I laughed before I even read it, all because of that cover image. That's a brilliant image.
This was nice. Short and catching. Although I do feel like the pacing was a bit off after she summoned Twily. They both certainly rushed things at that moment, but given the length and premise of this, I don't mind it. I don't think you really wanted to hammer out about five minutes of dialogue anyway until one of them would just say: "So, wanna screw?"
I think the explicit scene could have used just a little bit more explanation. Not much, but just a tiny bit. Then again, I'm rather nit-picky, so I obviously have to ask for more when it comes to that sort of scene.
I am rather sad that Twily disappeared though. But at the same time, I'm intrigued. Did she run away? Perhaps steal something? Or did she just vanish? Rather nice cliff-hanger questions, if you ever wanted to expand on this.
Which I actually want. This premise is always nice to see, and the way you set up the whole duplication spell thing is nice. Perhaps a power-crazy Twily going around and making Twilight's friends all bow to her or something. Aka, a whole lot of sex, which isn't bad at all. Again, this is just me, and I can understand it being a one-shot. I'd rather not demand a whole clop series of two Twilight's if you don't want to do it.
For the ending, and spoiler stuff, I thought it was a nice funny finish. Celestia certainly seems to know a lot, which leads me to believe that she might have used this spell before. Hint hint nudge nudge. I was actually thinking, and this ending might or might not be good compared to yours, but it would have been nice if when Celestia wrote back, it'd say something like: "Why did you send me the same letter twice?" What I'm implying of course, is that Twily would have sent her the exact same letter, perhaps hinting at something, the stuff I mentioned above about her running off or something. Damn, I really want this to be a series. But, I respect your decision.
In the end, I liked this, and you get a thumbs up.
4505202 Thank you very much for the kind words ^^ And, actually, this could probably turn out to be a good series, and I might actually turn it into one after reading your comment. And, actually, I had been thinking about writing further, and she'd find Twily now in bed with Spike instead, but I found it rather weird, as Spike's still a baby dragon and all.
4505212 i don't think it's weird to see twilight/spike fics People always hear the words "baby dragon" and think pedophile or something But what people forget is in the show spike is only a little younger than twilight maybe by only a year and since we don't know the exact age of any of the ponies it would be completely understandable for them to hook up
But thats just my personal opinion Not saying your opinion is wrong i just have been wanting to say this for a while
4505519 Well, I think it's more than a year. Twilight was going to be one of Celestia's private student, so I think she was more than 1 l when she hatched Spike :)
It happened to Starswirl the Bearded, whom was smart enough to outsmart himself.
That's something he couldn't do. It'd be a paradox. Especially if you're making it so that the duplicate knows what the real one is thinking.
“There’s something I’ve always wanted to try.” Twilight said. “Is it ok, if I call you Twily, though? It could get confusing for the readers, if we have the same name.” Twilight looked upwards as if she was looking at someone.
Only Pinkie can get away with breaking the forth wall.
Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student, You had sex with the duplicate, didn’t you?
I can't find the picture I want to use, but basically somepony says Celestia's name and she pulls up a magical screen to watch them. That's how she knew. She was clopping to the Twilights!
lol ;D Celestia knows everything ;DD
i really thought that Twily would be in the kitchen cooking something but no ...she was gone she seemed like a wonderful pony ;DDD
4505161 Yeah. She really was. I also miss her :(
I laughed before I even read it, all because of that cover image. That's a brilliant image.
This was nice. Short and catching. Although I do feel like the pacing was a bit off after she summoned Twily. They both certainly rushed things at that moment, but given the length and premise of this, I don't mind it. I don't think you really wanted to hammer out about five minutes of dialogue anyway until one of them would just say: "So, wanna screw?"
I think the explicit scene could have used just a little bit more explanation. Not much, but just a tiny bit. Then again, I'm rather nit-picky, so I obviously have to ask for more when it comes to that sort of scene.
I am rather sad that Twily disappeared though. But at the same time, I'm intrigued. Did she run away? Perhaps steal something? Or did she just vanish? Rather nice cliff-hanger questions, if you ever wanted to expand on this.
Which I actually want. This premise is always nice to see, and the way you set up the whole duplication spell thing is nice. Perhaps a power-crazy Twily going around and making Twilight's friends all bow to her or something. Aka, a whole lot of sex, which isn't bad at all. Again, this is just me, and I can understand it being a one-shot. I'd rather not demand a whole clop series of two Twilight's if you don't want to do it.
For the ending, and spoiler stuff, I thought it was a nice funny finish. Celestia certainly seems to know a lot, which leads me to believe that she might have used this spell before. Hint hint nudge nudge. I was actually thinking, and this ending might or might not be good compared to yours, but it would have been nice if when Celestia wrote back, it'd say something like: "Why did you send me the same letter twice?" What I'm implying of course, is that Twily would have sent her the exact same letter, perhaps hinting at something, the stuff I mentioned above about her running off or something. Damn, I really want this to be a series. But, I respect your decision.
In the end, I liked this, and you get a thumbs up.
4505202 Thank you very much for the kind words ^^ And, actually, this could probably turn out to be a good series, and I might actually turn it into one after reading your comment.
And, actually, I had been thinking about writing further, and she'd find Twily now in bed with Spike instead, but I found it rather weird, as Spike's still a baby dragon and all.
But, I might expand on it. Thank you a lot :D
Lol
4505212 i don't think it's weird to see twilight/spike fics
People always hear the words "baby dragon" and think pedophile or something
But what people forget is in the show spike is only a little younger than twilight maybe by only a year and since we don't know the exact age of any of the ponies it would be completely understandable for them to hook up
But thats just my personal opinion
Not saying your opinion is wrong i just have been wanting to say this for a while
4505519 Well, I think it's more than a year. Twilight was going to be one of Celestia's private student, so I think she was more than 1 l when she hatched Spike :)
4505616 Tomaydo Tomahhdo :P
4505719 Hehe, sorry ^^
Oh god! Celestia's response had me cracking up!
That's something he couldn't do. It'd be a paradox. Especially if you're making it so that the duplicate knows what the real one is thinking.
Only Pinkie can get away with breaking the forth wall.
I can't find the picture I want to use, but basically somepony says Celestia's name and she pulls up a magical screen to watch them. That's how she knew. She was clopping to the Twilights!
6330631
And another thing
Wow, you find your double ganer, and the first thing you say is "Wow, I'm hot" best first impression