Chapter XLIX: Loss, and Conversion
David hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it sure as hell wasn’t a damned vault door. All hastily-riveted steel and massive hinges, just waiting for Scrooge McDuck to pop it open for an afternoon swim. Of course, this one had a numbered keypad as opposed to one of those massive combination locks with the giant pointless handles, but he supposed not everything was going to look like he thought it would.
“Bloody hell,” Lisa mumbled. “It’s like they took a door off Sotheby’s and just wielded it in place.”
“HSBC Bank, actually,” Peters said, striding towards the lock.
“Wah...seriously!?”
“They needed something to keep the Princess contained a lot more than they needed something pretty,” he said, his brow furrowed as he squinted at the keys. “It gets the job done.”
“Contact!” Felipe gasped behind them. He’d been posted up to watch around the corner. Now, all eyes turned on him, widening in horror as footsteps tapped down the hall towards them.
Lisa felt around for the Admiral’s shoulder. “Get us in there.”
”I’m trying!” He gasped. “The cypher says this is what it should be for another two hours, at least!”
“Unless the cypher changed, dear Admiral.”
Everyone gave pause at that, every stomach hitting the floor at the sound of M’s voice. The sound of tapping footsteps drew nearer. Felipe readied his weapon, frowning down the sights. The tapping of leather shoes was matched by the shuffling of more boots clomping along towards them.
“No...how...?” Lisa moaned, her shoulders slumping hopelessly even as the rifle automatically rose to her shoulder.
“You didn’t really think a stunt like this could work, did you?” M chided as he rounded the corner, flanked by a couple of soldiers. Peters’ nostrils flared, but he stayed silent. Somehow, nobody in the small aisle thought Peters giving the command would make anyone drop their weapons. “Or did you really think I wouldn’t notice that little purchase you made back in port, Admiral? A disposable cell phone? Really?”
Peters balked as the group paled. “He bugged it...” he moaned.
“Right you are, and from there I pieced two and two together from King Armor’s timely arrival.” M tsked, the confident grin on his face never looking more punchable, never wavering as he neared. “Though I doubt he’ll retain that title for much longer after this. Not to worry, you can all share the same cell and watch Ceres end it all when the UN gives me a free pass to New Equestria.”
Lisa’s jaw clenched. “You let us get this far so you could get on a lifeboat!?”
“The world’s ending, madam. Proving to the UN that our usefulness can extend beyond this little boat is all that matters. You can all drop those weapons: I have a full battalion ready to fall upon you, and without the code, trying to fight now would be pointless. You’re cornered.”
Felipe reached to his pack, hand wrapping around the neck of the bottle of potion, but Lisa stopped him with a hand. “It takes time for it to kick in. He could rush us and gun us all down while you’re halfway transformed.”
With a shivering breath, he lowered the bottle back into its pocket.
“M? Listen,” David spoke up, his M4 dangling from its sling. “You gotta realize this is the only way. I mean, evacuating to Equestria? How sustainable do you really think that is?”
M’s eyes narrowed on the American, though he stifled a yawn. “It doesn’t matter what I think, and it matters even less what a crippled t-terrorist thinks.” He spat. “Whatever bullshit you’ve dreamed up, you can save it for your celly.”
“The princess can take her!” David insisted, his arm sinking to the side. “You know she can!”
“If...she’s not in cahoots with...her...” M let out a gasp, his face paling. He pulled out a kerchief and dabbed at his forehead. At this point, even the guards at his side were starting to look over at him in concern. The kerchief fell from his hand. “Then...we lose the one thing...we have to bargain with...”
Lisa’s head tilted curiously, but by then, a wide smile was stretching across the Admiral’s face. “Whatsamatter, smurfette?” He chided. “Can’t handle your drink?”
M looked up at him, eyes wide. Stooping to try and pick up the kerchief, he instead stumbled forward. “Sir!” One of the guards gasped, but M paid them no mind.
