Discord's Family Reunion

by Mister E

Part 5

Part 5
Times of Joy

The people of Equinity, had been looking forward to the return of their king, ever since word reached them that the Maiden's Fancy had been seen returning to port. The magistrate of the city had planned a small parade in his honor, and a brief speech honoring his return. King Justice was known for not hosting elaborate parties, or celebrations, so the townsponies were prepared to make due with this small gesture to show him how they felt.

Which is why it came as a complete surprise to them when the entire honor guard, and every palace dignitary was summoned to the town square on the eve of his return. Justice had sent his pages ahead of him to make huge purchases from nearly all the taverns and food vendors in town. And instructions that a vast feast be prepared on the day of his arrival in the city square. A separate page was sent to the magistrate, informing him that the Captain and crew of the Maiden's Fancy would be returning with him as honored guests and to make arrangements for the finest lodgings in town to be made available to them. It also informed him however that no provision need be made for the Captain and first mate, that they would be lodging in the palace. This bit of news stunned the magistrate, and was soon the gossip of the whole city. Citizens redoubled their efforts, now determined that the King's arrival would be the grandest spectacle the city had ever seen.

All too soon the day arrived. Justice had taken his time to make sure that everything had been prepared before they were in sight of the city. Only Icarus and Stonewall knew what Justice had done. And the fact that he had done all of this to impress the Captain.

Justice had timed it perfectly. As dawn crested the hill they were descending and shone its light on the city of Equinity, Main street was already lined with trumpeters and buglers. The moment Justice placed his first hoof down in the city proper, the fanfare began to sound. Cheers began to erupt from all sides, as every pony in the city lined either side of the lane to see their King returned.

Summergale and Boots were thunderstruck as they walked into the city beside Justice and Icarus.

"Cor, blimey captain," Boots said in a shaky voice. "Look at them all! There must be thousands and thousands of them!"

"S-steady on Boots,” the Captain replied, completely out of sorts. "These folk just be happy ta see their king is all... That bein said, this sure ta be a big city, for bein landlocked an all..." Summergale's voice trails off as she begins to notice more than a few young mares in the crowd, many of whom were throwing flowers, and scarves at Justice as he walks by. She notices their disappointment as he passes without stopping to pick any up. "Justice ye great mean pony!" she says in irritation, "why do ye be hurtin the feelings of all those fillies by ignorin their gifts ta ye?"

Justice looks at her in surprise. "Um Captain, if I were to bend down and pick up a scarf, or say, a flower, it would mean that I accepted that particular pony's offer of courtship.” He stops speaking, noticing the look of surprise on the Captain's face. "Of course,” he begins again, "that one particular scarf does look like it matches my doublet, I suppose- "

"Now hold on their yer kingship!" Summergale interrupts, " I may not look it, but I know a thing or three about fashion. And I can safely say that no scarf, no ring, or no flower I have seen so far, would be close ta matchin what ye be wearin. Matter o' fact, seein as how ye'll be busy with all this crowd pleasin and such, you just let me be watchin all the gewgaws bein tossed yer way. If I be seein anything that'll look good on ye, I'll let ye know!"

"Why thank you Captain,” Justice replies hiding a smile, "The captain is most kind."

"Yar, think nothin of it boyo, ye can trust me ta keep a weather eye out for ya,” Summergale says grandly.

"Oh no doubt about that!" Boots interjects, earning a hoof in the ribs.

After what seemed like an eternity of slowly passing a sea of smiling faces, the king's procession finally arrived at the town square. And after a brief introduction, the King himself began to address the crowd. This went on for quite some time, as was expected of a royal speech.

Summergale leaned in close to Icarus and Boots beside him. "I can't recall Justice ever bein so flowery an long winded afore. Must be what city life does ta ye!"

“Not at all!" Icarus responded. "This is just what a king does to show his thanks to all the people that have turned out to see him. Believe me, behind closed palace doors, NO ONE ever talks like that. You should be thankful that this will go on for several more minutes captain. Because then, it will be your turn.”

"MY TURN!" the captain erupts, completely aghast. "What de ye mean, MY turn!" Icarus is nonplussed. He had been expecting this reaction for some time now, and had been looking forward to it. Boots had noticed Icarus grinning to himself earlier, and had 'persuaded' him to let her in on why.

