Everything happened on that painful day...or the second one... I was sitting in my room. Alone, in silence. I've lived in a town named Ice Empire. The town was in the land called Frozen Temple. I slowly lifted my red eyes when I heard someone calling me. It was my sister, Anna. I started to cry even more.
Every year, she comes to my door, asking me to come out and play with her, but I never went out of that room. I was scared, scared to hurt her.
"I did once, and never again." I whispered to myself. I looked around my room. It was full of ice. Everything I touched with my hoof. If I would touch anything with hooves, it would freeze. I hoped my sister would go, but she stayed.
"Please..." She whispered in a sad tone. I shook my head in silence.
After a few minutes everything went silent, she left. I slowly walked to the window. There was bunch of children playing and laughing in the snow... I sighed.
"I miss that good times..." I said to myself.
Suddenly, the door opened. I turned around and saw my parents walking to me.
"Hello Elsa." My dad said. He had his serious face. I knew something was wrong...
"What happened?" I asked worried. The floor under me started to freeze. My mum gave me warm smile.
"Oh, it's nothing honey, don't worry. We just need to go to another town to fix some problems. We're going in the morning. We're going with ship and we'll be back about a day or two." She replied. I nodded slowly.
"All right. See you in a few days, I guess..." I replied. They nodded and left. I sighed and walked to bed where I fell asleep in tears... I dreamed something I didn't have in a long time. Freedom.
♥*~*~*~*~♥
I woke up a few hours later. My pillow was wet. I slowly rose up from bed and walked to the door. I slowly opened it, seeing confused guard who was staring at me.
"Do you need something, princess?" Guard asked. I nodded in agreement.
"I just came to see do you have any news about my parents." I said. He shook his head.
"No, we don't. But we're expecting their letter tomorrow." He said. I slowly nodded in silence.
"Can I walk around the castle a bit? I'm lonley in my room." I replied. He nodded.
"As long as you dont go outside or near other people." He said. I nodded happily and walked away.
I smiled as I ran all around the castle for 1 hour. Suddenly, I heard someone coming. I started to run as fast as I could. My parents never let me to near someone becouse they were scared. Scared someone will kill me becouse they'll think I'm the monster.
I Ran to my doors and opened them with my magic. The guard looked confused at me, but I didn't care. I ran inside and jumped in bed. I sighed in relief. I looked at the window. It was dark outside. The moon was high in the sky. I read somewhere that in Equestria, Princess Luna raise the moon.
"It looks its time to sleep. And Luna sure did a good job. I wish I could meet her one day... but right. It wont happen..." I said to myself. I turned to a picture of my parents on the wall. I smiled at them.
"Good night. I hope to see you soon..." I trailed off. I yawned and jumped in bed and fell asleep with a little smile on my face.
♥*~*~*~*~♥
Sunshine came throughout my windows to my eyes. I groaned, putting a pillow on my head. After a few minutes I finally got up. Yawning, I fixed my long, white mane into braids and brushed my teeth. I looked to my left and saw breakfast on the little table under the picture
"Hm...It looks delicious." I was slowly walking to the table, but door shot open. I gasped, turning my head to the doors. I saw a guard with terrified face.
"Princess, I have a message for you...its...about your parents..." he trailed off, looking at the ground. I knew something was wrong. My eyes widened and floor under me froze.
"Wha- what h-happened?" I asked. My face was full of worry and my eyes started to tear up.
It's-they-" I cut him off. I just couldn't wait.
"What happened!" I yelled. Floor was froozing and everything around. He took step back. My eyes started to tear up.
"I- they had an accident at sea... about halfway of their trip- there was big storm...They haven't survived. I'm sorry." He said. My body froze. I stared at him in shock. Tears started to fall off my face in silence.
"Princess, do you want an-" I cutted him off.
"No. Just- leave me alone." I said. He still stood there.
"Are you sh-" he started, but I cut him off again.
"I said NO!" I yelled that the whole town could hear me. He nodded and ran out, slamming the doors. I locked them with my magic. After that I sat on the floor. Tears started to fall even faster.
" No-no! It can't be! They're not gone!" I yelled. After that I burst intotears.
I cried like that about 3 hrs when I heard knocking on doors. I didn'twant to speak with someone, so I just stood in silent
" Sis? I-It's me, Anna." I heard my sister behind the doors. I sighed, still in silence
"Please... don't shut me out again ... not now when I need you the most..." she trailed off. I never wanted to shut her out, but I didn't have a choice
After a few minutes, she left. I climbed in bed. I fell asleep... dreaming my parents...the ones I lost forever...
I personally think its off to a great start good job besides the first chapter is never truly not meant to be interesting
I like it ... I've seen the movie so I will be interesting how you work though parts.... Just some advice... I normally wouldn't abbreviate things in my writing....
Like this.... I would write this out.... It maybe easy to write like this but why not spend three more seconds and type something out.... It is hard work writing stories(I know this because I haven't worked much on mine since like December ....) This is for the world to read.... Make it your best work!
I do enjoy your story, but I have not seen on DVD. However I will have when it comes on DVD/blue ray combo, please update more to see what Elsa is up to anytime for the coronation ceremony.
Well, thanks everypony! I'll update soon!
I love it just for the very idea alone already.
This horizontal line is so cute
Do you mind if I post some grammar and spelling mistakes, so you can fix them?
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Shure!
A generic rule that you seem to break in the whole chapter: if you have a "she said","Elsa whispered",etc type of sentence, the format is the following:
"Something the character says," character said.
-The quoted sentence ends with comma, or question mark or explanation mark, but not a period(.), if the "said tag" is coming after the quotation.
-The part after the quotation, the "said tag" shouldn't be capitalized. That's why the "character" is with small "c". Unless if it should be capitalized anyways, so it would be "Elsa said", because you start Elsa with big "E" anyways.
For more information, please read "Quotation Marks" from http://www.fimfiction.net/group/916/school-for-new-writers/thread/2709/lecture-punctuation-the-quickstart-guide
Other things: (try to CTRL+F the quoted part, so you can easily fix them)
painful
lived in a town
to come out and play
it would freeze (will -> would, since it's past tense narrative)
period (.) at the end
"went silent" or "became silent"
The floor
3863993
Thanks... I fixed it!
wonderfuL!!! by the way, WHY WONT THEY ADD A DISCORD EMOTICON HERE!? *stomps hoof on my table* I WANTED A DISCORD EMOTICON HEEEEERE!!! *stares at my discord picture* I HAD A DREAM ABOUT HIM.
3869317
Well... thank you! And I don't realy know why they didn't, but it would be cool if they do, I guess...
You have a good plot here for a pony version of frozen
Will you ever countinue this? I'm a big Frozen fan, and you haven't made any chapters in a year.