- Member Since 10th Aug, 2012
- offline last seen February 24th
little guy
What more can I say? I'm a little guy.
little guy
Joined 10th Aug, 2012 ·
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- CopperTop · 1.1m words · 65 17 · 2.2k views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is actually a very well written story, and i'm surprised it only has a 7/2 rating since i feel such a interesting concept and good writing style makes for an excellent story! Although I am curious about the mature/sex/gore rating... but besides that please keep writing as i have been looking for a new good series to read as the "upheaval" series on this website is slow in updates as well as many others. Wonderful job though!
keep up the good work and I look forward to the next chapter good sir! 
Oh! P.S. ,good twist on the whole "pinkie is all powerful' idea instead of the usual "twilight do everything!"
4106379
Thanks! Yeah, I kind of get tired of Twilight having the monopoly on demigod powers, and I don't think I've ever seen Pinkie's cartoon physics thing rationalized and taken to its natural conclusion. And don't worry; the sex and gore will come. This is a long story, and while it starts off relatively tame, things get really crazy later on. All things in their time.
If all of Equestria is floating in the sky is Cloudsdale in Space?
I'll admit, some of the setup here is a bit stilted (Most prominently, Discord having an army, and not being a trickster? I assume you have a plan, there), but it looks real promising so far.
Also, I want to ask you about the sex tag. Are there actually going to be explicit sex scenes somewhere along the line? Exactly what do you have in mind, there?
4110644
I'll grant you that the setup is rather wonky. All things will be explained, though. Discord is... weird. Plus, this was written before his character was more firmly established.
As for the sex, yes, there will be some content, be it actual sex scenes or just sexual thoughts or occurrences. I don't want to say exactly what I have in mind, but there will be a pretty graphic lesbian scene, as well as a very bizarre sex dream, among other, smaller, things.
Oh, and thanks for the favorite.
4110482
Not quite, but it's pretty high up there. Should be about 12,000 feet above sea level, if I'm calculating that correctly.
Haha alright well I'll be along for the journey so onito the next chapter!
́̕͢t̢̕͠ｈ͠͏ｅi͏ｎｃｏ͝ｎ̶̵ｇ̶ｒ͠ｕ͟͏ｉ̡̀͞ｔ̀͘ｙi͘ｓ̷d͡ｅ͞ｌ̕ｉｂ͟͞ｅ͢͟͞ｒ͡ａ̷ｔｅ
Very intriguing so far. Pinky is much less irritating when you see that she can be useful and not just a complete air-head.
4153251
Thanks. Yeah, Pinkie was interesting to write. She's... well, you might not be saying that later. Let's leave it at that.
w̛i̛t̕h̶in he͠r ̧dream͠s̀ ̴s̀h̕e̵ ́k҉n͟o̸ws̵ wh҉a͢t͝ sh̨e̶ ͡s͟h̷o͞ul҉d͢ not
4185874
What is this? I don't know whether I like it.
Will Rainbow Dash be beating anybody up in this story?
4237621
What a strangely specific question. She doesn't beat anyone up in the sense that I think you mean, that is, punching and kicking at them until they run away, schoolyard bully style. However, she will be violent to varying extents. They all will.
The more I read the better it gets! How long is your story going to be? I guess it would be a spoiler to ask if Pinky Pie dies..
She's my favorite!!!
4259405
Thanks! Answers to both your questions would be spoilers, in their ways. Some twists would be made less meaningful if you knew how long this thing is. I'll say this: the pace at which I am going currently is the one I tend to maintain. There's no huge "and then it was all better" spell, no deus ex machina, nothing like that. It's long.
None of the main crew will be permanently removed from the story.
Where is she? She was supposed to be here. She lives here. Where is she? They need her. They NEED her. THEY NEED HER.
Man, the new story picture was starting to get my hopes up that the intrigue was being kicked into high gear.
I mean, the past few chapters have been nice and all, but I've been kind of hoping for more expansion on questions like "Why are some ponies acting stranger than others" and "Who the fuck would join a Discord Army in the first place"
Like, now would be an appropriate time to have a Villain pop up and start making some plot happen.
4325551
Having spent so much time on this, thinking about it, writing it, and reading it, it becomes very difficult for me to think about things in terms of how a reader might see it, so I'm actually glad you point these questions out. Ponies acting differently is just a matter of some folks having differing personalities; some are nice, some are unfriendly, some have their quirks... and so on. That's not to say that some things aren't deliberately out-of-place. I want readers to notice certain ponies more than others.