"Captain, you do realize that King Justice has invited you and your crew into his city as his special guests. You are ponies of renowned importance. It's only to be expected that you would say a few words in regards to King Justice, and the city itself.”

Summergale looks back and forth between Boots and Icarus. Both ponies stare calmly back at her. "I see how it is then,” she says irritably. "Shanghaied by me own first mate, and her love-struck doxy!" At this Boots begins to giggle at Icarus, who assumes an expression of mock indignity.

"So ye think ye got me eh? Well, I'll have ye know me fine bucko's that the captain of the Maiden’s Fancy be knowin a thing or two about oratory! Just wait till the wind finally lets outta his sails. I'll be givin a speech the likes of which'll be remembered till the end o' time!"

"And on this Summergale proved to be almost prophetically accurate.” Discord says, pausing the remote yet again. Does any Pony here NOT know of "The Sailors Speech?” At this, several pony’s faces turn red. Rarity begins to fan herself furiously.

Cadence is the first to speak. "You mean it was real? All of it?!? And your MOTHER said it? In front of the King, and the whole city!?!"

"Yes, yes, yes, and yes." Discord replies smugly. "Would any pony care to see the very first telling of 'The Sailors Speech'?" Every pony is now sitting upright staring intently at the stilled image before them. All that is, except Rarity.

"Ah, perhaps if you will just excuse me for a few moments, I think I'll just step out to powder my nose, please do continue without me. I've uh, had occasion to hear it before.” A protracted silence occurs... "Oh would anyone care to join me? Fluttershy perhaps?"

"Oh. Sorry Rarity, but this is just too juicy to miss. And we get to hear the original, unchanged, uncensored, and spontaneous! I can't wait!"

Rarity's face turns down. "Oh that's perfectly fine dear. You go right ahead, I'll... I'll be back shortly.”

And with that Rarity hurries from the room.

"Why, whatever was that all about?" Discord inquires.

"Indeed there seems to be some unusual disparity, in our otherwise somewhat saucy Rarity,” Zecora interjects.

Several ponies look at each other to see if anyone might have a clue.

Finally, an unusually reserved Pink Pie speaks up."She doesn't like to talk about it."

"What do you mean?" asks Twilight.

"Well" Pinky begins, "I found out one day when I was over for a dress fitting. I had to stand still for HOURS, and, you might not know this about me, but I get bored really easy.” Several ponies roll their eyes."Anyway I started reciting some of the Sailors Speech, just the racy bits, you know, just to pass the time. And Rarity got so startled she jabbed a pin right in my... cutie mark!"

(Gasps around the room).

"Well naturally I had to know why. So she finally told me. Apparently when she was just a filly in boarding school, all the other girls used to make fun of her accent. You know, because she speaks so properly and politely. So the other girls, would start mocking her with the Sailor's Speech, every time she spoke. She doesn't really like to hear it anymore."

"Why that's terrible! Discord says. "I had no idea.”

"It's okay dear," Fluttershy says, patting his paw. "None of us did.”

"Hmm. Well! That may be true my dear. But I made a promise to myself, you, and everyone else here, on our wedding day, that I would never harm another pony again. And I'm not about to start now. Excuse me for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” {Snap} and Discord vanishes from the room.

Moments later his voice could be heard in the other room speaking with Rarity. At one point they could hear her voiced raised and crying. All the while Discord kept talking and despite the ponies not being able to hear what was being said, Rarity seemed to be calming down. Then suddenly, they could all hear quite clearly, Rarity begin to laugh. And then,

"OH Darling! This I have GOT to see!" And with that Rarity comes racing back into the room, and settles back into her usual seat. " Well, I hope I made it back in time! It doesn't look like I've missed it yet!". Rarity seemed genuinely excited, despite the fact that it was obvious from her red-rimmed eyes, that she had been crying only moments before.

Fluttershy yanks Discord down to eye level by his beard. "What... did... you... do?!?" She demands in a harsh whisper.

"Bear with me, pony of my heart, and you'll see. All I've done so far is make her a promise. If it works out, then I'll erase some of her pain... almost like magic.”

"All right husband of mine, I trust you. BUT if she ends up crying again, The Stare is going to be the least of your problems!"

(Eeep!) "Yes dear. Not to worry. Everything will be fine... (I hope). Which reminds me... Twilight, Applejack, I trust your judgment either way, but is it okay for Spike to hear this?"

