Penyus in ze anyus

You should get an editor. :)

I love the idea with the primary feathers that was genius, GENIUS!

I want a Phoenix now, I don't care if they're mythological, I want one.

So far, so good. A few spelling errors and run-on sentences, but not deal-breaking. One thing I had to comment on:

maybe it’s a social fopa, like having someone see your dirty underwear or some sort of griffon equivalent

Think you mean "faux pas". Other than that, I like the story so far.

I'm loving this story, but there's a big issue - there's a LOOOT of spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors all over the place.
I'd recommend proof-reading it and solving these issues.

allot of bits

*a lot

4769418

FOPA?! Wow, that's a whole new level of wrong!

Yeah, this is in some desperate need of proof-reading. I don't think there was a single area where the errors let up.

The story itself is actually not bad, especially considering these types of story have next to none. I felt the idea with the feather was well-done, and the only thing that's unexplained so far is how Gilda was there to save him.

With some polish, this could be a stand-out clopfic.

This is awesome and cool!

I mean really can anyone really explain the entire workings, set up and manufacturing process of a fridge

What type of fridge we talking?

This really needs to be edited, but you really can't be blamed. Greece can be a scary place.

“Hey KFC you ok?”

They have KFC in England?

I feel so proud of my state now.

this was awesome and hilarious XD

lost it at KFC joke. i just imagine gilda's head popping out of a bucket of KFC chicken

4778944 Here you go.

derpicdn.net/img/2012/10/27/133769/full.png

Despite the spelling mistakes and grammar error in this part, my favorite parts of this fic is that the main character eventually learns the mistake he made on his own and from his job instead of having someone tell it to him and the fact that he's able to kiss Gilda, which is something I really like to see in a Gilda or griffon x human fic and the fact that you described how it felt to him.

4768332

Tsundere detected

4779071 of course you would post this XD

4786194 W...why?

Stuck in a Greek airport for 8 hours and decided make a clop to pass the time.

Was stuck in British airport for 14 hours and wore a plastic bag as a hat to pass the time.

... It was horrible. I hate that airport. It happened twice.

Instead Gilda blushed even harder as she leaps backwards threw the window, yelling something about being in her bunk. You don’t understand, must be a Griffon thing...

When I think about it, Gilda's lion half's coat is kinda 'brownish'....

forums.riftgame.com/attachments/general-discussion/14978d1382222438t-whos-hottest-girl-telara-come-show-your-stuff-ill-my-bunk_thumb2.jpg

These magical tree canines are at least you* size, and each one of them are natural killing machines. It’s ironic, given their lack of any digestive track that they only ever eat meat, an irony that’s not lost on you being that you are now on the menu

Your

Story is nice, but I think the comedy of errors that is the occasional grammatical or vocabulary mistake takes the cake.

You exit the shower and begin to rummage round your Chester draws.

I lost it right there. Chest of drawers, my god.

Gilda blushed even harder as she leaps backwards through the window, yelling something about being in her bunk

Was that a Firefly reference?

Man, some of these typos and misspellings are brutal. The rest is oddly alright, though. I'll keep reading.

but you can easily tell the Griffons nervous.

Griffon's

Contraction of Griffon is.

I loved this chapter it was sweet and funny and the end was just beautiful. I can't wait to see what happens between them all next and to them next.

As much as I hate 2nd person stories, I'm glad I gave this one a chance. The whole misunderstanding really reminds me of "Xenophilia", which is a big plus for me.

I will never understand why someone thought it was good idea, to make species that don't have hands, play a game that uses nothing but hands. Besides, if it's uses flying and magic, it's not the same game any more.
And the name to that. "Football". It's not football, its a Handegg, or American Rugby.

BTW.

God Angel sucks.

You could use a coma here. Unless Angel really is a God.

5520378 No it's padded Rugby. Americans play proper rugby as well. American "Football" is a safer way to play a man's sport

For those linguistic people not of British persuasion
Bloody hell = fucking hell (I think)
Arse = ass
Torch = flashlight

Those are the only ones I found

5829186 Bollocks, as well, though who doesn't know how to properly curse in an English way?

Gilda = tsundere.

That is all.

is good

The decent is become more haggard and sloppy as she begins to tire out,

The descent is becoming more haggard and sloppy as she begins to tire out,

I was sold at the very beginning, I hadn't even started reading and I already started liking the author

Stuck in a Greek airport for 8 hours and decided make a clop to pass the time. Sorry if my British slang comes out in this, if you need some help translating just assume everything you don't understand is a swear, your mostly right. (very tired will be mistakes be warned.)

Fucking golden mate

The silence in the room is deafening, Gilda’s reaction is beginning to concern you now. It’s been almost a minute without the she-griffon insulting you; you snap your fingers once or twice bringing Gilda back to her senses. She looks up at you with a very uneasy smile. “Hey KFC you ok?”

funny

10032492
Does she even get that reference