Episode 1: Enter, Shining Pony
“Greetings and salutations, everypony,” a voice said as a spotlight flared on, revealing a well-dressed earth pony stallion sitting on a stool, wearing a tailored black suit over his cream colored coat. As he turned to face forward it was shown that his right eye was covered by an eye patch and he had a well-kept mustache of the same black color as his mane and tail.
“My name is of little importance, but for the time being you may call me MR,” MR said as a screen slowly descended next to him and turned on to show the wonderful landscape of Equestria, all vibrant and healthy. “Now, let me give you a little history of the world as it is today. For countless centuries, the land of Equestria has been peacefully ruled by the princesses Celestia and Luna. Yet, as it is with any type of long winded rule, there eventually came dissenters and those who opposed the princesses’ rule over the land.” The screen changed quickly now as MR spoke, showing scene after scene of ponies and other intelligent creatures protesting the current diarchy. “Each year, more and more of the inhabitants of Equestria began to join this movement. Eventually, enough support was garnered that these inhabitants set out to create their own country, free of the rule of the princesses. But that was not to be, for the land outside the princesses rule was a harsh and unforgiving place, filled with all sorts of dangerous creatures and the like. As soon as the new country was formed, it fell apart and those who left Equestria seeking change wound up returning. This did not end the fight for independence though. Brilliant minds began to work on a new project. They brought in earth ponies and tested the materials that they could find on Equestrian soil, they brought in pegasi for their knowledge of weather manipulation, and they brought in unicorns to work through the process of making things run the way they wanted; and soon enough, the first habitable colony was launched into orbit about the planet.”
“This colony was named Neo Manehatten, after the city where the technology was developed and where most of the inhabitants came from. Soon following came the launching of more space colonies as more and more of the large cities of Equestria saw the benefits of living outside of the rule of the princesses and came to develop the same technology.” As MR spoke, the screen flashed through the history of the colonies: The various leaders of the colonies meeting, signing peace treaties, and enjoying a time of rule, free from the princesses. “And for a time, there was peace again in the realm of Equestria; then came the launching of the colony that brought the capital city of Equestria, Canterlot, into space. This threw off the delicate balance the colonies had managed to create, as they saw this as a declaration that the princesses were trying to assert themselves as the rulers of not only the Equestrian ground, but also the Equestrian space.”
“What followed this were a few years of strained acceptance and tolerance. But as the years passed, the tension grew until one day it finally came to a head. A terrible war broke out between the colonies. At first, the leaders were content with sending troops down to the ground and facing off against the forces of Canterlot, hoof to hoof. But technology continued forward in the face of war, and soon came the development of mobile suits of armor. With these new suits, one pony could fight with the strength of an entire legion. And soon enough, this technology also spread about the colonies, with each colony making their own distinct style. Soon allies turned on allies and the fight for supremacy turned into a free for all for rulership. The war raged on through the years with no colony gaining a distinctive edge over the other. Soon it became evident that this war was costing everyone involved too much in the ways of resources and ponies to fight. At a historic summit, the heads of the colonies met with the princesses and came to terms on how to determine the leadership of Equestria. After days of non-stop deliberation, it was decided upon that the rulership of Equestria, and thus the power to enact laws and rules that affected both Equestria and the colonies, would go to the city who won an annual tournament held every four years. A tournament fought with the very machines that they had created to fight the war, now dubbed as mobile pony suits. And thus, peace was once again achieved.”
“It has been sixty years since the summit. This year marks the beginning of the fifteenth tournament for the rulership. Today’s battle pits off Neo-Hoofington's Show Pony against Neo-Ponyville's Shining Pony.”
“Hey mister,” a pink earth pony mare with a poofy mane and three balloons as a cutie mark said, appearing out of the darkness. She pulled a picture out of a saddle bag and handed it to MR. “Have you seen either of these two ponies?” The picture showed three ponies. One was the pink one standing there but with her hair straightened out, the other two were colored purple and gray with similar hairstyles, most likely her sisters.
“Sorry miss, can’t say I have,” MR said passing the picture back to her.
“Oh, sorry to bother you then,” the pink pony said and vanished back into the darkness.
