I've Found Somepony to Carry Me Home
I stared at the non-alcoholic beer in front of me, disgusted in myself for having ordered such a beverage. When Wednesday finally rolled around I was ecstatic to make it back to the bar and taste the metallic bite of alcohol once more. I’d proudly strolled into the bar, sat down in my favorite stool, looked the bartender dead in the eye and ordered something non-alcoholic.
I swear, the guy looked at me like I belonged in a mental institute. I probably did, all things considered. Seriously, what had possessed me to order something that wouldn’t impair my reasoning and judgment?
Swirling the beverage in its glass, I sighed. Maybe it was best that I’d ordered this. After last week, I wasn’t exactly keen on getting another monster hangover.
The noise of the bar pounded all around. There was a massive crowd right behind me, partaking in the unrestrained revelry of a twenty-first birthday party. The tiny stage toward the center of the bar was set up with all the usual instruments for karaoke night, but the band was absent, so nopony had gone up yet.
I wasn’t really focusing on anything else. I had retreated into my mind, attempting to elicit the one memory that had eluded me for a full week. The name of the aqua-marine mare from last Wednesday. Try as I might, barely anything was coming to me. I wanted to say her name was Cactus – not entirely sure why – but I had a feeling that was wrong.
As a result, part of me dreaded the return of the straight mare. I was almost hoping she wouldn’t show up so I wouldn’t embarrass myself. Another part of me was hoping she did come back. Last Wednesday had been a blast for me, and if she became a regular I could look forward to many more Wednesdays like it.
Lost in my thoughts, I instinctively took up the glass and pushed to my lips. The foul concoction that assaulted my taste buds made me gag.
The bar tender shot me a glance of concern as I choked on the non-alcoholic beverage. When I started to calm down, he wryly raised his eyebrow at me.
“No, it’s good,” I said, answering his unspoken question. I coughed loudly. “Ambrosial even. Best decision I ever made.” I raise the glass of alcohol impersonation towards him in a mock toast, press it to my lips again, and take another sip.
The bartender continued to stare at me as I drank the noxious liquid. Half the glass entered my mouth before I faked a swallow. He finally looked away to tend to the needs of other patrons. When he did, I ripped the glass away from my mouth, turned, and spat the contents onto the floor.
“Blargh,” I groaned, wiping my tongue with my hoof to rid myself of the taste. “Worst decision of my life.”
Bringing my head up, I managed to pick up the whispering sound of the bar door creeping open. I expected it to be Cactus – or whatever her name was. Until I figured it out I’m going to use that – but to my shock it wasn’t. It was Derpy.
The gray mare who usually kept to a plain face and a spot in the back of the bar had been transformed for tonight. She wore a pale blue gown that hugged her body and exemplified her curves. I could tell she had been to a salon to fix up her hair. What used to fall across the top of her head with dullness now rivaled the style of Manehattan elites. Even in the poor lighting of the bar, I saw Derpy had forsaken her ritual of going all-natural in favor of some make-up to exemplify the features of her face.
If I weren’t gay, I’d be ogling every part of her. With a slight glance around the bare I could tell that every lesbian was currently enamored by the wall-eyed pegasus. She blushed when she realized all the attention that was now on her, then strolled through the bar taking a seat on my left.
“Wow, Derpy, how many straight mares did you turn gay on your way here?”
She giggled. “Only two. So what are you drinking?”
“Non-alcoholic beer, if you can believe it,” I told her. She bites her lip, thinking for a second.
“Hey, Tap,” She yelled to the bartender, using his officially unofficial nickname. He turned, nodding his head to silently ask for her order. “I’ll have what he’s having.”
I blinked in surprise. Derpy was going sober tonight? What has the world come to?
“Really?” I asked her. She grinned.
“Yeah, I can’t afford another hangover like last week,” she admited, her drink sliding down the way. “Turns out, coming home drunk doesn’t set a good example for kids.”
“I never would’ve guessed,” I replied with light sarcasm. Derpy laughed under her breath.
Okay, what’s going on here? I asked silently. This is the longest conversation I’ve ever held with Derpy, and this is the first one she instigated… what’s up with her tonight?
The pieces clicked together suddenly. The make over, the sobriety, the ingratiating with me. It was all so clear.
