Lightning Dust Gets Drunk in a Bar Full of Strangers

by Fire Gazer the Alchemist

Mini-Chapter Two: In Which Rider Attempts to Get a Date

Time Turner’s shop was right in front of my face. It’s so close that as a breath left my nose, the glass window fogged up slightly. I'd been here for five minutes, trying to work up the nerve to go inside the clock-invested building. So far, nothing had worked.

I weighed my options as I see Time on the inside, back turned to the window, doing something with a watch. Going in there and merely talking to him could lead to any number of possible outcomes and being the paranoid and insecure wuss I am I kept thinking about the worst ones.

The fact that Turner could be mad about what went down last night was also cause for hesitation. Then again he might not be, so now I’m back to breathing on the windows like a moron.

Then again, if my plan works I could end up with a date.

And if it doesn’t…

Okay, screw this. I’m going in.

My hoof found the door and pushed it open about two seconds before my courage left me. I wanted to run back out immediately, but my legs locked up.

“Hello Rider.” Turner looked up at me. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning either. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.

He looked about the same as last night, only there were even more bags under his eyes. Briefly I wondered how long it’s been since he last slept. Then I put my plan into action.

“Hey…” I said smoothly, walking inside. “So I was just in the neighborhood and figured–”

“Derpy told me something very interesting last night,” Turner cut me off. He’s leering at me.

I blinked. The plan is shattering dramatically. “O-oh yeah?”

Turner sets down the watch he is working on and crosses to me. “Yeah.”

Oh buck.

“Look Time, there’s a very reasonable explanation for this…”

“You said you fixed it,” he reminded me.

“Yeah… I lied.”

Smack!

I recoiled, my cheek stinging brutally. Turner had one hell of a right hook.

“I deserved that,” I mumbled.

“You deserve a lot more than that,” Turner told me. “Derpy is in love with Lightning Dust! Do you not realize how royally you bucked up?”

“I know, okay?” I shouted. “But what the hell was I supposed to do? The mare was crying on the bathroom floor, Turner.”

“That’s no excuse,” the chestnut stallion reprimanded. “You told her she has a chance with Lightning. When she finds out that Dust isn’t gay, crying on the bathroom floor will seem like a dance party.”

“Don’t you think you’re over reacting?” I asked. Surely it won’t be that bad.

Turner sighed. “Look Rider.” his voice was low. “You don’t know this, but Derpy was in a seriously committed relationship before. When it ended… she took it really rough.”

“How rough?”

“She didn’t leave her bedroom for four weeks. I had to look after Dinky for her while she did literally nothing but cry for a month. It got to the point where she stopped eating. She wouldn’t even touch a muffin, Rider.” He leaned in really close to me. “I don’t want Derpy to feel that way ever again, you understand me?”

“Turner, believe me when I say I don’t want her to feel that way either.” He leaned back, no longer giving me a death glare. “I don’t like seeing her cry, that’s why I chickened out when I should have told her Dust isn’t gay. I’m sorry.”

Turner looked away ruefully. “The minute you told me Lightning is straight I should have told Derpy. It would have been rough for her, but not that rough. Instead I didn’t. I chickened out too.” He turned his gaze back to me. “Rider, I hate what you’re doing – and I really hate to say this – but I guess I understand why you did it.”

“There’s no way that this will end well for any of us, is there?” I asked. Leave it to me to ask a question we already know the depressing answer to.

“Unless we can keep Lightning Dust in a more permanent state of drunkenness than Berry Punch, I don’t think so,” he replied.

“Yeah, not much chance of that happening,” I say. “Do you think they’ve found out by now?”

He shook his head. “No. Lightning stopped by with my mail earlier today. They running separate post routes today, so they won’t see each other most likely."

We shifted around awkwardly for a moment.

“Oh, uh… why did you stop by anyways?” Turner asked.

I blinked. Oh right, my half-assed plan. “I was just wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch… you know… together?”

His eyebrow rose. “Are you asking me out on a date, Rider?”

“Rather poorly, but yes.”

“After everything you’ve done, you honestly think I’ll say yes?”

“I’m stupidly optimistic,” I replied rather bluntly. “Or optimistically stupid.”

“I’d say you’re both,” he told me. My ears flopped downward. “But I could use some food, so I tentatively accept your offer.”

My eyes widened, my whole body perking up. “Really?” I couldn't believe it. “You’ll go on a date with me?”

“It’s not a date,” Turner firmly told me. “I’m just hungry is all.”

“I’m still going to call it a date,” I let him know. He sighed.

“Then I guess it’s only fair to tell you that I am not sexually attracted to you at all.”

I frowned a little. “Oh… so you’re not gay then?”

“Actually, I’m bisexual,” Turner moved toward the door and I began following him. “I’m just honestly not into you that way.”

Ouch. It would have been one thing if he hadn’t been gay, but to actually like dudes and still not find me attractive? Yeah, that hurt worse than the slap.

“I’m still calling this a date,” I said, trying to not let my disappointment show. After all, I’m supposed to be both stupidly optimistic, and optimistically stupid.

“In that case, you’re buying,” he laughed.

Crap.

Comments

[SP00KY NINJA-PON3]

So when does Derpy completely misunderstand when she finds out Rider and Turner go on a "date"?

[Fire Gazer the Alchemist]

5075491

Actually, I have a different route in mind, but don't worry it will still be funny. However, it won't be in the next chapter because that one will be another mini-chapter about what Derpy and Lightning are doing at this time.

[SP00KY NINJA-PON3]

5075652 Ok. I must say, I'm intrigued by the potentiality of this situation...

[Seether00]

Still gonna end in tears

[deli73]

“I’m stupidly optimistic,” I reply rather bluntly. “Or optimistically stupid.”

[GalaxyFlower]

Hm... I'm wondering if the ending will be:
Derpy started crying
THE END
No, I think that Time Turner will break it to Derpy lightly SOMEHOW.