Family Ties
Silver awoke the next morning not remembering much about last night. All he could think of at the moment was going to the bathroom. As he got out the bed and walked around he didn't remember where he was. Then finally the memories of last night hit him hard. He became instantly depressed and walked out of the room. He uses the bathroom after finding where it was. As he walks out of the bathroom he smells pancakes and bacon and it puts a smile on his face. He walks downstairs and sees Twi cooking the pancakes on the stove. He sits down at the table and Twi notices him.
"Hey Silver. You hungry," she asks with a smile on her face.
"Yes Miss Sparkle," he says with a huge smile on his face.
She chuckles a little.
"You can call me Twilight."
"Oh okay," he says while still wearing a big smile.
She hands him his plate with 3 pancakes with butter and syrup and bacon on the side.
"Thank you very much Twilight."
"You're very welcome Silver."
He begins eating and Twilight gets her cup of coffee and she sits down across from him at the table. She sips her coffee and he eats his breakfast in a well mannered term. Silver finishes his food and cleans off his plate. A few moments after his phone goes off and he walks out of the room to go answer it. Twi silently sits at the table drinking her decaf coffee with caramel creamer. She loves caramel creamer in her coffee. It gives off a nice sweet taste. A few minutes later Silver walks in with a straight face.
"Silver what's wrong," she asks looking concerned.
"My brother just called. He is coming into town tomorrow. I told him about what happened last night. He was devastated."
"What exactly did happen last night?"
Silver winces at the thought of what happened last night. He takes a deep breath and sits down.
"Last night, I was at home with my parents. We own a farm a few miles away from here. Or... we did."
He holds back tears and tries not to cry. Twi starts to regret asking what happened but after a minute Silver continues.
"Last night my parents were putting out the candles in the house when one candle fell over and started to spread a fire throughout the house. The fire became uncontrollable and my dad tried to put it out. The fire engulfed him and he fell to the floor trying to get it off of him. I tried to get help but the ceiling caved in and landed on him. My mom tried getting it off of him but failed. The fire spread even more and it trapped her in the kitchen. I ran out of the house to find help but as I turned around... the house collapsed completely leaving a fiery mess and a pile of rubble," he tears up as he thinks about it and starts to cry.
Twilight comforts him in any way she can. Without thinking, he hugs her tightly needing someone badly. She hugs back showing that she is there for him in any way possible. He cries on her shoulder as he hugs her as tight as possible. After a few minutes the he pulls away with eyes full of tears.
"I'm so sorry about your parents Silver. I'm here for you if you need me."
He nods his head. Twi begins to clean up the kitchen as Silver sits there silently at the table. Occasionally Twi would look back at him to check on him. She became worried about him so she called her friends to see if they wanted to meet up somewhere and hang out. She was going to bring Silver along so that he could meet more people around town. After that was setup Twi walked over to Silver.
"Hey Silver, I'm about to go see my friends. Would you like to join me," she said with a small smile.
"Sure. I've got nothing better to do," he said with a depressed tone.
Twi looked at him worriedly. He stood up from the chair and put his phone in his pocket. Twi grabbed her purse and her phone as they head out the door. They walk through the streets of Ponyville as they head to the park to meet Twi's friends. They arrive at the park as Pinkie, AJ, Rainbow, Rarity and Fluttershy are sitting at the park's picnic table. Twi and Silver walk up to them.
"Well hi there Twi," says AJ as she notices them walking towards the table. "Who's this little guy?"
"Everyone, this is Silver Light. I found him yesterday. He..." she didn't finish because Silver nudged her and gave her a face that said that he didn't want her telling them. She looked down at him and noticed the face and immediately understood. "... is an old friend of mine's son. I told her I would watch him for the day while she ran some errands."
Pinkie runs up to him and smiles excitedly.
"Hi I'm Pinkie Pie!"
He is caught off guard at her immense energy.
"H-Hi. It's nice to meet you."