“Now, what this picture has to do with today’s battle, we’ll have to wait and see.” MR jumped off his stool and in one swift motion, pulled off both his suit and eye patch, revealing a bright pink shirt and bow tie and a perfectly normal working right eye. “Now, pony fight all set. Ready, go!”
Mobile Fighter G-Pony Episode 1
Enter, Shining Pony!
The night sky of Equestria was awash with stars as the moon gave a gentle glow to the land. If one looked hard enough into the night sky, it was possible to catch a glimpse of the soft, pulsing light that marked the passage of one of the many space colonies floating about up there. It was a night like any other night in Equestria. Then the meteor shower began. Those creatures that were awake at this time gazed in wonder at the majesty of the event as meteors sped all across the sky. But for many, this simple meteor shower was not just another natural event of the world. No, it was the start of something larger. Across the land, ponies, buffalo, griffons, even diamond dogs saw this as a sign and began preparations.
In the town of Hoofington, a blue unicorn mare with a moon and wand cutie mark and a flowing white mane and tail looked up at the sky as the meteors sped by and began to laugh. “It is time,” she said, turning from the window. “Time, for the Great and Powerful Trixie, to show the pathetic masses that she is the best of them all. They will rue the day that they ridiculed her, that they mocked her, that they had the gall to insist that she was nothing but a show boater and a bag of hot air.” Trixie’s horn flared white as she sent magic through it and picked up a telephone receiver. “Bob, Doof, Trixie requires your presence. Do hurry this time or she will be forced to find better henchmen.” As Trixie hung the phone back in its cradle, two stallions, one red and one orange, each with cutie mark of a wooden club, came crashing through the door to the room.
“Move it, Doof,” the red one said as he fought with the orange one to get into the room.
“No,” the orange one, Doof, replied. “You move it, Bob!”
“Will the two of you shut up!” Trixie shouted at the pair of stallions as she grabbed them with her magic and dragged them into the room. “Trixie did not call you two here to hear you bicker again. And if you don’t stop, Trixie will uphold her threat to find better henchmen after she gets rid of you two to make an example to the rest of the gang.” This shut up the two stallions real fast. “Now, the reason Trixie called for the two of you is that the signal has been cast.” The two stallions looked at Trixie, then to each other and each gave a shrug in confusion. “The signal that we have been waiting for for the last four years since we were banned from the tournament last time where Trixie was the pilot for Neo-Hoofington.” Trixie said as she became increasingly agitated. The two stallions once again gave a shrug of confusion. “The signal for the start of the tournament to decide the rulership of Equestria and the colonies!” Trixie shouted as she slapped the two of them about the head with her hoof.
“Oh, that signal,” Bob said as he recovered from the slap. “But what does it have to do with us?”
“You, along with Doof here, are going to rally the gang. Tonight we strike at the Hoofington colony embassy. We’re going to steal Hoofington’s mobile pony suit. We’re going to enter the tournament. And we’re going to win and show all the miscreants that the Great and Powerful Trixie is indeed great and powerful before we take over everything!” Trixie said as she released Bob and Doof from her magical hold. “Now get going. We need to strike tonight, before the actual pilot shows up.” With that, Bob and Doof scurried as fast as they could to their hooves and ran off to begin preparations. Once they were gone, Trixie returned to her window and gazed back out at the meteor shower. “Soon, Trixie will have her revenge against those who thought to stand in her way. Soon.”
“Pinkie, you sure this is the right way to Hoofington?” a purple unicorn mare with a mane of purple and pink and a cutie mark that consisted of a six-pointed star surrounded by five smaller stars said. “If I remember the map correctly, and I'm pretty sure I do, then we should have been there a few days ago.”
“Oh Twilight, you worry too much,” Pinkie Pie, a pink earth pony mare with a poofy mane and three balloons as a cutie mark, said, admonishing her partner. “If anything, at least we're getting quality time to try out this core lander that the technicians back at the Ponyville colony built.”
“Pinkie, this is not a toy,” Twilight said sharply back at Pinkie. “This is state of the art magic technology for the tournament. Now stop this thing at once. I'm taking over driving.”
