Chapter 2: Homeward Bound
The walk out of the station was silent and awkward, not unlike Sombra's encounter with Maud over a year ago. In fact, now that Sombra thought about it, he was beginning to see where Maud got most of her personality(or lack thereof).
Pinkie's father, whose name he had yet to learn, was as stoic as they come. He didn't talk, he didn't smile, and the only thing that Sombra could get from the stallion was the fact that his profession revolved around rocks, though he already knew that because of Pinkie.
Sombra couldn't say much about Pinkie's mother, who was just as silent as her husband. However, her silence was one of out of awkwardness rather than out of resoluteness.
Though, despite the silence in the air, the only pony brave enough to rid the group of it's presence was Pinkie, who was hopping about in her usual, perky manner. How she managed to do so was a wonder to Sombra, though there had been many an occasion where he found Pinkie dozing the day away from spreading her unending cheer to everypony.
"Ohmigosh, I can't wait 'til we get home! Lime and Marble are gonna be there and we're all gonna get to bond together like we used to when we were little! Too bad Maud couldn't be there, but it's still really cool we get to see each other again!"
"Pinkie, dear, bouncing around is going to tire you out," Pinkie's mother told her in a chiding tone, the first thing she had said since her arrival, "you're going to want to slow down before your stallion has to carry you."
Pinkie gasped. "That's a great idea!"
Sombra wasn't prepared for Pinkie hopping onto his back, though it was far from the first time she had done so. He staggered a bit as Pinkie adjusted her position on his back and he tried to ignore the looks Pinkie's parents were giving him.
"Whoo-hoo! I'm so tall now!" Pinkie exclaimed as she perched herself on Sombra's head.
"Pinkie, you know that's not what I meant," Pinkie's mother scolded slightly, a maternal frown upon her features.
Sombra shrugged. "It's nothing new to me. Pinks isn't heavy, so it's not a problem."
"Aw, you're so sweet!" Pinkie cooed before she ruffled Sombra's mane in her usual loving manner.
Sombra brushed a stray lock out of his eyes as Pinkie's mother spared him a bewildered look. "You really don't mind her riding on your back?" she asked.
Sombra shrugged again. "If there's anything I learned since I met Pinkie, it's to accept things as they are, even when they don't make much sense."
"Like my Pinkie Sense!" Pinkie exclaimed, her rear held up predominantly as she waggled her curly tail.
"That, I still have trouble wrapping my head around," Sombra admitted, "Twitchy tails and flopping ears aren't really my strong point."
Pinkie giggled. "You'll have plenty of time to figure it out, Sombry!"
"Not even a lifetime is enough to understand you." Sombra looked up at Pinkie through his bangs. "But I'd be willing to spend it trying."
"Aw!" Pinkie snuggled into his mane. "When'd you get so sweet?"
"I've always been. It seems you haven't been paying attention." Sombra brushed another lock of hair out of his eyes. "Sweet Tartarus, why are you intent on blinding me?"
Pinkie tugged at his ear. "'Cause I caaaaaaaan!"
"You do realize that I'm your mode of transportation and that my sight is essential to both of our safety?" Sombra quirked an amused brow, which Pinkie wasn't able to see because of his mane.
"Eep!" Pinkie quickly ceased her mane ruffling. "Sorry!"
Sombra chuckled. "Just be careful up there. I don't want you falling off like last time."
Pinkie frowned at him. "I didn't mean to fall off!"
"Doesn't change the fact that you did, dear." Sombra chuckled as he felt her begin to prepare more mane ruffling. "If you ruffle my mane, you're bound to fall off."
"Am no-- AH!" Pinkie slipped off of Sombra's side and, if it weren't for Sombra's levitation spell, she would have crashed against the ground.
"Told you." Sombra chuckled at her frown as he placed her on the ground beside him. "You should really be more careful."
"Oh, look who's talking!" Pinkie exclaimed, "You get into dangerous stuff, too, ya know!"
"Do not!"
"Do, too!"
"Do not!"
"Do, too!"
"Do n--" Sombra sighed. "Oh, what's the use?"
Pinkie laughed. "I win!"
"Out of default, Pinks," Sombra reminded her.
"Oh, hush!"
As Sombra and Pinkie continued their usual couple banter, Pinkie's mother couldn't help but smile at the sight of them being together. Though she held some misgivings on their relationship, some based on traditional beliefs, it would be a lie if she said that they didn't have something between them.
