• Published 23rd May 2014
  • 3,413 Views, 148 Comments

Hey, It's Me - TwilightUCrazy



A tale of two friends, a jacket and a car.

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Horizon Highway

It took several minutes for Rainbow Dash to extricate herself from the excitedly-chattering group. Furrowing her brow, she ducked behind the SUV and snarled to herself.

Gonnakill‘er. Gonnakill‘er. Gonnakill‘er.

She found Rarity tapping at her smartphone with a stylus. Rainbow stomped up to her from behind and cloaked her with her shadow. There she waited and seethed.

Rarity made it a point to ignore her.

Rainbow grew more frustrated by the minute and finally poked her firmly on the shoulder. The fashionista looked irritably at the affected area and poofed up the shoulder of her blouse again before turning to address her.

“Yes, darling? Do you need assistance loading your luggage?” she asked, irritably calm as she reached to adjust her collar.

Rainbow batted her hands away. “Don’t give me that crap. What the heck is this all about?” she growled.

“Why, Rainbow! Whatever do you mean?”

Rainbow gritted her teeth. “I mean— She paused and coughed, then lowered her register. “You know exactly what I mean. This whole trip was supposed to be between me and AJ. Me and her. None of you girls.” Rainbow stared at her with eyes that could cut steel. “How the heck did you force it out of her? Heck, how the heck did you even invite yourself along?!”

Rarity smiled sweetly. “But, darling! It was all your idea after all, wasn’t it?” She then proceeded to yank Rainbow down to her level, and aim an icy stare at her. “Behave yourself, dear. There’s no need to make a scene.”

“The heck there isn’t!” Rainbow snarled back. “I never made any plans to invite any of you along! Why the heck do you think I never mentioned it in the first place?!”

“Yes, an error in judgement on your part,” the fashionista droned at her.

Rainbow opened her mouth to reply.

“Rainbow Dash, this isn’t the place or time to have this discussion. Unless you intend to explain the situation to everyone now – Applejack included – I believe this is something we should save for when we have a free moment alone.”

“You don’t think that’s something we should have had before this little rectal probe of yours?”

“Rainbow, believe it or not, I’m not out to sabotage you. I’m here to save you from a big mistake.”

“Really? ‘Cause it looks like the other way around to me.”

Rarity opened her mouth and froze when approaching footsteps hissed in the grass close by.

“Hey, uhh… girls?” Twilight peeked her head around the side of the Escalade. “Everything okay?”

The fashionista turned and offered the mother of all rehearsed smiles to her. “Well of course, darling! Everything is divine!” Rarity turned to look at Rainbow. Her expression was stonelike, unwavering. “Isn’t that right, Rainbow?”

It was a conflict of emotions. Never had Rainbow so badly wanted to strap Rarity to the hood of her car and use her as a bug-catcher – and there had been many instances in which she had earned the athlete’s ire. None, however, were as glaring as this one.

Rainbow couldn’t have bit her teeth much harder without breaking them.

“Peachy,” she droned, faking a smile of her own.

Rarity grinned at Twilight, who quirked her brow at the two. “W-well, not to rush… umm… whatever this is, but uhh…” She lifted her smartphone and click the screen on. “It’s 7:44 right now, and we’re scheduled to leave at 7:45 if we want to be there by five this evening – that is if we take into account all current speed limits, road construction, meals, and bathroom breaks along the way.” She grinned awkwardly, eye twitching. “S-so we should probably start getting ready to go, r-right?”

Twilight and her schedules…

“Yeah, yeah. Cool it, egghead. We’re… goin’,” Rainbow said with a sigh.

“Darling, where are you going?” Rarity gestured to the massive SUV. “Wouldn’t you rather ride with us? It has to be more comfortable than that… uhh… thing that you drive, yes?”

Rainbow’s eyes locked on the fashionista like a missile. She turned and checked to make sure that Twilight had buckled herself inside the car and shut the passenger door first before leaning in close. “Rares, if I share a car with you for the next ten hours, I think this would turn into a snuff story.”

Rarity blinked. “Pardon?”

“Nothing… just… I’m driving separate, okay?” She sighed and sauntered off towards the Shelby. “I get sick when I’m a passenger anyway…”

“Ummm… very well then. I suppose we’ll see you at lunchtime then – and wherever else you decide to stop.”

