Why Am I A Filly?

by Sleepy Panda

School

After a good fifteen minutes of walking, I think that I am finally getting used to having four legs. I can kind of shuffle forward a bit, and I don't trip over my feet as much as I did before. When we first started walking into Ponyville, I was toppling over and crashing into anything within a five-foot radius of me, earning me some very peculiar looks thrown at me by my filly companions. However, I'm slowly improving. Maybe if I can get the hang of this, I might actually be able to trot over to Twilight's library and find out why I'm a filly so that I can go home. Why is it so quiet? Nobody is saying anything. Seriously, the silence is getting really uncomfortable.

"So, um, where exactly are we going?" Not surprisingly, the tan filly is the first to answer.

"We're going to Earth's house! It's super-duper fun over there! Right, Earth Pony?" Star Shine asks. The green pony speaks for the first time.

"Um, I guess so. I think it's boring inside, but whatever. Personally, I like the outdoors because you can gar-"

"Wait, is Earth Pony your name?" I interrupt.

"Yeah, it is. My parents weren't feeling very creative the day I was born." I look down at the dirt path. I kind of feel bad for her. Her parents naming her Earth Pony is like if my parents named me Human.

"Hey Berry Blossom, are you going to be staying in ponyville for a while?" Snow Crystal asked.

"Yeah I guess so, I mean, I don't really know how to go home."

"Then I guess you'll have to go to school with us. It starts in an hour."

"...School?" I stop in my tracks and the three ponies turn around to face me. I forgot that foals have to go to school just like humans, and since this is Ponyville, the school is just a one room schoolhouse.

"Yeah, school!" Star Shine chimes in. "You know, that place where foals have to go to learn stuff! "Haven't you ever been to school before?"

"I have, it's just-"

"Don't worry, Miss Cheerilee is really nice and super awesome and cool and amazing! Besides, you're about the same age as me, so you'll be learning on the same third grade level as me and we can do all of our work together!" All three fillies, even Earth Pony, nod energetically, and before I have a chance to protest, Snow Crystal throws me on her back and carries me with her as she flies towards the center of Ponyville and presumably towards the schoolhouse. This is not going to end well.

*********

"So, class, today we have a new student! Why don't you come up to the board and introduce yourself to the class?" Silence. "Come on now, don't be shy."

Reluctantly, I scoot off of my chair in the back of the classroom, landing hard on my side. Wincing, I stand up and slowly make my way to the front of the room. I can feel everypony's eyes following me. I wish that I was allowed to just stay in my seat and go unnoticed. Besides, it had taken me a lot of effort to find some way to sit in a chair. After much falling, I had managed it, only to be called up to the front of the classroom by Miss Cheerilee.

"My name is Ni- I mean, Berry Blossom."

"Say that again, please, but this time face the class and not the chalkboard." I rotate myself.

"My name is Berry Blossom." As if rehearsed, the class responded unanimously.

"Nice to meet you, Berry Blossom."

In the hours that follow, I quickly discover that school in Ponyville is just as boring as regular school, maybe even more so. The schoolwork is easy, because apparently not only am I a filly, I am a nine-year-old. As expected, my classmates are talkative and nosy. At one point, Cheerilee steps out to talk to a troublesome student and I find myself surrounded by ponies.

"Where do you live?"

"None of your-"

"When's your birthday?"

"Why should I- "

"Do you like my tie?"

"No."

"What's your cutie mark?"

"How would I kn- "

"Do all of my homework or I'll beat you up!"

"..."

"Can I borrow some money?"

"..."

Cheerilee trots back into the classroom, saving me from drowning in the questions. Thank you, Cheerilee. If you weren't a teacher, you would be my new favorite pony. Not that there's anything wrong with teachers, it's just that they give us homework and drain away our gaming time. I love video games, and I hate it when I don't have enough time to play. Wait a second... if Ponies barely use electricity... Do they have video games? They better have them, or else I might just die from being deprived of them.

