Ledger felt the train jerk suddenly and found himself blinking and glancing around with blurry eyes, all the while stifling a yawn. Yet it still took him a few moments before he fully brought himself out of the drowsy sleep that had overtaken him, not even remembering ever being comfortable enough to fall asleep at any point on the train ride. The changes in his surroundings, however, told him he had done exactly that. Octavia was missing from her seat across the aisle and the train car was all but silent, the continuous clacking of the rails and wheels as they powered towards their destination told him that he’d been out far longer than he’d thought he had.
He felt out of sorts as he sat there, as one is wont to do in unfamiliar places. A strange alien feeling that only seems to become apparent when you’re tired. Ledger usually only felt like this when he was at a hotel, but it wasn’t out of the ordinary enough to warrant any concern. Ledger lifted himself from his seat, stumbling as his tired body got used to the moving train car that swayed back and forth ever so slightly on the rails.
After he got his legs back under control he made his way for the car in front of him. He exited his current car and looked forwards across the small gap. A flimsy pathway had been added and there were guardrails that stretched between him and his destination, greatly reducing the risk in the traversing of the gap. However, it did little to quell the welling uncertainty that had already begun to grow. And all because of a foot long rickety pathway.
He swallowed his fear and shimmied his way over the bridge. Overly hesitant steps stretched out his travel time to far greater than it should have been as he grasped the guard rails with white knuckles. When he reached the other car he opened the door with a bit of panic in his actions and stepped eagerly into the relative safety that it provided.
He breathed deeply through his nose to try and hide his panic as he regained his composure, only to realize there was only one other pony in the car to begin with. Relaxing himself, he approached the counter and glanced at the food options that he would have on this particular trip.
Sandwiches, really, were the only food items on the board. Some sparkling water, gin and tonic, various other drinks were marked off to the side, but as far as food went, it was almost strictly sandwiches. And that made Ledger far happier than he normally would be. Because this was a train that went in between the dragon capital and the pony one, which meant there was meat on a select number of sandwiches.
“Can I get a turkey and cheddar hogi?” Ledger said with a grin, excited that meat was back on the menu, as it wasn’t served in pony towns most of the time. Griffons and dragons were the only ones who made them, or the ponies who catered to them. So, naturally, Ledger got it whenever he could.
The pony turned to him and smiled. “Ah, Mr. Ledger. Did your nap suit you well, sir?” While he waited for the answer to his question, the pony bussied himself with procuring the meat, cheese, and bread from around the small kitchen that he had been given.
“Yes, it was pretty nice actually.” Ledger returned the smile. “But I’m curious, how did you know? Did you pass by me when you boarded?”
“Nah.” The stallion returned with a lighthearted tone. “That young mare that came through mentioned it in passing.” He turned around and began to allign the meat and cheese and the bread he had laid on the counter a moment before.
“Oh?” Ledger looked around the car to make sure he hadn’t missed anyone, and indeed, the car was completely empty of any other patrons. “Where did she end up getting to anyway, I don’t see her anywhere in here and she wasn’t back in the passenger car when I woke up. Not really anywhere else to go is there?”
“She was talking to a dragon bloke, they seemed to be discussing something when they suddenly got up and moved to the next car up.” The pony slid the finished sandwich across the table and Ledger pulled his coin purse from his coat pocket, handing a few bits to the pony to pay for the meal, and another one as a tip.
“What’s in the next car up?” Ledger asked before he took a hefty bite out of the sandwich, not bothering to hide his hunger in the least.
“Not a clue sir, this is the furthest one up that I ever go. No reason to go any further.” The pony was putting away the remnants of food that he hadn’t used for the sandwich, then placed the offered bits into a small tray at the back of the kitchen that slid into the wall. He promptly locked it as soon as he was done with it.
“Huh…” Ledger said with a mouth half full of meat and cheese, his eyes moving to the door to the next car and lingering on it even as he swallowed his bite. He was about to take a second one when the car jerked slightly and made him miss his food. He glanced at the sandwich and then to the door again.
