The Shameless First Person Self-Insert

by sbloom85

Chapter X

A week had passed since I woke up. I still couldn't believe I was in a coma. I laid in my hospital bed, trying to wrap my head around all of it. I was told that a vehicle hit me from behind and that I was lucky to have survived. My parents sat across from me with worried looks on their faces.

“The doctors said you were dreaming. What were you dreaming about?” My mom asked as she took a sip of the hospital coffee.

I shrugged. What could I tell them? “A different life. One that wasn't here.” I started as I took a sip from my water cup. “I was there for about six months, working at a castle, fell in love with a gardener and just popped the question to her. And now there's no going back to it.”

My mom laid a comforting hand on mine. “Oh, Scotty... I'm sorry.” I simply shrugged. It was just a dream, but it's the thought that counted.

---

Two months had passed and I was still in the hospital. My body still hurt like hell, but I was starting to walk around again, with a little help from a walker. Hospital food was considered stereotypically awful, but the food at this one was fantastic. I guess it could be attributed to rural life.

I would think that the meat would taste just as good as it did prior to the coma, but it actually tasted awful, so I decided to change my diet a little bit, which surprised my parents a little. Could the coma have something to do with how my taste buds changed?

It was eleven o'clock at night, the end of my day. I switched off the light from my bed, and for the first time in my life, I wept. It was just a dream. It felt so real though. I should've realized something was up the moment Celestia spoke to me, in English, which felt like a lifetime ago. None of it was real, it was my just brain keeping itself active. I had to face reality, I was never going to see any of them again as they were figments of my imagination.

---

A few months had passed since I started walking again and I've been discharged from the hospital so it was back to the same boring routine: wake up; have breakfast; mess around with Unity and RPG Maker all day; have dinner; watch a little TV with the parents; mess around with Unity and RPG Maker some more; go to bed.

My parents were out to Walmart and I was home only because I didn't want to go to Walmart. I hated that place with a passion. Mostly because of the crowds, but I don't like the Walton family… something about rich people pissed me off. I walked down the stairs and saw a brief flash off to the side. A scroll had popped into existence on the island. “No way...” I walked to the island, set my drink down and unfurled the scroll, the enchanted stamp fell out and rolled on the island for a moment before settling. I felt my heart skip a beat and my breathing became shallow as I read my own letter to my parents. How is this possible?

The only way it would be possible is if I wasn't in a coma and that I was really there and this letter was undeniable proof that I was. There's the question of the coma. Maybe that part was true, but why didn't the person who hit me say that I appeared out of thin air like a light post in a parking lot? Maybe he, or she, didn't want to sound insane?

I turned my mom's laptop on, logged into my account and opened a word processor. If my theory is correct, I was sent back in time and it was me who wrote the letter and sent it off. The letter was probably for Rose and was probably a farewell letter. I cracked my fingers, rolled my neck and began typing.

Dearest Rose,

This might be hard to accept, but the princesses inadvertently sent me back in time while sending me home, most likely to the day I was pulled by Discord. I am unsure as to how it happened, but it did. I was told I had been hit by a vehicle and was in a coma for a couple of months.

At first I thought my time in Equestria was just part of the coma, but after reading the letter I sent from Ponyville, I now know otherwise. I've missed you terribly all these long months and there's nothing I want more than to go through with our wedding.

I don't know if the princesses have the capability to bring me back or if we should ask Discord to do it. Either way, I will be waiting to return to you.

Yours Truly,

Scott Bloom

I started printing the letter, stood up, grabbed an envelope. I walked into the living room and didn't wait long before the letter finished. I grabbed the paper, took it into the kitchen, grabbed a pen and set the paper on the island. I uncapped the pen and signed the letter before folding it up, inserting it into the envelope and sealed it.

I couldn't remember if it needed ink or not. I felt silly for trying it without ink, but I picked up the stamp and pressed it on the front of the envelope. Amazingly, it worked. “You've gotta be kidding me.” Twilight's seal magically appeared on the envelope and it was soon taken to Equestria. “That was convenient.” Now all I had to do was wait.