He shakes her hand and Pinkie bounces her way back to the table. AJ is the next to walk up and greet him.
"Ah'm Applejack. Ah run the farm around here that supplies all the apples."
"Oh really? That's so cool. I used to live at a farm not too far out of town."
Applejack smiles and shakes his hand firmly and he notices her strength in the handshake. Next to come up is Fluttershy.
"Uh... I-I'm Fluttershy," she says in a near whispered tone but just loud enough for him to hear her.
"Its nice to meet you Fluttershy."
She shakily extends her hand for a handshake and he accepts it. Fluttershy sits back down using her hair to cover her eyes. Next up is Rainbow Dash.
"Hey there squirt. The name is Rainbow Dash. I'm the fastest most daring pony in Ponyville, and I'm awesome."
AJ rolls her eyes at Dash's boasting. Dash shakes Silver's hand and sits back down. Last but not least is the fashionista herself Rarity.
"Why hello darling. I'm Rarity."
She extends her hand and Silver is shocked by her beauty. He accepts the handshake and Rarity sits back down. Twi smiles at the fact that he got to meet all of her friends and they like him. Silver gets a wide smile on his face. It was silent for about a minute. Rainbow is the one to break the silence.
"So kid how old are ya?"
"I'm 13," he replied still smiling his wide smile.
Applejack spoke next.
"You're just around the age of mah sister. She and her friends have a little club they have called the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Seeing as how you don't have yours, maybe they will let ya in."
Silver smiles at now knowing there are more people here around his age.
"They're over in that clubhouse over there," said Applejack while pointing at the big pink clubhouse. "You should go talk to them."
He nods his head and runs over to the clubhouse.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside the clubhouse the CMC are planning what to do next to receive their cutie marks.
"We should try zip lining again," exclaimed Scootaloo excitedly.
"No, remember last time? We got a bunch of sap in our hair and that took me a while to get that out," explained Apple Bloom.
There was a knock at the door. Sweetie Belle went to go answer it. When she opened the door she saw a young colt with long gray hair and white skin. He spoke shakily.
"A-Are you guys the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"
Scootaloo stood in front of him.
"Yes we are. Who are you?"
"I'm Silver Light. I'm new to town. I heard you guys were always going on adventures to get your cutie marks."
"That we are," said Sweetie Belle in her squeaky voice.
"Cool. I don't have my cutie mark either and I was wondering if I could join you guys."
"Hold on a sec. We need to have a CMC meeting," said Apple Bloom as the three girls huddled together to speak about whether or not he could join.
The talk went on for a few minutes but to Silver it felt like forever. He really wanted to be accepted around here and this is the first step to doing so. Finally the CMC broke the huddle and looked at him with stern faces. Then they all smiled and jumped up.
"You're in," they all shouted in unison.
Silver smiled wide and was happy that he finally found some new friends. They bring him inside to show him all there is to show about the clubhouse. Applebloom pointed to a table.
"This is where we eat our lunch."
Scootallo and Sweetie Belle demonstrated what it looked like when they ate lunch. Next she pointed at a corner in the room.
"This is where we come up with all of our ideas."
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo demonstrate them thinking and a light bulb popping on.
Applebloom tells him all of the rules about being a CMC. After about 15 minutes their little tour comes to an end. Silver smiles wide. In that day they go on a few adventures. One involved Mini Golf, another involved hiking, and even one with a pie eating contest. But at the end of the day, they didn't have their cutie marks. They sighed in a sad tone. Silver was determined to cheer them up.
"Okay so we didn't get our cutie marks today. That doesn't mean we will never get them. We have to work hard each day to figure out what our special talents are. It may even be something unexpected. Don't be sad, we still have tomorrow."
This got them all to smile. It was late so Silver said goodbye to everyone and went back to the park where Twi was still talking with her friends. He sits next to her and yawns.
"Tired," she asks with a smile.