“P-Poison...” he grunted, glaring with eyes that swam and rolled like the sea outside, a dribble of spit racing from the corner of his mouth.
“I have the antidote, M! It’s hidden on the boat!” Peters shouted, stepping forward, his eyes blazing with a fury that hadn’t been seen in his eyes in decades. “You won’t find it in time if I don’t tell you where it is!”
The whole group blinked in surprise. The guards took a step back, leaving M on the floor, breathing heavily. “Bastard!” He gasped, smacking the palm of his hand down.
“Very much so. Clock’s ticking!”
Breathing heavily, M’s head sank. He chuckled. “Bloody bastard,” he grunted as he pushed himself up. Behind him, a dozen or so boots hammered against the metal, but he knew they would do him no good. “One-two-three-four-four!”
Lisa facepalmed even as she turned to dial it in. “Christ amighty God, it’s a bloody Spaceballs moment...” she murmured under her breath.
Andre and Francis kept their rifles up, aimed down the hallway at M while the rest of the group watched Lisa work with bated breath. When she keyed in the final number, there was a pause where many a stomach dropped and many a breath halted, and then a loud buzz sounded followed by a green LED lighting up, accompanied with the hydraulic hiss of numerous locks sliding out of place. “Oh thank God...” she muttered as the door slid away.
“Peters!” M growled, quivering on the floor. He flipped over on his back, breathing hard. “You got what you want, you bastard! Where’s the antidote!?”
As the door opened just wide enough to allow Lisa and Shining to slip through, the old man looked back with a grin. “I’m just an old drunk, M. Why would I know somethin’ like that?”
M coughed, choked. “Peters!” He bellowed, but the Admiral had already turned away, heading for the widening gap in the door creaking open. “Peters, you bloody bastard!”
As the opening widened, allowing most of the group through, Peters paused, looked back over his shoulder, and grinned.
Darkness closed in around M. Francis and Andre were still watching the hallway, but in that moment, they became secondary to him. All he saw was that old bastard, grinning at him. One of his guards crept forward to pull him back behind the corner and to some semblance of safety, and in a flash, M suddenly knew what was going to happen.
He was going to die. Not in the safety of New Equestria, but right here, on this stupid, pointless boat. He was going to die.
But he’d be damned if the old bastard wasn’t coming with him.
As the guard hauled him back, M suddenly crouched, twisted. In a flash, the guard was an armored, living shield. His mouth twisted in an O of surprise. M’s hand raced to his holster. The first shots from Andre and Felipe’s rifles tore into the guard’s back. M’s hand came up with a sidearm. “Peters!” He bellowed. A few more rounds cracked around him. One winged his shoulder.
Peters stopped. He turned. The smile faded from his face.
The pistol barked twice.
M screamed, even as the first few rounds from Andre finally hit home, tearing off the top half of his index and shattering his middle and ring fingers, but now it was in pain and triumph.
Both his shots struck the Admiral dead center.
David let out a surprised yelp as Peters slumped back against him. Outside, M’s pistol hit the floor in a spray of blood. More shots rang out, the remaining guard opening fire as Andre and Felipe finally pulled back to duck inside with the rest of the group.
The Admiral laid on the floor, a large bloom of red spreading across his chest.
“Shit,” Andre hissed.
“Get the bloody door, you dumb poofter!” He coughed.
After a pause, Andre whipped around, dialing the code in and waiting for the first hiss of hydraulics as the door started to close, then letting off a few shots into the keypad. As a final thought, he tossed a flashbang over his shoulder before ducking inside with the rest of the group.
A few more shots cracked wildly into the vault as the door closed, then it hissed shut with an air of finality. They were inside and safe, but not whole.
Peters laid on the floor, the angry red blossom now coating the entire front of his chest. He spat angrily, sourly. “Probably the most accurate shots that pencil-dicked paper-pusher ever took in his life!” He said through a painful grin, red staining his teeth.
