• Member Since 28th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 29th, 2021

TwilightUCrazy


Romantic purist, lover of creativity, admirer of writers, and a second pair of eyes. Also a lunatic who randomly bites people to smell what their screams feel like. Happy reading!

T

A tale of two friends, a jacket and a car.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 148 )

Well, that was enjoyable to read.

A couple notes -

Her scent still faintly lingered on the fibers of the cloth; the same smell every time she let her hug her. The same smell that spiraled off that gorgeous mane and sexy body of hers.

That first sentence stands out, seeing as Applejack's pronoun is being capitalized in paragraphs both before and after this one. Also, I'm not entirely sure who is letting who hug them.
Second - was "mane" intentional? I know we use it sometimes, even when our ponies aren't quite ponies, but it struck me, personally, as odd in a humanized fic. No big deal though.

wouldn’t notice one of them were missing their textbook.

The correct form of that word in that situation would be "was."

P.S. - I think that's the first time I've actually been able to see the upvote/downvote bar move when I made my vote. Wow. It actually does it as you watch.

I can only imagine the type of adventure these girls are going to have.

I had fun reading this. There aren't many human AppleDash stories so this should definitely be a lot of fun (your stories are always enjoyable). I love your writing style, by the way. It's simple but detailed and leaves enough room for the reader to imagine what they like.

I'm gonna have a lot of fun reading this, for sure.

4432776
Heh, I would have considered that more of a compliment plus some proofreading, myself.

I'd take my best shot at giving it a review, but it may be a bit early yet. A few short thoughts on chapter one, then - It worked quite well, and was effectively lighthearted. I don't remember any point where the dialogue got awkward, myself. It's a delicate balance trying to work with their rivalry, teasing, and their being sweet on each other, but I personally think you've played it well so far. Personal note - I'm most definitely not an expert on that kind of relationship myself. I find that far too tiring. If I want someone as a romantic partner, I want them in my corner of the ring constantly, not someone you're constantly jockeying for position with. However, that's probably because I'm rather an introvert. So, I'm not speaking from experience here, but the relationship dynamic you've set up seems to be a good one. And very AppleDash, of course.

I'll try and find more to comment on next time!

Is there going to be moar?! I really enjoyed it, 10/10 really enjoyable. I will fav and watch if there will be more. Great story!

4437764

Somehow, I foresaw this being in one of the comments. :twilightsheepish:

4437864
It was either that, or dangerzone. :trixieshiftright:

Does this take place in the Equestria Girls universe?

Will this story be a long one?

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

You and your strange giant Dash.

aCB

~spoilers?~

Great writing as always, TUC. I love Rainbow's personality in this one, replacing her lower intelligence canon depiction with that of a socially skillful manipulator. The inner monologue in italics was a particularly nice touch. Maybe it's just the humanized Appledash, but I'm reminded of the Rainbow Dash from a lot of Ezrienel's work.

On the other hand, I feel like I'm missing a lot of background info coming into this chapter. For example, the lines about hitting a home run would have been better served if you had established Rainbow plays baseball, specifically. In addition, Applejack's getup in this chapter sounds like a catholic schoolgirl uniform. Are they in catholic school? You've said that AJ's worn denim shorts and skirts before, so that doesn't add up. What kind of clothes does Rainbow where? Briefly describing them would help develop her personality, if nothing else.

Damn, I just realized I'm fucking rambling. Sorry about that, I guess I'm more tired than I believed, and all the thoughts I had while reading this just kind of jumbled out. :twilightsheepish: It's still very good, and I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for updates.

4438208

Equestria Daily won't accept humanized fics. You'd have to talk to one of the editors on here somewhere, but I'm pretty sure this would just be turned away without a read.

4438447
Ah, this is the kind of review I wish I could write.


4438353
Heh, I felt weird about that for a moment, too. Then I realized that I only thought Applejack would be as tall as or taller than rainbow was because of humanized art I've seen. I had no idea I even had headcanons for humanized versions of characters. Go figure.
Though I don't let headcanons get in the way of my fic readings. I just go with it. :twilightsmile:

P.S. - this little driving adventure they're on - I could see it ending...poorly. :applejackconfused:

P.P.S. - "ladies and gentlepussy-sniffers"
Maybe other people don't feel the same way, but to ME, that was a pretty drastic change in tone for a second there.

