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5. Tricks with Time

PRESENT DAY

A moment passed as I tried to comprehend exactly what had just happened.

I’d slumped my shoulders.

‘Yes, I know this, but was it mental or physical?’ I asked myself, too scared to try and move again.

Suddenly my hand twitched. My eyes shot to the limb in front of me. Now that I think about it, that also felt a bit weird, like I was actually moving my eyes.

I stared at the offending hand until another sensation faded into my body.

My chest really hurt.

‘What’s going on now?!’ I called out to nobody in particular.

When the feeling seemed like it would kill me, my body reacted on instinct and I let out a gasp of air, only to pull as much of the stuff back into my lungs as I could.

‘That settles it. I’m back.’ my subconscious confirmed.

My hands shot to my neck as it tried to transport the large amount of air. In the process of doing this I fell to one knee, proving once and for all that I could really move again.

After a few minutes of breathing, I began to think about what might have caused this. I went ahead and assumed that Discord had let me out. The only reason of concern would be if he had struck a deal, but he hadn’t asked anything of me, so that meant I was truly free.

The first thing I did was look around, just to make sure that nobody had seen my… uncouth display of weakness. I had assured myself that I was alone, so I stood up, my posture never better, and patted myself down. I made sure that none of my pockets were folded in on themselves, my shirt was straight and flat, my tie was tight, and finally, what time it was.

I opened my pocket watch, looking at the face of the timepiece. It visually read 4:37, though I knew it was 9:20 in the morning. “Hmm… just over a thousand years.” I mused. “Looks like I was off by a few centuries. I wonder why.” I snapped the watch shut with a quick flick of the wrist and started walking in the direction of the exit.

I walked down the path with a swagger that only a refined chap such as myself could have. When I finally did reach the exit there were two guards standing in gold-plated armor. I walked past and gave the stallions a quick nod and an offhand “Good day”. I didn’t look back to see their faces, I was sure that they were masks of shock and confusion. It took them a good ten seconds to decide to attack me.

I heard the rapid clopping of hooves behind me steadily get closer. At the last second I spun around, whipping my coattail into the air. They were surprised and hesitated during the final step that would take their spear point directly into my chest, which was all I needed.

I whipped my watch out and clicked the crown with my thumb. As the stallions froze in their running positions, one with a hoof on the ground the other seemingly suspended in the air, I cracked a smile. This was going to be fun.

I placed my goggles over my eyes to protect them from anything airborne, or the air itself for that matter, and quickly walked behind the two stallions. I studied their positions, seeing what I might be able to accomplish with their bodies. Suddenly, inspiration struck!

I pulled the helmet off of both their heads, placing one on the ground in front of the hovering stallion and the other on my own head. I walked behind the Flamingo Guard and poked the hoof that would come down next. A small indent formed where my finger was, showing the amount of force that would be applied as soon as I continued time. I walked around the two, wondering what other tricks I could pull.

I didn’t want to hurt them… much, I’m not a monster!

Well, I am to the ponies, but you know what I mean!

I took a good look at the two stallions, making last moment observations of their poses. I decided that there wasn’t enough funny here, so I took a stroll through the palace.

‘If I’m not mistaken, the kitchen should be right around… here!’ I thought as I turned a corner to see two wide open doors. Just beyond were a dozen ponies working in what we humans would call a gourmet bakery. I took a quick look around and found the delicacies I was looking for. I quickly snatched them up and walked back to the small clearing I was in moments before.

-----
IN THE ROYAL KITCHEN

Rosemary Butter is a mare of sophisticated taste. She knows how to cook a soup that would send your taste buds to nirvana; her bread had the slightest hint of butter that perfectly balanced the crisp and the cream; and the one thing that made her stand out, if anything else, was her pies. Often times she’d find them missing when one of her line cooks got hungry, which is why she wasn’t surprised that two of her delicious morsels were slipped right out from under her muzzle.

Literally.

She’d just finished baking two pies, one a simple apple while the other was a sweet cherry. She only pulled them out of the oven a minute ago, when she took a big whiff of the circles of crust and filling. Once she came down from her euphoria and opened her eyes the pies were gone.

“Ok, who did it?” she called to the rest the staff. “Who took my pies?”

The room became fairly silent, only the ponies doing something important that warranted their full attention didn’t stop and stare at the mare. But as all this happened, nopony took responsibility for the stolen snacks.

“I know somepony did! Now who was it?” she called again. Still, none of the ponies took the blame.

“Fine! I’ll just make new ones.” She said more to herself than those around her.

She didn’t hate having to make more; it was her special talent, after all, and she loved baking things, especially sweet things, for others and herself! It was one of the only things she took joy in, which is why the extra work didn’t dampen her mood in the slightest.

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BACK IN THE FIELD

There they stood, exactly where I left them only a minute before. I judged the trajectory and placed the pies on the ground in just the right place. I took a moment to admire my handiwork. I’d finished this in a relatively short amount of time… well, from my point of view, anyway. As I took in the last of the prank I’d just put into place I pulled out my watch.

‘Here we go!’ I thought as I thumbed the crown once more.

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