WHEE!!! LOOKIE AT YOU!!
I Meet A Pwetty Pwincess!
“GET THE HAY BACK HERE!!!” The wave of Ponies in armour cried as I ran through the corridors.
“OKAY! JUST LET ME RUN!!” I yelled back, running into a room with a crescent moon on the door, I quickly shut the door behind me. Quietly of course, there’s no reason to just go around slamming doors here and there.
I took a look around. “People. This room belongs to an emo.” Black walls, black furniture, black bedding, black drapes (actual drapes!). The moon and stars on the ceiling are a nice touch though.
Speaking of bedding, there was a bed. ...What you want more? Okay. On the bed there was another Pony asleep. ...What, now you want me to describe the Pony? Fine. She (I could tell because of the shape of the face and plot. What? I know the correct terms!) looked like an emo. Alright, alright! She had a horn and wings! And was quite sexy. What? You asked for it. She had a midnight coat if you must know.
Hmmm. Her name is Desmond the Moon Pony! Fine... Moony the Moon Pony...
The guards finally crept into the room. “Shhh! Where’d he go?” One of them whispered carefully
“I don’t know, man,” I whispered back. “I think he’s gone.”
“Damn it!” He muttered. “...Wait a minute!”
“Bye!” I laughed, hopping up above the bed and banging pans together above the bed.
“Huughhh...” Moony the Dark Pony of Vengeance grumbled. “Wha...Tia...what time is it...?”
“Hey, shhh! Please, don’t do it!” The guard hissed.
I gave a grin. “What? This?” I leaned down so my face was level with Moony the Night Watchpony. “MORNING, MOONY!!!” I roared. As her eyes shot open I attached my lips to hers with sticky goo goo of saliva. I quickly detached myself and threw myself out of the window.
As the wind soared past me I started to think that maybe this was a bad idea...
That thought threw itself into the pit of despair as I bounced off a mattress a winged Pony was carrying and smashed through another window into a corridor. “Whoa. That was a lucky coincidence.” I looked around expecting the stupid brigade to just show up again.
Nothing. “Huh. Okay, I can do it this way instead.” I said as I walked along the corridor.
After a few minutes I found the kitchen and raided all the ice cream and cake. “Muhahahahaha!” I laughed evilly as I heard a cry of despair in the distance. “Hmm. I wonder if they have an ice rink?”
“ACHOO!!” Someone nearby sneezed.
“Bless you.” I said.
“Thanks,” she replied. “...Wait, what?”
I turned and saw the same winged, horned Pony I snogged earlier. “Oh, hi, Moony!”
“Our name is Princess Luna!” She yelled.
“Sure thing, Moony. Heh...You kiss well.” I grinned.
“SILENCE!!!” She bellowed, my hair blowing all over the place.
“...” I quickly fixed my hair.
“Now...thou would do well to-”
“That. Was. AWESOME!!!” I cried. “My turn! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” I roared, blowing her crown off to the side of her head.
She quickly fixed her crown and grabbed me in a light blue aura. “Thou will come with Us.”
“Oh, I get it!”
“Finally!” She groaned.
“You want sexy times!” I grinned.
“Buh, wha? Sexy...NO!!” She roared, her head looking like it was going to explode from annoyance. I have this effect on people. “I am taking you to see my sister!” She stressed. “For diplomatic reasons.” She added before I could say anything.
“Boy, oh, boy, I could really go for a random coincidence of helpfulness right about now!” I yelled.
“Yeah, well, that’s not going to happ-” She started before a piano dropped on her, cutting the aura off.
“Weeeeeell...didn’t see-actually, yeah, I did kinda see that coming.” I shrugged, sporting a mad grin.
“Sorry!” A voice cried from above as a grey winged Pony-wait...pegasus! I remember now!-flew down. “Oh, no! Did I hit somepony again?”
“Well...yeah. But, it’s cool, it’s just Moony.”
“Moony?” She asked.
“Yeah, she was trying to...capture...me...” Oh! Her eyes... “Your eyes... they’re...”
She looked down. “Go ahead. Laugh, it’s what everypony else does.”
I stared right into her gold, wall-eyed, orbs of beauty. “Ma Cheri, your eyes are so exotic, ma heart soars like-oh, balls to it.” I cut off the French accent, pulling her into a snog. Tongue! She’s adding tongue!