Derpy was hoping Cactus was going to show up tonight.
“So, do you know if Lightning Dust was coming tonight?” Derpy asked the question as the realization comes to me.
“Lightning Dust?” I inquired out loud. Then I remembeedr. Cactus’s name wasn’t Cactus; it was Lightning Dust. Wow, I’m stupid. “Oh, her. I don’t know… maybe.”
Derpy frowned a little upon hearing this, clearly disheartened by the answer.
“What’s got you all curious about some random pony?” I asked, dreading the oh-so-obvious answer.
The dressed-up mare fidgeted. Her drink slides right in front of her snout, but she doesn’t make a move for it. One eye glanced at me as she spoke.
“Well, I… I kinda… like her.”
“Ah,” I said with a small, toothy smile. Internally, I screamed a little bit.
Way to go, Rider, I scolded myself. What do you think the odds are that Lightning Dust will reciprocate Derpy’s feelings?
I didn’t know the gray pegasus in front of me too well, but I did know this: when she fell for somepony, she fell hard. And she had just fallen for Lightning.
I knew it was all my fault too. It had been me who convinced Lightning to flirt with Derpy, and now the poor mare was on the fast track for heartbreak because of my stupid drunken idea. I couldn’t break the news to her now… I just couldn’t, but waiting would be even worse. I panicked and said the first thing that popped into my head.
“You know Derpy, maybe you should just give Lightning some space,”
Her head snapped to look at me, crossed eyes expressing confusion.
“It’s just,” I continued. “Lightning isn’t exactly in the best place right now… the last thing she needs is to be in a relationship with somepony.”
“What’s the matter with her?” Derpy asked, a mixture of concern and disappointment.
I paused, wondering if this is something I should even tell a random bar patron. “Lightning’s dream was to be a Wonderbolt.” I whispered so nopony else could hear.
“Was?” Derpy asked.
“The Academy tossed her to the curb.”
“That’s horrible!”
“Yeah, and I think with all the emotional turmoil she’s facing, getting a marefriend is the last thing on her mind.” The very last, I added silently.
“Oh,” Derpy answered. She bit her lip and looked away. I proceeded with damage control.
“Look, maybe for now you should just try being her friend.”
“I don’t know, Rider,” Derpy says. “I… I really like her,”
A chuckle escaped my mouth before I could suppress it. Derpy shot me an angry glance.
“Sorry,” I said quickly. “But you can’t be serious. You shared one drunken kiss with Lightning and now you ‘really like’ her?”
A sheepish grin crept onto Derpy’s face. “Maybe…”
I shook my head slowly. “Can you at least try to take it slow? Get to know her a little before you start saying stuff like that.”
“And then?” Derpy asked, not needing to state her entire question.
“Maybe…” The word slipped out by pure impulse. The gray mare smiled slightly. I found myself hoping that my illusion would hold up.
“I guess I got all dressed up for nothing then, huh?” Derpy said softly.
“Try telling that to the two mares you turned gay,” I replied. My horrible joke sent her into a laughing fit, and I’m pretty sure only half of it was pity fueled. I brought my glass up to my lips to hide my shamed expression. The alcohol impersonator slid hallway down my throat before I realized what I was drinking.
The only thing that stopped me from gagging was the pony who sat down next to me at that very instant.
“Hey,” Lightning grunted at me. She waved towards Tap, silently demanding he take her order.
“Hi,” I said. “What took you so long?”
“I had to find this place first,” Lightning told me. “And I wasn’t about to ask directions to a gay bar.”
“Fair enough.” I shrugged.
Lightning ordered a cider when Tap finally got around to her. She’s different this time around. Last week she’d been angry enough to bite my head off, but now she was so… indifferent.
She sat with ennui, sluggishly blinking and moving only when she had to. It seemed as if all emotion had been drained away. Her Wonderbolt’s cadet uniform was gone as well.
Derpy was also looking at Lightning, though I highly doubted we were noticing the same things about her. Lightning eventually caught on to the fact that she was being stared at. Her eyes widened in remembrance when she saw the gray mare two bar stools away.
“Hi,” Derpy said through her blush.
“Uhhh…” came Lightning’s intelligent reply. I nudged her with my fetlock.