---

A month had passed since I sent the letter and it should be close to the Hearth's Warming Eve party in Canterlot. I had been more fidgety lately and my parents noticed. They asked what was wrong, but I told them that nothing was wrong. I couldn't tell them, they'd think I was crazy, but I hoped I could show them. After all, seeing is believing.

We were sitting in front of the TV, watching shows that were recorded the previous night. I may have been watching, but my mind was focused on Rose. There was no doubt in my mind that she read my letter, the letter I originally thought was sent from my parents. Time travel was a funny thing.

KNOCK- KNOCK- KNOCK- KNOCK!

Our ears perked as we looked toward the front door and the dog started barking her brains out. I paused the show and my dad and I gave each other a confused look. “Who the hell would be at our front door at eight at night?” He asked as he got out of the chair. I looked at the weather station that hung on the wall, it was a pleasant fifty-five outside, so whoever was out there wasn't too cold. He opened the door and he took a leap back. I never saw him do that before. “What the hell?!”

All of a sudden, a unicorn teleported into the house and the dog backed away from her, still barking. “Rose?”

Rose looked to me and smiled. “Scotty!” She galloped up to me and launched herself up to me in a crushing embrace. My parents were slack-jawed, unsure as what was happening. She stroked my cheek with a hoof and giggled. “I've never seen you with a full beard before. It looks good on you.”

“Uh... Scott? What is that?” My mom asked, pointing a finger at Rose.

I kissed her on the forehead and ran my fingers through her mane before I looked at my mom. “Mom, dad, I want you to meet Rose Petal, a unicorn. She was the one I talked to you about. Rose, these are my parents, Larry and Penny.”

Rose hopped off of me and onto the floor and walked up to my mom and extended her right foreleg. “Nice to meet you, Missus Bloom.” My mom hesitantly wrapped her fingers around her hoof.

I looked to my dad, he did not look happy. But then again, he never looked happy. “A word, Scott?”

I knew what this was about. I looked to Rose and smiled. “I'll be back in a bit.” I stood up and followed my dad into the kitchen and stopped by the table.

“She's not human.” My dad said. Of course she's not, Captain Obvious. “This is strange.”

I scoffed. “Tell me about it.”

He folded his arms, looked down to the floor and slowly shook his head before looking back at me. “What exactly happened?”

I took a moment to think about how I was going to explain this to him. “I suppose now that you've met her, I think it's safe to say that this won't make me sound crazy. I was sent back in time when they sent me back.”

If he had eyebrows, he'd be raising one. “How long were you there? Wherever there is.”

I let out a quiet chuckle. “I was in Equestria for almost six months. For the last month and a half, I had been turned into a pegasus.”

I could see him stifle a laugh, something he doesn't do often either. “You? A pegasus?”

I nodded. “I know. The irony was thick.” I let out an exasperated sigh. “Before you judge me, she makes me happy.”

He nodded in agreement. “I wasn't going to. If she makes you happy, that's all that matters.”

I smiled. My dad was more open-minded than I thought he would be, all things considered. “Thanks, dad.”

We reentered the living room and saw Rose on the floor, playing with the dog and talking to my mom. “You two having fun?”

My mom laughed. “She was telling me about the time the two of you went to...” she looked over to Rose, “what was it? The Crystal Empire?”

I nodded. “Yeah, and I sang 'Hooked on a Feeling' in front of a bunch of crystal ponies.” I shook my head. “That was a very interesting day.” I looked toward Rose and smiled. “Speaking of the Crystal Empire...”

Her ears perked. “Have you been thinking about the honeymoon?” I nodded. “You want to go there?”

I didn't sense any disappointment in her voice, but rather excitement. “We could go to Trottingham or another exotic city.” I teased.

She snorted and raised a foreleg in annoyance. “What can be more exotic than the Crystal Empire?!”

I chuckled. “I was playing with you.” That calmed her right down. “How soon do you want to return?”