Ledger gripped the sandwich in one hand and nodded to the stallion in thanks, then approached the door, taking a smaller nibble of his food. He pushed the door open softly and looked to the next car. He bit into the sandwich again, but didn’t cleave through it, only holding it in his mouth as he grabbed the guard rails with either hand. He repeated the process he had done earlier, until he got to the other side, where he held back from flying through to the inside.
He placed his ear against the door and listened carefully, taking another bite of his sandwich now that he had a spare hand to hold it in. He heard angry mumbles coming from the other side, growing slightly in volume over the course of the time that he listened. He recognized Octavia’s voice, but he didn’t recognize the other one, undoubtedly the dragon that the kitchen worker had told him of.
Eventually they seemed to come to a peak and Ledger, against his better judgement to just leave it alone, entered the car as nonchalantly as he could manage. Octavia and the dragon looked at him, he looked back and glanced around the car. The dragon that Octavia had been talking to was about Ledger’s height, covered in red scales and had a small overbite. When he smiled in greeting, he made full show of the sharp teeth that he held in his jaws. All in all, he looked very composed.
Octavia on the other hand, was everything but. Her hair seemed mussed and her jaw was set in stubborness. She looked at Ledger with mixed emotions, and he returned the same feeling. She seemed to be guiding Ledger’s eyes with her own, wanting him to look at something, but he had seen the object of her gaze moments after entering, it wasn’t like the dragon had tried to hide them.
A trio of dragons stood shackled together nearby with very clear looks of defeat on their faces. Two of them were about pony height but the third was even smaller, and looked familiar. Ledger attempted to hide the surprise from his face. He hadn’t expected to meet this particular member of the old group in quite this place. He hadn’t expected him to meet at all really.
“Hello sir, what brings you here?” Ledger glanced at the dragon and took another bite of his sandwich, using it as an excuse to think as to how he wanted to take this conversation.
“Not much else to do really, just taking a look around.” He looked at Octavia like he hadn’t seen her when he came in. “Treble, good to see you. How are things going?”
Octavia looked back at him with a face of burning anger, but neglected to answer. She was very clearly angry that this was occuring on a train that she had bought passage on, but it wasn’t against the law in the slightest, due to the fact that the dragon country was one of the destinations. And he suspected Octavia knew this, just that she didn’t have to like it. What she didn’t seem to know however was that she was not in a position to berate this dragon for his job, and that she should just let the situation drop.
She looked away angrily and Ledger looked back at the dragons. The familiar one, purple and green, he wanted to make sure it was who he thought it was before he made a purchase. And if it was Spike he would make that purchase almost immediately. However, he wanted to do so in such a way that still made him seem aloof and seperate, which meant kneeling down in front of potential Spike and asking really nicely wasn’t an option.
He took another bite of his sandwich as he thought, and when he swallowed that bite he had the basics of a plan forming. “What are the price tags?” Octavia stared daggers into his head as he said that but he pretended he didn’t care.
The dragon smiled at the possibility of an early sale, then he wouldn’t have to pay the auction fee. “Forty bits for the taller ones and thirty for the runt.”
Ledger tapped his chin and nodded as if in deep thought. “Do you have any paperwork to back up those prices?” In all honesty, Ledger had no idea if those prices were high, low, or normal. Which was why he’d asked it without any aggression, it made him seem curious to simply see if the price was worth it, instead of being outraged by it being too high or worried about why it was so low.
The dragon nodded eagerly and pulled a clip board from off the top of a box, handing it to Ledger. He glanced through it, making sure to spend time on the first two papers even though he didn’t care about them in the least. He moved on to the third and glanced at the name section of the paper. And, to his slight annoyance, there wasn’t one there. Glancing through the words, he came to a small, illegible footnote at the bottom.
“What’s this here?” He said, pointing at it and looking at the dragon. The dragon moved over to look at the paper and a smile broke out on his face as he saw what Ledger was indicating.
“There’s a story on that there.” The dragon stepped back to where he was before. “So, the guy who sold us this runt right, he’s trying so hard to sweeten the deal, everything in his power that isn’t straight out lying.” The dragon adopted a laughing tone as he continued. “And so then, just out of nowhere, he’s like ‘This dragonling has magic powers!’. Not even kidding. And so he gets the dragon to come up and then he breathes fire and it’s just green fire. Normal fire, but green. And he’s like ‘See, told ya he’s magic!’ We still got him for cheap though, no one's gonna buy him for any high amount just because his fire is green!” The dragon was shaking with laughter by this point and Ledger was smiling kindly in response.
