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10007468
Chapter 86: Furnace Creek.
Still reading, still loving, still dying by 'said'. Discord is planning to 'capture the Princesses'.
Like it's gonna go smoothly.
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In reply to last reply:
Don't write what you want or don't notice; write for your readers. For Example, off the top of my head:
Can you see why 'said' might be overused to other people? It may 'detract' from the experience, but having everyone saying something and never actually conveying emotion can mean a break in the context that leaves the reader to fill in the emotions... what if it's a funny event and someone wants to be serious?
So, how was Pinkie actually feeling during that scene? Was she sad, hiding behind her smile, smiling weakly and barely holding back sobs? We don't know, because all they did was say things to one another. Colorful adjectives have a very important part in our language, otherwise you're going to have to add a lot more detail to describe each person's actions to convey what an excluded 'laughed', 'exclaimed', or 'said softly'.
This is author to author, and I don't mean to sound mean, it's constructive for your future stories. I don't expect you to change the hundreds of thousands of words on my account, just to know that adjectives are your friends and many people, especially the imaginative readers, need those to keep them in context rather than, like me, have to stop and go back to figure out how one character is feeling to attach it to what they're saying two paragraphs later.
That's all. Keep writing, you're really doing a great job and the whole story is fantastic. Don't let my one-off stop you.
10060860
Zam! Glad you're still enjoying it. I'm starting to wonder whether I use "said" more than I think, now. If so, I will need to watch for that. I don't like to explicitly state my characters' feelings very much, except in places where what they're feeling is beside the point, but I also don't want those feelings to be occluded. In the chapter I'm working on now, I'll put in a note to myself to check for that on the reread, to see whether my little ponies are feeling as clearly as I think they are.
Thanks for the comments. These are the sorts of things that give me a much welcomed shot of inspiration to keep working.
the datura work etic is absolutely descusting