My Little Pony: Idiocy Is Magic

by Jaohni

The Clash Of The Flyers

The Clash Of The Flyers
Dash pulled in front of me, hoofs angled 'at least that's what I'll tell myself so i can sleep at night' I thought slightly ironically. Anyway I followed Dash into her cloud house, considering that i was used to living in a 3 story house, that was really more of a mansion than anything it seemed somewhat small, but I walked into her living room, noticing that I was walking on clouds, I decided to ask her about that later, but then she said a bit energetically, no more frantically?

"Sorry about the mess, anyway make yourself at home, you can take the bed" This perturbed me as I could never sleep in someone's bed if they had to sleep on a couch

"I could never let a lady sleep on the couch, so I'll take the couch" Dash looked like she wanted to argue, but finally realized that I wasn't the type to give up, when she realized I said lady, and blushed a bit.

"Uh..right! anyway I'm going upstairs so YEAH!" she said that with a lot of nervous volume, so this confused me a bit, since I was still tired from the constant run and gun stuff from the day so I decided to get to sleep, despite it being only around 5-o-clock, according to me internal timer, so passing into sleep on the couch I was careful not to damage my new-found wings as I drifted off

"thanks bro, I " said my sister in my dreams. As much as it pained me to see her again, after what happened, I still rejoiced at seeing a familiar face, even if it was a six year old one, but just as I was starting to tear up, something touched my wing, and I jumped off the couch doing a three sixty rotation in addition to the back-flip as I caught my attacker by the neck putting it into an arm hold

"Wait, what?"
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Shay's perspective, 16:05, military clock, Equestria

I was looking around Sugarcube Corner, the bakery run by two ponies named Mr. and Mrs. Cakes. Pinkie worked, and lived, in the bakery, often holding all sorts of parties and gatherings. But enough about the surroundings, I was in a land full of ponies. PONIES!!! That's the best thing that could've ever happened to me! Though, I was confused about one thing. My friend, James. I wonder whatever happened to him. It's been a long time since I seen him since dropping into Equestria. And although I should've been worried about my friends well being, I was too busy having fun with my favorite pony Pinkie Pie. The problem with Pinkie is that she's really really energetic. Inhumanly energetic. IMPOSSIBLY energetic. She must store all this energy until she needs it. I'd hate to see her on a sugar rush.

But all this sunshine and rainbows was, surprisingly, even to myself, was getting dull. The way Pinkie swallowed a cake whole no longer had the same effect it did on me before. I was sitting around in the bakery, twirling a chef's knife on my finger, when Pinkie came in with a cupcake, in an attempt to cheer me up. It was nice, and I appreciated the gesture, but I was getting sick of all the sweets. I needed actual food. Human food. But, being a realm dominated by talking herbivores, it's hard to find many human foods without having to kill something. I sighed and pushed away the blue-iced cupcake and said to Pinkie, with a rather bored tone, "Sorry Pinkie. I'm just not hungry." She stared at me, obviously worried, which to me was strange. Seeing Pinkie NOT smiling or laughing, and rather expressing worry, it gave me the chills.

She came up and, almost like a cat, gently rubbed her mane against my arm. I smiled a little and hugged her. I sighed then said, "Sorry for being so off, Pinkie. I'm just bored." She smiled and hopped up and down. "Well I got something we can do!" She ran out the door, then looked back and giggled. "Come on!" I ran after the pink bouncing pony and we left to do whatever it is she had in mind. We went to the local joke shop, and Pinkie got a load of strange toys and items used in pranks.

She told me the plan in private, then we ran out to go prank Ponyville. From confetti shooting out of rain gutters, to painted flowers, we went almost everywhere with some sort of joke. Finally, Pinkie pointed to a large house of clouds, with rainbows decorating the outsides. She giggled and whispered to me mischievously, "And now to prank Rainbow Dash!" I rubbed my hands together, eager to prank her. I knew her well. She was a master of practical jokes, just like my pink partner-in-crime. Me and Pinkie started to get the prank ready as fast as we could. Of course, we had to convince Twilight so we could use her hot-air balloon. Finally, we arrived near Rainbow's place, around 12:am then set off our prank.

"AHH" Screamed Rainbow Dash, falling out of her own house, before we could even set off our prank, when she twisted mid-fall and landed gracefully near me, when James jumped out of the house at high speed, diving at his top speed

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Jame's perspective 00:16, Dash's place
"Wait, what?" said Dash as I did a second flip, flinging her out of her own house "AHHHH!!!!" screamed a now falling Dash, I chased after her, as quickly as I could, tucking into a sort of shell as I sped down trying to catch up, I heard the whistle of the wind in my ears, and my Seikukken (martial artist technique, for detecting anything around a person, highly advanced) detected a fast approaching wall when I realized it was the ground and pulled up, spinning out of my 'shell' and landed, coincidentally right beside Dash

"R-right uh s-sorry about that" I said, dejectedly, while looking away. What I didn't tell them was that I was practically in tears, thanks to that dream, that bloody dream that always seemed to put me in a bad mood

"Uh, it's well...fine" Said a certain cyan pegasus who coincidentally chose that moment to enter into my field of view, I to this day don't know what she saw, but it seemed to put her into a state of shock, "right well uh, I guess we should go back inside, huh?"