“Say something,” I whispered through my teeth.
“Hey Derpy,” Lightning mustered.
“I… uh… you never called,” Derpy stammered.
“Yeah… I…” Lightning sighed. “Look, Derpy I don’t want to da-”
“Hey look at that,” I interjected. “The band’s finally arrived.” Lightning and Derpy both shot me glares. I leaned back slightly.
“Lightning, I know about your… position,” Derpy said, dancing around the words. “I understand completely.”
“You do?” Lightning asked, surprised. “It’s not awkward or anything?” I realized suddenly that Derpy was talking about the Academy, but that wasn’t what Lightning thought.
“It’s not. I... Do you think we could still be friends?”
The word threw the mare for a loop. She blinked a few times before comprehending. I recalled what she’d told me last week about never having friends before; such a blatant offer must have been completely foreign to her.
“F-friends?” Lightning stammered, testing out how the word sounds.
“I understand if you don’t want too,” Derpy mumbleed into her fake beer, ears drooping. “I just thought-”
“Of course we can be friends,” Lightning finally managed.
Derpy’s ears shot up. “Really?”
“Yeah really!” Lightning exclaimed. “I can’t believe it… my first friend…”
“Ahem,” I coughed loudly. “Forgetting somepony?”
Lightning laughed a little. “Hey, you’re my friend too, its just Derpy asked first, that makes it more official.”
I grinned, not the least bit offended. Everything had gone so smoothly that I couldn’t believe it. Derpy thought Lightning was gay, and was content to keep her affections silent. Meanwhile, Lightning believed Derpy thought she was straight, and had just agreed to be her friend. It was all too perfect. Smiling to myself, I glanced over at the gray mare. She didn’t look as excited as I felt; in fact, she looked confused.
“What do you mean I’m your first friend?” Derpy asked.
“Oh… I uh, didn’t have any friends growing up,” Lightning explained.
“That’s terrible! You must’ve been so lonely.”
“It wasn’t that bad…” Lightning said, instinctively reaching for her mug of cider. Both Derpy and I could tell she was lying.
“Well it doesn’t matter,” I declared. “Your childhood’s over and you’ve got friends now.” I raised my glass of non-alcoholic beer. “To drinking buddies!”
“Hear, hear,” Derpy chanted, clinking her glass into mine. Lightning watched the ritual for a moment before realizing she had to raise her mug as well. When she finally did, we all tipped are heads back and took a good long chug.
That is, until Derpy and I did a spit take.
“Gah! That tasted like piss!” Derpy exclaimed. I gagged in agreement. Tap shot us a dirty look as our reaction attracted the attention of some bar patrons.
“Relax guys it’s alcohol,” Dust said. “It doesn’t have to taste good as long as you get drunk.”
“Unfortunately this stuff won't do that,” I muttered.
“Wait, you’re drinking non-alcoholic?” Lightning asked. Derpy and I nodded, still reeling from the taste. “Well what the hell for?”
“I don’t want a hangover, that’s why,” I replied.
Lightning sniggered, “Wuss.” She tipped her head back, draining the cider. My eyes narrowed at her challenge.
“Tap,” I called as she finishes. “We’re going to need three more ciders over here!”
“Now we’re talking!”
I had no idea what time it was. The analog clock on the wall was telling, but my eyes refused to comprehend it. I was too drunk to remember what it meant when the big hand was on the eleven and the little hand was on the six. Oh well, it couldn’t be that late. Right?
“I just…” Lightning blinked slowly. “I just gotta say… you guys are my best friend –hic – in the whole world. Ya know that?” She fell off her bar stool and onto the floor.
“We’re your only friends Lightning,” I informed her. Derpy rushed over to pick Lightning up. The drunk mare hobbled back to her stool and sat down. She looked in my general direction.
“You don’t have to – hic – remind me, Derpy,”
“I’m Rider,” I deadpanned. Her golden irises struggle to focus on me.
“Oh yeah,” she said. Her hoof goes for her cider mug, but I block her.
“I think you’ve had enough,” I told her.
We were all passed our limit for tonight. Derpy had politely sipped her two beers in between conversation, refusing to guzzle them down. I was losing my common sense, but at least managed to stop at five.
