Page generated in 0.021 seconds
Total duration
948 users online
1,902,501 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
>bath spounge
You scare me, sir, and that's usually my job! WELL! off to clop land!
...meh
The previous chapters were better.
Uh, it's "buried", not "berried". Unless his dick turned into a strawberry, which would be interesting.
4599854
You bet your ass I am.
5072673
With the way this story's going, I actually fully expect that.
5072647
How so?
I'm really looking for feedback here, figure out what's working and what isn't, so don't hold back.
5074932 I don't know.
There was just something about it that was... off.
I can't pin down why I love this fanfic. Maybe because, from the way it's written, it's clear the author is getting off to it. So, moments like the medical puns and "Sponsor!" (Chapter 3) and the wolf/hunter analogy (Chapter 2) paint an amiable but extremely warped portrait of this author.
But some parts of Chapter 4, e.g. the joke above, are written with a different voice, one clearly aiming for intentional comedy. Somehow this isn't as fun.
...oooor maybe I should stop trying to deconstruct fetish clopfics at 1:30 AM. All I know is, if you keep writing, I'll keep reading. Personally, I thought this chapter was a 10/10 to the others' 11/10. Also I totally managed to clop to it.
Now this chapter was...kind of weird. But accepting with porn-logic that going from completely cockhungry to more scared about your studies and handing your lover over to your best friend with the suggestion to fuck...it's kinda stretching my disbelief here.
Other than that, the story seems less random now, even with all these jokes. You also should run a spellcheck through everything before submitting, there were some...interesting mistakes.
On the plus side, this story is read easier, maybe the flow of it is better or something? Also, make more stupid Sonic references, the title made me chuckle.