SWEETIE BELLE ACQUISITION PROGRAM
“Lyra, what are we going to do tonight?”
“The same thing we do every night, Bon-Bon: try to take over the world!”
It was a sunny day in Ponyville. Two mares, a green unicorn and a white earth pony with candy-colored mane, trotted through the marketplace. The unicorn was levitating a large box, containing a yarn of thread, a hammer, and a bag of sweets. The earth pony kept grabbing candy from the bag, which required standing on two hooves, and ate them.
“Bon-Bon, stop eating those sweets.”
“I can't resist,” answered Bon-Bon. “They're just too tasty! They also look so delicious, nopony could walk past them without eating some!”
“That is the reason I bought them,” explained Lyra. “They are an essential part of my plan. Speaking of which, have you received the package?”
“That huge one? It fell down from the air this morning. I signed some papers for that gray pegasus. I wanted to see what's inside, but I was too lazy to open it. Hey, how did you know I got a package? I didn't even order anything!”
“It's because I ordered it. I used your name to make harder for the government to track me.”
“Oh, it's again this robot stuff?” asked Bon-Bon.
Several ponies who were around turned their heads and looked at Lyra.
“Be quiet!” whispered the unicorn. “I don't hide from the Equestrian government to simply reveal everything to random ponies in the street!” Lyra stopped and peeked inside the bag. “Hey, you ate almost all candy!”
Bon-Bon smiled: “I'm sorry.”
Lyra put the box down and using her magic she wrapped the candy bag with the thread.
“Done. Now you'll stop eating. I need at least few ounces of these sweets for my plan to work.”
She picked the box back and they both trotted towards their house.
***
“So, what's inside?” asked Bon-Bon, examining closely the big box, which now stood in their basement.
“It's Taz, or Technicolor Automatic Zebra, model 42-U.”
Lyra dismantled the box and revealed a white life-sized model of a filly unicorn pony.
“Uhm, Lyra,” remarked Bon-Bon. “I think they've sent you the wrong stuff. It's a pony, not a zebra.”
“I know, Bon-Bon. Taz comes in many different sizes and shapes, it's just a historical fact that the first Tazes were zebra-shaped,” explained the unicorn.
The earth mare walked towards the model and gently prodded it with her left forehoof.
“Is it a sex toy? If it is, then I think it might be illeg–”
“It's not a sex toy!” yelled Lyra. “But it's even more illegal than any sex toys. Just look.”
The unicorn opened a smaller box that was inside the big box with the Taz, revealing various cables and instruments. She raised model's tail and inserted a plug into a socket that was there. Bon-Bon watched the whole situation with surprised look on her face.
“Are you sure it isn't–”
“Shut up!”
Lyra put the plug from the other end of the cable into a socket in the electricity generator.
“Power source connected, recharging,” suddenly said the model.
“Wow, it talks!” gasped Bon-Bon. “But are you really, really sure that it's not–”
“Bon-Bon! I have a little more work to do with this robot and you still didn't even start doing your part of plan! You only have one thing to do, do it now and let me work!”
The earth pony understood completely what Lyra meant and quietly trotted to another room.
“Initiate boot sequence,” said the unicorn.
“Booting. Welcome to Taz installation wizard. Insert the serial number to register your copy of Taz OS X, or say register later to continue the trial period. Trial period remaining: 90 days.”
“Register later.”
“Please wait as Taz OS X installer finds drivers for the hardware.” The robot stopped for a moment. “Drivers installed, but some devices were not recognized: an unknown Cutie Mark Emulation Device. Please download an appropriate driver and install it manually later. Would you like to input a personal name for this unit, is it a part of anonymous robotic army, can it choose a personal name for itself, or will it contain multiple personalities?”
“Input name: Sweetie Belle.”
“Chosen single named personality installation: Sweetie Bell. Is it correct?”
“No! Sweetie BELLE!”
“Chosen single named personality installation: Sweetie Bell. Is it correct?”
“Argh!”
“Unrecognized command.”
Lyra shook her head and went to a cabinet standing next to the wall. She opened it, pulled out a long cable and connected one end to the back of robot's head and the second one to the back of her own head. She didn't have to speak any more, but Taz kept giving audible feedback.