"No" Twilight says, at the same time Applejack says "Yes.” They stare at each other. “Applejack, Spike isn't ready for something like this. He’s not going to understand.”

"I'm sorry sugar, but I disagree. He's plenty grown up enough for... other things. He can handle it.”

"AHEM!" a voice comes from below. "I'm right here you know. And for your information I’ve heard the Sailors Speech dozens of times. I am a boy you know. And that's nothing compared to what Twilight had me write in her journal about-"

"SPIKE!" Twilight yells. Then looks around sheepishly. " Um, that's not really meant for anyone else to see, heh heh heh... "

"Well then. That's all settled. Everyone ready?" Expectant nods around the room. Fasten your seat belts then. Here we go." And the play button is pushed.

King Justice had finally begun to conclude his welcome home speech. The ponies of the city, had hung on his every word. Many were happily surprised that their king had returned home in such boisterous spirits, after his somewhat reserved departure almost a year before. Justice gestures to Summergale to join him on the podium.

“And now mares and gentle colts, I would like to introduce Captain Summergale of the Maiden’s Fancy. For more than half a year she has served as our guide from port to port. All across the coasts of our great land. I extend to her and her crew the hospitality of our city, and the thanks of a grateful king. I would like to invite Captain Summergale to say a few words to help the people of our city come to know her as I have, if she will.”

Captain Summergale moves slowly to take the place of Justice at the center of the podium. Those that can see marvel at her beautiful up spread wings, and her charming beauty. And then, she begins to speak.

“Please excuse me if you will. I was not expecting to be speaking to you all today, so I have nothing prepared, but if I have your indulgence, I’ll do my humble best to expound on what a great honor that has been bestowed upon both myself and my crew.”

Justice, Icarus, Stonewall, and the rest of the ponies that had traveled with her for nearly a year up until now are shocked speechless, by the calm, reserved, and dignified manner at which the captain has addressed the crowd. She turns down toward their stunned faces and gives a large broad wink. Then addresses the crowd once more.

“I CAN’T BE THANKIN YE ENOUGH FOR THIS AMAZIN WELCOME WE HAVE RECEIVED THIS DAY.” She blasts out in the fullness of her voice. “ME MA WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE HER LIL FILLY BESTRIDING THE STREETS O’ SO FINE A CITY, AND NOT BE CHASED BY THE LOCAL CONSTABLE.”

Stonewall bursts into laughter, followed quickly by Icarus, Boots, and even Justice. His shell of dignity shattered by the combination of civility, and brute force. But the Captain had only just begun.

“AYE, WE OF THE SEA HAD ALWAYS CONSIDERED YE CITY PONIES TO BE A WEE BIT ON THE STUFFY SIDE, BUT AS WE ARRIVED, I COULD TELL WE’D ALL BEEN MISLED. YE RAISED A HUE AND CRY AS LOUD AS ANY CREW O’ SALTY DOGS AS EVER HAD GOTTEN SHORE LEAVE AFTER A LONG STRETCH AT SEA. YAR, IT BE TRUE WHAT THEY SAY, YE CAN’T BE JUDGIN A BOOK BY ‘ER COVER. THAT REMINDS ME OF THE TIME...”

And with that the captain began a long, long, incredibly long, series of tales of her encounters with ponies and other creatures from foreign lands. Each tale became bawdier and racier than the last. Many mothers in the crowd had put their hooves over their children's ears and had begun to lead them away. But few were the places that were free from the range of Summergale’s voice.

After twenty minutes the Captain had shown no signs of slowing down. She seemed intent on sharing every aspect of the last decade of her travels in great detail. The dignitaries that had traveled with Justice had by now become accustomed to the captain, and had sent pages out for snacks and drinks.

Justice absently took a mug of cider from a passing page and spoke to Icarus. “Well, I expect more than a few visits to the castle in the next few days.”

Stonewall sticks his head between them. "Days?” he interjects, tears of laughter still streaming down his face. "We’ll have to close the castle to the public for months. And you’ll still have to deal with the nobles on the INSIDE.”

Stonewall breaks off speaking as another fit of laughter takes hold of him, due in no small fact to the apoplectic expression on the faces of the aforementioned nobles as Captain Summergale goes into great detail about the bartering system on an island of female only ponies who would trade goods for ‘services’ to help maintain their population.