“Don’t hold it for my sake…” she grumbled. She reached the car and leapt over the driver’s side door. She had just finished buckling in and turned the enraged engine over after a few tries when a golden voice rang in her ears.

“Rainbow!” a country-twanged voice shouted over the burble of the motor.

She looked up and saw Applejack as she trotted towards her across the lawn. Rainbow blinked and bit the far edge of her lip, then pretended to look away at something. Holditasec. Don’t tell me… no, I’d probably have a stroke. I’d literally have to kill you and hide your body, Rares…

She sucked in a breath and put on the most neutral expression she could handle. Her performance was nowhere near as admirable as Rarity’s. She braced, and prepared to be asked to be taken home – to have had her secret unpleasantly revealed like a flasher on the streets by a treacherous fashionista.

“Ain’tcha ridin’ with the rest of us?” she asked with a dejected frown.

Rainbow blinked. “Huh?”

“I just… Rarity’s Caddy has three rows. I’d bet ya money Twilight wouldn’t mind given up her seat in the front for ya.”

Rainbow’s brain scrambled. Waitasec… oh! Concern. For a friend. Riding alone. What the heck was I thinking?

She hid her grin well and shrugged. “I… dunno. Just… y’know, didn’t feel like riding in a car full of boy bands, estrogen and Rarity, I guess. Kinda gives me a rash.” Rainbow smirked inwardly and switched smoothly over to her sympathy card. “But you should totally ride with ‘em AJ. You shouldn’t need to be all down in the crapper with me.”

Applejack’s face twisted in worry. “Whaddya mean ‘down’, sugar?”

“Girls! 7:45! We need to go, or we’ll have to break the speed limit to be back on schedule!”

The farmgirl grimaced, and Rainbow mentally high-fived herself.

“Second thought… maybe I’ll tag along with you, darlin’.”

Killing-stroke time. “Are… you sure? I mean, I don’t mind driving by myself…” Applejack was as good as buckled in at this point.

The cowgirl smiled and turned to the Escalade, giving it a wave. “Go ‘head, girls! We’ll catch up with ya!”

Twilight blinked and shrugged, while Rarity gave Rainbow a scrutinizing look behind the wheel of the SUV. Then, shifting the truck into gear, she and their three friends waved, before bounding out of the driveway and onto the suburban street.

Applejack circled around, climbed in and buckled herself, then grinned sheepishly at Rainbow. “Can’t do the boy band thing either.”

Rainbow smirked and gripped the wheel.

I can’t do speed limits,” she said, revving the engine a few times.

Applejack laughed, but was cut short by a surprised scream as Rainbow threw the car into a tire-burning donut on the narrow roadway. She one-eightied and floored the accelerator and skated, rather than drove, the car down the road.

“We’ll have to drop by my place first anyway,” Rainbow said.

“What? How come?”

“I forgot something back there. I’ll be like a minute.”

Applejack stared at her.

Two minutes, tops!” she said with a grin.

“You didn’t forget somethin’ didja?”

“Wh- I… yah-huh! I totally did!”

“You were just rushin’ this mornin’ and just forgot to pack everything you needed, didn’tcha?”

“… Maybe?”

Applejack smiled and shook her head. A shriek escaped her throat as Rainbow welded the gas to the floor of the car and the pair bolted out onto the main road. She barely kept a hold of her hat the whole trip as Rainbow eased the old Mustang diagonally into a spot.

“Make it quick, wouldja?” Applejack asked, smoothing out her frazzled hair.

Rainbow saluted and bounded up the flight of stairs to her apartment.

I’m serious! Don’t take half an hour like you always do!” she heard her friend call behind her. Rainbow rolled her eyes and stepped into the apartment, leaping over piles of dirty clothes and game controllers and into her room. She very nearly tore her bedroom a new pocket dimension as she ripped sheets apart, drawers open, and closets apart looking for the one missing item in her bag.

A thought crossed Rainbow’s mind in that moment and she looked over by her bedside.

She rolled her eyes at herself. Of course. Keep everything you need in an easy place to find it… she thought, grabbing the bottle of sunscreen and tanning oil off her nightstand.

Something glinted in the morning sunlight that peered through the curtains. Rainbow blinked, not commonly in her room during the daylight hours, and pulled open the blinds.

A picture frame – the familiar photo it held grinned back at her.