Lightning on the other hoof, was hammered. I hadn’t been counting or anything, but I’d say at least ten ciders had gone her way. Her basic motor skills were beginning to fail her, evidenced by her inability to sit without falling.
The band was packing up for the night, and the birthday party had long since left. Only the late-nighters were still hanging around. A quick scope of the room told me that most of them were mares.
Great, I thought. So much for getting a bucking buddy for the night. The back of my mind filed away the fact that this was my second night in a row where I would be going home alone.
One mare sauntered over our way though, beer in hoof. She was aimed right at the pegasus in the blue dress.
“What’s up,” The mare said, sliding between me and Derpy. Her crazy blue and white mane got in my face, and I found myself turning and spitting out hairs.
“Oh… Hi.” Derpy greeted sweetly.
“Name’s Cloudchaser,” the blue pegasus smoothly slurred. “What’s yours?”
“Derpy.”
“Well, Derpy,” Cloudchaser said. “You are extremely hot, you know that?”
Derpy’s gray cheeks turned red, “Oh… geeze, well… thank you… I…”
“My place isn’t too far from here,” Cloudchaser began, her foreleg wiggling around Derpy’s shoulder. “If you want we could...”
“Thank you,” Derpy replied, shaking off her hoof. “But no thank you.”
“Ah… okay then,” Cloudchaser said through her teeth. I smirk.
“Ooooh!” I hollered jauntily without thinking. Cloudchaser turned to face me. “You just got vagected!”
Suddenly my face jerked to the right, a stinging pain on my cheek. Cloudchaser walked off, miffed. It was then I realized she’d slapped me.
“Oww,” I said slowly, rubbing my face. “That bucking hurt!”
Derpy giggled. “Well you kinda deserved it.”
“Am I missing something?” Lightning asked. “What was that thing you said?”
“Vagected?” I asked.
“Yeah that… what does it mean?”
“It’s the female version of a cockblock,” I told her. She blinked slowly. “You could also call it twat swat, or clam jam, or clitorference...” I continue.
Lightning raised her eyebrow at me. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you?”
“More than I had realized,” I admitted. “Still though, Derpy, that was a pretty serious vagection.”
“Please stop using that word,” she replied. I held my hooves sluggishly in surrender.
“Even so,”
“I guess it was,” Derpy said, looking down. “I didn’t mean to be rude, but I just wasn’t into her. I've just recently decided to save myself for somepony.”
“Well whoever she is,” Lightning Dust said, grabbing her cider before I can stop her. “She’s a lucky mare.”
“She sure is,” Derpy replied with a slightly enamored tone. I noticed her staring at Lightning a little more than she probably should be if they were “just friends”. I blinked with slow realization, but couldn't get a word in edgewise.
“Sweet Celestia it’s getting late,” Derpy exclaimed. “I better be getting home soon.”
Even though I had no idea what the time was, I nodded in agreement. Derpy probably had to relieve her foalsitter before too long.
“Guess we’ll see you next week then,” I said.
“Yeah…” Derpy agreed, chewing the inside of her cheek. She started to walk away, but stopped. “You know, a week is too long. Do you guys want to hang out on Saturday?”
“What, you mean here?” Lightning asked.
“No… how about…” she pauses. “How about a picnic?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “There aren’t too many good places in the city for one of those.”
“We don’t have to do it in the city,” Derpy retorted. “We can do near my home in Ponyville.”
I mulled over the offer for a bit. It did sound kinda nice after I thought about it for a while.
“I didn’t know there was a sky city called Ponyville,” Lightning interjected. We both stared at her. “What?”
“Ponyville is on the ground, Lightning.” Derpy told her.
“The… ground?” Lightning asked weakly.
“Yeah you know,” I said. “The big rocky surface of Earth. If you need directions, just fly downward. Trust me you can’t miss it.”
“I know what the ground is, Rider.” Lightning snapped. “I just… don’t know if I want to go to a picnic down there.”
Derpy’s ears drooped with sadness. “Oh… why not?”
“It just feels… inconvenient.” Lightning said in a pitiful attempt at lying.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of the ground,” I accused. She shot me a heated glance.
“No!” Lightning heatedly replied. “I’ve just… never been there.”