During this entire time the general population had been undergoing a series of emotional changes. First was shock when Summergale began the first verbal assault upon their ears. Second was embarrassment due to the rather graphical nature of most of the content of her ‘speech’. Followed by more shock, as the captain decided (somewhat prematurely), that the crowd was with her, and decided that she no longer needed to water down the content for the faint of heart. Followed by a mass egress of the ponies who had lived a life more or less sheltered from much if not all, of the activities the captain had been describing. By the end of the first hour, roughly a fifth of the crowd had left. The rest by this point had all stopped speaking, and simply stood there, numb from shock. By now their ears were desensitized to the volume and content of the captains words. They had hung on this long, and they wanted to see how far this oratorical voyage would take them.

Half an hour later their shock had turned to awe. This was something they would remember for the rest of their lives. Something they would tell their children about. She just... kept... going... in the back of their minds some part of them were hearing and remembering her words. Storing them to tell future generations. But by this point, what was being said no longer mattered. They were all thinking the same thing, she just... kept... going...

Toward the end of the second hour the captain finally began to show signs of slowing down. She’d pause to take a sip of cider, and toss out the occasional aside. But by now the crowd had become spell bound. Each time she’d pause for breath, the crowd would fill the few scant moments of silence with thunderous applause. This served only to revitalize the captain, and she’d launch into some fresh tale of seafaring madness.

But as they approached the end of the third hour, even Captain Summergale had had enough. She was tired, hungry, and worst of all stone cold sober. And she had been up there speechifying while even Justice had stopped to heap a plate with food. And then he stood there right in front of her and ate it. The nerve. What she didn’t realize at the time, was that Boots had sidled up to Justice minutes before and said that if he ever wanted the captain to stop, that he needed to be prepared to appeal to her more ‘basic’ instincts.

“AND IN CONCLUSION, I’D JUST LIKE TO BE SAYIN THAT OUT O’ ALL THE PLACES WE’VE BEEN, ACROSS THIS GREAT LAND, NO CITY HAS EVER BEEN AS GRAND AS THE ONE I’VE SEEN TODAY. NOR ANY FINER A GROUP OF PONIES HAVE I EVER MET. I HOPE THAT ME AND ME CREW WILL FIND A WELCOME BERTH AMONG YE!”

And with that the captain stopped speaking. The silence was deafening. She had enough time to dismount the platform, fill a plate, grab a mug, and raise it to her lips before the applause began. And much like the captain’s speech it seemed to go on forever.

“That was very well done.” A melodic voice intones over the captains shoulder.

She turns and begins to speak, “AH WELL, I WOULD'A DONE BETTER IF I HAD HAD TIME TO PREPARE, BUT ALL IN ALL I... ” And she falls silent and drops both her mug and her plate, which magically hover in the air before her as she falls to her knees. “My apologies Great Zacherle, I didn’t realize that you would be in attendance.” Summergale keeps her head bowed in shame.

Zacherle looks down upon her and lays a hoof upon her shoulder. “Rise your head dear one. That was one of the most wonderful things I ever heard. Why would you ever be ashamed?”

“Beggin yer pardon O’ Great One, but me manner o’ speaking could, by some, be considered a bit course.”

“Course? I heard nothing course. I heard a pony being true to herself. I heard a pony not being afraid of what others may or may not think, and telling them about her life unashamedly. And I also heard, and am still hearing, exactly how your audience feels.” And with that Summergale raises her head and notices for the first time that the applause her speech has generated still hasn’t stopped. She looks around in wonder at all the ponies shouting her name. And at her friends Boots, Icarus, Justice and even Stonewall as they smile at her in return.

“I” she begins, and then stops. Then begins again in a voice filled with wonder, “I don’t know what to say...” and the scene dissolves to the sound of Zacherle’s laughter.

The ponies in Discord’s living room are silent. Their minds trying to process what they have just beheld. Fluttershy glances over at Rarity and is shocked to see tears still streaming down her face. She reaches up and grabs Discord’s beard and yanks him down to eye level.

“SHE’S... STILL... CRYING!” she furiously whispers into her husband’s face. This motion is not lost on Rarity.