Ledger turned his attention back to the paper, waiting a moment before he announced his decision, merely so he didn’t seem rushed. “Ah, what the heck, I’ll take the runt.” He handed the papers back to the dragon, who was now wearing a very surprised look on his face. “Thirty bits right?” He pulled his coin purse from his pocket and took out three ten bit pieces. He handed them to the dragon and it seemed to take a moment for the dragon to realize that he was serious.
He got the key fairly quickly from a pouch nearby and undid the shackles to the smaller dragon, shoving him with some degree of force towards Ledger, who nodded in response, as if pleased with the action, and then graciously accepted the papers of ownership that were passed his way. He looked at Octavia, who still refused to give him any amount of eye contact, and headed back towards the exit to the car, finishing off his sandwich with a final bite. The small dragon followed dutifully, and after a moment they got outside.
After he closed the door he stopped and gripped onto a nearby post, wanting to talk to Spike before they went back into another cart. He turned around and the dragonling flinched away, scared of the biped. Ledger, realizing how imposing a form he cut, crouched down as low as he could while remaining on his feet.
The door to the previous car opened and Ledger quickly stood back up to his full height before he realized that it was only Octavia who had come out. She, however, was full of rage. Upon seeing Ledger there, she slammed the door in a fit. With a deathly glare she closed the distance, looking as imposing as she could given she was smaller than he.
“What was all that crap!?” She shouted angrily, Ledger keeping his face impassive as she released her verbal fury onto him. “Was all that just to spite me huh?”
Ledger looked to Spike, who was gazing at Octavia with what could only be hope, as much as he could muster anyway, and Ledger looked back to Octavia.
“You think that you can just pull that crap huh? You’re gonna support this slavery ring? Seriously? You are the WORST member of the queen’s court. None of them have dragon slaves, but you bought one on a WHIM. For NO REASON. You even did that whole stupid speech, like I was supposed to pity you for all that, but I can see now that you were just lying. You didn’t care about that foal, he probably doesn't even exist, you just wanted me on your side, huh? Get as many ponies in your corner as you can. I thought you had at least some self respect but clearly I was -”
She was silenced as she felt a smack hit her face, knocking her vision to the side. She paused for a moment before she got around to looking back at Ledger, not believing he had just hit her. She prepared to rant but was stopped as he shoved a roll of papers into her face. “What the heck is this?” She dropped her gaze to look at it briefly before looking at Ledger again.
His eyes were close to tears and his face was painted with rage. “His ownership papers. Since you're clearly so much better than I am, he'll be better off with you right?” She took them in surprise, and Ledger turned away, letting the two to be by themselves. He didn’t bother to grab the guard rail, or to ascertain his steps as he moved back towards the kitchen car. He didn’t care enough. As he was about to open the door, he stopped and turned around. “And don’t talk to me. Ever again.”
Then he left, closing the door to the kitchen carefully behind him.
Damn he's smooth.
And of course she proved his point from the previous chapter.
And on this day let it be known that all faith in the pony race was lost for this man.
And I'm all "Noo! Keep him! Show him that Ledger isn't so bad after all!" *sighs* I really like this story of yours. It feels like a slice of life show but from a completely new perspective. The whole, just because you have to work for a tyrant doesn't mean you are a bad person.
what just happened? i need more!
I was so engrossed by this story that I didn't even notice the semen caked inside my pants.
Any posts by 'The Parasprite' or in response to him will be deleted.
4559173
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
4559175 YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
4559174 It's nice to know you can press the delete button.
Monsieur Delicate Sensibillities.
Typical writers, can't take an iota of honest criticism.
