Lightning Dust Gets Drunk in a Bar Full of Strangers

by Fire Gazer the Alchemist

Mini-Chapter One: Lunch Break

Despite the large array of food in front of her, Derpy did not feel like eating. She poked at her hayburger and onion rings aimlessly, blinking only when it suited her. Her peripheral vision told her Lightning Dust was eating, but it was very slow and unenthusiastic. The events of earlier had spoiled both of their appetites.

She inhaled noisily, and then let it out in the form of a long sigh, trying to get Lightning to say something. They hadn’t spoken since arriving at the restaurant, and it was more than a little awkward, especially given the elephant in the room.

Finally, Lightning set her half-eaten hayburger down.

“So…” she said as nonchalantly as possible. Bits of food sprayed onto the table as she did, and Derpy noticed she was still chewing “How’d the delivery go?”

“Probably would’ve gone better if you’d been there,” Derpy mumbled.

Lightning swallowed. “I highly doubt that.”

“It couldn’t have gone much worse is what I mean.”

“Seriously, how did it go?” Lightning asked sincerely.

“… I might’ve... screamed right in her face,” Derpy admitted. Dust blinked in surprise at this, her eyebrows arched in the air and silently beckoned for more details. “It’s just that she said some really rotten things about you. I don't know why I snapped so hard.”

“What did she say?”

“She called you reckless, and self-obsessed, and said I shouldn’t associate with you.”

There was a brief pause after that. Lightning actually looked ashamed, an emotion Derpy had never seen on her face before. It made her stomach kind of sour just looking at it.

“Why aren’t you denying it?” She asked.

“Because it’s true, Derpy,” Lightning said ruefully. She barely had time to process the onion ring that hit her across the snout. “Hey!”

“Don’t think like that!” Derpy argued. “Never think like that. Lightning, you’re an amazing pony!”

“No I-”

“Yes you are!” Derpy protested, pounding the table with her hooves. “Rainbow was lying. She had to be.”

“She wasn’t Derpy,” Lightning dejectedly said. “She has every right to think that way about me. After what I did…” she trailed off.

Derpy blinked in confusion. “You mean at the Academy?”

“Oh,” Lightning murmured. “So she told you then.”

“No, I refused to hear it,” Derpy said. “If anyone should tell me what happened it should be you.”

“Really?” Lightning asked. “Why? Not even Spitfire was interested to hear my side of things.”

“Well Spitfire wasn’t your friend,” Derpy told her. “I am.”

A smile weakly crawled onto Lightning’s face. “Okay. The truth is… I nearly killed some ponies.” As she spoke the words Lightning cringed, expecting an outburst of some kind. When none came she glanced quizzically at Derpy.

“Go on,” the gray mare told her.

Lightning relaxed just a little bit, grateful for the lack of judgement. “It was a routine training drill. Rainbow Dash and I were just supposed to clear out a whole bunch of clouds out of the sky. We were doing just fine, but I got a little impatient. I wanted to be the first team done cause I thought it would impress Spitfire. I suggested we make a tornado to, you know, speed things along. Dash didn’t argue or anything, so I figured my idea would work but… we lost control.” She paused.

Derpy’s out of sync eyeballs held no judgment. She was just listening intently.

“There were five ponies in a balloon coming through the clouds. I didn’t see them in time, and they sure as hell didn’t see that tornado coming. Anyways, Rainbow saved all of them while I just hovered nearby with a slack jaw. She told Spitfire what happened, and Spitfire kicked me out.”

“So it was all an accident?” Derpy asked.

“Well, yeah,” Lightning said. “I would never have tried to actually hurt anypony. I just wanted to show that I was Wonderbolt material.”

“So Dash was wrong then,” Derpy told her. “You aren’t a bad pony, you just made a mistake.”

“A mistake that nearly killed five ponies!” Lightning erupted, slamming her hoof into the table. Various bystanders shot a few glances, but nopony dwelled on it.

“Well, do you feel bad about it?” she asked after a brief pause.

Lightning nodded, having calmed down slightly. “I feel like shit every time I think about it.”

“Good,” Derpy said. Her friend shot her a heated stare and she elaborated. “If you really were a bad pony, you’d have no remorse for any of that.”

“I guess you’re right,” Lightning half-heartedly agreed. She could tell her friend was hardly convinced though.

Derpy leaned in. “Hey, remember the other day when we all baked a crapload of muffins, and despite how hungry you were you let my daughter take as many as she wanted before you started eating?”

“Yeah.”

“Would a bad pony have done that?”

“I guess not,” Lightning admitted with a shrug.

“You’re damn right,” Derpy said happily. She reached her hoof across the table and placed it on her friend’s shoulder.

Lightning smiled. “You’re too good a friend to me.”

“You’ve got to stop saying things like that, Lightning,” Derpy insisted. “Self-pity doesn’t look good on you. Also I might just have to hit you with another onion ring.”

“Okay fine,” Lightning agreed. “No more self-pity for this mare.”

“Hooray!”

“So what are you going to do about Rainbow Dash?” Lightning asked.

“What do you mean?”

Her friend shrugged. “It just sounds like the two of you didn’t leave off on the best of terms. Don’t you want to fix that bridge instead of burning it?”

Derpy thought on it for a second. “I guess I should, but only if she apologizes for the things she said about you.”

“I am okay with that,” Lightning stated.

She reached for her hayburger and began stuffing her face with much more gusto than before. Her appetite had apparently returned.

Derpy didn’t attack her food nearly as maliciously as Lightning Dust. She still wasn’t even a little hungry. Since Saturday both she and Dinky had been eating muffins at an exceptionally alarming rate in order to keep them from going bad. The muffin binge was starting to catch up to her now, as her appetite was all but diminished. Actually, at this point she could stand to skip a few meals. Taking in so much raw muffiny goodness was starting to show on her hips, and the last thing she wanted was for Lightning to think she was getting fat.

Or for any of your other friends to think that, Derpy thought, trying in vain to convince herself that it wasn’t only Lightning Dust’s opinion she cared about.

She watched the aqua-marine mare as she scarfed down her food. Her cute muzzle was slathered in ketchup and bits of hayburger, and her wavy golden hair was falling loosely across her forehead. Dust shoved the final bite into her mouth greedily, her pearly teeth on display for anypony to see. Derpy was so engrossed in watching her friend that she wasn’t even worried about Dust staining her borrowed uniform.

It’s not fair, Derpy lamented. How can she be that adorable when she’s being a total pig?

Lightning unceremoniously licked her hooves, sending Derpy’s heart into a small flutter. She looked up to see the gray mare staring at her and their eyes met. Neither spoke for a moment.

“Hey Derpy…”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to eat your food?”

Comments

[Seether00]

It’s not fair, Derpy lamented. How can she be that adorable when she’s being a total pig?

To be fair, Twilight still looked adorable stuffing her face with burgers.

[SP00KY NINJA-PON3]

4974158 Twilight doesn't count, she is the perfect example for being absolutely adorable.

[Mischievous Blue]

Keep writing. This story just gets cuter and cuter.

[Fire Gazer the Alchemist]

4996984
Don't worry about it, I'm always glad to receive some help.

[GalaxyFlower]

NOOOOO! BUCK THIS, MAN! I WANT TO READ MOREEEEE life is so unfair ;-;
But either way, good job! You should be a writer when you grow up... Or become one if you are grown up... You get it! I am cheering for you ^_^ Also, this is funneh because, When I first watched My little pony, I thought Derpy was a guy, and was gay for liking doctor hooves (or so I hear...) and now, my friends tell me she's a girl, and this