'Is it possible that the stallion we've heard so much about isn't the monster we think him to be?' she thought, sparing them another glance.
He looked like he did in the newspaper articles: tall, dark, and exotically handsome. Stallions didn't usually have such dark coats or manes, nor did unicorns have such strange looking horns. She tried not to flinch as she caught sight of his fangs when he smiled at Pinkie, though the malice was gone from their glint.
'Perhaps he's not so bad...' She smiled herself when Sombra said something that made Pinkie laugh, though the meaning was lost on her.
But, as she turned her gaze to her husband, she caught him looking at Sombra with the same wariness she did. And she sighed as she took in the sight of his frown, which wasn't seen by the chatting couple.
He wasn't buying Sombra's affection. And something told her that it would only bring trouble in the coming days ahead.
* * *
"Gaaaaaah," Pinkie groaned, "I'm soooooo hungry..."
Sombra spared Pinkie an unappreciative look as she laid on the ground. "Pinks, you've been walking just fine for the past while. Why are you moping now?"
"Because fooooooood," Pinkie moaned, her head lifting off of the ground, "I just want to eeeeeeeeat..."
Sombra sighed as he levitated Pinkie onto his back. "You ate the entire train stock of pickle hay fries on the way here."
Pinkie perked up. "Hey, Mom, ya got any hay fries back at the house?"
Her mother sighed. "We're coming up the hill to the house now, dear. And I can't say for sure."
Pinkie groaned. "Nooooooo... I want some pickle hay fries..." She paused as she mulled over it. "Or do I just want pickles?"
"Why are you suddenly craving pickles, Pinkie?" Sombra questioned, "That's literally all you've wanted to eat for the past couple of days."
"I don't know!" Pinkie threw her hooves up in the air. "I guess I'm just being--"
Sombra stopped as he turned to look at Pinkie. "Don't you even finish that sentence with what I think you're going to say. I swear, I won't be able to handle it."
"--pickle-y!" Pinkie exclaimed, "Ha, ya get it?"
Sombra sighed as he hung his head. "I got it... Just like the first ten times..."
"You get used to old material recycling," Pinkie's mother told him, "it won't make it easier, but at least you won't get upset over it."
Sombra spared her a thoughtful look. "I can only imagine the many days of bad puns you had to endure. Do you have any idea how much this one puts me through on a daily basis?"
"Hey!" Pinkie smacked the back of his head playfully. "Don't get like that!"
"I have more knowledge on puns than I care to know." Sombra chuckled humorlessly. "'Hey, Sombra, I'm reading a book about anti-gravity--'"
"'It's impossible to put down!'" Sombra finished with Pinkie's mother, who shared a laugh with him.
"I was here first, Sombra," Pinkie's mother reminded him, "anyone you've heard, I've heard ten times over."
"I think you mean any pun you've heard!" Pinkie let out a loud snort laugh.
Sombra arched a brow. "Ya heard that one yet?"
"I lost count after 28. Either that, or I just stopped caring."
"Oooo, look, there's the house!" Pinkie exclaimed as she climbed on top of Sombra's head. "Look at how pretty it looks!"
Sombra looked in the direction in which Pinkie's hoof was pointing and he blinked in surprise. While Sombra was expecting the land to be barren and lifeless, which to a degree, it was, he soon saw the truth in Pinkie's words as the sun began to set over the hills, casting beautiful shadows across the many rocks that littered the ground.
"It's... peaceful," Sombra commented, noting the silence that came with the view.
Pinkie nodded. "Mm-hmm! It makes it super easy to farm!" She paused as she looked around. "Speaking of farming, where's everypony else? Aren't they supposed to be out?"
"We finished early to get ready for your visit," Pinkie's mother told her, "and before I forget, we got the guest room prepped for Sombra to sleep in."
Pinkie arched a brow. "When did we get a guest room?"
"We've gotten some renovations on the house while you've been gone," Pinkie's mother explained as they got closer to the house, "we have a couple more rooms added and now I have a sewing room."
Pinkie clapped her hooves. "Yay! I'm glad you got one!"
Pinkie's mother smiled. "It's something I've been wanting to get for awhile."
"So, do Marble and Lime have their own rooms now?" Pinkie asked.
