Convention 13
Chapter 1
Nigel hadn’t been having been having a great day. Not only had his fucking AC broken in his apartment, which was in New Mexico, he was then late to work because the toss pot mechanic that works for the apartment was late, coming to his bloody fucking room to fix the fucking AC. His excuse?
He couldn’t find the bloody fucking room!
“It’s the only bloody fucking door with a fucking Australian flag on it!” Nigel fumed to himself.
Then, when he got to work, he was met by a group of characters that identified themselves as US Marines. Nigel had reason to believe them, not like he was going to call them liars. What with the assault rifles they were carrying. They then essentially served him a warrant, and had “pulled him for service to the US government.” They also confiscated his fucking phone!
So where was he now? In a Knighthawk, being flown to an undisclosed location. Nigel looked over to the Marine sitting adjacent to him. He had shaken his hand and had introduced himself, that is before his sergeant had cuffed him upside the head and told him to shut the fuck up. Dante, if Nigel remembered correctly. Nigel leaned forward to talk to him, perhaps worm their destination out of him. After all he said he was a big fan of his works.
“Hey kid,” Nigel asked. He continued as Dante leaned over. “You know where we’re going?” Dante reciprocated.
“Sorry sir, but we’re currently in major OPSEC. My entire fucking squad had their fucking phones confiscated. I’m on a Need-To-Know basis, and I currently know jackshit. Whatever it is, they don’t want anyone knowing.”
For the next two hours they said nothing. Merely staring at the walls. The rest of the squad was bantering on about what was happening. Nigel hated banter.
Location: [REDACTED], US.
Time: 14:20
[REDACTED] Squad is collecting [REDACTED]. He is here to help with an investigation of [REDACTED], as he is the leading expert [REDACTED], currently in the world. We have reason to believe there is [REDACTED] activity in the area.
Nigel woke as the helicopter settled. Dante was already up, with his pack on his back. Nigel took note of the and e-tool attached to the MOLLE webbing, and the tomahawk attached to his leg. The ramp opened, Dante and his squad were off in seconds. Forming a protective half-moon circle around the ramp, as Nigel followed slowly behind.
He stepped off the ramp into a green field, took note of the surrounding tents. Most of them weren’t even tents, rather pavilions. But he soon located what he thought was the command tent. Hundreds of military personnel were bumbling about
“Dante, you’ve been briefed on the layout. Show X-ray where he needs to go.” Dante’s CO ordered.
“Copy that Sarge!” Dante replied. Then moved to meet Nigel.
“Follow me, Sir.” With that Dante moved towards the tent that Nigel figured was the command tent.
“I don’t need a kid to show me where to go, tosspot!” Nigel threw at Dante. Dante, being the youngster he is, and the fact that had no clue what the fuck tosspot meant, was unaffected by this insult. He continued on his journey with Nigel audibly fuming.
They reached the door, with Dante holding it open and allowing Nigel, who was still fuming, in.
Nigel was met by a table and a rather angry looking angry marine standing behind it.
“You the Xenologist?” The angry marine asked. The name on his label being “Sgt. Masterson”.
“No, I’m the bloody fucking tooth fairy. You got a tooth you need pullin’? Of course I’m the bloody fucking xenologist. If I’m not, than these marines need to discharged for incompetence!” Nigel supplied.
“Don’t get cheeky. Now, Uncle Sam pulled you, because you are the world leading xenologist. At about 0350 last night, something crashed in this forest. Intel suggests Xeno activity in the immediate surrounding area. I don’t believe them. Currently, we do not believe the crashed object to be releasing radioactivity. The probes we send in are not recording any radiation, nor any bacteria. However, the probes are dieing before they can reach the crashed object due to heavy EMPs. This where you come in, Nigel, I am sending you to investigate. And you- what’s your name?” Masterson questioned Dante.
“Sir, PFC McClure, Sir.” Dante stated, standing at attention.
“Right, you’re acting as his security. You keep an eye on him. If any aliens decide to attack you, blast them away.” Masterson explained.
“Sir, permission to speak freely, sir?” Dante questioned.
“Granted.”
“Just me? Not an entire squad.”
“Son, I have got the entire state of Oregon and California flocking up here to see what happened. With only a little over one hundred marines to cover that. Giving you to him is already too much. Do you understand?”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
“Good, now Convention 13 states that fir-“ Nigel cut Masterson off.
“I fucking know what Convention 13 states, I don’t need to be reminded.”
“Well, then, there’s a jeep waiting outside for you all. Go ahead, you’re no longer needed here. At ease.” Masterson finished.
Nigel left first, with Dante following close behind. Nigel slowed down, and began speaking.
“Who’s driving?” He asked.
It turns out Dante was the one who would drive, the drive only lasting about ten minutes.
“Hey, Dante,” Nigel began. “Give me a gun.”
Dante looked at him, with a surprised look. “I can’t give you a gu-“
“Don’t give me that gobshite. I served in the Australian Army, I know how to handle a gun.”
Dante, looked at Nigel, looked back in front of him, then looked back at Nigel. Sighing, Dante released the M9 from the Serpa holster attached to the MOLLE on his vest. Handing the handgun over to Nigel. Nigel gained a very creepy grin on his face as he took hold of the handgun. This unnerved Dante, but he kept his expression.