He smiles and nods. They say goodbye to everyone and they head back to the house. Silver says goodnight and heads up to bed. Twi goes to her room and sits on the bed with a smile on her face. After about 20 minutes of reading, she turns off her light and closes the book. She places it on the night stand next to her and lays down. She quickly falls asleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The next morning soon arrives and Twi gets out of bed and heads downstairs where she is surprised to see that Silver is already awake and sitting on the couch looking a little hyper. Twi walks over to him.
"Hey Silver. Why are you up so early?"
"My brother's train gets here in about 30 minutes. I wanted to go meet him there."
Twi smiles.
"Want me to go with you?"
"Yes please. I think he'd like you."
"Okay well let me go get dressed and we can head over to the train station."
He smiles as she heads upstairs to get dressed. She comes back down with a black T-Shirt with a star on it and black jeans.
"Ready to go," she asks with a smile.
He nods and they head out the door. They walk to the train station which is about a 10 minute walk. As they get there a train pulls up. Silver starts to get excited. The train doors open and a tall colt with white skin and long blue hair steps out. Silver runs up to him.
"Equinox!"
Equinox hugs him tight.
"Hey there squirt."
The hug lasts a few minutes and after that Equinox stands up and walks over to Twi.
"Hello I'm Equinox."
He extends his hand.
"I'm Twilight," she says while shaking his hand with a big smile on her face.
"I'm guessing that you were the one who has been taking care of my brother for the past few days."
"Yes I am."
"Thank you... so much for taking care of him. After what happened... I couldn't stand to think of him being on his own."
"It was my pleasure. Really. Do you need a place to stay?"
"Yes actually."
"Well come on then. You can stay with me."
They both smile as they all 3 walk back to the house.
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If you enjoy something don't stop doing it.
Your idea is solid. It really is, but I would be lying to you if I said you don't need some help. Find someone to go over the idea with. communicate back and forth, take suggestions, think about what you would be comfortable with cutting out, adding in, and working around.
For example, I love the idea of the kid being withdrawn. Play on that a little. He's seen a horrific and traumatic event. He's not going to be very talkative. Also, since it recently happen he's going to be in shock. So we have Twilight find him, while he's in shock, and he's mostly unresponsive.
Being the caring, and sweet, mare that she is Twilight can't leave him there, so she decides to take him to the hospital. Once there the doctors check him over to find that there's not much really physically wrong with him.
(Here's where we could reach for the suspension of disbelief)
Since Twilight is a Princess (If you want her to be one in your story) the doctors explain that the hospital is somewhat full already. (You could say that there's been an unusual number of accidents involving Pegasi). They ask if she would mind taking the boy with her. After all she is royalty, and surely she would have a place to put him.
She takes him home, and he still doesn't talk, but instead of being distant he's clinging to her. On the other end of the spectrum we see his brother who has been informed about their family farm going up in smoke, and the death of his parents. Without being notified about the death of his younger brother he leaves to go find him.
From this event we stage their meeting.
It's a suggestion, and I don't mean any disrespect. I just want to give a little help to a fellow author.
I like the story, the only things I'm going to criticise are:
- Grammatical errors,
- Jumpiness
To fix both of these all you need to do is reread the story about 2 hours after you've finished writing it.
It seems loke a chore, but it improves most people's writing by about 25%.
~~Flutter-Shy~~
P.S. Keep up the story, pretty please?
i like it and please keep up with this story
NO PLEASE DON'T STOP!! It wasn't a waste of my time! Please, I know it can be hard, but please don't stop. If you need help, just ask.
And don't say you weren't meant to be a writer!!
I know you are. I may not know you, but I just feel like you were meant to be here. And I want you to know that.
Don't look at the likes. They don't mean we don't like it. They mean we want to help. If you let us.
Please. Please don't stop. Please don't give up.
Please?
4667739
Laughed way harder than I should have at that.
Don't stop writing this, all you need is a little help in writing this, and a little lesson on making it flow. Just talk to me if you want, I can help you if you want, many of us here will, just don't discourage yourself.