“Oh Twilight, you're no fun at all,” Pinkie said, then followed Twilight's instructions and pulled over to the side of the road and jumped out. “Well, we may not know where we are at the moment, but at least the view isn't bad.” In the clear blue sky, the sun shone down on the landscape, showering the mass of rolling green hills with light. It was a beautiful sight that brought a big smile to Pinkie's face. “Oh I wish we could just hang around here for awhile, maybe build a nice summer home. I'm sure that this place is beautiful even during the winter. I mean, I can just imagine these hills covered in snow, and all the little fillies and colts out with their snow gear, sledding around and being all happy and—”
“Pinkie, get in the core lander,” Twilight said, cutting off Pinkie's sentence with a look that meant she would stand no back talk. “We were expected in Hoofington three days ago. We were to meet with the embassy there and set up a time and place for your first match in the tournament's preliminary round.”
“But,” Pinkie began, turning back to the green hills.
“No buts.”
“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie sighed as she climbed into the passenger seat of the core lander. Twilight gave the map of the area a quick glance, and after a moment of thought, turned the core lander around and began driving off in the direction which they had just came from.
A few hours later they found a sign pointing them in the correct direction. “Hoofington: 12 miles” it said with an arrow pointing east. After driving for some time, as the two got closer to the city, they began to see signs that something had happened to the city recently, something bad. Smoke was rising from the city proper and it looked like several of the buildings on the outskirts of the city had been damaged by something. But most disturbing was the numerous robotic parts strewn about. Twilight stopped the core lander and jumped out.
“What happened here?” she said in dismay at the sight of the carnage. “When did this happen? We were in contact with the embassy just the other day, I mean, this doesn't add up at all.” Pinkie jumped out of the core lander and gazed around at the destruction. She spotted movement in a nearby building that looked better off than the ones closer to the city and trotted over to it. The sign over the entrance stated the shop's name as the “Crimson Pie” pie shop and bakery. Pinkie poked her head inside the door.
“Hello? Anypony home?” she asked, not really expecting a response. She hoped that the ponies who lived here had managed to get away before whatever happened had happened.
“Hello?” She asked again, and this time she heard the soft shutting of a door, and someone crying softly on the upper floor followed by someone shushing. Pinkie made her way to the stairs of the building and proceeded to the second floor. “Hello? I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help.”
“Go away!” a voice shouted from behind a door. “Leave us alone!”
“Nutmeg, what if whoever that is really wants to help?” another voice said, this one sounding older than the first.
“Where's mama and papa, Vergie” a third voice said softly with a small cry. “I want mama and papa.”
“Hickory, don't worry,” the second voice, Vergie, said, trying to calm Hickory, who sounded a lot younger then the other two. “They're fine.”
“Will you three come out?” Pinkie said to the door. “Let's get you out of this building. I have some food out in the core lander.”
“What's a core lander and why should we trust you!” the first voice, Nutmeg, said.
“Nutmeg, don't be like that,” Vergie said.
“Vergil, what if whoever's out there is part of the group that did this!”
“If they were they would have broken down the door by now,” Vergil said. There was a soft click as the door swung open, revealing three young ponies, two fillies and a colt. “Are you really here to help us?” the colt, Vergil asked.
“Yes, I am,” Pinkie replied giving them a warming smile. “Now come on outside. We need to know what happened here.”
“We?” one of the fillies, Nutmeg, said as she coerced her sister, Hickory, out of the protection of the room.
“You'll see,” Pinkie replied and started towards the entrance of the building.
“And that's all we know,” Vergil said to Twilight. The three ponies were from a family of bakers who were widely known for their pies. Their parents had been called to the embassy for a delivery before everything happened. According to the three, fires began sprouting up all over the city. Sirens went off and ponies were rushing about, trying to combat the blazes that were engulfing their city. And somewhere in the mess of all this, the embassy exploded, as a mobile pony suit broke out of the building and began running through the town, causing structural damage to the buildings. That was three days ago and the foals had been hiding in their house ever since. Twilight had a bad feeling about this.