“Got any extra mags?” Nigel asked. Dante grabbed the two extra mags on his chest and tossed them over to Nigel, who deftly caught them.
Dante continued on with the driving.
They reached the point where they could drive no longer, and disembarked from the Jeep. Dante grabbing his SBR HK416 from the back, and Nigel grabbing the duffel bag of equipment a second team had taken from his lab for him.
“Wankers better not have damaged any of it.” Nigel mused.
Dante merely rolled his eyes.
She had nothing to live for, her entire race was dead and it was her fault. She couldn’t block out the sounds of the last few of her children being ripped to shreds by predators. She felt their pain, and their anguish, their hatred for her. She knew she deserved it all.
She just wanted to die.
She had no place to go, the ponies hated her, as well as the gryphons, the minotaurs, and even the goats.
No place.
Until Celestia came and told her of their plan, her race may be dead, but she was still the leader of a species. They had found a way to go to an alien planet. They wanted the leader of every species available for a possible first contact.
A home, a place where she could escape the pains of Equestria, where she could restarts her species, make them stronger! As a plus, if there were any sapient being on this planet, they wouldn’t know of her crimes.
For the first time in months, her green eyes shone with life.
Looks interesting ... you may continue.
Edit: Well would you look at that, i got first post :3
Favorited, because marines are awesome and Nigel is one crazy motherfucker.
Nigel Thornberry, looks interesting. You set this up to have an interesting back story, so don't screw it up :P
Realisticly giving up your sidearm for any reason is a stupid idea.
But fuckit for the sake of the story!
also
4093911
Sonuvabitch.
I knew I was going to fuck something up.
Thanks for pointing it out.
And, yes, realistically, that would've never happened. But he gets the vibe that Nigel would just annoy him until he got the weapon. So he gave in quickly.
It was pretty.
(Not to be taken seriously, but his is an interesting story, if it makes you feel better)
1)Who the fudge is Nigel?!
2) Also, unfinished sentence.
3) Wait a minute, what the fudge is going on?!
4) "Obvious question to an obvious answer." Cliché.
kalafudra.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/tooth-fairy.jpg
5) You must be one manly tooth fairy, Sir.
6) Wait...they don't know who's driving?! Their marines!! Their lucky that it was an ally driving the vehicle! Put the enemy as the driver and they can easily become sucide car crashers!!
7) I'm guessing that's either Applejack or Twilight...or Spike.
8) If Spike lived, he's gonna have a girlfriend in the sapient world, I called it.
9) "My friends//family is dead I'm sad" Cliché.
10) Wait a minute, Celestia has a plan?! Does she even have the magic to do it?! Don't pull that, 'She's got little magic left', Equestria is in ruins! And theirs no way Luna is part of this! Theirs no other sister! It didn't say that in the chapter! I may be wrong here, but if the next chapter doesn't involve her sister, Celestia, and Twilight pulling that off, than you can't explain that!
11) Twilight did a crime?! Dis gun be gud.
12) Now thinking about it, did a nuclear war happen...or...did they just go war on themselves like we humans did? Either way, a Fallout reference is in their somewhere.
13) Restart her species?! Are they planning on having sex?! Can thy turn into humans so this at least doesn't gross me out? No? ...Fudge
14) She went into the universe and died, the end.
BONUS ROUND: How many references are found in here?
15) CoD
16) Battlefield
17) GTA
18) Fallout
19) Tooth Fairy: The Movie
20) That One Planet Earth Movie from Cartoon Network
21) Nazi Zombies
Total Sins: 21
Solution: War (The hilarious kind)
4094140
...
What?
The only Nigel I want to know about I Nigel M. Chalmers. Yes, the "M" stands for "Motherfucking," and no, you don't want to piss him off.
other than that, looks promising.
4094158
That... uh, that's who this Nigel is.
I got permission from DropBear.
4094167
Oh cool...
Might want to mention that somewhere...
Sorry...
*Sinks into ground, waiting for it to swallow me and my shame*
Nigel reads more like a cranky pom than an Australian dude. It's really not the best characterization I've seen.
4094153 Just a little joke, and a few questions from me, but other than that, this story's great!
4094300
Meh, I'm American. I don't quite know how to write Australians.
4094382
Most of them will be touched on in the next chapter, and some of them had context clues.
4094244
It's okay.
4094153 I believe that was to be some form of review... have you edited this chapter? If not, I believe he might be listing off the cliches he thinks your story may/does contain.
An Australian that didnt say 'Cunt'?
Impossible!!!!
But seriously, if ya need an aussie to give you a hand with stuff, give us a bell.
4094384 It's fine and understandable. Absolutely nobody here says 'gobshite' though -- and believe me, I have lived in some very fucking ocker areas -- and the quantity of swearing/"bloody fucking" doesn't make him seem any more Australian. It just comes across as cartoonish and, as I said, makes him read like a cranky British dude with a foul mouth.
4095540
There's a plan for that in the future.
Oh shit, magic acts as EMP?
4097076
Massive concentrations, yes.
4097157 Fuck. There goes our only advantage. Does EMP shielding work?
4097170
Yes, it does. But like I said, massive concentrations. You also have to be in close proximity to it. This will be explained in later chapters.
4097170
Although I have to disagree that being our only advantage.
4097209 Ok.
4098286
You'll see.
4098296
Yeah, I just need to find the inspiration for the next chapter.
My train of thought has a shitty conductor.