She grinned. “If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here a while and get to know your brother and sister in-law.”

Oh crap. I totally forgot about that. They were going to be here tomorrow. I glanced back and forth between my parents. “Would you guys mind if I stayed while you picked them up?”

My mom nodded understandingly. “Of course. We'll tell them you were taking care of Babe, then once we get back, you can introduce them to your babe.”

I looked to Rose and let out a nervous chuckle. “How soon can we get outta here?”

She gave me a gentle push and smiled. “Oh you. I want to see what your world has to offer.” She walked toward the TV and pointed at it. “Would you mind if I sat with you and watch this from the beginning?”

My parents shook their heads. “Not at all. We didn't get far into this one.” My dad said as he sat back into the chair. Babe took her spot right next to him.

Rose and I walked to the sofa. “Why don't you sit on the sofa and I'll sit on the floor in front of you.” I suggested. She opened her mouth, but I raised a hand. “I insist.”

She hopped up on the sofa and I sat on the floor in front of her. “What are we watching?” She asked as she wrapped her forelegs around me.

I grabbed the remote and started the show from the beginning. “It's called 'Dark Matter'.” I filled her in on it as much as possible without spoiling anything for her.

---

After watching the show, the four of us were playing with the dog. “How are we going to handle sleeping arrangements?” My dad asked.

My mom laughed and looked toward Rose and I. “I'm sure they'll be fine in his bed. I'm sure they've slept together before.”

Rose nodded. “We have, but it wasn't until after he turned into a pegasus, though. He's quite protective.”

My dad smiled. “I'm glad to hear that he's been doing well on his own. What have you been doing in your time there?”

I don't know why, but my body held her tighter against mine. Maybe I was that happy to see her, to know that my time there was real and not part of the coma. “Well, aside from tending the gardens, I also trained with the royal guard.” My dad gave an impressed and approving nod. “Mostly to let out all the anger I had pent up.”

Rose chuckled. “Didn't Crimson Blade beat the stuffing out of you the first time you sparred with him?”

I cleared my throat. “Moving on...”

---

It was time to go to bed. I shut my computer down, switched the light off and crawled into bed with Rose, draping one arm over her and sliding the other beneath her neck. “So… about going back to Equestria...”

She wiggled herself closer against me and sighed. “Discord agreed to bring us back, all we have to do is say his name three times and he'll pop right on over.”

I raised an eyebrow and thought about the method. I wonder where he got that idea. “What happened while I was away?”

Rose let out a quiet hum. “Not much.”

---

I pulled my attention back toward Scott after reading his letter and watched as the princesses' combined magic surrounded my fiance. “Stop!” I shouted, but it was too late. He was gone. The princesses collapsed in exhaustion and several guards rushed to their side, helping them back up.

My father took his forelegs off of me and stood in front of me. “Rose? What's wrong, honey?”

I showed him Scott's letter and he went pale. “Let's show this to the princesses.” I nodded in agreement, wiped my eyes and followed him.

Princess Twilight gave us a weak smile. “How'd we do?” I floated the letter to her and she took it with her magic. Her eyes widened as she read the letter out loud. Ponies gathered around to listen to her reading. After reading the letter, she looked to me, tears formed in the corners of her eyes. She limped toward me and gave me a gentle hug. “I am so sorry, Rose.”

Discord popped into the room and looked on us with curiosity. “I thought I sensed some chaos. What's going on?” Twilight floated the letter to him and he grabbed it with his lion paw. His eyes shrank. “Oh dear...” He around at the exhausted princesses. “You all tried sending him back on your own?” I gave him an affirming nod. “As contradictory as it sounds, the only thing powerful enough to accurately send him back home is chaotic magic.” He let out a surprised chuckle. “It's quite the feat that you were able to send him back at all.”

Twilight nodded in agreement. “Yes. Sending a letter was one thing, but a whole pony?”

I walked toward Discord and he knelt to my level. “I don't want to impose, but… I… I was wondering if-”

He smiled and nodded. “You want to go see him.” I nodded excitedly. The fact that he finished my question in that tone filled me with hope. “Of course, dear. Whenever you want to return, just say my name three times.”