“Oh please darling, don’t’ hurt him!” she says dabbing tears from her eyes. “I’m not at all sad. I’m afraid I have just been laughing a bit too hard is all.” She comes over to stand in front of Discord, and takes both his paws/claws into her hooves and looks him in the eyes. “I can never thank you enough. You are a true, true friend.” And with that she plants a kiss upon his cheek. Fluttershy looks agape. “Oh darling, please don’t be jealous, it was only a ‘friendly’ kiss. Rarity teases.

Discord joins in with “oh say it isn’t so Fluttershy my dearest. Surely you know that YOU are the only one for me.” Discord says with a pleading look upon his draconic visage.

Fluttershy crosses her arms, “very funny”, she says. ”Would either of you care to enlighten the rest of the room as to what exactly has been going on?”

Expectant faces all look toward Rarity and Discord. “Well, darling, I suppose it’s all right for you to show them. I don’t mind.” Rarity hands Discord his remote.

Discord rewinds the narrative to the beginning of the speech, changes the view to be facing from over Summergale’s head, outward toward the crowd.

He zooms toward the front row. And pauses the screen. There in the front row are four ponies who seem to be looking around in bewilderment. Rarity starts laughing all over again. Pinky Pie is the first to figure it out.

“Are those... the ponies from Rarity’s boarding school?” She asks.

“Oh yes,” Discord replies. I magically sent them back in time and rooted them to the spot. It could now be said that they are the definitive authorities on the “Sailors Speech.” No worries every pony. I sent them back as they woke up this morning, and returned them only a moment later. They will all just assume that they had a really vivid dream. No harm done.” The Chaos Lord says as he sits back and puts his arm around Fluttershy.

Celestia looks curiously at the Chaos Lord. “You’ve developed subtlety, since you’ve returned from your honeymoon.”

“What can I say” Discord responds, “It’s amazing what the love of a good pony can do.” He says planting a kiss on the cheek of Fluttershy.

“I think you missed,” she says chidingly, “Rarity is over there.”

Discord rolls his eyes. “Never letting that one go are we?”

“Nope,” Fluttershy responds with a smile.

“Discord,” Luna says, “I was about to suggest we resume this in the morning. But I notice that the sun hasn’t moved in the sky, even though by my reckoning, twilight should be approaching by now.”

“Approaching?” Discord points with his clawed thumb over his shoulder, “She’s right there.”

“Never heard that one before,” Twilight Sparkle says rolling her eyes.

“You know what I mean,” Luna says in exasperation.

“Well, the short answer is, that I took us outside of time when we started this little travel log. I didn’t want to have to relive what we are about to see more than once. The Sailors Speech alone was three hours long. And we still have much to cover. By the way this also explains why none of you have felt the need to go to the bathroom.”

“That’s true Twilight responds,” but why have we all still been hungry? I’ve been snacking the whole time.”

“That my dear, is merely habit. Who doesn’t like to snack while watching a movie? Although when I start time again when this is over, you may want me to add a few more bathrooms to the place for a bit... just saying... ” Unhappy looks of understanding cross the room as the ponies mentally tabulate the amount of food and beverages they have consumed up until this point. Discord settles back in and prepares to resume the narrative...

Almost a month had passed since the return of king Justice and his guests. The uproar at their arrival had finally begun to die down, and life had returned to what passed for normal in the city. In the palace however, things were anything but normal. On the surface Justice conducted business as usual. Dotting every I and crossing every T. But as soon as the affairs of state were concluded each day, he immediately left the throne room to track down Summergale. His behavior scarcely went unnoticed at court. Rumors were quick to fly, and more than once the topic of a new queen arose. Stonewall and his guards had their hands full keeping a lid on the simmering powder keg of intrigues that had sprung up. Finally one afternoon as Justice and Summergale were relaxing in the palace garden, Stonewall came to see them.

“We need to talk.” He said evenly.

“I’ll just be heading back ta me room then,” Summergale says beginning to rise.

“No Summergale, this concerns you as well.”

“Stonewall, is this really-” the king begins,

“Yes your highness, this really IS necessary.” Stonewall overrides. “Personally, I have no problem with your arrangements with Summergale, but Justice, you need to get your head out of the clouds long enough to address this situation. The nobility are starting to drift into factions. Some will always support you, no matter what decisions you make. But some of them. Some of them don’t care for the attention you have been showing the good captain. You could probably guess which ones I mean. The ones with eligible daughters. You need to make a statement to quash this now. Before someone decides to behave foolishly. Because if that happens, then I happen to them. Do any of us want that?” Justice takes a long look at Stonewall. His face is calm and serious as always.