"Same dream?" said a somewhat subdued voice that belonged to none other than Shay.

"Same dream." I said with absolute finality as I prepared to fly to Dash's house.

"what are you guys talking about?" said Dash, somewhat reinvigorated to a state closer to her original self

"uh, it's...nothing" I said biting my lip as I flew, knowing she would press me for answers, answers I would rather leave hidden. By this time I had reached the house in the clouds, and assumed that Shay had packed up and left, as I sort of wanted to tell Dash, for the first time ever I wanted to tell someone other than my three best friends, naturally I chastised myself for this 'she's a horse man, a horse, you can't get close to a horse!' I was about to go back to sleep when I noticed Rainbow looking at me in concern, and I sighed, and sat down

"You aren't going to give up on looking for an answer are you?" I said, really hopefully, for once looking a horse in the eye.

"not on your life!" said Dash, and I almost lost it, having to tell the story after all of these years...

"Fine, sit down, it's a long story." I took a breath to compose myself, my eyes tearing up "I had a dream about my little sister, and I remember the day, a really important day, she had decided to go swinging around on the vines between our tree-houses on the farm, and I told her that the vines weren't ready yet, and that I had braid a few together, but she ran up to the place anyway and started swinging across, she said it was okay, that she wasn't falling, but then the vine snapped and she fell, far, and fast, she impaled herself on one of the branches on the way down, and i managed to go all the way through her, by the time I caught her she was already bleeding badly and I got her back to the house, where we patched her up, my parents were shocked, but we headed down to the hospital back in Saskatoon, and we got there in time, fortunately, where the determined that no major wounds or anything like that occurred so she was cleared to go home in an hour, so she went home with us, they said she needed plenty of bed rest though, so back at our mansion in Saskatoon we were going to sleep when she came to my room and asked if she could sleep in my bed, because she was having nightmares, normally I wouldn't have, but I decided to let her, and she climbed in and said "I love you"...that" I said pausing to choke up a bit " was the last thing she said to me...in the morning she was dead...she had died of internal bleeding that the doctors missed" We sat there silently as I teared up a bit, but didn't quite cry, Dash looked really, sympathetic and said

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know" she started to extend her hoof toward me but then pulled it back, I mean really, what are you supposed to do after a story like that.

"I'm going to uh go to sleep. bye!" she said that yet again in a state of shock, and I felt horrible, I mean really, what kind of jerk tells that kind of a story to someone else, STUPID!. I did finally get to sleep again, but I didn't have the dream, thankfully, as if I saw that blonde hair, that friendly smile, or those blue eyes, I would probably break down on the spot, really, I would. I woke again, around oh-five hundred hours, so I decided to head out again, trying to put on my whole mysterious and dark demeanor, hoping not to run into Dash later on, as I heard hear steady, deep breathing in the house (not that it was that hard, I mean, she snores like...well like a horse!). I was flying when I saw Tom running from Twilight, the latter of which said "oh come on, just one try?" and Tom didn't look receptive so I thought I would check what the fuss was about and landed around the tree in the town we were in 'note to self, ask the name of the town' I thought, as i asked Twilight

"So...why is Tom running away again?" I said this from a place Twilight hadn't seen me from, so I gave her quite a shock (the look on her face was priceless, so definitely worth it!) anyway she replied, exasperated

"I wanted to try the wing spell on him, and see what happened!" my eyes were literally twitching in annoyance as I considered the possibility of her using that spell on him, as it really had hurt like a bitch, on the other hand 'Tom does owe me five bucks...' I silently mused but then I finally gave Twilight the harsh look that I thought suited the situation

"I literally passed out from the pain, and you want to use it on my friend?" I said this a bit angrily when Twilight realized that I was still p.o.ed at her for the whole 'wings' thing, so she said

"Oh, don't worry about it, I think I perfected it, so that the spell won't hurt the person it's cast on" she said that a little sheepishly when my equinophobia kicked in (Needless to say it was kind of getting old)

"R-right uh I d-dont th-think that y-you sh-should use i-it on h-him" I really hated how equinophobia changed my life so much here...anyway I looked away so that I could actually say this with confidence

"Gotta fly, see ya later" I only spared a look back and my signature two fingered wave after I finished speaking, and then I flew off, quite fast actually, when I decided to look for George, as I heard a large shout and thought drily 'Great timing."

Comments

[Chill Mists(Chilly)]

It would suck so so much to have equinophobia in a country full of equines. It would be like I suddenly found myself in a country full of spiders. I would not be happy.

[Jaohni]

465053 *cue spider riders theme music*