What lengths would you go to for the sake of fitting in? How far will you go to cover your past? These are questions I ask myself every day. But there's one question that will haunt me until death; Am I really the monster?
I don't see why this has so many dislikes. Once you get passed the large clumping of paragraphs, it actually has a decent story and idea. Don't let them get to ya, my Author friend!
This is so much better than the likes hinted at. The only problem I have is that the dialogue is a little too brief and unexpressive. The story is good and you have a good back story that has plenty of discription. Everything other than the dialogue is good. There were a few spelling mistakes like saying 'their' instead of 'there' and spelling sci fi as sci if, but other than that you're good.
4247520 I wanted him to have a sense of hope for redemption. Like, if he was just a good boy, they'd let him out of the time out corner to play with the other kids. I'm currently writing the part where he finds out that that is a load of bullcrap and harnesses his inner badass.
There are a few spots where the errors are visible with misspelled words or sentences not making sense, but now you solidified the point where he is truly trapped in the mines, and without a real backbone, it seems he wont ever escape. those metal backbones he was given... they may be stronger, but in reality... damn, he is shaming the human race. good chapter overall, minor mistakes, but still good.
This has garnered more Dislikes than likes now? It had 2-0 initially...
I don't see why this has so many dislikes. Once you get passed the large clumping of paragraphs, it actually has a decent story and idea. Don't let them get to ya, my Author friend!
This is so much better than the likes hinted at. The only problem I have is that the dialogue is a little too brief and unexpressive. The story is good and you have a good back story that has plenty of discription. Everything other than the dialogue is good. There were a few spelling mistakes like saying 'their' instead of 'there' and spelling sci fi as sci if, but other than that you're good.
well screw there dislikes the story's good so please continue
4239467 Thanks for noting! I'll be sure to add more dialogue today.
So that's why he didn't pull guns out and take potshots at the guards...
4247520 I wanted him to have a sense of hope for redemption. Like, if he was just a good boy, they'd let him out of the time out corner to play with the other kids. I'm currently writing the part where he finds out that that is a load of bullcrap and harnesses his inner badass.
There are a few spots where the errors are visible with misspelled words or sentences not making sense, but now you solidified the point where he is truly trapped in the mines, and without a real backbone, it seems he wont ever escape. those metal backbones he was given... they may be stronger, but in reality... damn, he is shaming the human race. good chapter overall, minor mistakes, but still good.