“And what exactly,” Justice says slowly, “am I supposed to say to them.”

Summergale, who up until now had been silently thinking about what Stonewall has said suddenly interrupts.

“Well now, as I see it, ye really only have one choice. Ye need to tell ‘em all that we’re getting hitched.” And Summergale calmly sits back down, nonchalantly munching an apple.

“What!” Justice explodes, while Stonewall merely covers a smile.

“Well think about it” she says placidly, “If we get hitched, then all the talkin’ an plottin’ ends. I don’t think any of these pasty faced nobility have the oats ta commit treason against their Lady. On the other hand, the alternative is fer me ta leave an never see ya again. I ain’t even going ta ask if ye can live with that decision. The reason bein is that, I have no intention on given ye up. I’ve gotten used ta ye over the last few months boyo, and I’ve decided ta keep ye. And what Captain Summergale wants, Captain Summergale gets! Now gentle ponies, are we all in agreement?” Justice looks wide eyed at Stonewall for support. Stonewall merely shrugs.

“It’s up to you, you are the king.” He says, still smirking.

Justice absentmindedly sits down on the bench beside Summergale. Looking down at the grass, he says after a minute, “Well. I- I guess I’m getting married.”

“WELL DON’T SOUND ALL EXCITED ABOUT IT!” Summergale explodes. Justice looks up from the ground into Summergale’s face, tears of joy forming at the corners of his eyes.

“I’m going to get married!” He says again, his voice filled with excitement. Summergale crushes him in her arms.

“Now THAT'S more like it!”

Softly, so that neither of them could hear, Stonewall intones “Indeed.”

Much giggling could be heard over Discord’s shoulder’s as he fast forwards through the announcement, and engagement. He studiously ignores the rather pointed speculations involving his soon to be parents. That is, up until speculations about their upcoming honeymoon entered into the discussion.

“ENOUGH!” Discord yells, slamming down the remote. “I’m going outside for some air. Let me know when you all get this out of your system. And with that he disappears. Seconds later his clawed hand opens the back door from the outside, just far enough to slam it. The ladies all begin to chuckle amongst themselves.

“It seems for all of Discord’s bluster, in THIS situation, he is easy to fluster!” Zecora says with a laugh.

And she, Luna, and Celestia begin to discuss things among the three of them. Shining Armor, and Spike look at each other, and walk to the back door unnoticed. They quietly open it and go out. Fluttershy flaps her wings and hovers before the group.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?” She intones shrilly. “You saw before how this really bothers him.”

“Aww c’mon” Rainbow Dash says good naturedly, we’re only messing around with him.”

“Oh really? So if I go out there and ask him to show us some home movies of all of YOUR parent’s honeymoon’s, there wouldn’t be a problem?” She asks pointedly.

Looks of shock pass on the faces of everyone present.

“That’s what I thought. Now when we get back, I EXPECT some sort of apology. And it BETTER sound sincere!” And with that Fluttershy leaves the room.

“Did you see that?” Rainbow Dash says, surprise still evident on her face. “Fluttershy just put us in our place! Wow!”

“Indeed” Cadence responds. “First Discord develops tact, and now Fluttershy grows a pai-, I mean, has become more confident. It seems they are balancing each other out.” She says thoughtfully.

“Still” Twilight says from the couch, “Much as I hate to admit it, I think we were in the wrong. I mean, I know we aren’t used to considering Discords feelings, but he is our friend now. And we are sitting in his home. Not to mention being allowed to see his family’s history. I think we really should apologize when they return.” Looking around the room, Twilight sees that every pony is nodding in agreement.

“Yo Discord wait up!” Shining Armor, says as he and Spike walk out into the garden. “Dude,” he says catching up, “That was harsh.”

Discord turns and sighs, “Sorry. I’m just more than a little stressed right now with Harmony only days away.”

“No Dude. I meant THEM. That’s no way for guests to behave. And she’s like your MOM. Totally uncool.”

“Shining is right,” Spike says as he pulls himself up onto a bench. “They always get like that whenever something romantic happens. I mean Twilight is so serious, like all the time, but put a romance novel in her hooves and suddenly it’s like she’s MY age.”