Derpy and I both gasped simultaneously.
“As in, never ever?” I asked. Lightning nodded a little, slightly ashamed.
“The closest I ever got was when we were on some mountains back at the… Academy,” she finally mumbled.
“Dang,” I said slowly. Were there really pegasi who had spent their entire lives in Cloudsdale? It was possible and everything, but it sounded so far-fetched. Every pegasus I’d ever talked to had been to the surface on multiple occasions… heck, most of them even lived down there like Derpy.
“Well, now’s your chance to see what it’s like!” Derpy said, a smile on her face.
“I don’t know,” Lightning replied.
“Don’t be a chicken,” I taunted her. A hoof flies toward me, making contact with my shoulder. “Ow.”
“Don’t call me a chicken,” Lightning hissed drunkenly. She turned to Derpy. “I’ll go,”
“Great!” Derpy exclaimed, elated. She looked at me. “Rider, are you coming too?”
I rubbed my shoulder, now hurting as much as my cheek. “Free food? Of course I’ll be there!”
“All right. I’ll meet you guys at Ponyville’s lake around noon. You guys know where that is?”
Lightning - obviously - shakes her and so do I. Derpy sighed.
“Well, it’s the only lake in Ponyville,” she informed us. “Can’t miss it, I promise.”
“Okay,” I said. “I guess we’ll see you then.”
“Bye,” Lightning called.
“Good-bye.” Derpy waved as she walks off.
Lightning stuck her mug back in her mouth, and I decided I didn't have the energy to try and stop her.
“Last call for drinks!” Tap suddenly yelled. “Then I’m kicking all of you out!”
“One more!” Lightning demanded from her seat. A mug of cider slid her way. She greedily stuck it in her mouth, while I finally had enough.
“Can you even pay for all the beer you're drinking?” I ask her. Lightning freezes mid-gulp, paralyzed with fear.
“No,” she glumly admitted after swallowing.
I sighed. “Looks like I’m going to have to bail you out again.”
She smiled, “Thanks dude.”
“I swear this is the last time I pay for your beer,” I told her, reaching for my wallet. “You’re like a bucking sponge with this stuff.”
“I guess I have been drinking a lot,” Lightning admitted, guiltily staring at her half-finished cider. I noticed this as I lay some bits on the counter.
“Hey Lightning, is everything okay?”
“Yeah Rider, everything’s bucking peachy,” she heated said looking away.
I wasn’t exactly an expert on mares, but I was inclined to believe that that meant everything was not okay.
“You know, Lightning, I am your friend, and that means more than just getting drunk with you on Wednesdays. If you ever want to talk, or need help or anything…”
“Help?!” Lightning angrily shouted, turning towards me. I backed away slowly. “What makes you think I want your help?”
“Well I-”
“What, do you think I’m some meek and pathetic filly who can’t do anything by herself? Is that it?” The remaining ponies in the bar looked our way.
“No, I never-”
“Well I’ve got news for you Rider,” Lightning shouted. She stood and wobbled a little, her wings flared in anger. “This filly doesn’t need help from you or anypony else! I can handle myself, thank you very much.” Lightning turned, about to angrily storm off. When she tried however, her drunkenness caused her to slip and fall to the floor of the bar. I waited for her to get back up. She didn't.
Worriedly, I glanced at her. Dust was still conscious, but her muscles were definitely working against her. Eventually she looked at me.
“Rider…”
“Yeah Lightning?”
“… I need your help.”
We didn’t have enough money for a cab. This was a combination of me paying for Lightning’s booze, and Lightning having absolutely no money at all.
She had one foreleg thrown over my shoulders for support, the rest of her legs dragging along the cloud streets with pure laziness. I’m trying to support her as best I can, sandwiching her body in between a leg and an outstretched wing. It’s difficult, especially since we have so far to walk.
“How much further do we have to go?” I grunted.
“Not far,” Lightning assured me for the twentieth time. Suddenly her pupils shrunk. “Wait, hold up.”
I stop, and Lightning Dust turned and retched onto the side of the street. The sound she made was a cross between a dying cat and garbage disposal.
“Very classy,” I muttered. She wiped off her mouth with her fetlock and grinned.
“I try.”
