Make-Believe at it's Finest
"Charges are set! Clear out!" Big Boom shouted, waiting as the ponies ahead of him rushed for the mine's exit. The foreman at the front counted each head as they passed by, finally stopping with Big Boom and nodding. "That's everypony."
Big Boom uncoiled the last of the wire attached to charges placed deep within the mine and took cover with the rest of the ponies. "Set one! Here we go!" Grinning for the love of his job, he shoved the plunger down and winced as a muffled blast erupted deep within the mountain. A large waft of dust and earth rocketed out of the mine entrance, followed by cheers from the mining crew.
"Listen up! That last blast will take us to the heart of the mountain, everything inside that rich ground will keep us-" The foreman pony had to reassure his footing as the ground shook.
"Shaft's collapsing!" somepony quickly shouted.
But that's impossible! The charges were only enough to blast non-essential rock out of the way, nothing could've happened with the integrity of the tunnel as it was-unless they hit a fissure that is. "Clear out! Get away from the mine!" He shouted, ponies scattered as a second wave of dust and smoke pushed out of the tunnel.
The explosions before now were hardly more than tremors to the sleeping dragon, higher up inside the mountain. The last one however, cracked the ground beneath his piles of gold and gems, causing them to fall through cracks in the rock like water down a drain. The few seconds of horror that was the dragon watching decades worth of tributes, plundered riches, fights, and raids disappearing were terrifying to him. He immediately raked one arm across the ground, trying to scoop it all up in the other. Overhead, rock started to drop down, filling the air with dust and making it hard to see. Before he could save any more of his treasure, a chunk of a boulder slammed into his back, then another, and another. Every second he tried to save another bit, the more he was forced to realize that the cave was collapsing. Channeling his greed into survival, the dragon rushed to the edge of his cave, forcing the stones he laid there years ago to hide his cave from being discovered away. The dragon watched as the last of his cave gave away to falling rubble, filling in the hole as if it were never there to begin with.
An arm full of gold and a ring caught on his tooth was all the dragon had left as the final rock tumbled into place at what was the entrance to his old den. Anger turned to rage, rage turned to fury, boiling his blood and forcing smoke to come pouring from his nostrils, he roared. The miner ponies farther down the mountain looked up and saw the dragon in full view, red and brown scales, with a patch of yellow running from his chin down his stomach. The dragon looked down and saw the ponies on his mountain. "That was my gold! That was my cave! These are my rocks! These are my trees! This is my mountain! IT IS MINE!" Ponies were already sprinting away the moment it was clear they woke a dragon from its nest.
"Hiiii-ya! Rah! Grrrrah!" Fireside Chat grunted, swishing his wooden sword through the air. "And...I slay thee!" he said, thrusting out with the point. With his ears sticking out through his makeshift helmet, they caught a trace of an explosion far off in the distance, echoing down over the forest and sparking enough interest for Fireside to turn his head to catch the billowing smoke from the mine, along with the jets of fire that engulfed the upper half of the mountain. "Cool."
Any cover from the flames was hardly cover at all, the heat alone was enough to tempt ponies to run. It was only when the shadow of the dragon itself passed over head, pulling enough wind in his wings to quell the flames long enough for the miners to make a desperate sprint towards more suitable cover.
Of the twenty five miners, four were unicorns, two were able to teleport, but only one could make the jump with somepony else. Horn radiating heat, on the verge of burnout, Iron Chain winced after looking back up the mountain, fully aware of the ten ponies around him urging to give it one more go. Panting, Iron Chain yelled in an attempt to shout through the pain as he disappeared again, exploding out of the ether twenty feet away as trees around him were knocked down in the blast.
The noise was enough to draw the attention of the dragon, eyes bearing down on the ground below him and the pony lying unconscious on the ground. The miners scrambled to reach Iron Chain, heaving him over their backs like a sandbag and sprinting farther down hill. The flap of the dragons wings made the miners scream as the noise came closer and closer, growing louder with each second. When they could hear the dragon inhale, the noise was more frightening to the older miners who feared gas leaks more than anything else. "He's diving!"