“Yeah bro, Cadence is the same way. And don’t get me started when the two of them get together. Dude it’s like all they ever do is gossip.”

“Tell me about it,” Spike says, warming to the topic, “and it’s not just those two. All six of them are like that. You should see them in the same room together. Give them five minutes, and everything that has happened to every pony in Equestria will be known between them.”

Discord snaps his fingers, and three mugs of cider appear before them. “Gentle beings, you two need to come over more often! And I thought that I was the only one who noticed. I wasn’t sure if it was natural, or the effects of some stray enchantment.”

“No bro” Shining Armor responds, “Only the magic of being a chick. They just can’t help it. Too bad they can’t be like us. You won’t catch us sitting around gossiping and complaining about every little thing that THEY do.” Nods of agreement among the three.

“Yeah, Twilight is always like do your chores, don’t stay too late at Applejack’s, finish your vegetables. I’m a dragon for Sky Stallion’s sake. I eat gemstones! What on Equestria do I need with vegetables?”

“I hear ya bro, Cadence is always like ‘all you ever do is train, and polish your armor, we never spend any time together’. I’m like, you could help me polish my armor, then we’d be doing both, and then she gets all mad for some reason.”

“Honestly. You two have it easy. I have phenomenal cosmic power. My wife expects me to DO things. All the time! 'Discord, time to feed the animals' {snap}. 'Discord, can you find a place for my new snuggle wuggums' {snap}, 'Discord Angel Bunny did that trick with the grape juice on the carpet again' {snap}. 'Discord, remember that one absolutely perfect apple fritter I had two weeks ago? Be a dear, and risk destroying all of time and space to bring it here so I can eat it again' {snap}. And we can’t even walk into town and back without a new addition to our critter family. I had to make a pocket dimension just to have a place for all of them to live. I tell you fellas. On the outside Fluttershy may have the face and voice of an angel, but on the inside-”

(Discord recognizes the strained expressions on the faces of his two friends. Being the Lord of Chaos, he is quicker on the uptake than most.) “On the inside, she is the sweetest, kindest, most generous pony I have ever met. And not a day goes by that I don’t fall to my knees and thank the Sky Stallion for being allowed to be a part of her life.”

Fluttershy pokes her nose over his shoulder. “Nice save buster.” She says. “The ladies have settled down, come back whenever you are ready.” Fluttershy smiles at Discord, and gently whacks him on the back of his head, before trotting back inside swaying gently from side to side.

“Um dude” Shining Armor begins,

“Yeah, I know. But she’s totally worth it.” Discord says as he and Shining Armor share a hoof bump.

“Did I miss something?” Spike asks in confusion.

“Oh nothing,” Discord replies. By the way how are things going with you and Applejack?”

Spike blushes furiously. “Things are fine. Really fine.” A dreamy expression fills his face, “Wonderful actually. She’s my Apple Pie.”

“So,” Discord inquires, “No lingering attachment to Rarity?”

“What? Oh that was just a school pony crush. This is the REAL THING.” Discord and Shining Armor roll their eyes.

“Dude we are totally stoked that you two found each other. We kinda knew Applejack had feelings for you, but when did YOU figure it out?”

“Y’know, it was the strangest thing. One night a few months ago, I had this dream. And in it, Applejack had made a picnic just for the two of us. She set next to me, and we watched the sunset together. And right at the edge of twilight, she kissed me. It was amazing! I woke up the next day, and went to Rarity’s to help her clean out one of her storerooms. But I couldn’t get that dream out of my head. The next night I had another dream about her. We had gone swimming together, had fun, and once again at the end of the dream she kissed me. It was as awesome as the first time. These dreams kept happening for the next three days. Finally I told Twilight about it, and she said that I should tell Applejack about them. Well, I went to see Applejack and told her about my dreams. You’ll never believe what she told me!”

“Let me take a guess,” Discord replies sardonically. “She said that SHE had been having the same dreams, and she was able to describe them to you in detail.”

“That’s right” Spike says in awe.

“And I bet she was all like ‘dude it must be fate or something!” Shining Armor interjects.

“That’s right! How did you know?” Spike says looking back and forth between them.

Discord and Shining Armor look at each other and at the same time, say the same thing. “LUNA!”

“What?” says Spike.