“Move aside!” Francis screamed, already pulling a roll of gauze from his field pack, but the Admiral only hissed and held up a hand.
“My lungs are fillin’ with blood, nothing short of a damned cardio unit’ll save me.” He grumbled. “Dammit, of all the ones to die first, really didn’t want it to be me...”
Lisa knelt at his side. “That was terribly brave, sir.”
“First brave thing I’ve done in decades,” Peters gave her another red grin, this was genuine. “All that time fallin’ in line with the smurfs, finally got to tell ‘em where to shove it.”
“At least you got M in the end, sir.”
“Naw,” Peters chuckled. “I just roofie’d him. Bastard’ll be fine in a few hours...sans a few fingers, I think. I’ll have you to thank for that.” He added with a smile up at the group.
“Sir...” Shining Armor stepped forward. “Is there...anything you want us to do?”
“Yeah,” he looked up at the pony. “Save us. From ourselves. Keep those idiots from ending everything outta fear.”
He smiled again.
“And get me a drink for the bloody road, will ya?”
To no one’s surprise, David leaned down with a flask, from which the Admiral drank greedily. “Whiskey...” he whispered. “Didn’t know it could be so sweet.”
“It’s just some bottom-shelf Jack...” David whispered.
“Nectar of the bloody gods.” The Admiral whispered. That smile remained on his face, yellowed teeth stained red. “There’s better stuff in the top drawer of my desk, once ya…get to it…” the light slowly left his wrinkled eyes. And he faded away.
The group all stared at each other. Akshat muttered a short prayer as Andre crossed himself. The rest left them to it. They knew what needed to be done: the next doors needed to be overcome with magic. But not just any magic. They needed another unicorn.
Felipe withdrew the potion, held it up to the dim light of their small, metal chamber. He let out a long breath. For some reason, he thought the liquid seemed dimmer here, as if it didn’t shimmer the way it had back in the apartment, but he chalked it up to the light inside the vault.
He looked over the group, the only people he could possibly call friends, and uncorked the bottle. Lisa. Akshat. Francis. Andre. Chen. David averted his gaze at the last second, unscrewing the cap on his canteen and downing a swig. Felipe couldn’t blame him.
“We’ll remember you,” Lisa whispered, her voice cracking.
Felipe nodded, his hands shaking as he brought the vial up.
“This is unfair.” Akshat whispered.
“No it’s not,” Felipe smiled. “Remember what we said back in the apartment? It’s the most fair thing we’ve ever done.”
“Do you...want to say something before you...” Shining motioned to the bottle.
Felipe bit his lip. Closed his eyes. Thought for a minute or two. The gentle hum of the carrier felt like it was trying to lull him to sleep, only interrupted by another swallow from David taking a swig off his canteen. He really, really hoped it was just water the guy was chugging, but knew he wouldn’t hold it against him if it wasn’t.
What could Felipe say? What did someone say here, at the end of the road? What could possibly summarize an entire life?
All at once, he knew.
He opened his eyes again, a curious smile on his face. “Fanfiction.” He croaked.
“What?” Lisa asked.
“Fanfiction. That shit you heard me working on the whole time I was in the office? I was writing fanfiction and uploading it to a secure server at home. That’s why I was always so cagey with my work.” He gave a trembling smile.
“What kind of…” David started, then his eyes widened. A grin spread across his face as he slammed his fist against the bulkhead. “No damn way!”
Felipe grinned. “What can I say? The show just really appealed to me, and Fluttershy is ultimate, S-tier waifu.”
Akshat was the first to burst out laughing, but the others followed in quick succession. The whole room laughing, the tension easing, Felipe holding up the vial like it was a wine glass and he was giving a toast.
“Username TrapSpeaks420!” He guffawed. “Look me up some time!”