4559174 Two things: One, you're deleting comments, that guarantees that you're screwed at this point. ESPECIALLY when you're deleting anything that responds, it could be in defense of this fic and you'd still delete it? Yeah, good luck with the incoming shitstorm. Secondly, deleting comments doesn't change that she's right. The human in this story really isn't interesting, it's just human because "HUMAN!" and could easily be replaced with a talking homosexual cactus and it would change nothing. Actually, that sounds like something taken from a far more interesting story. Can I see a fic about that please?
4559205 You asked and you shall recieve.
4559174
Pardon me for asking, but was there really a call to delete comments so willy nilly? I hardly think expressing a simple opinion is something worth censoring like that. As my friend Sig up there already pointed, comment deletion is a fast-track to oblivion. Trust me, I've seen it happen. People WILL take notice of that.
And she's still pretty much correct, anyway. Not to be rude, as you've still got an interesting and - dare I say - compelling concept here, but it doesn't change the fact that Para's got a point. Replace the human with, say, a pony. Or a griffon. Or a talking, somewhat courageous toaster. If nothing story-wise changes with the swap, then there's no reason for him to be there. It's as simple as that.
That's my opinion, and I'm standing by it. Take it or leave it. Ignore me if you want, even. But I can guarantee that deleting people's thoughts and moving on, assuming nothing bad could come of it, will come back to bite you in the ass. Just a friendly tip.
~Blinkie
4559174
May I ask why?
4559219
Interestingly, had he responded as an equal in a manner that respected my right to free speech, even with total disagreement, I would have still felt compelled to point out to him that I really like the rest of his story's premise. The fact that it has potential is the main reason it annoyed me so much--I strongly dislike it when people turn good ideas into vehicles for HiE stories and other windtunnel cliches.
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~Blinkie
Personally I think this story would be Lesser without the HiE perspective. Ledger Knows the show, he knows the characters and what would have happened to them in the future that he saw.
I Suppose you could replace him by a pony or any other kind, but would it be as good? No. The fact that Ledger knows the future of what Should have been makes him a better pick for this kind of story.
4559220
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4559220 Now I can't be sure as to why the author did whatever he/she did, but I would personally chalk it up to the point where you essentially stated that anyone who disagreed with your opinion was "lacking nerulogical mental facilities" or something along those lines. Don't expect someone to respond with a logical well thought out argument when you act with a childish arrogance that others would expect from a five year old and insult anyone who disagrees with your opinion.
4559219 As I responded to Parasprite, I think you're missing the point where Parasprite essentially called anyone who disagreed with his comment stupid, which is pretty much a spam comment and so the author would be more than justified in deleting said comment.
Now onto a more kind subject, I disagree that there is no need for min to be a human, a major point in this story is that he's nothing like the ponies have ever seen before, adding to the fear and mistrust towards him, the ponies have seen griffons before, but a human? Never.
And the fact that he's a human as opposed to some other random creature from other fiction means the author has a clean slate to work with and makes it much easier to write about, and for reads to sympathise with, us all being Humans.
4559288
4559298 Telegram for you sir.
4559288
Uh, no. No it doesn't. It just makes him in possession of knowledge that really has no place in this otherwise-interesting story. It would be better if he didn't have knowledge of the place, that way, there would at least be some semblance of trying to adjust to a completely unfamiliar world. Knowing details about the show does nothing but give him the final nail in the HiE casket; being a brony in Equestria. It's just something I can't bring myself to enjoy, because it's bland and unoriginal.
Bottom line, this would be a far better story without him. Or at the very least, it wouldn't hurt the overall weight and meaning of the story. Although now that I look at it... this author seems quite fond of the HiE genre, seeing as how most of the stories there possess the human tag. Couldn't let go of your humans for one story, could you? Oye.
~Blinkie
4559304 I deleted said essay to save the Author the trouble of deleting it themselves as they said anyone who responded to your comment would have that post deleted.
And for the Human, I just said why human works in this context, did you even read the post you responded to.
No, you stated that any dissident towards your own opinion in a response was stupid, essentially meaning that any who wished to argue against the point you had made was stupid. Just as you have the complete freedom to say that you think a human in this story is stupid, anyone else has the right to tell you why they think it isn't. And that statement comes across as a childish way of trying to prevent anyone from responding or, if they did respond, insult them with it, as you are trying to do with me.