However, I hadn't considered that people might wonder where Discord got the resources to do what he did; that sounds silly, but I've lived in this thing for years, knowing it for myself. Some things slip. So thanks for asking; I already know how to explain it in the next chapter.
Your comment is particularly well-timed, because we happen to get a very important character in chapter 18. I like that you're paying attention to the cover image.
How can Rainbow ask this if she's not there at the time?
4337151
Oh, snap. Thanks for pointing that out. It's been corrected.
I'm surprised there aren't more followers. This is an incredibly well written story. It's obvious that much research was done and that you aren't using, "oh, it's magic," as the explanation for many things. I love and appreciate a long story and am in until the end. Thanks for having the guts and tenacity to build a novel of a story!
4461326
Thanks for all that! You're right; I did do a lot of research for this, both of the show and of some of the topics I cover. Even the tiny, incidental things. I'm just glad you like it so far.
"What's the worst that could happen." indeed.
Hope this isn't a dumb question; What kind of cutie mark does Derpy have?
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The kind that goes on her flanks and determines her special talent. Haha, yes, very funny. Okay, a lot of folks think it's bubbles, and I do too, but I've also heard someone say it's hailstones, and her special talent is ice-related weather. Go ahead and look up a picture of her.
Things are really heating up now! So many ponies keeping so many secrets. I get the feeling somepony's going to flip her feedbag eventually. Keep the chapters coming little guy!
4603241
Glad you're enjoying it.
They may trust him 'til the two are done, but she is not the friend she seems.
4659288
Huh. I was wondering where you'd gone.
Well... it was interesting
I love how you use Rarity's element against her.
4982711
Thanks. I kind of felt sorry for her, but kind of not. She could have said "no."
So, I assume that after this there will be very little in the way of sexual content, right?
Because that very thing is what's making it so hard to push this fic on Spacebattles.
5010046
Relatively speaking, there isn't much sexual content left. But this is not the last of it. Of course, I can't spoil anything, but I'll say that the passage to which you refer is the most... unpleasant one I have. I was very specifically trying to be creepy and uncomfortable with it, where in other places, my focus will be the actual relationship between the characters.
I can only think of two other things that might be as off-putting as Rarity's scene, and they both happen late-story. One isn't written sexually, but it's still very taboo, and the other is a sex dream in the mind of a very twisted character (not yet fully introduced [no, it isn't Discord]).
But no, this will never be about the sex. I'm not in it to get people, or myself, off.
Awesome chapter!! The sexypony scene with Rarity was well done and I did feel sorry for her. True, she could have said, "no", but Lacey has manipulated her into thinking she was taking the best option. Keep the chapters coming Little Guy... Can't wait to see what you do with Octavia.
5042264
Thanks! It's all a matter of how strong-willed you think she can be. I think she could have been stronger, but, well, that's me. She was under a lot of stress when the decision was made. Next chapter coming soon-ish; I'm thinking in a couple days, at most.
Poor Octavia. That's all I have to say about her. Poor, poor Octavia.
He caught a glimpse; where's the rest of her?
Are there any comments on this fic?
I haven't seen one yet 0_o
5362155
Some, but they're few and far between. Not many folks have a lot to say about all this. Thanks for the favorite, by the way.
His plans are shaping up nicely.
A burden brought to rest on many. His betrayal belies his innocence.
DAMN!
Hello. I've finally gotten around to checking this out in its entirety, starting near a month ago. Having gotten much useful feedback from you on another site, I figured trying to return it. And I don't regret reading this.
Now this is impressive. From the beginning is a situation cataclysmic enough to warrant the scope and length of the story. The ensuing results, along with the various insights to the individual and group inter-workings, emotions and mentalities that follows (including beyond the main characters) shows the works of something well-thought and skillfully arranged.
I like how each location has it's own aura – the citizens within them have it, and coupled with the natural and artificial constructions around them give something teeming with it's own unspoken history, like a living figure (with the exception, perhaps, of Fillydelphia due to it's scarce description in comparisons). Manehatten stands out strongest in this aspect to me.
Each side character is a potential great story in themselves (I still finding myself in some fascination with the Manehatten arsonist and Fillydelphia mayor), and it interests me which of them will recur and their purpose. Of all the characters, the brooding stoic Octavia stands as the favorite and most singular to me. Spectacular job crafting her.
I would also single out 'Eyes in the Sky' as possibly the best written chapter thus far, in the way it was structured, how it was handled. I especially liked the dimension and lore it added.