I shook my head slowly and continued walking. What the buck does Derpy see in this mare?
It’s several more minutes before my drunken haze cleared up a little bit more. I found that we’re walking through probably the worst neighborhood in Cloudsdale. Worst in the category of quality and worst in the category of you-definitely-don’t-want-to-be-walking-around-here-drunk-at-one-a.m-in-the-bucking-morning.
I shoot an uneasy glance at my companion. “You do know where you’re going… right?”
“I’m drunk, not stupid,” Lightning said. “My apartment is that way.”
We continued on in silence, until a rundown building comes into view. Well… rundown might be a compliment now that I think about it. I think it was supposed to be an apartment complex. The nimbus structure was loose, with tufts of cloud ripped away and floating in the air. It was bad to the point where I couldn't distinguish windows from unintended holes. Large parts of the structure were eerily piss colored, and I could only guess why that might be. I'd comment on the wet cat smell as well, but compared to the rest of this side of town, that part was actually pleasant.
“Here we are,” Lightning mumbled. “Home sweet home.”
At first I thought she was joking. I hoped she was joking.
“I’m not joking,” Lightning finally said. Her legs began to marginally work again, and she pulled me toward the building.
We walked a little bit further, and I was grateful to learn Lightning was on the first floor. Eventually she stopped me in front of one of the indistinguishable, shoddy cloud barriers that might have been a door.
“You got your key?” I asked.
“No, I don’t need it,” she replied. “You can just kick it a few times and it’ll open.”
I was silent.
“What?” Dust asked.
“T-that’s not safe,” I managed. “You should really get that fixed.”
“Just kick the door down so I can get some bucking sleep.” Lightning demanded.
I struck the door gently with my foreleg and it didn't budge. Lightning drilled me with her golden irises until I attacked it again, harder this time. After the fourth or fifth kick it budged, and the door creaked open. The insides horrified me.
“Uh Lightning,” I said. “I think you’ve been robbed."
The aqua-marine mare poked her head into the apartment. “Nope, it’s the same as when I left it.”
My jaw slid open. Her apartment – if you could call it that – was a single-room mess. On the left side, there was what I assumed to be the kitchen. A single wooden table was upended, surrounded by a filthy floor covered in expired take-out. The fridge was open, but the light was out and there was absolutely nothing in it.
On the right side was her bed, well… the mattress part anyway. There were no sheets or pillows as far as I could see, and it was all torn up. Laying on top was a vaguely familiar Wonderbolt’s uniform, but it had acquired many new stains.
There was a door towards the back of the room that likely led to the bathroom. I shuddered just thinking about the horrors that could be in there.
“Thanks for getting me home.” Lightning headed to her bed.
“You can’t be serious,” I gaped. Lightning tiredly looked at me. “T-this can’t be your apartment!”
“It is, Rider,” Lightning assured me. She gently pushed the cadet uniform to the floor and took a seat on the bed.
“But it’s a mess!” I exclaimed. “Worse than a mess even. How could anypony possibly live here?”
“Rider would you relax?” Lightning asked. “It’s o-okay.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
“Lightning,” I said slowly.
“All right, fine!” she screamed. “It’s bucking terrible! Are you happy now, Rider?”
“No, of course not!” I told her, taking a seat next to her on the bed. “Lightning, why are you living here when it’s so bad?”
“It’s the only thing I could afford,” she mumbled, head hanging in sadness. “After I got tossed out of the Academy, I had nowhere to go, and practically nothing. I remembered that I had a small savings account, and used that to get an apartment. This shithole was the best I could afford.”
I glanced back over into the kitchen, realizing the subpar take-out had been her only food for the past week.
“How much is left?” I tentatively asked.
“I just paid for another week’s rent so… none.”
“None?” I whisper in shock. Lightning was flat out broke. No wonder she had been drinking so hard earlier. “Lightning, you’ve got to get a job.”
“Who's gonna hire me?” Lightning mumbled. “My only skill is flying really fast.”
“Well… what had you planned on doing?” I asked.
Tears were creeping into her eyes. “I had planned on becoming a Wonderbolt after finishing the Academy. I… I don’t know what else to do.”
“You didn’t have a plan B?”