“Pinkie, we should be careful from here on out,” Twilight said. “I'm not entirely sure on this, but I may have an idea of who did this. And if I'm right, she is a very angry pony. Angry at the colonies and especially angry at me.”
“What happened?” Pinkie asked as she handed out food and drinks to the children.
“I don't want to talk about it right now.”
“Okie dokie then. So what's the next course of action Twilight?”
“Well, I would say it would be to investigate the embassy. We need to confirm what happened over there. And we need to find these kids’ parents.”
“You hear that kids, we're going to look for your parents,” Pinkie said reassuringly to the three ponies munching away at their food.
“Pinkie, can you watch over them here. I don't think it's safe for them to go further into the city until we get to the bottom of this and deal with whoever is responsible.”
“Got it Twilight,” Pinkie replied. “I'll make sure nothing bad happens to these three until you come back.”
“I'll make sure to hurry as much as I can. I'll contact you when I get there and when I'm leaving,” Twilight said as she pulled herself into the core lander. “Keep safe Pinkie.”
“You too,” Pinkie replied as Twilight sped off towards the remains of the Hoofington embassy.
“Pinkie, this is Twilight,” Twilight said into her communicator. “I have reached the embassy. It doesn't look all that bad close up. A lot of outer damage caused by the pony suit breaking down a few walls most likely, but it looks like the structural support was not compromised at all. How are things holding up on your end?”
“Just fine Twilight,” Pinkie replied from the communicator. “The three here are asleep. It seems that they hadn't slept since the attack because they were to scared of what might happen. But so far all's been quiet. A bit too quiet if you ask me. And my right hip’s acting all weird. I know it has something to do with my Pinkie sense, but I've never felt this one before. Hurry as fast as you can Twilight. Pinkie Out.”
The communicator cut off and Twilight resumed her search of the rubble. It looked like a group of ponies had used the fires in the city as a distraction to mount a theft of the pony suit. Now Twilight was certain of who had caused all this. “Oh, when I get my hooves on her,” she began before she heard a cry for help from behind a door that had a large section of rubble blocking it. “Hold on, I'll get that out of the way.” Twilight's horn glowed purple as her magic went to work. The rock lifted off the ground as easily as a pebble and was tossed away. “The door's clear. You can come out now.” The door opened to reveal a dozen shaken ponies, most of which were wearing suits that marked them as part of the embassy, but two, a mare and a stallion, were dressed in aprons. As they exited into the open, Twilight addressed the two in aprons. “I take it you two own the Crimson Pie right?”
“What?” The stallion said. “I mean yes. Me and my wife here own that place. Name's Salt.”
“And I'm Pepper,” the mare said, then added more urgently, “Has something happened to it? What about the kids? Are they alright?”
“Don't worry,” Twilight said, assuring the two. “Your children are just fine. My partner is with them at the moment and she won't let anything happen to them.”
“Oh thank goodness,” Pepper sighed with relief.
“Now if you'll excuse me, I must speak with the ambassadors.” Twilight left the two bakers and approached the group of suited ponies. “Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm a representative for the Neo-Ponyville colony for the tournament. Can you tell me what happened here? I have pieced together a theory of what happened, but I need to confirm some things.”
“Ah, Miss Sparkle,” an ambassador said. “I do believe we talked a few days ago. I'm Giornio, head of the embassy. As to what happened; it was the deplorable Trixie that caused this. She and her gang set the fires in the city to draw the guards and the other task forces that would have been guarding the embassy, then struck fast and hard, driving us into hiding before stealing the Show Pony suit.”
“I thought so,” Twilight said with a sigh. “Trixie, when will you let your grudges fade away?”
“You need to get the suit back. We fitted the Show Pony with a new experimental magic reactor hooked up to the weapons system. That thing has way too much firepower to be in the hands of a lunatic. It’s amazing that she hasn't leveled the city so far.”
"I understand Ambassador Giornio. Now, you should see to the others that were here when the attack happened. I need to get back to my partner asap.” Twilight left the group of ponies standing in the ruined embassy and jumped into the core lander. “Pinkie, do you read me. I was right. It was Trixie all along. Be on guard.”