The jet of dragon fire singed the ground black as ponies took cover, hastily glancing to the skies as the dragon climbed upwards again. Safety from this terrible nightmare was half a mile away, back in Mountview where most structures could be either a blessing if they were left alone, or a curse if the dragon decided to set fire to them. The more popular option that the miners took to was fleeing into the darkness of the forest, where tight groupings of trees would make it difficult for the dragon to see the ponies below. It would be even harder for the dragon to dive thanks to all the branches blocking his view- hypothetically speaking of course.
The last of the miners sprinted for the treeline, adrenalin giving them no reason to fatigue as the sound of the dragon's wings flapping through the air started to grow louder again. Those who were running for their lives never heard the two loud smacks that nearly paralyzed the dragon's wings as two Wonderbolts slammed into the base of his wings simultaneously. The dragon roared as a third and fourth Wonderbolt grabbed his tail, bending it up towards his back, when finally a fifth came down from above and hit the top of his snout. Unable to fly, unable to steer, and nose hurting, the dragon was on a collision course with the ground. His rage only grew as the Wonderbolts leapt free of him at the last moment, causing him to crash while the team of pegasus started pounding their wings up towards the clouds.
Miners cheered, but the dragon' mind was split in all directions, wanting to yell and scream for what they did to his treasure horde, roast them whole and shred them apart to make pulled-pony sandwiches-the winged ones he would batter-dip and fry in lava for the little stunt they just pulled by attacking him.
"Fifty years!" he shouted, pushing off the ground his his claws and charging after the Pegasus.
All the clouds in the area were pushed into one large blob, growing thicker and darker with every bit added to it.
"He's coming!" Whistler yelled, diving into a cloud bank.
"Get ready! Move those clouds now!" Wind Chill ordered, watching the dragon drive straight for them as the last of the clouds were moved into place. Three Wonderbolts shoved the final cloud down, completely obscuring them from view.
The dragon darted straight into the cloud, a lung full of air ready to scorch the cowardly Pegasus when metal strands wrapped around his throat, next his wings were snapped to his side, a net hidden inside the cloud wrapped around his entire body before he could even struggle- when he did, the chords dug into his scales and tightened its grip.
"Enough!" Wind Chill ordered, stepping right up to the dragon. "Are the spikes tight? What happened back there? What caused you to be enraged?"
Two Wonderbolts carefully freed his snout, pausing at Wind Chill's command. "Ah- Are you willing to speak to us without resorting to violence?" Jets of black smoke freely flowed from the dragon's nostrils, snorting once, flames brushed past Wind Chill but didn't do anything to make him jump.
"The ponies down there are scared, they will say you tried to kill them. From what I saw, it looked like you almost did. I don't have an injured count yet, but I know that this kind of rage couldn't of been for no reason. You said 'Fifty years,' fifty years of what? What's your name?" Wind Chill gave the nod to free the rest of his mouth so he could speak.
"Ashen Remains, you foul pony with wings! The ponies caused my nest, my gold to be lost to the depths of the mountain because of their incessant blasting! Fifty years of gathering! Fifty years of tribute all lost. It was mine!" Ashen shot, although his jaw could barely move enough to form the words, the depth of his voice was still intimidating to hear. As Ashen spoke, his hide grew an extra foot in length. The change didn't go unnoticed by Wind Chill as he tried to calm the Ashen down.
"Alright, alright. Don't worry, we're going to fix this. You'll get your gold back so long as you remain calm. So, the ponies, the miners, they set charges and the explosion set of a chain reaction which destroyed your cave? You... were probably sleeping, am I right? Listen, I need to know how long you've been asleep. What was the last event you can remember before you went to sleep?"
Ashen struggled against the net, but only to be more comfortable. "The moon blocked the morning sun, the ring of fire surrounding the moon remained for the entire day and made the stars shine brighter at night."
"Morning sun, eclipse lasting all day, alright, so the Centennial. How long after that did you go to your cave?"