"Okay class, back to your seats. Give the poor foal some room to breathe." The crowd slowly dissipates and I am finally left alone and in peace. Well, almost. One very familiar looking pony remains, and she is staring at my flank.

"Ya don't have yer cutie mark?" Cheerilee gently nudges her away from me.

"Apple Bloom, go back to your seat so that we may begin our math lesson." Cheerilee waits until Apple Bloom is seated before beginning her lesson. "It's time for math!"
The class groaned. "Don't have that attitude, math is actually very interesting. It allows us to- Diamond Tiara, reassemble Scootaloo's calculator. You can't take apart your classmate's possessions. Scootaloo, Give Diamond Tiara her tiara back. I want to see both of you after school. Now, where was I? Oh yes, math. Everypony take out a sheet of paper." What paper? I don't have any paper. Everypony else bends down to retrieve a sheet from their backpack, but I don't have one. I guess I'll just sit here and do nothing. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Scootaloo doing... something. It looks as if she's trying to wrestle Diamond Tiara, but then why is Scootaloo's face in Diamond Tiara's butt? Scootaloo pulls away and sits with her head held high in satisfaction, leaving me a clear view of a horrified looking Diamond Tiara. Her cutie mark is covered in black scribbles. Scootaloo must've used a marker to mess up her enemy's cutie mark.

"First question: What is four times twelve?"

Diamond Tiara's hoof shot up into the air. Without waiting to be called on, she declared "Four hundred twelve."

"That is incorrect. And please wait to be called on next time."

"WHAT? It is most definitely correct."

"Sorry, but it's not. Here, I'll explain why on the board."

And so begins an hour of wasted time. I think I may have fallen asleep at some point, but I do know what basically happened. After an hour of Diamond Tiara stubbornly insisting that four times twelve is four hundred twelve and Cheerilee repeatedly explaining why it was wrong, Diamond Tiara put an end to it. "It is right because I SAY SO and if you disagree, I can get my daddy to sue you!" And with that, we were all dismissed for recess.

I had been planning to spend my recess by myself, but apparently, Apple Bloom has other ideas.

"So how are ya likin' school so far?"

"Never liked school and now isn't any different."

"It's really not that bad. Ya just have ta get used ta Diamond Tiara. HEY SWEETIE BELLE! SCOOTALOO!" Ow. That girl has volume. My ears flatten themselves against my head as the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders trot towards us. "Guess what? The new student doesn't have their cutie mark!" The other two fillies gape at me after Apple Bloom's announcement.

Scootaloo steps forward. "Wanna join our club? We're the-"

"I know, you're the Cutie Mark Crusaders and your mission is to find your special talent and earn your cutie marks." I don't think that they ever understood the fact that cutie marks aren't just random things, they're talents that the pony is good at and enjoys.

"Hey look, someone knows who we are!" Sweetie Belle exclaims. "So do you want to join?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Oh look, its time to go inside." I clumsily make my way back to the schoolhouse. I don't want to join a silly club that focuses on something that I don't care about. I'll admit, I'm curious about what my cutie mark would be if I got one, but it doesn't matter. Besides, I can't take Scootaloo seriously with her wings. She really looks like a chicken!

For the rest of the school day, we work on our writing. That is, everypony but me works on their writing. I, on the other hand, spend the entire time trying to figure out how to pick up a pencil with my mouth. Seriously, why can't I just be a unicorn? If I were a unicorn, I could just use my magic to write. But as luck would have it, I am just an earth pony. I am definitely not going to school tomorrow.

I am still slobbering all over my pencil when the bell rings. Not wanting to touch it, I leave my pencil on the desk as I heave myself out of the chair and crash onto the floor.

"Are you alright?" I look up to find a worried looking Earth Pony holding out her green hoof.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know how else to get off of these things." I accept her hoof and pull myself off of the floor. "Thanks, Earth."