“Oh, Twilight Sparkle,” a voice that was not Pinkie's spoke out of the communicator. It had a mocking tone to it that grated on the nerves.
“Trixie! What have you done to Pinkie and the kids!”
“That is the Great and Powerful Trixie to you. Oh, and don't worry about them. They're fine for now. That is, as long as you do exactly what Trixie says.”
“What do you want, Great and Powerful Trixie?” Twilight said with a mocking tone.
“All Trixie wants is for you to come to the eastern edge of the town. There you will find a large building. You are to enter this building and wait for Trixie. Nothing more.” The communicator cut off to the cackling laugh of Trixie. Twilight glanced around at the destruction caused to Hoofington. Trixie was going to pay for this, Twilight was going to make sure of it. Twilight kicked the core lander into gear and sped off in the direction Trixie wanted her to go in.
“Okay Trixie!” Twilight shouted as she entered the building. “I'm here, now what.”
“Oh that is easy Twilight Sparkle,” Trixie's voice flowed out of the darkness from all sides. “I just need you to watch what I am going to do to your friend and these three kids!” Lights flared on in the building, revealing Pinkie, Vergil, Nutmeg, and Hickory tied up and hanging from the ceiling in front of Trixie and the stolen Show Pony suit, its streamlined body design and countless missile pods along each limb and back now decked up with a large purple cloak and pointy hat and painted a gaudy blue color to match Trixie's coat. “You are going to watch as Trixie makes you feel like you made her feel all those years ago when you destroyed her life; helpless, pathetic, worthless!”
“I destroyed nothing Trixie!” Twilight shouted up to the crazed mare. “You brought it on yourself. During the last tournament you broke every rule during the last tournament and thought you could get away with it.”
“Trixie did nothing wrong!” Trixie shouted, stamping her hoof on the head of the stolen pony suit. “And you lead the investigation into Trixie. You brought her down!”
“You poor deluded fool,” Twilight said, shaking her head before turning her attention to Pinkie, swinging around from the rope she was tied to. “Hey Pinkie, how much longer are you going to hang around there? We need to put Trixie in her place and make sure that she doesn't do this sort of thing again.”
“Stop ignoring Trixie!” Trixie shouted. “Bob, Doof, deal with her!” Trixie's henchmen jumped out of the shadows and charged Twilight. Twilight's horn began to glow red and as the two henchmen were about to pounce on her, she vanished in a poof of magic and reappeared a few feet away, causing the two to crash into each other. “STOP IT OR TRIXIE WILL CRUSH YOUR FRIEND!” Trixie shouted in rage, then looked up to her captives. “WHERE ARE THEY!”
"Twilight!"" Pinkie shouted from the entrance to the building. She had managed to get herself and the three children free from the ropes that had been holding them. "Over here!"
“Good work Pinkie," Twilight said as she collected the three shaken kids and teleported away, leaving Pinkie standing off against Trixie and the Show Pony.
“NO!” Trixie cried out as she slipped into the cockpit of the Show Pony and activated the suit's control system. The suit instantly reared up, tearing through the roof of the building. “TRIXIE WON'T LET YOU ESCAPE!”
“You don't have a say in that Trixie,” Pinkie said as she jumped into the core lander. “RISE SHINING PONY!” She cried out as a bright light shown from outside the city. As the light faded, a pony suit came into view that was colored white, blue, and pink, with flared shoulders and a large mechanical representation of Pinkie's mane. Pinkie hit a few switches in the core lander and it zoomed off towards the suit.
“NO!” Trixie shouted again in rage as she tore through the wreckage of the building in pursuit of the fleeing Pinkie Pie. But she was too late. The core lander used a fallen building as a ramp and shot itself into the air over the Shining Pony. It turned and came down onto the back of the pony suit, activating it. “Trixie, for the atrocities you have committed, not just today, not just recently, but also during the last tournament,” Pinkie Pie said as the Shining Pony began the activation of its mobile trace system, a system that allowed a pony to pilot the suit as if it were herself. “You will be judged by the hoof of Pinkie Pie and it says that you are not fit to be a pilot of that suit you wear!” With that exclamation, the Shining Pony shot forward to meet the oncoming charge of the Show Pony.
