]

Other than that a good short start to the story so far. I'm liking it so far. keep up the innocence Pip!

[Tai Ichi]

I love how you could capture the curiosity of a child. Really well done