“Of course not!” Lightning cried, water leaking from her eyes. “I never needed a plan B until a week ago. And now…” A sob escaped her.
“What about your parents? Can’t they help you out?”
“Yeah right. My parents think I’m living it up at the Academy right now on the fast track to becoming a Wonderbolt. I can’t come crawling back to them like this. I just can’t.” Lightning couldn't hold back any more sobs, and she wearily rested her head on my shoulder, tears running down her cheek.
Gingerly, I put my hoof around her and patted her back. Having absolutely no experience for something like this made me feel immensely awkward.
“Look, Lightning,” I said calmly. “I hate to be the blunt asshole here, but you're going to have to either swallow your pride and beg your parents for money, or get a job.”
“I know, I know,” Lightning mumbled. “I just… I don’t even know where to start. I’ve never been on my own like this.”
I think for a moment. “Lightning, do you think you can make it until Saturday?”
She sniffles. “Maybe.”
“Good. Then we can talk to Derpy and see about finding you a job down at Ponyville. I’ve heard it’s a nice place, so you should be able to.”
“Okay,” Lightning murmered into my shoulder. Just to be safe I grabbed my wallet and handed her the few remaining bits. “I-I don’t want any charity, Rider.”
“Consider it a loan then,” I replied, getting up. Lightning thought on it for a moment, but nodded. “Also, be careful sleeping on this thing tonight. I’ve only been on it for a few minutes but I’m already considering getting myself checked for STD’s.”
A laugh escaped Lightning’s mouth. “All right. You should probably get home, Rider.”
“Yeah, okay. See you Saturday.”
“If I survive that long,” she retorted with melancholy.
“You will,” I replied, shutting the door behind me. I hope.
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Oh, poor Lightning. I feel bad for her.
What she should do is tell Derpy the story and have Derpy 'accidentally' destroy Rainbow's house.
4675259
That's a hilarious idea, but I don't think I'll ever put it in the story. After all Rainbow didn't know she ruined Lightning's dreams and livelihood at the same time.
...or did she?
4675383
She's going to know soon enough or not.
Actually, I can see Derpy just being super passive aggressive with Rainbow over it, eventually wrecking her house.
I don't normally do this because
I'm friggin' lazyI don't have that much time, but I really like your story and there were only a few errors anyway:It's actually "Hear, hear."
you're
Who's
you're
Replace that comma at the end with a period. (Also, I'm not too sure, but maybe that first comma should be replaced, as well.)
There may be more errors that I missed, but these are the ones that I remember, and you really don't have many errors in the first place, so props for that. Asides from that, good chapter. I really do like stories like this that make you sympathize with a normally unpopular character. Plus, Lightning Dust has grown quite a bit on me lately, and I like your interpretation of her. Oh, and "Cactus" is a pretty cute nickname for her; maybe you'll consider having it come up again in future chapters?
In any case, I look forward to more.
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Thanks for your help. I'm glad you like it so far.
Oh yeah, there's absolutely no way that could go wrong.
"clitorference" may be one of the more amusing terms I've read this week. Well done.
Paint, windows, and rats. In Cloudsdale. Oh, and wood as well.
I'm sure there's an explanation for it all, but I can't help but think you haven't quite grasped the concept of a cloud city. Especially the bit about building materials.
In any case, looking forward to more. That's going to be a very interesting picnic.
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But how exactly was I suppose to show a run down building if it was made out of clouds? Those things don't exactly have lousy qualities.
Yeah, perhaps my choice of building materials could've been a little better
I'll probably just use a headcannon in which building materials can be enchanted and brought up to the sky for use, and only buildings on the good side of town are made out of clouds.
Glad you're enjoying the story so far.
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Think "ragged cotton" or "old sofa" on an industrial scale. Tufts of cloudstuff drifting out of the walls, near-holes that are little more than wisps of cirrus, sullen clumps of built-up static charge, and of course, discoloration from soaking up Celestia-only-knows what. Maybe throw in weird smells or textures as well.
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Well that definitely could work. Hope you don't mind if I go back and edit that part using those ideas.
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Go right ahead.
Have a nice holiday, FG. We'll be looking forward to the next chapter, in it's time.
This would make a nice mlp book if it didn't swear, cuz, kids would see it, and... You know what comes next.