The Shining Pony lowered its head and drove into the chest of the Show Pony, driving it of its feet and onto its back knocking its hat off as well. Trixie gave a loud cry as she retaliated from the prone position. Compartments opened along the limbs of the suit and rockets flew out towards the Shining Pony. With Pinkie's piloting, the Shining Pony was able to dodge most of the rockets, but the Show Pony kept firing. In the face of such an onslaught, a rocket caught the right hind leg of the Shining Pony, causing it to stumble. The Show Pony used this time to make it back to its feet and continued its rocket barrage on the downed Shining Pony.
“YOU‽ PASS JUDGEMENT ON TRIXIE‽” Trixie shouted as she continued to launch rockets. “DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!”
“Laugh at this then! Fire the Pinkie Cannon!” Pinkie shouted as a panel opened on the side of the Shining Pony, revealing a cannon that then fired a large cannon ball towards the Show Pony. Trixie managed to dodge the attack, but in doing so had to stop her rocket barrage. The Shining Pony jumped to its hooves and pressed an attack on the Show Pony. Two machine guns began to fire from the head of the Shining Pony, driving the Show Pony to seek cover behind a half demolished building. As the Show Pony found cover, the Shining Pony ceased its attack, “You can't win Trixie,” Pinkie said calmly to the hiding Trixie. “You can't even pilot that suit fully since you stole it from the rightful pilot. Now come out, you can't hide forever.”
“SHUT UP!” Trixie shouted as she burst from cover to the side of the Shining Pony. “TRIXIE CAN NOT LOSE!” The shoulders on the Show Pony opened up to reveal an electromagnetic net generator. Caught by surprise, Pinkie was not able to escape as the net came down over the Shining Pony, rendering it immobile.
“Dang it,” Pinkie said as she tried to get the Shining Pony to respond.
“THEY MOCKED TRIXIE! THEY BERATED TRIXIE! NOW SEE WHAT HAS COME TO THEM!” Trixie shouted as she came closer to the captured Pinkie Pie. “NOW SEE WHAT TRIXIE IS CAPABLE OFF!” The cloak of the Show Pony was in tatters as compartments opened all along the back of the suit, tearing through the fabric revealing many more missile pods. “TAKE THIS! ULTIMATE ATTACK! SHIMMERING LIGHTS!” The missiles launched themselves at the captured Shining Pony as its front hooves began to glow. As the glow grew, the electromagnetic netting failed, allowing the Shining Pony to escape the attack of the Show Pony.
“Trixie!” Pinkie shouted as the Shining Pony stood, silhouetted by the explosions of the Show Pony's ultimate attack. The Shining Pony slowly raised one hoof off the ground and pointed it towards the Show Pony. “This hoof of mine shines with boundless laughter. Its loud cry tells me to grasp victory!” The hoof pointing towards the Show Pony began to glow a bright white, the same glow that had destroyed the electromagnetic netting. “Take this, SHINING HOOF!” An instant later, the Shining Pony launched itself at the Show Pony. Trixie began to turn in an attempt to dodge, but she slipped on pieces of debris her own attacks had caused. The Shining Pony barreled into the side of the Show Pony, pinning it to the ground with the glowing hoof placed right on its head.
“Trixie, you were once the pilot for Neo-Hoofington but your arrogance caused you to lose that title. So you took it under yourself to reclaim your position by stealing that suit,” Pinkie said as the head of the Show Pony began to crack under the glowing attack. “Trixie! Before I end this I need to ask you a question.” Pinkie brought up an access feed to the Show Pony's cockpit. She held up a picture showing three young fillies, one was Pinkie but with her hair straightened out, the other two were colored purple and gray with like hairstyles, her sisters, Inkie and Blinkie. “Have you seen either of these two?”
“No!” Trixie shouted. “Trixie has not seen them!”
“Then this is the end of your tournament Trixie,” Pinkie said and crushed the head of the Show Pony, bringing the fight to a close.
“The ambassador wasn't very happy was he?” Pinkie asked as Twilight drove the core lander off towards the next city.