"I took the courage of the moon as a sign to finally leave this land as it was born- in fire. After the fires stopped burning, I watched the lands I owned disappear, when all that remained was ash." Ashen growled.
Wind Chill turned away, an unsure frown made it difficult for him to continue. Sighing, "The Dragon Nation since then-" Ashen raised an eye to the words 'Dragon Nation', "Since then, certain treaties and laws have been made- a mage from the mining operation was suppose to conduct an examination for sentient hibernating life forms like yourself. Now it comes down to nit-picking. Did the mage find you? Was the mine physically far enough away from your lair so as to not cause any interference? Was the mountain itself physically unstable? I don't know. There is going to be a big investigation into this matter, the last thing the Sisters and the Dragon Nation want is to find out that one overlooked protocol caused a dragon to lose his hoard. However, that last comment, it sounds like you decided to leave your lands with a little gift before hibernating-that will reflect in the recovery of your gold."
"How so?" Ashen bared his fangs, tacking on an extra meter without hesitation. "The Dragon Nation doesn't want to deal with renegades who decide to burn villages to the ground as a parting gift. Ponies don't want to deal with those types either."
Wind Chill stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a 'ping' of metal. Wind Chill and the Wonderbolts all tensed when they saw one of the enchanted spikes sail through the air, free from it's mooring in the cloud and wrap around Ashen once where it finally drove straight through the left wing and into his side. Ashen screamed, fire erupting from his mouth just before Wind Chill jumped clear. Then the next spike flailed about, and suddenly there were pinging noises echoing through the air as Ashen Remains dropped out of sight, still tightly wrapped up in the net.
"Emergency Protocol CV*! Dive, Dive, dive, dive, dive!" All the Wonderbolts dove after Ashen, not wanting the death of a dragon to be on their heads.
Ashen felt the loss of his freedom the moment he first ran into the net. He felt like a slave, trapped and unable to move. As he fell through the air, the blame of what was soon to be his death resided on the blasted flying ponies. Unable to move anything besides his jaw, he forced the furnaces within his chest to burn, heating his core from the outside in. His very fire flowed like lava from his mouth, letting it roll down his neck to burn away the enchanted coils. Wind rushed by him as he picked up speed. Twisting his neck towards his wings, he felt the molten liquid melt the net and bind into his scales. When the Wonderbolts reached Ashen, he recoiled and roared again, louder, angrier, sending balls of fire through the air and towards the pegasus. Ashen struggled fiercely, forcing one wing free as he tried to thrash the other loose, despite the pain of the bolt pinning the wing to his side. Locking the freed wing out, Ashen fell into a quick spiral when finally wrenched his tail out of the net, putting him at an awkward glide that still didn't put him any closer to landing safely.
The Wonderbolts expected Ashen to resist, even shoot off dozens of flames, but when they tried to fly in close to grab the flailing coils and bolts, they did not realize how hot the metal had become. The intense heat instantly burned their hooves, forcing them to drop the net with Ashen rapidly falling towards the ground when they all saw how quickly gravity had worked in bringing the dragon back down.
Fireside Chat saw the whole thing from his front lawn, the toy sword hanging limply from his weak grip as all his attention was on the red and black dragon coming right at him. At first he was unsure if the dragon would actually pull up, even when it was clear that Ashen couldn't. Instinct and fear suddenly kicking in, Fireside dropped his sword and ran screaming into his house, slamming the door shut and locking it.
Ashen's impact didn't leave much for damage control to fix, practically colliding with the ground at a 70 degree angle in Fireside's front lawn. Plowing the dirt and pathway up to his front door where Ashen's snout knocked against the wood. The dragon didn't feel the tiny sword left on the ground drive into his weakened scales after impact, most of his senses were still screaming in pain. He didn't even notice that it slipped between his ribs and pierce his heart. Breathing felt stunted, his throat partially blocked by the excess fire dripping through his teeth and onto the ground.