Before Discord snapped his talons, Twilight raised a hoof. “Wait a minute!” Discord stopped and Twilight turned to me. “I don't know how the people of his world would react, I studied his physiology, so I'm going to teach you a modified version of the spell I used to mask his appearance at the Crystal Empire.”

Princess Twilight pressed her horn against mine and, in an instant, taught me the spell. She pulled her horn away and I bowed. “Thank you, princess. I'll make sure to put the spell to good use.” I made my way to Discord and bowed my head. “I'm ready to go.”

I looked around and saw teary-eyed ponies, then back to Discord. He snapped his talons, Equestria blinked out of existence and I found myself in front of a two story house.

---

She let out a relieved sigh. “You know the rest.”

I laughed quietly to myself as I gently squeezed her. “I'm glad that you decided to come here. I've been wanting to introduce you to my folks for a while.”

She let out a worried whimper. “What about your neighbors? What will they think?”

I grunted. “I don't know. We'll take it one day at a time. Let's go to sleep.”

The night passed faster than it normally did. I swear, I slept better with Rose at my side than I did without her and I didn't care how sappy that sounded.

---

Morning came and she was gone. I immediately thought the worst, but then I heard some laughter and some goodbyes downstairs. I rolled onto my back and let out a sigh of relief. I laid there for a moment, basking in thoughts about happened lately before getting out of bed and dressing up.

I walked down the stairs into the kitchen/dining area and saw Rose making breakfast. “Morning, Rose.” I greeted as I walked to my medicine. “You making an omelet?”

Using her magic, she uncovered the frying pan, flipped some eggs and covered it back up. “Yes, I am. four eggs, some hash browns and mixed vegetables. I'm going to top it off with some of that 'colby jack' shredded cheese.”

I squeezed by her as I opened the refrigerator door to grab a water bottle. “Sounds great.” I closed the door and put the bottle on the island and proceeded to take my medicine. “Milk or orange juice?”

She let out a quiet hum. “I think I'll have some orange juice. What's the plan for today?”

I reopened the refrigerator door and put my water bottle back in and pulled out the orange juice for her and milk for myself. “Well, if all goes well, my parents will be back by one-ish. You'll get to meet my brother and sister in-law then. Until then… I haven't really thought about it.”

I squeezed by her once more to grab a couple of glasses. She flipped over the omelet and covered it back up. “Could you grab a couple of plates? Breakfast is almost ready.”

---

After breakfast, Rose and I took the dog out back and played with her for a while. After she got tired, we went back inside and plopped in front of the TV. I put on Netflix and scrolled through my list. “What do you feel like watching?”

She let out a thoughtful hum and looked up at me. “Why don't you pick something? All this is still new to me, you know.”

I nodded. “Alright.” I started skimming through the library, I saw Stardust and I stopped. “We're watching this.”

---

Rose thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and after watching it, we decided to take Babe for a quick walk. I was quite hesitant about it, especially since she decided not to use the appearance-masking spell, but thankfully, everyone else on the block was out.

“It's very beautiful here, Scotty.” She observed. I agreed, it was very beautiful here. “It's beautiful, but it feels empty.”

I nodded in agreement. “I know. I miss the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. Ponyville's a close second.” She slowed to a stop and so did I. “Rose? Is something wrong?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. I've been meaning to ask you something. After we get married and have our honeymoon, would you want to move to Ponyville?”

Well, that would be another check mark on the Human in Equestria cliché list. But my time there hasn't entirely been the typical HiE story. “Sure. We'll need to figure out what to do for work.”

---

After walking the dog, we spent a couple of hours watching stuff on YouTube. I noticed that Babe was starting to get excited. That only meant that my parents were home, that meant that my brother and his wife were here. I wondered if my parents told them about Rose, or if they were waiting for me to tell them.