Rainbow’s inner joy vanished in an instant, and was replaced by a feeling of melancholy. Her eyes traced the purple hair and bright, youthful smile clutched in the safe arms of her older sister… a face she barely recognized anymore. She remembered that day. Their last vacation together before…

She picked up the picture frame. A familiar beach and sand castle lined the background with gold and light, and a bright blue ribbon shimmered in the two’s conjoined hands. Rainbow couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at it.

A horn honked her back to the moment and she wiped a tear out of her eye.

“Right… yeah! Yeah! I’m coming!” she shouted, sliding the photo frame into her jacket pocket without so much as a thought. She was out the door and locked in seconds.

“What took ya?” the farmgirl asked with a scowl.

Rainbow flopped into her seat and flashed the bottles at her with a grin.

“You… tan?” Applejack asked, turning the bottle over in her hands. “I wondered when you’d put a little color in your cheeks.”

“My cheeks are always red from you riding my ass anyway, mom.”

Applejack snorted a laugh. “Shaddup and get us back on the road.”

Rainbow obeyed the farmgirl with a flick of the wheel and a liberal application of the throttle. A number of her neighbors glared from their mailboxes and windows as they flashed past on their way out with a ravenous bark of the engine.

The highway was largely deserted at this time in the morning at this time of year. Saturdays were always kind when it came to traffic, and it didn’t take long for Rainbow to find an open stretch of highway to put the pedal down and make up for lost time. Applejack clung on for dear life as the pair bolted around the far side of a minivan. Her screams were drowned out by the roar of the wind and mechanical monster up front.

Fifteen minutes later, a black speck appeared on the horizon, and Rainbow dug deeper into the engine’s power reserves. The familiar Cadillac flashed by on the right side and disappeared behind them with a brief honk of its horn.

Rainbow and Applejack laughed in unison and she buried the pedal further to put more distance between the Shelby and rapidly-fading Escalade.

At last – she couldn’t remember when – Rainbow reigned in the throttle, and relaxed to a more reasonable pace.

“You’re crazy.” Applejack giggled happily. “Fun, but crazy.”

“Tell me you don’t love it.”

“Well, sugar, that’d make me a liar. And Granny always told me never to tell a lie.”

Rainbow grinned smugly and reclined into her seat. She swept her hair back and loosed her ponytail to letting her multicolored strands flap in the wind. “Nice to finally hear you admit it.”

“Admit what?”

Rainbow flashed her a grin. “That you’re in love with me.”

Applejack flushed a faint pink and rolled her eyes. “Oh, Heaven help me if that were the case,” she snarked and playfully shoved Rainbow’s shoulder.

The car shuddered slightly, jerked a bit from the motion, and settled back down. Slowly, as the moments of silence between them ticked on by, an idea gradually occurred to the athlete. She blinked to herself and envisioned the thought of Applejack settled snug between her thighs, and bit her lip. She threw a curious eye to her right. Applejack’s hair flowed in the sunlit breeze like a lake of honey and she sighed happily in the warm late-spring wind.

Rainbow gripped the wheel, set the car straight, and clicked her tongue.

“Hey, AJ…”

Her friend looked over at her.

“You ever think about wanting to drive this old rustbucket?” she asked and pounded the shifter with the palm of her hand.

Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Rainbow, I ain’t even got my license yet.”

“And isn’t that sad?” she asked with a smirk. Applejack scowled at her. “C’mon, AJ. You telling me you’ve never once thought about what driving this thing would be like?”

“Always kinda pictured you in the driver’s seat. No real point.”

Rainbow grinned.

“C’mon. Take over for a little bit.”

Applejack’s eyes flared at her. “Are you mockin’ me?”

“Nooooooo, why would I ever do something like that?” Rainbow winked and steered with her index finger as she motioned to the wheel. “Come on, AJ! Just for an hour or two!”

“You need your bolts tightened or somethin’? I toldja, I ain’t got a license.”

“Has breaking the rules once in a while ever stopped you from having fun before?”

“Usually – unless you’re around.”

Rainbow laughed. “Come on. Do it. You know you want to.”

“I ain’t doin’ it, Rainbow.”

The athlete frowned and shrugged. “Up to you,” she said as she released the wheel. She leaned back into her seat, stretched and yawned. “Guess we’ll be swimming in a few seconds…”

“Rainbow this ain’t funny!” Applejack’s eyes widened, and the car began to yaw uncontrolled to the right towards the side of an upcoming bridge passing over a creek. The car passed over the solid white line and hit the rumble strip.

