thanks

k

pretty good

I wanna let you know, I appreciate and like this and you should totally keep doing it.

okay that was good. considering that i barely know anything about them (aside from being villains in the up coming eq girls 2), i enjoyed it still.

i guess i'll browse the net to know them more.. that way i'll be able to enjoy the coming chapters.

leaving a like and a fave :3

4962529
Yes, that's an anagram of my name

I liked it. The scene with Sonata was hot.

Besides the massive text wall in the sex scene, this was quite a good fic. Keep it up.

But do it fast, the clock is ticking, and in 3 weeks, the actual film will go out live in cinemas everywhere.

I hope to see an update soon.

By the way, there's an error in the long description.

The Dazzles

I think you mane the DazzLINGS.

I just wanted to point this out.

That last line just screams 'Uh oh'

4966737
Thanks for pointing that out, I changed it

Very nice! Thumbs up and faved.

4969349 And it's the same in the short description as well.

4968120

That''s essentially what I was going to say.

"But that is the problem with it," she says and grabs you by your shoulders.

Cue "Careless Whisper" by George Michael.

Im just gonna say this....... YOU PHONE! XD That is the best spelling error EVER I created this account just to get the word out NOW SOMEBODY MAKE ART OUT OF THAT

Very nice first chapter. That being said, there are several things you may want to edit.

"I go into the mens locker room during the football training and try to find something you can use to weaken their friendship," you recite her order to you.

"men's"

But as you open another char history you are in for a surprise.

I have no idea what this should be.

"I also found some things on Flash Sentrys phone. Do you want me to send you the pictures?" you ask her but her hand is already stretched out again.

"Sentry's", and there should be a comma between those two words.

Upon your entry, you take a look around for a table that you can sit on.

"at".

Ordering a hedgehog slice and two cups of hot chocolate, you take the tablet to her table.

Again, I have no idea what that should be.

I gave her some photos that I found on Flashes phone,

"Flash's"

"She couldn't keep this one thing for herself"

"to herself."

"Those are from Flashes phone. I did not set up nothing,"

"Flash's" and "anything", unless you want a double negative.

She let's go off from your belt and kisses you again.

"of"

Still in fear of revelation you look down the alley for any passers-bys.

"passersby".

Sonata pulls herself from you, keeping the lips presses against your member, dragging them along its length.

"pressed".

Sonatas breath begins to quicken and you can feel yourself coming close to an orgasm again.

And "Sonata's". I look forward to the next chapter.

Oooooh! Busted!