"Yes, fortunately." Pinkie's mother turned to Sombra. "You wouldn't believe the squabbles those two got into. One morning it's about a hairbrush, the next it's about who stole whose geodes."
"Isn't Marble the only one who collects geodes?" Sombra questioned, remembering Pinkie mentioning it earlier.
"Yes, but Lime's taken to it, as well." She sighed. "You know it's bad when they have to initial their rocks."
Sombra rose a brow. "That's... something I don't think I've ever heard."
"It gets weirder," Pinkie told him with a giggle, "just you wait."
It was then Sombra realized that they had arrived at the house. And it was also then that he realized that Pinkie's father was unlocking the door.
And that he wasn't smiling.
'Oh, Tartarus...' Sombra thought, 'something tells me that this isn't going to end well...'
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Oooo this should be very good.
I wonder when the other shoe will drop about the reason behind Pinkie's craving and how fast Sombra will be; running from Papa Pie.
Ha. This is such a funny story! I like it! Keep writing more!
Pickle hay fries with alfalfa ice cream perhaps. Maw! Where's my shotgun?
Poor poor Sombra, let's hope for the best.
4609497
Unless he's chain teleporting like crazy, not nearly fast enough. I get the feeling Papa Pie is Old Testament level of Traditional.
4609631 It's Flee or Fight, not Flee and Think Rationally
4609777
Hence chain teleporting. Or, better described, teleporting in rapid line of sight jumps since by my headcannon it works like Nightcrawler's jumping trick. Either you can see where you're going or you run the risk of jumping halfway into something
4609794 With Sombra stuck in the wall, with his flanks in reach for a good bucking...
update faster!! please.
It's nothing really Sombra, it's just two girls arguing about who's got the bigger clevage, if you know what I mean.
..Shotgun wedding, anybody?
4610191
Called it.
I love the idea of how they will be explaining Sombra's parents ( AKA Lovey dovey daddy Mexico Sombra and evil momma Shadow Sombra) to Pinkies parents.
4610861
I CAN'T BREATHE!!!
4610991 *Pats on the back.* There,there. Don't die just yet. We need you to keep writing unlimited ammount of stories.
Pinkie Pie opened Pundora's Box.
Pinkie Pie: Ground zero for the Pundemic.
Pinkie Pie: Pundemonium Incarnate.
Pinkie Pie: The Punisher.
Pinkie Pie wears Punties.
Father not happy about her choice of stallion? Quick, Sombra, say something about crystals and how fascinating they are.
can't wait for the next chapter! and how long will it take before anyone notices Pinkie's weird eating habit
4610999 NOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
4609497 WHY DO I KEEP ON FINDING EVERYONE EVERYWHERE!!!
Also, amazing job Harmony!!!
to Sombra with a raised eyebrow.
Now they need to change
4612090 Because you are stalking me and doing a horrible job at staying hidden!
4611030 He's a father. Of course he's not happy about the choice. He'll never be happy about his daughters choice in stallions, and the best Sombra can hope for is a semi-coexistence where Pinkie's dad doesn't kill him with a shotgun every time they are in the same room together.
4612128 No, The Slending Angel is stalking me!
4612348 Riiiiight
Rule #1: At least one of the parents won't like you for the first 6 months. Most likely the one that shares your gender.
So better get used to proving yourself Sombra, because unless everyone's opinions of you line up, you're out.
First signs of being p-r-e-g-g-e-r-s. She probably won't realize until a week before the birth or the serving the birth starts. Lol.
I called it in the previous story and the first chapter, she's totally prego.
I loved the first one, and can't wait to read what happens when Pinkie meets the Pies... Oh.
This is going to be a disaster, isn't it?
You could say Sombra is in a bit of a pickle himself!
Brought to you by the Jack Aubrey School of Naval Gunnery and Punnery
craving for pickles? hmmmmmmmmmmm.
what if she's...
all we have to do is wait for morning sickness! and icecream! lots of ice cream!
4806026 You read my mind!!!!
It was at this moment I realized, there's one natural cause that comes to mind when a woman is craving certain foods.
5954687 Yeah I think the sound of little hooves will be coming in the future.
y'know sombra? pinkies acting strange, almost like she's... *GAAAAAAAAASP* LITTLE SOMBRAPIES!!
Oh... OH.... is she...?