“Chosen single named personality installation: Sweetie Belle. Is it correct?”
“How would you like initialize memories?”
“Please connect a compatible memory source and say okay.”
Lyra pulled out the cable from the socket in her head, when Bon-Bon came back.
“I did it! It took me five tries, but I did it!”
The earth pony was holding up a rectangular board with freshly painted words: ‘Freak Andy’. Lyra closed her eyes and covered her face with her hoof.
“Free candy, Bon-Bon, not freak Andy. What foal would ever want a freak Andy?”
Bon-Bon blinked few times.
“Free candy? Oh, now it makes sense,” she exclaimed. “That's why you bought so much candy and no Andies.”
“I have no idea if buying Andies even makes any sense, but please go do it again, and correctly this time.”
“Okay!”
Taz reacted immediately: “No compatible memory sources found. Do you want to try again or cancel?”
***
The bushes near the Carousel Boutique were full of ponies this morning. Usually, if there were any ponies, they were of different sexes and they would engage in very intimate activities, but this time there were two mares, staring silently at a huge box. The box stood supported by one stick with a long piece of thread tied to it. The other end of the thread was hidden somewhere in the bushes, you could say that it was near the place the mares were hiding. Next to the box there stood a huge sign, saying “Free candie” and in fact there was candy, lying on the ground in the shadow of the box.
Around half past seven a young filly left the boutique to go to the school. She noticed a sign standing near the road. When she read it, her face brightened and she jumped towards the box. Suddenly, she stopped halfway.
“Wait, it looks like somepony wants to prank me.” said the filly to herself. “It's the same trick they had on My Little Human yesterday. They are not too creative. But I'm not dumb! I'm gonna take the candy and run away!”
The foal started slowly sneaking towards the candy. She went under the box, carefully looked around if nopony was going to attack her and slowly reached her hoof–
THUD!
“AARGH! Darkness! I see darkness!” yelled the filly after the box has covered her.
Lyra and Bon-Bon walked out from the bushes and slipped a bottom under the box. When the pony in the box calmed down a little, Lyra levitated it and returned home.
***
The filly wriggled while she was being strapped onto a chair in Lyra's basement. “What's happening? What are you doing to me? Are you aliens? Little green ponies?”
“I'm not little,” said the unicorn mare.
Bon-Bon giggled and explained: “We kidnapped you to use you in our plan of world domination! Soon Equestria will be ruled by robots!”
“What? You're robots?” asked the shocked filly.
“No, only I am,” said Lyra. “Don't move, it probably won't hurt.”
“If you're not a robot, why are you helping her?” the filly asked the other mare.
Bon-Bon froze in spot and started thinking. It was a good question, she never asked herself about it before. What could be the answer...?
“It's simple. I give her free candy,” explained Lyra.
Bon-Bon gasped in joy. By Celestia, Lyra was right!
The unicorn brought a big helmet and put it onto Sweetie Belle's head, covering it all.
“Bon-Bon,” she ordered, “keep an eye on her.”
She walked to another room, following the cable that went out from the top of the helmet. She picked up the plug and inserted it into the back of the small robot's head.
“Try again.”
The robot, which looked like an exact replica of the kidnapped filly, answered.
“Starting memory transfer.”
In the other room, the filly started screaming in pain.
A moment later a second voice joined her. Lyra quickly left the room and returned to see Bon-Bon screaming together with the kidnapped filly.
“What are you doing, Bon-Bon?”
“I don't know,” answered the earth mare. “She started screaming for some reason, I panicked and started screaming too. Is she in pain?”
“Don't be ridiculous,” shouted Lyra, to be heard over shrieks of the suffering filly. “She's just screaming to get our attention, she thinks that if she screams loud enough, we'll let her go.”
A voice came from the other room: “Memory transfer complete.” At the same moment, the screaming filly started to calm down.
Lyra removed the helmet from the filly, returned to the other room, pulled out the cables from the robot's head and from under the tail and said to it:
“Increase friendliness towards Lyra and Bon-Bon. Increase inquisitiveness. Start personality.”
The robot blinked several times.
“Huh? What am I doing here? Hello, Lyra!”