4559305 Have you been waiting here for the past near hour constantly refreshing the page?
Man, I love Nightmare Moon fics! Hell, it's probably one of my favorite genres on the site. I can't wait to dig into-
Wait.... Wait a second.... Is- is that what I think it-? No... it couldn't be.
i.gyazo.com/94ae538c008af40ae054fc021425746a.png
Shit. You dun goofed. You had a great story premise and ruined it by shoving some random human in so- Well, maybe not. Maybe they're all just humanized and it could still be readable. Let me just give it a read.
Fuck.... Did you really? Are you really so buttfriendly with HiE that you shoehorned this random dude into the story, ruining any win the premise could have had? It was a great story idea! Nightmare wins, doesn't want to deal with lesser ponies, and hires some other pony, could have easily been one of the main six, so that she doesn't have to deal with them! Goddamnit.
Well, since I'm here, might as well see if it still has any potential to cont-
R-really? Mistakes in the description? Really? A slow eventually conclusion? A pair of sentences that repeat each other/imply two entirely different things? Beginning a sentence in your description with a conjunction?
Okay, I guess I'll begin. First off, it's 'a slow, eventual conclusion', or, even better, 'a/an slow/eventual conclusion'. I'd say that both of those would serve perfectly fine on their own otherwise it get repetitive. Now, that last bit. This is gonna be a doozy. The first sentence states that she needs somebody (else) in charge of relations. This automatically implies that she's outsourcing that role to somebody other than her, therefor the next sentence isn't really needed. Also, depending on how you read it, the second sentence could imply that she's going to have somebody else find somebody else to handle relations. That's just stupid. Watch how you word shit and think about redoing that second half of the description.
Well, now that that's done, let's move on to the actual story. I'mma try to be a little brief, because otherwise this will be some five million word tirade and I'm sure nobody wants that... right?
We jump right into the story, right into Dumas McBollockster's world, with an entire paragraph describing him relaxing and being entirely negligible on a moving vehicle, carriage or not. First off, you never, ever, close your eyes while directing a vehicle. Oh, wait. He's not driving that carriage? He's riding in it? Well, who'd have fucking known? Sigh.
After this, you go into him being wishy-washy about his transportation. I want cars! This is so slow! No, I want a slower vehicle! This is too fast! I'm such a whiny cunt! Ugh, at least make him interesting. He has fancy clothes, but not just fancy, though; they're magical, but only if the queen wants them to be!
Okay, so.... Let me get this straight. The queen had these uniforms made to keep others from using magic against her? Got it. She then gave this magic sapping clothing to a being without magic to keep him from using magic against her? Got... it? Why? What purpose does it serve? It's armor for him? I'm sorry, but I won't buy it. Sure, nobody would be able to use magic on him, but what's going to stop one of the horsies with their insanely powerful rear kicks from just collapsing his nuts into paste? Nothing, that's what.
Whatever. Moving past that we get some boring junk about his excitable anger (oh man, haven't seen that before). He gets angry (not really, he's a master of theater, too) at Caramel for chaffing and not putting on salve, which, for some discernible reason, is not allowed while they're on duty. Seriously? Okay, I'll let it slide. Nightmare is evil.
Really? Did you really? Why? Is it because he's a man? He's a man, so he has to be a 'bad boy'? Is it because he works for Nightmare? His boss is evil, so he has to be a 'bad boy'?
You know what? I'm done reading. It's just.... I can't, you know? The story could have been great. You have a decent knowledge of how to properly use the English language, but that's where it ends. You've shoehorned a human in, made him a 'good guy, but I gotta act tough' fool, and, honestly, it's boring. All of that can be done right, cliche as it is, but this wasn't it. Oh, let me also pose this question:
One thousand years? It took her one thousand years to realize she needed/wanted to delegate the relations position to somebody? Please. Don't give me that.
4559220 Hey man you are being mature about this as far as I can tell but this is LucidTech's story and much like a house or store the freedom of speech can be limited to what the owner thinks is right (you can't go into a church and yell "HAIL SATAN" that's rude and you can{WILL} get kicked out see limits on freedom of speech). Maybe you accidentally offended Lucid I don't know but freedoms depend on the area and people so just be mature my friend if Lucid offended you with the deletion comment don't feed the fire just forget about it move on and read a good story.
