Chapters are too short, main character sounds like an emo, edgy teen with a dark past, I assume he'll get superpowers or something like that.
There are grammar issues everywhere, and it just generally reads very badly.
I recommend finding an editor, and just generally scraping this idea entirely. Write something new with the help of an editor, and read some books. Try to write like other writers at first, and then find your own style afterwards.
4296476 Required at submission. After submission it can be any length.
Either way, the good writers write 5,000 words per chapter on average. 2,000+ is the norm for the average writer. Any less than that and it is most likely too short.
I can't place the issue on yours. Then again no one really says their reasons for down voting stuff anyway. One things was the occasional proper noun(or was it pronoun) aren't capitalized.
also sentence based. "Jimmy shot me" said Mr. Stevens = not right. "Jimmy shot me," said Mr. Stevens. = correct. Don't forget comma before quotation mark.
4296975 hey if you would like to help me keep this fic alive by all means you can be my editor. I have been looking for one but for some reason I have not heard back from any one of them.
Righto, you asked me for advice i nthe forum so I'll give it to you. I must admit I skimmed a little as I am currently trying to force myself to get one of my own chapters done but I'll give you some ideas:
First off, you need an editor. Badly.
Now I'm probably being a bit of a hypocrite here as I do my own stuff, however I think that you need someone to giv you a hand. And before you ask, no, I can't take up that mantle due to my own tendency to make mistakes and my lack of time to do a proper job.
You need to have more paragraphs, proper capitalisation and...
the universe works in mysterious ways and for every universe there is a sentient race
unaware of the other's existence. in the world of equestria there lays a sentient race of multicolored ponies regular or earth to be correct pegsi and unicorns little do they know that there is a mysterious masked figure watching from a distance waiting for the right time to show himself for his destiny is not to protect the man kind of earth god has that taken care of he is there to stop an evil from changing the world of equestria into a cesspool of death and destruction and along the way something happens to him that he can not quite comprehend
Puncuation! Full stops are your friends, use them!
Now, onto the character.
Not going to lie, you are going to cope so much crap for him that you could open a fertilizer store. He reads like an edgy guy who will look badarse while saving the day with his epicness. He's unrelatable and I suggest you look at what he is and if he needs to be that.
Also, black and red. No. Just... No.
Sadly, that's all I have time for. Find an editor, read some other fics to see how they deal with this and hopefully you can salvage this.
4324896 thanks for your advice and sadly for reasons I can not explain every editor I have called or asked for has either disappears and is never heard from or drops me entirely I know I need an editor badly but my luck hasn't been good and as for the black and red the only red on him is his X that stands as his symbole to bring fear into those who do evil and I kind of got the idea of the suit from the old batman beyond TV show
Chapters are too short, main character sounds like an emo, edgy teen with a dark past, I assume he'll get superpowers or something like that.
There are grammar issues everywhere, and it just generally reads very badly.
I recommend finding an editor, and just generally scraping this idea entirely. Write something new with the help of an editor, and read some books. Try to write like other writers at first, and then find your own style afterwards.
That's all I can say. Luck.
4296460 its the required 1000 words per chapter how is it too short?
4296476 Required at submission. After submission it can be any length.
Either way, the good writers write 5,000 words per chapter on average. 2,000+ is the norm for the average writer. Any less than that and it is most likely too short.
They're too short.
I can't place the issue on yours. Then again no one really says their reasons for down voting stuff anyway. One things was the occasional proper noun(or was it pronoun) aren't capitalized.
also sentence based. "Jimmy shot me" said Mr. Stevens = not right.
"Jimmy shot me," said Mr. Stevens. = correct. Don't forget comma before quotation mark.
4296975 hey if you would like to help me keep this fic alive by all means you can be my editor. I have been looking for one but for some reason I have not heard back from any one of them.
4299823 I don't feel comfortable with responsibility as being editor. sorry
4299837 but thanks again for the support by giving it a thumbs up it really helps me out
Righto, you asked me for advice i nthe forum so I'll give it to you. I must admit I skimmed a little as I am currently trying to force myself to get one of my own chapters done but I'll give you some ideas:
First off, you need an editor. Badly.
Now I'm probably being a bit of a hypocrite here as I do my own stuff, however I think that you need someone to giv you a hand. And before you ask, no, I can't take up that mantle due to my own tendency to make mistakes and my lack of time to do a proper job.
You need to have more paragraphs, proper capitalisation and...
Puncuation! Full stops are your friends, use them!
Now, onto the character.
Not going to lie, you are going to cope so much crap for him that you could open a fertilizer store. He reads like an edgy guy who will look badarse while saving the day with his epicness. He's unrelatable and I suggest you look at what he is and if he needs to be that.
Also, black and red. No. Just... No.
Sadly, that's all I have time for. Find an editor, read some other fics to see how they deal with this and hopefully you can salvage this.
4324896 thanks for your advice and sadly for reasons I can not explain every editor I have called or asked for has either disappears and is never heard from or drops me entirely I know I need an editor badly but my luck hasn't been good and as for the black and red the only red on him is his X that stands as his symbole to bring fear into those who do evil and I kind of got the idea of the suit from the old batman beyond TV show
4324896 look at it now what do you think?