Sparsely, some passages seem typed in drudgery to me, but the story generally resonates with enthusiasm, with minimal typos and with occasional moments of real metaphor/simile ingenuity.
If there's an overall impression it's that the whole thing is almost unrelentingly dark, and I don't say this as a bad thing. I believe it's almost always realistic – emotionally – and down to earth as to how such a vast problem (mixed with the many others) would be handled by these characters. Your world-building is phenomenal, and the pacing of the character and plot developments highly laudable. The web of interrelations across so many characters and all the potentials are a delight reading, and pique my interest for future chapters. Reading your blog, it almost boggles me that this was all laid out before it was posted.
I haven't read much other long adventure fics, so I can't make much comparisons there, but in relation to a lot of the site, this certainly deserves more commendation. Keep up the great job!
One of the first things I noticed when I was reading this fic was that it was situated in gritty version of equestria, not a darker one mind you just grittier. By that I mean is that is certainly wasn't aftaid to get is hooves dirty while diving into the thick of things.
The version of equestria contained with in is like looking out a window that hasn't been cleaned in 10 years, the usual shine of the world has dimmed a little and I won't lie I had to fight though the first 50000 words as it reminded me a little of "Background pony" you see the characters interacting and while few fics seem to go beyond that this one does, you can see the consequences of there actions even if you don't see them until much later when they spiral out of control in a flaming train wreck followed by damage control. The locations are give a detail and lore that few fics can match and I was on the edge of my seat while reading this (took me 2 whole days to read this)
Over all a 9.7/10 not perfect but worth the time to read if you enjoy seeing character dynamics at play.
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Hot damn, it means a lot to me, what you say! I won't lie, it's tough sometimes to keep cranking out chapters with zero feedback, so I really appreciate the time you took to read it and write all that out. I've been very careful during the planning and writing of this thing, and have nearly a full notebook of notes, maps of cities, a day-to-day calendar of events, and even a little concept art. The country's inner workings are something I pay a ton of attention to, so I'm glad that's coming across.
Octavia was almost my favorite to write, but Colgate beat her out in the end. You'll see why as things progress. 'Eyes in the Sky' was actually a real pain in my ass; switching into the mindset of an actual goddess is not an easy task for me. I agree with you, it's one of my favorites too, but golly, what a ride.
Thanks again for the comment, and favorite, and watch. It's particularly meaningful to me because of my history with you; you're a writer whose opinions I respect a good deal.
6581726
Thanks a bunch, for the comment, fave, and watch! I'm flattered as hell that I had you on the edge of your seat for that marathon of reading. Like I said to Lasthorizon, it's rough sometimes to go with no feedback, so things like this get me pretty pumped up.
The grittiness is something that has given me pause at various times. "Am I being too dark with this?" I'll ask myself. "Am I losing too much canon character for the sake of some tragedy?" Believe it or not, this was actually twice as edgy in the first draft, at least. In the end, I figure, if I treat the characters with the respect they deserve, and keep things as accurate and down-to-earth as I can, then a good deal of grit, or edge, or darkness, or whatever you want to call it will be forgiven. I'm glad you got around to enjoying it, though I wonder why you chose to fight through the first fifty-thousand words. Were I in your position, I'd probably throw in the towel by that point, if I'm honest.
6581935
Well as I said the hard patches in the story are really what sold me. I dislike reading the same story again and again and the big uh oh (I say this because I dont spoilers) that is kinda the heros fault is not something that is done much. Anyway I shared it with a few people. Though finding your story was hard. I only found it completely by surprise in a group that I have never heard of. You might want to see about adding it to more groups so it shows up in more feeds so you can be a more seen.
6581935
Also. I read a lot. I could have finished this in a day but I wanted to enjoy it.... But the first 50k works was more of a shock. Imagine you walk into candy store, you look around. There are sweet things and bright displays and everyone is hap- but wait? What is this? This empty corner is filled with bittersweet things. That is what the first 50000 words where like.
6582784
6582790
Ah, I gotcha. The beginning is very much intended to let the reader know, on no unclear terms, what I'm all about as a writer and what kind of situations the characters will be dealing with. One of my favorite scenes to write, actually, was that confused sequence of action and reaction at the end of chapter two. You can probably see that one thing I like to play with is the difference between actions and their moral implications, and it has definitely led to some interesting things, not all posted yet.
I've tried to find more groups, and maybe I'm just bad at it, but it seems like there aren't many that are appropriate for this story. That big fat "mature" tag complicates things on its own. If you have any suggestions for groups where this might fit, I'd be happy to hear them.
Only suffering awaits within the pillar.