Pony vs. Food

by TheOneAJ

The Pinkie Promise Challenge

Pony vs. Food logo flashes on the screen, the wrestling bell rings, and the camera transitions to Adam taking his first bite of the Pinkie Promise cupcake.

I’m at Sugarcube Corner, the go-to hub for anything sweet in Ponyville. Adam pulls his face out of the cupcake. Where I am beginning my cupcake quest to devour a seven-pound cupcake in one sitting. The odds are against me, but I made a Pinkie Promise, and I plan to see through.

“Go Adam go!” the crowd chants. “Go Adam go!”

“Way to go, Adam,” Fluttershy cheers in the back corner while waving a Pony vs. Food flag.

Adam takes a knife and begins to cut the cupcake in half, horizontally. My strategy is planned out. He takes the cupcake top off and digs into the bottom half. Now, I just have to pray to Celestia that it works.

"My plan is to finish the less appealing bottom half first." He places his hoof over the bottom half. "Then, I go for the more tasty top." He pats the top half. "I'll see you later, beautiful."

Adam takes a break from the cupcake to address the camera. “It’s really,” he say, shoving more into his mouth, “moist. I’m not sure if it’s because of its size or what, but so far, it’s not that hard going down." He takes another large bite. "Either way, while I don't have a time limit, time isn't going to be my friend. I have to get this thing finished before it sinks into my stomach.”

****************

“I think he can do it,” Raindrop says. “I’ve seen a lot of ponies try, but I honestly think he can.”

*****************

“It’s a lost cause if you ask me.” Rarity rolls her eyes. “I mean, it so uncouth these—” she scrunches her face—“eating competitions.”

***************

Colgate shakes her head. “You ponies are all crazy, but I think he can do it.”

***************

"He better not give up," Mayor Mare says. "I have good money on him winning."

"Those aren't tax bits, are they?" somepony on the side asks. Mayor Mare avoids their eyes.

**************

“Let’s go, Adam!” Sweetie Bell cheers. She stomps her hooves on the ground, and everypony follows suit.

“Let’s go, Adam!” Everypony starts to stomp. "Let's go, Adam!"

With a supportive crowd behind me, I finish the bottom half of the cupcake in only ten minutes.

Adam raises his hooves in the air. “The bottom half is done!” The crowd responds with a wave of cheers.

****************

"You can do it, Adam!" Bulk Biceps flexes his muscles. "YEAH!

******************

But I’m just a third of the way done. He dives into the top half, face covered with frosting when he surfaces.

*************

“Adam is, like, so amazing.” Lotus squeals.

“Oh, totally,” Aloe grins. “I wonder if he has a marefriend?”

Bon-Bon zips over and stares down Aloe. “Yes he does! So you better back off before— hey!” She swats away a pair of hooves belonging to a sercutiy pony.

"Madam," he says, "you're going to have to come with me."

Bon-Bon's eyes widen. "What, why?"

"For harassing Mr. Rice on multiply occasions."

"Yeah, over my dead body!" she shoves him aside as he, along with several police ponies, give chase.

"Bon-Bon!" Lyra and Noteworthy cry out right behind them.

****************

I push through the next third, easy breezy. The camera begins to blur. Then, I hit the dreaded sugar wall.

“Oh...” he holds a hoof to his face. “I knew this moment was going to hurt, but wow. Oh my.”

He looks towards the camera. "The hardest part of any starch challenge is when bread begins to expand in your stomach. And now..." He wipes some sweat from his forehead. "It's happening." Adam crosses his eyes. “Oh, its fighting back.” He takes a minute to breathe before taking the next bite, smaller than the others. “Somepony should make a horror based movie on this cupcake.”

*********************

Pinkie Pie shakes her head. “So far, Adam is only a few bits away from passing the record the last guy had. I don’t know... He Pinkie Promised, but he’s not looking good.”

******************

Rose shakes her head. "I thought he could do it, but now it's not looking so good."

********************

Nurse Redheart wheels in the gurney. "We'll be ready for him."

*******************

I am but a pound away from finishing this thing, when I reach the point of no return. Adam places a hoof on his head. I want to go on, but the challenge is getting harder.

********************

“I’m sorry, everypony,” Adam says five minutes later. “I don’t think I can go on.”

