• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen February 2nd

Living Madness


Its either this or star in porn. You all know whats worse.

Comments ( 156 )

And just like that, Fluttershy mind just broke from seeing someone she knows in bed, with Gilda, in the morning. Naked. Overall it's not a bad story, just need word-spelling.

Dat ending though XD. Also, morning, not mourning. But other than that recurring error this was very good :)

Just wanted to point out that titles don't typically have punctuation in them.

4767339 Eh, I'm starting a new thing.:moustache:

4767359
Titles with clits, now that's something...:trixieshiftright:

4767418 No prob, you will never be able to clear this image from your mind now.

Gilda needed moreclop....perfeft for me to clop to with my black outstretched hand:raritywink:

Very good story i hope you have more like this or hope you make more like this.

Time to look up Egyptian stuff to see what a gryphon and human can make!:rainbowlaugh:

Gilda getting some much, MUCH needed attention. Love it!:pinkiehappy:
Read it later.:twilightsmile:

Penyus in ze anyus

“Don’t worry dweeb I’m part Eagles and eagles don’t chew meat they swallow it whole”

That line right there, Excellent.

4768175

A sphinx?

Also great story. Worthy of a follow up

You should get an editor. :)

God I wish there were more fics like this. I literally cannot think of another humanXgilda slice of life fic and now after seeing this one I want more

Sequel and that ending:rainbowlaugh:

We need more humanXgilda :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

4768628
Yup that would do it but I swore that one of the gods was a hawk, human, and lion.:unsuresweetie:

I love the idea with the primary feathers that was genius, GENIUS! :yay:

I want a Phoenix now, I don't care if they're mythological, I want one. :rainbowkiss:

4769007
:rainbowlaugh:
A rebellious genius :rainbowlaugh:

Damn good story mate, Damn. Good. Story!

It's really good and I deeply enjoyed reading a fic about Gilda for once. But with that being said there's a couple minor mistakes in your synopsis.

"That was one year ago" - Instead of putting 'one' year ago, which is just a bit rough; putting "That was a year ago" sounds a bit better.

"and for some reason the Griffon wont leave you alone." The other one being 'wont' is spelled Won't with an apostrophe, but other then that I really loved it!

You need to work on your spelling and grammar here, there's errors from start to finish.

"You Roll over" - why is roll capitalised?
"you sigh in content" - contentment. Not content. You can BE content, but you don't sigh in content.
"its time" - it's.
“Hey dweeb, you gone deaf on me, breakfast, now!” - Question mark after 'me', new sentence.
"here a weird like that" - are weird.
"One last time, I know your awake in there" - Full stop after time, new sentence. "you're", not your.

I could go on and on and on. You need an editor or some serious revision here.

So far, so good. A few spelling errors and run-on sentences, but not deal-breaking. One thing I had to comment on:

maybe it’s a social fopa, like having someone see your dirty underwear or some sort of griffon equivalent

Think you mean "faux pas". Other than that, I like the story so far. :yay:

i want more of this sooooo bad
very well done.

I'm loving this story, but there's a big issue - there's a LOOOT of spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors all over the place.
I'd recommend proof-reading it and solving these issues.

Pffbwahahahaha!:rainbowlaugh:
Oh that was just brilliant, I'm sad to find there's so few good gildaxhuman romance fics out there, so thanks for making this little gem. The story so far is great, but if you were to make a sequel I definitely wouldn't object!:pinkiehappy:

~spread the wuvs.

allot of bits

*a lot

4769418

FOPA?! Wow, that's a whole new level of wrong! :twilightblush:

4768853

Actually this is the third one in recent days. I am hopeful for another one soon.

Oh, ignore those saying you need to fix things. Apparently you don't need an editor or any tidying up after typing this on your phone in an airport lounge. You're TOP of the heap, after all! Don't go looking for anyone to make it better. You've got the approval of the masses (Or maybe about 150 people in 12 hours, which is all the algorithm needs these days.)

No one needs an editor. No one needs to fix anything, just apologize for having errors and everyone will overlook that. No matter what you write, if it's blatantly porn-y enough and mainstream enough, you'll be upvoted and viewed so fast it'll make Twilight's slide up Sombra's Castle look like a broken escalator.

With both *this* and Meat Pie still in the box two days later, I feel insulted as a writer of clopfics. (What Gary_Oak writes isn't your fault, but it's certainly a cause, since he does clop-parodies) Half-assed 'I wrote this during an 8 hour wait' 2nd-person clop is demonstrably worth more than an entire *month* of re-editing and worrying over plot and trying to make sure you've wrapped up loose ends.

Now, having *said* that, it's nice to see Gilda. But seeing her as a sad woobie whining over a human who can't be arsed to read a book and whose choice of sex venues should have led to both him and the kittybird being devoured by Timberwolves while they slept . . . that's not the real Gilda.

To finish off, how about a limerick?

The Fic is ridiculous in many respects.
"Moistened Hole" made my head hit the desk.
You wrote this in one night
While waiting for a flight
But used your smartphone, I suspect!