“Spike my young friend, I believe the arrows of cupid are dipped in ebony and starlight.” Discord says bemusedly.

“He’s trying to say you’ve been set up bro.” Understanding begins to dawn on Spike.

“I think,” he says in a determined tone, that before we resume your story, that I need to have a few words with my Apple Pie and her ‘friend’.” And with that Spike marches back inside.

“Dude. I totally wish we could hang around for THAT conversation!”

“No worries...‘bro’ I can ‘totally’ rewind time for us on the viewer later.”

“Groovy.” Shining Armor replies as they re-enter the sitting room, passing Luna, Applejack and Spike on their way outside.

“Discord, we all wanted to apologize for before.” Twilight says rising from her seat. “I guess we didn’t realize just how much it bothered you. We should have been more understanding.”

“It’s okay Twilight, apology accepted,” Discord replies in a weary tone. It isn’t that I am angry with any of you. It’s just very painful for me to see her again like this, knowing what is soon to happen. I’ve spent hundreds of years, doing nothing but viewing the past, trying to understand why things happened the way they did, and when I finally found out... (Discord heaves a sigh,) but I am getting ahead of myself. As soon as Spike and the others return, we can resume.”

All too soon the ponies can hear the sounds of raised voices, as Applejack, Spike and Luna, approach the doorway from the garden.

“Spike, I don’t think that using my powers in such a way, is at all appropriate.”

“You owe me one Luna. Technically you owe me five. And I want it EXACTLY as I described it to you.”

“As you wish Spike, but in return I want to know exactly which book you read those things in. For... research purposes.”

The three enter the sitting room. Spike shares a wink with Discord and Shining Armor. Luna is looking thoughtful. And Applejack is blushing furiously. They resume their seats. “Is everything all right Applejack?” Twilight asks. Unable to look Twilight in the eyes, staring intently at the floor, Applejack finally replies,

“Everything’s fine Twilight. I was just... caught off guard, from the direction of our conversation. Not in a bad way you understand! Just a little shocked is all.”

“What DID you talk about? Spike seemed pretty miffed when he asked you two outside.” Applejack’s blush deepens even further as Luna interjects.

“It was about some... personal concerns that Spike was having. After an... in depth... discussion, (even Luna blushes at this point), I believe we have resolved the issue.”

“Everything’s fine now Twi,” Applejack says as she recovers herself, “let’s just get back to the story.”

Discord shares a look with Shining Armor. Shining Armor silently mouths “Later?” To which Discord responds “Definitely!”

“All right every pony.” Discord says, getting everyone’s attention. “Technically we could skip this part, but it’s obvious that many of you have an interest in it. So let’s all attend a wedding.” And Discord presses the ‘play’ button.

Comments

[nukestar]

Why does Shining sound like a surfer 'dude'? Also Stonewall reminds me of Teal'c (especially that last 'Indeed')

[Princess LightningChaser]

“I think you missed,” she says chidingly, “Rarity is over there.”
Discord rolls his eyes. “Never letting that one go are we?”
“Nope,” Fluttershy responds with a smile.
“Discord,” Luna says, “I was about to suggest we resume this in the morning. But I notice that the sun hasn’t moved in the sky, even though by my reckoning, twilight should be approaching by now.”
“Approaching?” Discord points with his clawed thumb over his shoulder, “She’s right there.”
“Never heard that one before,” Twilight Sparkle says rolling her eyes.
“You know what I mean,” Luna says in exasperation.

lol

[HeartfireFirebrand]

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?” She intones shrilly. “You saw before how this really bothers him.”

“Aww c’mon” Rainbow Dash says good naturedly, we’re only messing around with him.”

“Oh really? So if I go out there and ask him to show us some home movies of all of YOUR parent’s honeymoon’s, there wouldn’t be a problem?” She asks pointedly.

Looks of shock pass on the faces of everyone present.

“That’s what I thought. Now when we get back, I EXPECT some sort of apology. And it BETTER sound sincere!” And with that Fluttershy leaves the room.

“Did you see that?” Rainbow Dash says, surprise still evident on her face. “Fluttershy just put us in our place! Wow!”

“Indeed” Cadence responds. “First Discord develops tact, and now Fluttershy grows a pai-, I mean, has become more confident. It seems they are balancing each other out.” She says thoughtfully.

Discord gained tact and Fluttershy gained guts.