"No problem. Want me to walk you home?" Home. Where would that be? Not here, but if I'm stuck in Equestria, I'm going to need a place to sleep.

"Actually, this is a bit embarrassing, but can I sleep over at your house?"

"Of course you can! But why is it embarrassing?"

"It's just... never mind."

"Okay then. Come on, let's walk home. I can introduce you to my parents and everything." I follow her out of the building and into the narrow unpaved streets of Ponyville. The reason why I'm hesitant to sleep over at Earth Pony's house is because, well, I'm a fifteen-year-old guy, and she's a... 9 year old girl I think. It's just... weird. What do girls do at sleepovers, anyway? Tea parties? Pillow Fights? Makeovers? I'm not to keen on getting my, er, hooves painted.

As we walk to her house, I try to start a conversation with Earth Pony.

"So what do you think of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?" Earth Pony looks over at me.

"You mean Scootaloo and her friends?" I nod. "Well, they seem nice and all, but they're a bit too obsessed with their cutie marks, and their 'crusading' gets out of hand sometimes. They've been known to completely destroy buildings. Besides, Scootaloo can be a bit too... violent for my taste."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you see her and Diamond in math class?"

"...Point taken." We walk in silence for the rest of the way to her house.

"Well, here we are," Earth Pony announces, "this is my house." It's a medium-sized bright pink house constructed from a material unbeknown to me.

"Are you sure that your parents are okay with this?"

"Of course they are, they love guests." And with that, we enter the house. I just hope we're not doing makeovers.

Comments

[Topaz Moon]

It is a nice start. I will wait a few more chapters before I decide on like of dislike, but it's looking closer to like atm.

[Sleepy Panda]

4175237 Thanks!

[Topaz Moon]

I do have a question though. I am assuming the picture for the cover art is supposed to be Nick/Berry since you mentioned a blue-green body. In chapter two however, you had her complaining about not being a unicorn. Is she a unicorn, and just not noticed the horn on her head sticking out? Or, is the picture just in error?

[Sleepy Panda]

4175334 Picture error, dangit. Wow, how did I not notice that?

[Topaz Moon]

4175339
Should be easy to fix, even in ms paint. It looks like the horn is within the hair. So, just use the color match dropper thing and then scribble over the horn and resave.

[Silv3r Shadow]

Cool start I noticed a few mistakes like that they use saddle bags, not backpacks, but still I guess through his perspective he would consider them backpacks. Nothing else just something I noticed.

[Silv3r Shadow]

One more thing:
If you're lookin' for an editor I'm open.

[Sleepy Panda]

4175435 too late, I just redesigned the whole thing

[Sleepy Panda]

4175477 I do need an editor. I'll let you know if I want you to look over a chapter before I post it.

[Silv3r Shadow]

4175545 Lol wow

[Luckyfanisaac]

"Do you like my tie?"

Sounds like something the doctor would say

to learn stuff! ---) "Haven't
You don't need that

[Luckyfanisaac]

Diamond Tiara's hoof shot up into the air. Without waiting to be called on, she declared "Four hundred twelve."

https://m.youtube.com/?reload=7&rdm=1n5muz1c2#/watch?v=48rz8udZBmQ

[Hoppa_21]

"So, class, today we have a new student! Why don't you come up to the board and introduce yourself to the class?"

She isn't going to aks her about her parents or anything? She just walks in and everything is settled?

"You mean Scootaloo and her friends?" I nod. "Well, they seem nice and all, but they're a bit too obsessed with their cutie marks, and their 'crusading' gets out of hand sometimes. They've been known to completely destroy buildings. Besides, Scootaloo can be a bit too... violent for my taste."

You clarified in the last chapter that they don't know what hands are, so them using the term seems strange.

[DerpTape]

6292185
She isn't an idiot she just uses alternative math. See how seven goes into twenty-eight, thirteen times.