Wow! Ok so I get off a 15 something hour plane trip after writing and publishing this. REALLY was not expecting this to be anything this big, so first I just want to say thank you all so much for the comments Likes and Favs. Its all a bit much right now honestly. :twilightsmile:

Anyway about damage control:
I wrote this on 4 hours sleep at an stuffy airport in Greece, So mistakes where going to happen. But thank you all for being patient with all the grammar and spelling mistakes. I'll make sure to set them all straight when I get the chance.

To answer the other question.
A sequel? Well I would be lying if I said didn't toy with the idea when I was writing this. But again I really didn't expect this to take off like it did. But its not out of the realm of possibility so make of that what you will.


Anyway I'm in need of a lot of sleep now, I literally have just enough energy/will power to type, this before I crash out. Thanks again to everyone. I'll comment and fix this up very soon.

4769646

Huh that's a very volatile reaction my friend.
I'm guessing that you feel a little bit angry over the state of the rating system, but making it my fault, really?

Some to be honest fairly minor spelling mistakes, that will be fixed fairly soon is hardly something to write an passive aggressive essay over.

I didn't write this for the sole purpose of having it hit the feature charts. All I wanted to do was write a fun little story about a guy and Gilda. Its hardly my fault if people like it now is it?

Also some people don't have editors funnily enough, they have to make do with what they can.
Finally I seem to remember Gilda being in the show for, I don't know one episode was it? Funny how a character cant be interpreted in more than one way considering the amazingly flushed out character arch of one whole episode. An episode that told us basically nothing of her history, likes dislikes and motivations besides being Dash's old friend from school. (Not insulting the show in any way, just pointing out the facts.)

Anyway I'm not going to let it bother me. I like what I wrote and if you don't then that's fair enough. I cant convince you and I wont try, your entitled to your opinions. I just wish they could have been more for everyone's mutual benefit, rather than a passive aggressive statement that make it seem like I'm the source of all problems.

4769746

I'll apologize to you now for coming across that way. Do you want to get some sleep and we'll talk later?

For now, read this in an ordinary tone of voice, not a volatile one:

a) I agree with you that not everyone can have an editor. That is a major problem in this fandom, finding people who are willing to dedicate the time & energy to making fanfics better. It's what comes of having it spring up organically with a lot of first-time writers.

b) There's more than a few minor mistakes. I understand the joy of hitting 'publish' and I was champing at the bit the last time I put a fic out, but I really have a problem with people who 'Post now, fix later', when half your comment base is 'you need to fix some things'. It takes away from people reading your story and leaving you better comments.

c) Your author's note says 'Featuring the Popular You', so while you may have set out to tell a story, you certainly went for the most-popular 2nd-person clop style.

... You know, I should have led off with this, shouldn't I? :P

4769746

Let's be wholly honest, here—editors are not difficult to find. There are groups dedicated to getting authors and editors connected together, and from my experience, the process is very fast and very simple. It only requires a minimum of effort in order to find someone willing to comb through your work.

Secondly, regarding the excuse that this was written on a phone in an airport over a four hour period—that is wholly fine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing something under less-than-ideal conditions and having a significant number of resulting errors. The problem is actually with the subsequent posting of said content. Had you waited to publish until you could look at the story on a regular computer screen, or if you had done a more thorough proofreading to compensate for the poor writing conditions, I am certain that you would have caught a lot of the more egregious errors.

I won't say anything about the story's actual content, because whether or not I like it is not my point.

Anyway, it's very easy to understand Norm de Plume's frustration. A story that could have easily been improved with very little effort was not, yet it was eaten up by a fandom with seemingly low standards.

4769990

Trouble is, editor groups aren't hard to find, but even when I was looking around, it's hard to see who'll take what and just how backed up a lot of them are. It's a young fandom, only four years old, and not a lot of us have experience in editing, or come from other fandoms. I can understand his assertion that not everyone can have someone to say "Well, this isn't working".

I expressed my frustration badly, but it has just been a long week of 'Wait, there's *what* in the feature box?' and this was the last 'maddened beyond endurance' fic. That, and the other two stories already know what I think of their situations. :P

4768175

Time to look up Egyptian stuff to see what a gryphon and human can make!:rainbowlaugh:

This^

I've read what you've managed to spoon up in your spare time, my friend. And I actually enjoyed reading it. If you are in need of an editor, I will let you know that I've had experience in editing a variety of stories here. But I'll leave the decision up to you. Keep up the good work.

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      <).  .)> Make them boys go loco
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I guess Lesbians are hot in any universe.

Pretty much

That rabbit is going to end up abused if its not careful. He still has those tranq darts, and Gilda has a case of after event munchies? :fluttershysad:

So, is there any word on why lesbian pony/gryphon porn is named after the 101st Airborne Division?

Yeah, this is in some desperate need of proof-reading. I don't think there was a single area where the errors let up.

The story itself is actually not bad, especially considering these types of story have next to none. I felt the idea with the feather was well-done, and the only thing that's unexplained so far is how Gilda was there to save him.

With some polish, this could be a stand-out clopfic.

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