We pulled away. “Naughty!” I whispered in her ear and she turned red. “You’re so cute.”
“You...really think I’m cute?” She mumbled.
“Of course, you’re so cute I could just-” I cut off as a groan emanated from under the piano. “Gotta go! Call me!” I yelled, sprinting down the corridor.
I spotted a pair of double doors and pushed my way through and slammed them shut and bolting them. “Heh, heh! No one captures Elliot!!” I chuckled. ...I’ve just locked myself in with a powerful being, haven’t I? I turned and saw another winged unicorn, white this time, with a tattoo of the sun on her flank, with the unicorn from when I arrived. “...Yay! Blue Eyes White Unicorn! What are you doing here?!”
A purple glow encompassed my legs. “No. More. RUNNING!!!” He roared. “You’ve made a mockery of the Royal Guards! All my training, all my hard work!” He broke off sobbing.
I felt bad for the guy, something I rarely feel. This guy’s a good person. “Hey, man. Don’t sweat it. I do this regularly. It’s fun to escape from high-security places. It’s something only I can do, don’t let it get you down.” He stopped sobbing and regained some semblance of normality. Good enough for me.
“So, you are the creature that has been running around causing chaos.” The white winged unicorn said evenly.
“Well, I wouldn’t call it chaos that’s such a strong word! It’s more like...yeah, okay chaos.” I shrugged. “What are you going to do ‘bout it? I can’t stop. But we have a bigger issue.”
“What is that?”
“Your OPness. You’re a winged unicorn. No fair. I call hax!”
“Alicorn.”
“Bless you.”
“No...It’s not winged unicorn, it’s Alicorn.”
“Ohhh. ...I don’t get it. Meh.”
“Please,” Blue Eyes White Unicorn muttered. “Just...please address the Princess correctly.”
“Oh, you’re a Princess?! Hi, talking Pony, Princess, guy, dude!”
“My name is Princess Celestia.” She replied evenly.
“Yeah, sure thing, Sun Butt.”
She sighed. “And who, pray tell, are you?”
“My name’s Elliot. And I’m crazy.”
“If you were really crazy you wouldn’t tell me you were crazy.”
“Unless the one doing the telling of the asking knew you wouldn’t believe him so he told the truth to lie to tell the truth to the one doing the asking of the telling.”
“Right.” Blue Eyes White Unicorn said confidently. “...Erm...what?”
“Clever. But you’re too smart to be crazy. Too ingenious,” Sun Butt said. Ah, well, I tried to warn them.
There was a knocking at the doors and a prissy looking unicorn entered. He has blond lady hair! It flows in the wind, like petals in a summer’s breeze! Hey, I can be poetic when I want! “Aunty, may I have a...What is that horrid looking creature? Some sort of magical spell gone wrong?”
“Hi! My name’s Elliot, I’m you, who’s me, who’s Pikachu!”
“...I’m you...who’s...me......who’s...Pikachu?”
“...” I looked up at Celestia. “I think he’s crazy. He’s speaking gibberish.”
“Bu...ARGH! I don’t have time for you, commoner!”
“Want a pancake?” I asked holding one out.
“I don’t eat common peasant food.”
...Did...did he just...? He INSULTED THE PANCAKE OF TRUTH!!! Oh, it. Is. On.
A crazy grin spread itself across my face. “This...is gonna be fun!”
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MOAR
Notsurewatjust
I saw too many SS13 references. Too many.
Derp.
3678420 Actually, I'm going for that he both does and doesn't know what he's doing. Also, as you may have saw in the end of chapter 1, his ability to break the fourth wall is going to be on and off. Just depends on how I feel.
3678441 What's SS13?
3680032 I figured you would say so. Just... So many. And SS13 is awesome.
3680038 No...I really don't know what SS13 is. Should i know?
Dude! Don't leave me hanging! I want to know! What are the supposed references?! I must know!
I...I'll take you off my Christmas Card list! Don't make me do it!
3678240 THANK YOU!!! DAMN CAPS LOCK!!!
You, sir, have a moustache for that cool avatar.
3680170 Oh. Okay, thanks!
This is funny
3680690 Glad you think so! I can't tell with my own work.
You might want to know that I'm working on chapter 3 right now!
ooooh bluebloods ganna get it.
I need many much more of this