The crowd moans. Most try to convince him to keep going.

Adam holds up his hooves, face hanging down. He places his hoof on the table next to the unfished cupcake. “It looks like in this battle, food—"

The door swings open as a heavenly light shines through the restaurant. Just when I was about to give up, Adam stares wide-eyed at Celestia, I am visited by a goddess.

“Sorry I’m late, everypony.” Celestia glance upon Adam. “How are you doing, Adam?" She raises an eyebrow. "You weren’t about to give up, were you?”

I am both honored and wetting my seat at the same time. “Oh no, no.” He shoves another mouthful, pain radiating from his eyes as he shallows. “I wasn’t going to give up.”

“Good.” She leans over and kisses him on the head. The crowd gasps, Twilight faints, Bon-Bon's looks conflicted. “Because I, your Princess, command you to finish this cupcake!”

With a direct order from not one, but two Princesses, I find my second wind. Dramatic music plays in the background. I can’t give up now. He swoops up a hoof-full of cupcake into his mouth. The crowd loses it.

***************

“He’s going to do it!” Derpy cries out as Hooves and Dinky keep her grounded.

****************

Applejack tips her hat. “Ah reckon he’s going to make it after all.”

****************

Rarity scuffs. “So barbaric.”

“Agreed,” Colgate nods her head. “So, why are we here again?”

******************

“Come on, Adam!” Carmel shouts. "You can do it!"

I push through, bite, after bite, after painful bite. He wipes his face off with a towel. Until I am down to my last bite.

“Come on, Adam!” Pinkie Pie motions as she helps the wobbling lavender alicorn up from the floor. “One more bite.” Twilight looks around, and falls back down when she sees Celestia cheering Adam on.

“One more bite, one more bite, one more bite!”

Taking a deep breath, he shoves the cupcake piece into his mouth, and swallows. Then, as the crowd starts to cheers, Adam bends under the table, making barfing sounds.

The crowd is silent. Nopony moves, only Fluttershy's pet cricket, Ben, can be heard.

Seconds pass. Adam returns topside, eye's crossed, head spinning.

Pinkie Pie races over to inspects the area. Even Ben has gone silent.

Pinkie Pie eventually surfaces, empty bucket in hoof.

“It's clean! He did it!”

Fluttershy's cheer startles everypony. "Woohoo, he did it!

Once the shock is over, everypony joins in and loses it, except for a few of Mayor Mare's friends. Hugs are exchanged, tears are shed, and confetti flies everywhere as more fires out of the party cannon.

Adam tries to get up, but Bon-Bon burst into the restaurant, races up to him, pushes him down, throws his head back, and plants a big sloppy kiss onto his lips.

Adam fights back, but Bon-Bon keeps him firmly connected as the kiss lasts a full minute. Adam doesn't complain after a while, mostly because of the his sugar high.

Bon-Bon eventually breaks the kiss. She then go bonkers. “HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!” She runs off, laughing her head off the whole way as security and police ponies give chase.

“Bon-Bon!” Lyra shouts right behind them.

Adam’s eyes begin to realign. “I won’t be forgetting this town."

He then realizes what he has done and stands up to address the crowd. "Today, in the battle of pony versus food—" he holds up the tray in victory—"pony won!" The crowd celebrates like it's the end of the world. Pinkie Pie puts up her 'Adam won the Pinkie Promise Challenge' banner.

Author's Note:

Couldn't find anything close to just a still of the Avatar Theme playing in the background. Sorry, but please point me in the right direction if you can find such a video. And yes, Lavender unicorn, I had to put it in here somewhere or else it would be a proper Fim fic story.

Comments

[Randominos]

Good chapter.

[Kenshinryuu]

Yay, he finished it!

I wouldn't mind seeing more of these with other food places around Equestria.

[forrest yuchnitz]

yaaaaay he won and more bon bon antics

[soulknight13]

GIVE ME MOAR this was so goodcand funny

[Princess LightningChaser]

previous chapter: a scene with the whole shop singing a bar song (beer being replaced with sugar). i'm more partial to milk

[Godslittleprincess]

Yeah, that Avatar finale music that you used is more calming that dramatic, but this was an oddly satisfying ending. Yeah, Bon Bon does realize that she gave Adam video evidence that could get her put away for sexual harassment, right? I'm just saying.