“No, he wasn't Pinkie,” Twilight responded. “But it could not be helped. The only way to secure the Show Pony was to disqualify it from the fight. And as much as the ambassador may not like it, it was the only way. But look on the bright side Pinkie. Not only did you help with the capture of a dangerous criminal, but you helped to reunite a family torn apart by the attack.”
“You're right Twilight,” Pinkie said as she pulled her picture out of her bag. “I only wish I could have found a lead to where my sisters are.”
“Don't worry Pinkie, we'll find them. We need to find them for the sake of Equestria itself.”
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Okay, fantastic idea. The setup was perfect.
However, I'm really not sure how Pinkie's going to be able to carry off Domon. Pinkie being serious always feels heavier than the other characters because of her Element, which makes it feel out of place, and I just don't think she has the gravitas necessary to lead a super-robot story, especially if you're planning to follow the story reasonably closely.
Once the initial pre-amble was over and the actual action started moving, it just didn't feel... like G-Gundam. Obviously with any crossover, compromises have to made, but the first episode of G grips you right from the get-go with its sheer "Did that JUST HAPPEN"ness, and I really didn't feel that from this. It just felt like ponies that happened to be in robots.
I may be being over-critical, as I am a HUGE fan of super-robot shows in general (you can probably tell). I'ma track anyway, because I think you've done a great job on the actual setting (Stalker Pony = YES) so far, and I want to see where you take it. I'm reserving my upvote until I've seen more. I just think you need to take a closer look at which character fits which role and the general tone of the piece. There are style considerations too but my grammar editing is bunk, so I don't really have much to say there. This has the potential to totally super cool, and I await the next chapter with BATED BREATH.
350900
Thanks for the imput. This is my first real shot at a fanfic so I'm, how do you say, running cold at the start. I have my ideas going for the characterizations, and I'm rewatching G-Gundam as well to work on it all. As for how well characters portray their counterparts, I'm taking the G-Gundam characters more as archetypes when I translate them, so there will be differences. So, here's to me making it work somehow and fininishing this story.
350951 If it's any consolation, I'm talking way above my station, I've only got one fic out myself. I just heart Future Century so I'm all over this fic x)
Rewatching G Gundam sounds like a great idea ¬_¬ *scurries to the hard drive*
350999
Don't worry about it. Any input is good input whether it is good or bad.
And yes, go rewatch it. Rewatch it now!
350900
The only way I see this working is if Pinkie were based on Luffy from One Piece: funny as hell, but becomes serious when the time is right.
Also, this is the first Gundam crossover I've seen of MLP:FiM.
I was expecting Gundam Wing or Gundam 00, but G-Gundam ain't too bad a start.
My only recommendation is that you base Pinkie Pie's personality on Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece, if you're going to have her take Domon's place as main central character. Because with Luffy, you get silliness combined with seriousness when the timeing is right for it. For instance, Pinkie Pie can be Pinkie Pie during most of the time, but during battle, she grows into this serious bad-ass person we all know is Domon-like.
So try out that approach.
Also, for Neo-Manehatten, if it's anything like Neo-America, either Applejck or Rainbow Dash should take Chibodee's place. Maybe Applejack is the best choice, since you might be doing a Neo-Cloudsdale for this story. If Applejack take's Chibodee's spot, then RD should take Sai Saici's place.
And Rarity would make a good replacement for George de Sand of Neo-France. And Fluttershy taking Argo's place, like switching Golith with a David.
Also, I personally though Twilight should take Domon's place, but since she's representing Neo-Ponyville as Rain did, I guess it doesn't matter which way.
Also, Trixie should return as a member of Devil Gundam-Pony's evil cult, with DG cells.
And who's going to take Allenby's spot? =3
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There is a Unicorn Gundam crossover floating around somewhere. The lack of Gundam/Pony stories was one of the reasons for this.