That got more roaring laughter, all except for Chen, who paused to blink in surprise, even as the others slowly calmed, the laughter dying down. Still riding the high of it, Felipe realized he would never have a better time to get the potion past his lips. Without further ado, he raised it the final few inches to his face, held it up in toast to the others, and poured its contents down his throat.
He lowered his hand, the bottle empty. He let it clatter to the floor. A shivering breath passed his lips.
The whole room stood in sudden, solemn silence. The residual smiles on everyone’s faces had long faded away. Now, they only waited. Like in the final moments before a prisoner’s execution, they waited.
After a moment, Chen spoke up: “You’re really TrapSpeaks420?” He asked.
Felipe blinked, looked over at him. “Yes?”
A thin smile stretched Chen’s lips. “I’m your biggest fan. A Princess and Her Queen was a masterpiece.”
A hollow, half-hearted version of the laughter that had filled the room moments before made its rounds, ambling calmly where the previous laugh had swept through them like a tidal wave. It settled into an uncomfortable silence, ebbing away as Felipe shifted on his feet. After another minute, Shining blinked.
“It...should be doing something by now.”
Felipe looked around the room in surprise. “Oh...oh shit, don’t tell me it was a dud!?”
Lisa stood, rushing over to feel his forehead. “Do you feel anything at all?”
“A bit shaky, but…” he cleared his throat, took a few hops, rubbed his stomach, then looked desperately around the room. “Oh damn…does anyone know if these expire!?”
“I was so relieved when you drank it and nobody said anything about needing to douse yourself, or something.”
All eyes turned to the American as he spoke up; David leaning against the bulkhead, downing the last few swigs off his canteen.
“Was worried if I had to empty it over myself, someone would’ve noticed and tried to stop me,” he said, his head bowed, tucking back in his collar. “Drinking it was easier. Didn’t even taste all that bad...little sugary, but not bad.”
Only now did everyone see the way he trembled, how his eyes were a little bit bigger, and where before his surplus uniform had fit him perfectly it now seemed to be spilling over him, like a child trying on daddy’s work coat for the first time. The canteen slipped from his hands, and a few drops from inside shimmered with powerful magic in the dark. He gave an all-too-wide grin.
“And here, I was worried for nothing.”
“David?” Lisa asked, stepping towards him. “Wh-what did you do?”
He let out a breath. “Something better than leaving it up to chance. Something more useful than a drunk with a missing hand.” To emphasize, he held up his stump, and all eyes widened. He followed their gaze to find a soft, still-forming hoof in the spot where his nub used to be, coarse hair growing along the length of his arm. “Huh...yeah, that’s pretty fast.”
Cursing, Felipe rushed to David’s side. He stepped on the bottle, stumbling as it shattered beneath his boots. Even so, Akshat beat him, holding the American by his shoulders. “S-someone help me with him!”
“It…won’t do any good…” Shining gasped. “He drank the whole thing. It’s all over his insides…”
“David!?” Felipe howled, butting in beside Akshat.
Dave turned to him, his lips peeling back into a forced smile.
“Why, dammit!?”
“Wasn’t gonna be much use. You know that…” David shook his head on a neck that was slowly elongating. “Shouldn’t have let me go to the bathroom with it. Dumped out my whiskey and smuggled it out in the flask.”
“Oh my god…” Lisa gasped, reaching for the trio, but not doing much else. Even Akshat and Felipe appeared powerless, grasping his shoulders and shaking but apparently unable to do anything else. What was she going to do? What could any of them do?
As a glossy sheen formed over David’s growing pupils, Felipe looked him in the eyes, baring his teeth. “Not fair, you bastard.” He hissed.
David offered up an eerily-large grin, wincing as his remaining fingers fused together. “Cry me a bucking river.”
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Oh that sly fucker.
11607354
Courtesy of us typical Americans... 😏😎👍😂
11617818
That’s why we hate and love you!
Yoooo we got a brony booooiiiii
Lmao 💀😂💀😂💀😂💀😂