“Hi, Sweetie Belle!” Lyra replied. “I found you unconscious in the street and brought you here.”
“Thanks! But I'll go home now.”
The robot walked forward, her hydraulic joints making squeaking sounds. When she walked past the door to the other room, she saw a glimpse of something interesting. When she peeked inside, she saw Bon-Bon examining somepony strapped onto a chair.
““Aargh!””
Both real and fake Sweetie Belles yelled in shock.
““Who is that?”” asked both of them.
“This is your robotic clone,” Lyra explained, pointing at the real Sweetie Belle, “sent by the Evil Robot Empire. We captured it and we're gonna hand it over to authorities.”
Bon-Bon looked confused: “Wait, Lyra, isn't it that one who's a robot?”
The unicorn smacked her in the back of her head. “Of course not. Now, keep an eye on that one and I'll show the real Sweetie Belle the door.”
The imprisoned biological Sweetie Belle yelled: “It's a lie! I'm the real Sweetie Belle!”
The fake Sweetie Belle remarked with her robotic voice: “No, you're not! Your voice is totally different!” and trotted upstairs, followed by Lyra.
“No! You can't let her go!” real Sweetie Belle yelled again. “What will she do to my sister?” After a moment of silence, she added, whispering: “And what about me? Are you gonna kill me?”
“The real secret agent never leaves any evidence,” proudly said Lyra when she returned. “When I leave Ponyville, I'm gonna swap you back and synchronize your memories, so you won't remember anything about this and you'll think you really did all the things the robot did. And don't worry about your sister. She'll be eliminated only in case of emergency.”
Sweetie Belle hung her head down.
“Can you at least untie me? I need to go to the toilet.”
***
“Yes, the cult's budget is pretty tight right now. We could use more funding.”
Fluttershy was visiting Rarity, official reason being purchase of socks. Both mares tried to at least seem to try to conceal the whole Smooze worshiping issue. It wasn't important that the half of Ponyville knew about their little sect, the etiquette required at least an appearance of secrecy.
“Oh, my dear leader,” said the unicorn. “I'd gladly help, but I currently have no free funds. Maybe when I sell next few batches of clothes.”
“You don't have to push too hard,” politely replied the pegasus. “I mean, you can always donate as much as you want. I don't do this for money, our religion is a non-prophet– I mean, non-profit organization.”
“Fluttershy, I have a fabulous, yet quite unrelated idea,” sparkles of inspiration shone in Rarity's eyes. “Why won't we let Sweetie Belle join our group?”
“I don't know, it would look too suspicious,” hesitantly answered Fluttershy. “There are lot of cases nowadays, when some pony, usually a unicorn, kidnaps a kid, does unspeakable things to them in the basement and then wipes their memory with a potion or a spell. I'd be on tongues of all town, maybe even police would get interested in our activities.” The pegasus shifted her gaze. “Maybe when she grows up.”
Suddenly, the doors to the Carousel Boutique swung open and a little white unicorn jumped inside. Fluttershy squealed in shock and hid behind Rarity.
“Rarity, I'm home!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.
“Oh it's lovely, sweetheart, but please never do that again. No proper lady enters like that. How was it at school?”
“Actually, I don't remember being at school at all?”
“And that's why?” asked Rarity, with her eyebrow raised.
“Well, I have no other memories of today apart from waking up in Ms. Heartstring's basement...”
Upon hearing those words, Rarity fainted almost instantly.
“Oh Smooze,” whispered Fluttershy.
Stats
Page generated in 0.02 seconds
Total duration
1,000 users online
1,767,139 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
FiW fanfic? I've been waiting for one of these!
Looks good so far. Nicely done!
yay sweetie bot ^_^
FiW fic? Count me in!
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-sweetie-bot-error.jpg
I knew it would happen!
lyra y u be a robot
I love Bon Bon as a moron. Nice work thus far.
I'm actually enjoying the Pinkie and the Brain style writing more than the FiW referemces.
ending was best part.
Is it weird that I imagined the TAZ having the black Mesa soldier voice?
I guess it was just my brain adding to the comedic effect...
FIRST LINE IS SO CHEESY PINKKIE AND THE BRAIN DUHHHHHH
Lyra you fail