Fireside pulled the grate to his helmet down, flinging the door open, screaming at the sight, and slamming it shut. Ashen felt his body roll to the side when he finally looked down and saw the tiny hilt buried right where it shouldn't of been. There was a dull tone deafening his ears, but there were pounding of hooves running up and down stairs. The door was flung open again and a bucket of water was splashed onto his face.
"Mr. Dragon! You...you...are you dead?"
Ashen exhaled a long winded sigh, coughing, "I will be."
"What happened?"
"Ponies lost my gold, I was angry." wisps of steam were billowing off Ashen's body, reeking of sulfur.
Fireside clenched his nose shut, "That would make me angry too! Frizz lost my favorite sword! I said 'Frizz, don't lose my favorite sword! It's my favorite. But then the next time I see him I ask him, 'Frizz, where's my favorite sword?' and he said 'I dunno, I lost it.' and I was like 'but I told you not to lose it!'"
"Silence, pony, let me die quietly."
"How did they lose it?"
"I said, SI-" Unable to yell, his chest lurched forward as his breath was cut off by rising fluid that pushed upwards from his lungs and to his mouth. Ashen coughed deeply, feeling the bitter taste of blood on the back of his tongue. The great furnaces in his chest that created fire, once able to burn with enough intensity to melt through rock suddenly felt ice cold as each breath felt harder and harder to pull in.
"They tunneled beneath me, an explosion destroyed my cave." Ashen said quietly, swallowing, he let his dwindling focus rest on the small pony.
"They blew up your home!? That's not nice! What did you ever do to them? Were you sleeping? Dragons sleep alot right? I get really cranky when I woken up, but whoa, dynamite for an alarm clock? No thanks! Well, you were just about to destroy my house, but you were 'this' close." Fireside Chat said, looking from the tip of Ashen's nose to his front door- Ashen's left wing was bent forward, scraping the front bay window of Fireside's house.
"If only..." Ashen said, wanting his last moments to be quiet so he could contemplate the entirety of his life in just a few, short seconds. Dropping his head to the ground, a few seconds to a dragon would be all Ashen needed.
"If only, what? You know, I had another sword that was right here on the ground when you kinda crashed into my mom and dad's lawn...but...I think they might be okay when they see a dragon landed on it. Oh, hey, my sword." Fireside said, crawling over Ashen's snout and around the shredded remains of the net. "Hey! It's in the heart! Oh...did I...slay you?"
"Yes."
"Oh, okay."
Fireside Chat positioned himself above the hilt, wrapping both hooves around the grip and pulling. Ashen roared, sending a jet of flame through the front door and out the back.
"Hey, kid! Get away from him!" Wind Chill shouted, watching the colt stand on Ashen's chest.
"Maybe I gotta wiggle it, it's kind of tight. Is your chest made of stone? Is that how they got the sword in the stone in the first place? By dropping a rock on it? Maybe I gotta push it in, and then pull it out really fast, Mr. Dragon."
'Mr. Dragon' wasn't moving anymore, all of his muscles started to relax- Fireside felt the tension holding his sword in lessen, prompting him to push the hilt down, wiggle and pull one more time as the sword popped free.
Wind Chill was in a dive bomb until he saw Ashen give one more shot, and Fireside Chat pull his sword free and tumble backwards off the dragon's chest.
"EWwwww! I got blood all over my hooves and sword." Fireside said, shaking his hooves and giving his sword a flick.
"Kid, what did you just do?" Wind Chill asked, dropping to the ground, Fireside looked up, surprised to see somepony watching him.
"I...uh...slayed the...dragon?"
Wind Chill glanced down at Fireside's flank, his breath was sucked out of him like a vortex when he saw what it was.
"Kid...how long ago did you get your cutie mark?" Wind Chill listed off all the possible deities he could pray to in his head, whether they were pony or not, and hoped that this colt didn't just get his cutie mark.
Fireside tilted his head at Wind Chill, his response of "huh?" was enough to make Wind Chill tremble as the rest of the Wonderbolts landed next to him.