1.) I'm not sure if they go to Catholic school, but I was a Catholic school girl and this is accurate.

2.) Rainbow is a manipulative bitch. I fucking love it.

Oh my gosh, this story is gonna be so much fun!

Oh, God. Here we go. :rainbowlaugh:

Geez, how much gas Rainbow Dash must be using...:rainbowdetermined2:

She clasped her hand over her mouth to try and mute it, but Rainbow had heard enough

- that sentence is missing a period.

She blinked and looked across the transmission tunnel to her friend,

This is just a question - what is a transmission tunnel and what does it have to do with two people who are sitting right next to each other?

4449597

You know how in modern family cars there's a "hump" in front of the middle back seat? That's the transmission tunnel. Rainbow and Applejack are seated right across from each other on either side of it.

Late review, I'm reading this story slowly but surely. As other's said Applejack being shorter did throw me off for a second, but not much. I also like Dash's manipulative side, but she doesn't seem to be acting like much of herself from the show. But I do really like this interpretation of her. Excellent!:scootangel::twilightsmile:

A couple of things I could use some help understanding in this one -
Why Rainbow Dash is sneaking around before school and why is she punished if class hasn't started yet?
Also, spooge? And why is that funny? Are you referring to...a less clean slang meaning of the term? Because the definition I work with is "Any sealant or lubricant applied during the assembly of electronic equipment." And I don't get why it's so funny.

4463605

Well, given this obviously isn't Rainbow Dash's first infraction, it's safe to assume she's earned her detention under other circumstances than right now, isn't it?

4463688
So, she earned her detention, but hadn't received the punishment decree for it yet?

Ah, this is just too cute. :rainbowkiss: a lovestruck Dash is just adorable.

I really don't know why you only have like 75 followers, your stuff is so much fun to read! :rainbowkiss:

Not too fast, Dash!
:rainbowhuh: No habla ingles?

4492247 ¿Por qué tendría que hablar en inglés?

Gah! Could you be any more of a tease? :derpytongue2:

Ugh, I freaking LOVE tiny AJ.

Furthermore, Rainbow was a regular weight-lifter, whereas Applejack’s strength came naturally from her tasks on the farm.

While she may have been at a disadvantage in other ways in this fic, I don't think this would have been one of them. My dad used to say that the farmers would have a natural advantage against the athletes, when it came to strength, endurance, and fitness (I grew up more in the city, and didn't go to school with many farmers).

I Really wonder what Applejack was feeling during that bed scene. Was she nervous because she thought she was being dominated (can't think for a better word for pre-rape or something) by Rainbow Dash? Idk why but it put me on edge a bit. :applejackconfused:

help plz!

:trollestia: has the eyes of a hawk!

You can try to hide it, but eventually Celestia will find out about it :trollestia:

4518422 Or it's painfully obvious to everyone except AJ... Again.

Favorite fucking chapter. I LOVE it when writer's give more depth to Rainbow. I just...ugh...I melt.

Oh no, not those three... :ajsleepy:

Since when is it nerdy to take pictures and text? I thought those were the preps that did it... At least, that's how it is here.

Fight! Fight! Fight! :rainbowwild:

4439640 And what about my other questions? Can you please answer them too?

Will Sunset Shimmer be appearing in this story?

4538412

There's a lot I haven't decided yet on this story. I'm mostly just winging it.

Ugh....I love this. So, so much.

I need a drawing of their outfits, they are such a beautiful couple.

Wow, you're good at writing Celestia!

They just pissed off Rainbow... Oh they are SO screwed.

The GT500 in the cover picture though.... You got me hooked.


FUCKING LOVE SHELBYS!!

4542382

Those did have convertible versions, right? I wasn't mistaken with that part, was I? :applejackconfused:

AAAANNNNDDDD..... The theme song for this chapter?

Highway to Hell by AC/DC.

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