Into Unknown Territory

by Kirb

Chapter 4

Spike paced back and forth.
"Damn it!" he said. "They should have come by now! And if there are aliens, Rarity could be in danger!"
"Relax," said Twilight. "I'm sure they're fine. If I'd sent Rainbow out alone, however..."
"Okay," said Spike. "But if aliens did get to Rarity, I'm going to show them who's boss in Ponyville."
Suddenly, as if on cue, Rarity ran in.
"Twilight!" she yelled! "We found an alien!"
Twilight got up. "Really?"
"Oh yes," said Rarity. "But it's real heavy, so we might need help carrying it in."
Spike and Twilight ran out and helped carry Major Evans in. Unfortunately, he was still too heavy, so they dropped him on the ground. Rainbow Dash and Applejack panted.
"You know," said Rainbow Dash, "it might have been easier if Rarity had actually helped instead of just standing around complaining!"
"Hey!" said Rarity. "I had no choice! I don't want to touch a filthy alien! Celestia knows where it's been! Anyway, I'm going home to take a shower. I must get all this mud out of my hair!"
"Okay," said Twilight, partially glad that Rarity was leaving. As Rarity walked out the door, Spike followed her, but Twilight stopped him. "And where do you think you're going?"
"I'm going to hang out with Rarity for a while!" said Spike. "It's the least I can do, after all, I am glad she survived."
"Uh-uh," said Twilight. "No way, you're staying in here. There could be more aliens out there and I wouldn't want something bad to happen to you."
"Twiligh'," said Applejack, "'ere was only one set o' tracks leadin' from th' crash site."
"See?" said Spike.
"I still don't want you going out there," said Twilight. "Bad things happen at night."
"What's the worst they can do?" asked Spike. "Love and tolerate me to death?"
"Stay," said Twilight sternly, giving Spike the hairy eyeball.
"Uh, Twilight?" said Rainbow Dash. "Aren't you going to examine the alien?"
"Yes," said Twilight, "but I will need complete silence and no distractions. Therefore, I will have to ask you to leave."
"Okee," said Applejack. "I gon' turn in for th' night. See y'all in th' mornin'." She left, along with Rainbow Dash. Spike followed.
"Spike!" yelled Twilight.
"Fine," said Spike, turning around and walking back in.
...
The next morning, Spike woke up, yawned, and went downstairs. But he was surprised to see Twilight asleep on the floor, next to Major Evans, who was now on a table.
"Twilight!" yelled Spike. "Wake up!"
"Ugh..." The unicorn got up and looked around.
"Twilight, did you stay up all night examining the alien?" asked Spike.
"No, not all night," said Twilight, "because I know I must have fallen asleep at some point."
"So what did you find out?" asked Spike.
"Well," said Twilight, getting up, "for one thing, this alien is a highly evolved primate."
"You mean," said Spike, "he's an ape?"
"I guess you could say that," said Twilight. "It has a lack of body hair and an extremely short mane. This must be a custom among its species. Its attire is strange, for it covers its entire body except its front hooves, which are even more odd because they have short limbs sticking out of them. Frankly, it's unlike any species I've ever seen before. There is one other thing I noticed, however."
Twilight's horn lit up and Major Evans' notepad floated toward her.
"I found this in one of its pockets. It appears that the alien has developed a written language, so we are to assume that it is intelligent. Too bad I can't read any of this."
"Wow!" said Spike, surprised. "There's one thing I'm wondering, though. Is it a he or a she?"
"I have not figured out its gender yet. Myself, I'm wondering if its species has genders. However, there is one way of figuring out, and its lack of body hair would make it surprisingly easy to do so."
She reached down into the front of his pants, but quickly pulled out.
"Definitely male."
Suddenly, they heard some murmuring. They turned and saw Major Evans moving.
"Ooh yeah, baby! Do that again, will you?"
"What the hell?" said Twilight and Spike at the same time. Just then, Pinkie Pie and Applejack walked in.
"What've you found out?" said Applejack.
"Ssh!" said Twilight. "He's awake. Don't make any loud noises, it might surprise him."
"He's awake?" said Applejack. "How did you find out his gender?"
"Um..." said Twilight.
...
It was about that time when Major Evans opened his eyes slowly. The first thing he saw was the ceiling of Twilight's library.
"Ugh," he murmured. "Where am I?"
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie jumped in his face.
"Hi!" she said. "I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"AAAAAAAAA!" yelled Evans, pushing Pinkie Pie off of him. He backed into a corner of the library. "Get back! Horses can't talk!"
"First of all," said Twilight, "we're ponies, not horses. Secondly, we have always been able to speak. Thirdly, hello! My name is Twilight Sparkle and welcome to Ponyville."
"Ponyville?!" yelled Evans. "You mean there's more of you?! Help!!!"
"Sir," said Twilight, taking a step forward, "calm down. We don't want to hurt you, we just want to ask you a few questions."
"Shut up!" said Evans, kicking Twilight to the other side of the room. "You guys aren't real! This is all just a dream!"
He picked up his notepad, ran to the door and opened it, but was surprised to see the rest of Ponyville outside. And the ponies were just as surprised to see him.
"AAAAAAAAA!" he yelled. "This is not real! This is all a dream!" He ran through the streets and out of town.
A light-gray pegasus with a yellow mane floated toward Twilight.
"Why is that guy running and yelling 'this is not real'?" asked the pegasus.
"You wouldn't understand, Derpy," said Twilight.
"Okay!" Derpy flew away.