Fireside looked back at his flank, pure joy flooding his mind as he saw the dragon head cutie mark with it's tongue sticking out.
"I got my cutie mark!" Fireside shouted.
Wind Chill was a snow white pegasus, but the sight of a dragon-slayer cutie mark pony made him pale. Shuddering, he tried to form the words to explain how many cans of worms Fireside opened up, but couldn't bring anything tangible to mind. All he could do was slowly drop to the ground and breathe deeply as Fireside danced around, showing his cutie mark to the rest of his team that quickly appeared to their captain's side.
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Nice!!!!!!!!!!!
I see potential.
Jeez I sound like a prick..
...The character tags are telling me that this isn't going to end well for a certain someone. I can't wait to see how the story unfolds.
Let me tell you what you are going to do: You are going to write more of this. Great Story!
5177493 Probably also not well for someone who will do something to a certain someone.
Well, the tags are misleading. Firstly, Ashen's desperation as his hoard leaks away could have been used for some vaguely mean-spirited humor, yet it isn't, and you seem to have put very little effort into conveying the loss of his possessions. Secondly, the leap in logic by your young and stupid protagonist is so moronic that this could only be a comedy - to say nothing of the absurdity of Ashen's death - yet it's labeled an adventure story.
On the technical side of things, your sentence construction is pretty awful at times. You also spent a little too much time randomly shifting over to the fleeing miners and describing what they were doing after Ashen spotted them. The transitions were jarring, and their actions unimportant. Ashen is the one carrying the story at that point, so only his actions deserved any focus.
And then there's that big metal net hidden in the clouds. How did it get there? Did the Wonderbolts fly it there in less than two minutes? If it was already there, ready for Ashen in case he got out of control, then why didn't the miners know he was living there? It's a good way to restrain a dragon, but its presence makes very little sense.
I'm not sure about this.
5177493 If it devolves from comical hijinks into serious violence, there will be legal trouble for the dumb kid's family. Hopefully after he gets a solid beating from the victim's.
I like this. Gonna keep an eye on it.
Kewl little dragon slayer.
5177781
You are so right, I was jumping all over the place and this chapter got away from me while I was writing it.
Truth be told, I never intended to even write this intro chapter, but about two months ago when I had the idea for a dragon slayer to show up in Ponyville-for my own sake-I felt that I needed to write down Fireside's backstory as to how he originally received his cutie mark just so I could refer back to it while actually writing the main portion of the story. For Ashen to die on Fireside's front lawn was suppose to be moronic (this was my original intention, but in the process of writing this, the identity of the story started flipping back and forth between adventurous and dark/comedic).
I admit I wasn't thinking of Ashen's actions as a whole, my thought process was focusing on the miners reaction's and trying to have the reader be a witness to all of this chaos of a dragon attack from a perspective of someone on the ground.
Looking back, I should've made it clearer that enough time had passed for someone to report the dragon and have the Wonderbolts fly in with their net in tow, ready to systematically take down Ashen. However, I will defend myself on the point that I didn't specifically state whether or not the miners knew about the Ashen before the explosion.
Thanks for the critique, I'll keep working on sentence structure and transition- hopefully I can win you over when I post my next chapter and do some editing on the first chapter as well.
Well holy shat. That's one way to get your cutie mark
Sheesh, don't let the CMC hear that, or Spike might not last long enough for Fireside to reach him.
Can't wait for the next chapters! Also I always pronounced W "Doubla-vair" (sort of rhymes with 'hair') when I was taking French in school. Like your explanation of it at the end.
5179133
Ha! Love the comment
Here's a mock teaser to hold you over.
"Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo, and Applebloom all switched from glancing at their blank flanks to intensely staring at Spike. 'Girls...what...why are you looking at me like that?' he asked, slowly taking a cautious step away from the three of them."
5179162
Glad you liked my comment. NOW FORK OVER THE NEXT CHAPTER
Kidding! Honest
Though that teaser is pretty teasing
An interesting premise told in a satirical style. I truly hope that you do continue this someday.