Deep in Whitetail Woods, nopony was around to see the sporadic flashes of light, or hear the acute metallic sound being made there. Something was happening that had never happened in Equestria before. Something was coming, and nopony was prepared.
Rainbow Dash yawned loudly as she began to stir in her bed. It was too early, much too early to be getting up now, but there was a weather disturbance near the edge of town that required her attention today. She had only gotten the message last night, and had decided to put it off until morning, so she could catch up on some much needed sleep.
"Oh great, those stupid rogue clouds have probably started raining all over Ponyville without me to break them up by now." she said aloud as she remembered the message she got last night.
Rainbow Dash rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to freshen up. She looked at herself in the mirror, and realized that her mane was in far better condition that it usually was in. Putting the brush back down she went downstairs to the kitchen, opened up the ice box, and just started to drink some juice straight from the bottle.
"Okay, I guess I had better head out now, those rogue clouds won't clear themselves."
When Rainbow arrived over Whitetail wood, she didn't spot any rogue clouds that were threatening the whether at all. "But... my boss has never been wrong!"
As Rainbow swooped lower beneath the leaves of the trees, turning her head left and right the try to spot where the clouds had gone, she collided into a very solid wall. Blinking the stars out of her eyes, she looked up to see what she had hit.
"What the... when did this thing get here?" As Rainbow observed the offending object, she saw that it was a round boulder, about three meters in diameter. It seemed to be made of stone, as the aching spot on her forehead told her about it, and strangest of all, it was perfectly spherical.
Rainbow reached out to touch it, and her hoof almost instantly slid right off of the sphere. She tried again, and her hoof slipped off it again.
"Whoa! This thing is smoother than Rarity's hoof after a day at the spa!" As Rainbow Dash continued to look at the sphere, her initial excitement was starting to ebb away, and was being replaced by another feeling. Her legs began to shake, and she quickly looked away from the stone, only to then feel annoyed.
"Hey pal, I can look at you all I want!" she yelled. Even before she realized how silly she must have looked yelling at a rock, she was overcome by that feeling again, and backed away a few steps.
"Well, I've got stuff to do anyways. Still need to find those rouge clouds around here." she thought as she turned away and left the boulder there, not even noticing the extra effort she put into her takeoff.
"Spike, have you seen my copy of Daring Do and the nexus of light?" Twilight called up the stairs.
"No need to yell Twilight, I'm right behind you. And yes, you left it an your bedside table."
Spike, looking groggier than ever this morning, made his way into the kitchen with his apron on to start breakfast, while Twilight went upstairs. As she grabbed her copy of Daring Do from her table, she quickly opened it to make sure she had marked the page.
"Oh no! I didn't mark the page! How will I find ou-" Twilight stopped her inner rant short as the wonderful scent of baked oak cakes wafted up from the kitchen. Compelled to follow the sweet sent of the cakes, she momentarily forgot about her book problems and realized how hungry she was.
As Twilight went downstairs, she saw Spike coming back upstairs, probably to catch up on the sleep he lost after staying up all of last night.
"Hey Spike, sorry I yelled at you before, I didn't know you were right there."
"It's no problem." said Spike as he discarded his apron into the hamper, "You didn't know I was behind you, no harm done."
"You really should be getting to bed by nine o'clock you know, A young dragon like you needs plenty of rest."
Spike looked back over at Twilight, his expression neutral. "I really don't need to be told that at this point, Twilight. Why do you think I'm going back to bed?"
Twilight blushed in spite of herself. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. You're much more mature now. I guess I'm still not used to it."
As Twilight went into the kitchen, she began eating her breakfast. When she was about halfway done, she heard somepony come in through the window.
Looking to see who would be so rude as to drop into her palace unannounced, she turned around to face the hallway, only to see her friend Rainbow Dash.
"Hey Rainbow, you do know it's more polite to knock at someone's door before going inside, right?"
Rainbow looked at the floor, a small blush appearing on her face. "I uh, I can't remember where the main door is to this place." she said with an embarrassed smirk on her face. "I figured I would just come in through the window."
"Well, rude intrusions aside, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
Rainbow began shifting her weight from side to side, looking nervous. "Do you know anything about perception altering magic?"
"Well, yes, I do know quite a bit about magic that can change the way somepony sees things, in fact, perception alteration is the key component in the Want it, Need it spell, which you were pulled under the influence of and-"
"Okay, okay, a simple "Yes" would have been good. I didn't need the play by play of what happened all those months ago."
"Well, why did you ask then? Did you want to learn more about magic?" said Twilight, looking hopeful.
"Twilight, I need you to come and see this thing I found in Whitetail Woods."
First attempt at fanfiction, eh? Alright, let me help you.
I can't judge this story too much yet, as it's only been one chapter. You've done alright, so far. Everypony was mostly in character, though there were a couple lines that didn't feel quite right. Try practicing writing certain characters by taking a blank page and just writing random lines the way you think that character would say, think, or do them.
Again, can't say too much about the plot since it's only been one chapter, but so far it seems pretty original. I'll see where it goes from here.
The main problem here is spelling and grammar. For example, it's "rogue," not "rouge." I suggest getting a spell-check program, or ideally, a proofreader.
Anyway, I'll be following for more. Hope this was helpful.
4884792
Thanks for the tips, I still have a lot to learn about writing I guess.
Phonex or dragon egg, I call it.
4884819
Not gonna spoil anything yet, but what I will say now is that I have omitted certain tags, since leaving them in would spoil the story too much.
4884832 The suspense just got real.
I haven't read it yet, but I'm getting a Doctor Who vibe since you said the sphere exudes wrongness.
4884912
I'm not sure what you're referring to, since I'm not a Dr. Who fan, but there is an explanation for the feeling that will be revealed later.
4884938 this wouldn't happen to be based on the book? Would it?
4885030
What book? I've never read a book called "The Sphere" before.
4885053 oh, there's a book by Michael Crichton called "Sphere"
4885059
I think I've read that one before. It just came out this year I think.
4885307 you sure about that? It was published in 1987, and i bought it for a nickel
4885312
Tada
4885322 oh.
4884938
Oh, okay.
The sphere in Doctor Who has no mass or dimensions until it opens.
4885344
Were you notified that I uploaded a second chapter? I ask because I know that it sometimes glitches and people aren't notified of updates.
"Oh no! I didn't mark the page! How will I find ou-" Twilight stopped her inner rant short as the wonderful scent of baked oak cakes wafted up from the kitchen. Compelled to follow the sweet sent of the cakes, she momentarily forgot about her book problems and realized how hungry she was.
Made from acorn flour I presume
5061436 Yeah, otherwise I never heard of ponies eating trees either...
"Appearance" is spelled with an "a," btw... (the chapter title has a mistake in it)
Short, but intriguing. I'll save my judgement until I've seen more of it.
That would be rogue.
That would be scent.
5061436
Very well could be. Acorn flour and acorn bread are real things. You do have to boil it, though; acorns are actually mildly toxic, and bread made from them will be bitter and give you a nasty stomach ache if you don't.
tyrantfarms.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Share-ImgAcorn-Flour1.png
i.pinimg.com/originals/4c/c8/71/4cc871a6468cb1a957d7e563fcd464f5.jpg