Rose and I stood at the island and Babe was waiting at the door, barking her brains out. This was it, my brother and sister in-law were following my mom up the stairs to the mud room. The door opened my mom smiled at me. “Hey! It's good to see you guys again.” My brother and sister in-law entered and I walked over to them and gave them both a hug.

My mom set her purse on the island and looked over to me. “Where's Rose?”

Before my brother and sister in-law said anything, Rose reared up and placed her forelegs on the island, scaring them. “Holy shit!” My brother shouted. “What the hell?!”

I walked back over to Rose. “Joe, Tiff, I'd like you to meet Rose Petal.”

Tiff's mouth opened. “What? Is that a unicorn? Get out!”

Rose nodded. “I am indeed a unicorn. I was surprised to learn that we're mythical creatures here, along with the pegasi.”

To say they were shocked was an understatement. “She can talk?” Tiff asked.

Joe blinked. “Pegasi? You mean-?”

I nodded. “Flying horses, yeah. And yeah… they can talk. Their society is a lot like ours, but quite different.”

Joe nodded. “No shit...”

Tiff nodded too. “So, who is she to you? Girlfriend?”

I stifled a laugh and shook my head. “My fiancee actually.” Joe and Tiff exchanged a worried look. “I know she's not human, but for a month and a half when I was in her world, I wasn't either. I was a pegasus.” Cue the repeated explanation.

My dad entered the house and Tiff walked up to me and gave me a hug. “I'm happy for you, Scotty. I'm glad you found someone to love you.” She broke the hug and glanced at the both of us. “When's the wedding?”

I looked at Rose and I shrugged. “We haven't decided on a specific date yet, but sometime after we return to Equestria.” I looked back to Joe and Tiff and my parents. “I'd love it if you guys could be there.”

Rose nodded in agreement. “Definitely. It would mean so much if you could.”

Joe and Tiff looked intrigued. “How hard would it be to get us there and back?” My brother asked.

I smiled. “Not hard at all.” I looked to Rose. “We know someone who could get you there and back in a flash. Don't we?”

---

It was the end of a very busy day. Busy talking, anyway. I told Joe and Tiff about me getting teleported to another world, how I met Rose and everything in between; my weekend at the Crystal Empire; Discord turning me into a pegasus, which, not surprisingly, they got a kick out of; the Hearth's Warming party in Canterlot and how I borrowed Joe's method of proposing, then the subsequent time travel.

We were all getting pretty tired, so we decided to call it a night. I was doing some final email and twitter checks while Rose made herself comfortable on my bed. “I still can't believe that it was all real.” I said aloud, getting my thoughts in the open. “I am so looking forward to going through with the wedding.”

Rose sat up on her haunches and smiled. “So am I. You still want to have it in Canterlot, right?”

I nodded. “Of course. I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be married at.”

A look of relief briefly swept across her face. “Umm… about your… 'Independence Day'?”

I took a sharp breath. “Right… I forgot that you don't like fireworks.”

She nodded. “And you guys have a bunch of them.”

I nodded understandingly. “Well… I could have either Joe or my dad do the fireworks and I can stay back and hold you.”

She smiled, closed her eyes and shook her head. “Okay. As long as you hold me the entire time.” She rubbed a hoof on her chin and looked at me curiously. “Why so many anyway?”

I shrugged. “Mostly because what we've got is illegal where Joe and Tiff live. It's gotten so bad out there that even sparklers are illegal.” Her irises shrank and her mouth opened slightly. “Other reason is because the vendor's deals are out of this world.”

I shut down my computer, switched off the light, crawled into bed and snuggled with Rose. “Others in the neighborhood will be shooting theirs off also, but I wouldn't worry about it too much, it's too wet right now for any fires to start.”

I could almost feel her roll her eyes. “That's very assuring.” She said sarcastically. I laughed, kissed her on the head and gently squeezed her closer to me. “Good night, Scotty.”

Author's Note:

Holy crap! It's been way too long since I updated this story. The next one will wrap up this story, then I'll move on to something else.

Also, sorry about all the horizontal lines.