The farmgirl panicked and reached over, gripped the wheel from the passenger’s side, and yanked. The car jerked back towards the road and wobbled nervously.

Rainbow peeked an eye open and smirked. “Oh, good. Thanks for that.”

“What are you?! Loony or somethin’?! You coulda gotten us both killed!”

The athlete grinned. She playfully poked Applejack’s vulnerable side and extracted a ticklish squirm from her.

“You should know better than that…”

Applejack’s fury-reddened face gradually abated and she looked up with a flick of her green eyes. “How much longer were ya gonna wait?”

Rainbow bit her lip and blushed. “About half a second.” She giggled. “You scared me for a second, Applejack. I seriously thought you weren’t gonna take the wheel there.”

The cowgirl couldn’t help her chuckle and shook her head. “Well, your fun is over. Wouldja mind takin’ back the wheel now? This ain’t exactly comfy.”

“Mmmm… better idea!”

Rainbow reached over, unbuckled her friend and gripped Applejack beneath the arms. A ticklish jerk caused the entire car to lurch, and the athlete bit her lip when she felt something soft yet firm mold around her fingertips.

‘E-Ey! Watch what you’re pawin’ at!”

Rainbow grinned inwardly and blushed as she deposited her friend directly into the snug space between her thighs. She leaned against Applejack from behind and rested her jaw right next to her ear. “Cozy?” she asked.

“R-Rainbow, I’m serious. This ain’t funny no more.”

The athlete could hear the tension in her friend’s voice. Her entire body trembled in her arms, and Rainbow smiled, softly stroking her hand up and down her back. “Whoa. Easy, girl. What’s the big deal? You’ve driven cars before.”

“I drove my brother’s truck! On the farm! Goin’ nowhere near this fast!” the blonde squeaked. Her knuckles were white on the wheel she gripped so tight.

“AJ, listen to me – I’m not gonna let us crash,” Rainbow said, raising her hands to gently squeeze her friend’s shoulders. “Just think of it like I’m… like I’m giving you a little preview.”

“Ah, geez…”

“What’re you afraid of, anyway?” she asked, hugging her friend tightly from behind. “You’re doing great. Just keep it in the middle of the lane.”

Rainbow could feel Applejack’s nervous breathing, her arms trembling. She slid her hands up her friend’s arms and gripped the wheel gingerly. “Not so tight. It’s not gonna get away from ya,” she assured her.

Applejack’s breathing was accompanied by a cold sweat and she swallowed. Nonetheless, she managed to soften her grip. She reclined into Rainbow and forced herself to relax at least somewhat. At least her heart rate came down slightly.

“Now, foot on the accelerator.”

“Rainbow, please…”

“AJ, it’s okay,” she said gently, whispering into her ear over the howling wind around them. “Just like your brother’s truck, okay?”

Applejack took a breath and again followed her instruction. Her heeled boot bit into the pedal a bit too far and she was quick to pull back when the engine snarled at her.

Then, slowly, stealthily, Rainbow withdrew both her feet from the pedals, and Applejack was driving on her own.

“See? Nothin’ to it,” she told her friend. From the corner of her eye, she swore she could have seen Applejack smile. Unable to resist her mirth, Rainbow squeezed her friend again about the waist. “A couple lessons in shifting and you’ll be drifting this thing like me… well, almost like me, anyway.”

“I-I think I got a ways to go on that, sugar.”

“Maybe… but everybody’s gotta start somewhere, right?” Rainbow loosed a yawn, leaned back into the seat, and reached up to rub her eyes. “Well… got a straight shot for about seventy miles on this road before our exit. May as well catch some Z’s since you look like you got everything under control.”

“Huh?!”

She chuckled. “Relax. Just poke me if something comes up. Cool?”

Applejack swallowed nervously and bit her lip before she stared at the road ahead of her.

“Applejack… you’re doing awesome,” she whispered to her. Her friend blushed and smiled at her out of the corner of her eye.

“Rainbow… will you teach me more?” she asked.

She grinned. “Totally, AJ.”

She reclined into the cushion of the seat and faked another yawn, though her eyes never once closed on the trip. It wasn’t for a lack of tiredness or an abundance of sleep. But there was something else there… something watchful… protective perhaps. Her friend’s eyes, of course, never left the pavement out in front of her so she never realized it.

Rainbow was grateful for her continued consciousness as she felt Applejack lean back into her embrace.