4559298 I am inclined to agree with you, and also to say that we should promptly delete anything advertising all forms of communism and democracy. In addition, I just ate a doughnut, Paris is a beautiful city, you are the author's alternate account, War and Peace is shockingly good if you bother to read it, and there can never be enough long-legged aryan women in the world.
4559336 Have you?
4559336 No, actually, I'm busy on Final Fantasy VI (Wii download). Amazing game.
4559347 On almost all matters I tend to agree with you. I would move on because there are better things to do but. You fail to try and understand [Or at least say that you have] why Para is responding.
So as polite as I can possibly put this.
Have you ever had your opinion censored?
4559311 You're right, there have been other stories that use humans in Equestria, just as there have been other stories with ponies in Equestria, or ponies, or Equestria or humans. True, there are lots of HiE's which are the same cut and paste story's or don't even need humans, I will admit that, but the plot element is important in that he's a complete outsider, true that has been done before, but this is a different spin on it. And sure lets ignore every other point I made there, hypocrite.
Oh and by the way, WHY are you even reading this if you don't like HiE stories, you can filter your search to avoid human stories, so why are you here anyway? Do you think that you will somehow change the vast numbers of HiE stories floating around FimFiction? Well newsflash, you won't, live with it.
4559318 Because there are absolutely no stories with Nightmare Moon winning against Celestia, there's only and entire group dedicated to such stories, this is a different take, you don't like it, fine, then don't read it, no-ones forcing you to read it, but judging by the number of likes for this fiction, other do, so stop whining that there is no reason for a human to be here when others clearly enjoy the human element.
Wow, who knew so many people hated HiE so much? Personally HiE's make up about 90% of the stories I read on this sight and it seems odd to me that people would make such a big fuss over such a common thing. As to the author deleting a comment on his story, well it is his story and some people are a little more sensitive than others, not really that big of a deal so get over it and move on.
4559298
Then why not simply delete para's comment by itself, and not the others that had nothing to do with it? Or better yet, report it? Or, even better, let it stay? So that people can see the comment for themselves and downvote it if they don't agree? I must argue that you are missing the point, kind sir. His comment wasn't spam. It was stylized and brusque, yes, it was still a comment that expressed his opinion. A comment consisting of off-topic pictures, videos, emoticons, or "you suck" would be considered spam.
As for that, I feel I must stress that this has been done countless times before. You never see a fic where they aren't genuinely shocked/distrustful of them, apart from the obviously bad ones--or on the odd occasion, the wonderfully brilliant ones. (I remember reading one story in particular where ponies had known about humans and even technology beforehand, thus rendering the HiE himself in a "nothing special" position that turned the whole concept on its head.)
Yes, they've seen griffons, but we've never been fully briefed on their relationships with ponies in the show. They could be very wary and distrustful of each other, for all you know; being predators by nature, and all. Or, better yet, instead of copping out and using something we already know about, why not be original? There's nothing wrong with creating an OC species at times. And besides, seeing as this is meant to be a completely alternate universe, who's to say that things are vastly different in terms of their interactions? I could honestly see a pony OC instead of a human being believable, if he was, perhaps, some sort of known criminal or dissident...
I've heard this justification so many times it's not even funny anymore. There's no challenge, and it signifies laziness to me; whereas writing in new creatures creates a certain level of challenge and depth. And "sympathize", my ass. The human is just so uninteresting, I can't bring myself to care about him to begin with. That's thing about humans; we're boring. Give me a better reason why a human needed to be involved, please. If you can.
It's a damn shame too, because this story is excellent otherwise.
~Blinkie
4559350 I just responded to someone else, so I was just waiting here for their response and chanced upon that while waiting.
4559373 More like black knighting. This man is losing limbs and continues to fight.
4559384 So technically you have been sitting here refreshing the page.
4559365 It's like you're not even trying to hide that you're his alt. I bet you even have the same IP.
4559384
I know it's technically III on the NA SNES one, but, eh.