As for everything else, I hope I'll be able to do both series justice with this.
i like g-gundam i agree with the other dude the role should probley be switched a bit like i think twilight makes a good rain but i think rainbow should be domon i think meaby you should re write the story a bit i know i dont have a story out yet but 1. i am still trying too figure out how too post stories and 2. i am trying on working out a 00 gundam and MLP cross over but i am trying too find which characters fit or if i gotta re write some back stories here but still i am trying too make them fit some way or another.
again meaby just replace pinkie with rainbow she would fit much better in my opinion twi can still be rain cuz their both scientist and geniuses and if your useing pinkie cuz she has sibleing why not make a OC pony for rainbow like Black fire or Shadow bullet those are name suggestions but yeah this is a few helpers and note i wont have my story turn out like this comment it will be neater and better written xD
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Just following my advice if you're pairing up who should be playing as who. And if you stick with Pinkie pie being Domon, follow Luffy's personality for her then.
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It's his story. It should go the way he feels it should. All we can do is just give him advice and pointers. =3
Anyways, I haven't seen any Unicorn Gundam crossover yet, but if there is one, I haven't seen it.
I would love to see a Gundam 00 crossover, because Pnkie Pie can be Allelujah Haptism because of her Pinkamena personality, and Twilight can be Tieria Erde for her book-smarts and nerdy look. Rainbow Dash might be Setsuna F. Seiei, and Applejack can be Lockon Stratos (either one). Just giving you some ideas and pointers to follow, if you choose. =3
IDEA: Pinkie Pie + Gundam Aerios or Kyrios = INSANITY. X3
ALSO: Rarity and Fluttershy can be part of the Ptolemaios bridge crew. Maybe in the place of Christina Sierra & Feldt Grace? =3
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Maybe it is not Unicorn Gundam, but it is another gundam fic:
Link
352240 Thats a cool idea i was thinking twi would be tieria and i was planning on making pinkie Allelujah cuz i noticed the pinkie/pinkmena thing as well i am also re watching Gundam 00 just so i can figure out how i am gonna do the story, like do i want it too resemble 00 more or MLP more idk
Damn i love this great job
I got a really good chuckle out of reading this. I always enjoyed the goofiness of G-Gundam and this really helped emphasize it with ponies and thus made it a really enjoyable read. My ONLY problem is that the mobile-suits didn't really get any sort of descriptions towards them. The only thing I could do was try and picture the suits from the show, but as ponies. I think your story would greatly benefit from being able to describe what the suits look like, or at least maybe find somepony who could illustrate that for you.
Otherwise keep up the good work! I'm kind of eager to see future chapters X3
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Thanks, I try to please.
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That was the one place that I had trouble with, so I left it out for the time being. Once I'm able to figure out how I want them to actually look, I'll see if I can find someone who can actually draw gundams and ponies.
This fandom heeds more gundam
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Make it both. Have some parts like G-00, and others like MLP.
Strange, I always pictured Pinkie Pie with the Jester Gundam. Will Flim & Flam be in this? I always wanted to see a steampunk or carnival gundam! Another one I would love to see is Derpy & her Mobile Suit Derp Gundam (armed with Muffin Missiles & and bubble wand; with exploding bubbles! LOL!)
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Film and Flam are scheduled for the next episode. Almost done with it.
363287 Cool! I think I'll track!
One thing I noticed is you forgot to mention what the Gundams look like.
That's half the reason G Gundam was popular, the outragous mecha designs (Thet had a Gundam that turned into a windmill and another that wore a poncho for crying out load).
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But I did describe them, they're there when the suits show up. Though I didn't really go into extreme detail, leaving a lot to the imagination of the readers.
COOL I GIVE THIS 10 OUT OF 10
I'm afraid to me this felt like it relied too much on the reader being familiar with the setting.
I would have liked some descriptions of the world, the technology, the setting, rather than just an infodump at the start. What is a core lander, what is it's purpose? Now does Hoofington look different from the normal version? What makes Hoofington or Neo-Hoofington unique. Why is there both a Hoofington and a Neo-Hoofington? What do thew ships look like, or the space ports, or the colonies?
I just didn't feel it. Not that it's a bad idea, but it just didn't grab me. One way you could have done was actually show the events of Trixie stealing the robot. Instead we get a short build up and then the aftermath, which feels like you didn't have the special effects budget to cover the actual attack..