The Conversion Bureau: The Land Downunder

by Da Bunnana King

Chapter Five: Lunch is nice

The Conversion Bureau: The Land Downunder
By Da Bunnana King

Chapter Five: Lunch is nice
===

Our small little group walked out of the line for the cafeteria and back into the lunch room which was somewhat deserted except for a few other people who were beginning to line up and get their food; until the the sound of bumps and unsteady hooves slowly trotting down the hallway was heard. A unicorn and a regular pony leaning up against the pink unicorn with a similar pink mane made our way towards us. The other pony had a red coat, dark red hair and brown eyes, each step he took seemed to be uncertain each time but slowly but surely they made to us.

"Sup, so who's this shady looking fella?" said the red Earth pony,

"I am Mantequia, the last of the Mechicans." I responded, whilst eating the small pile of salad that I had before me.

"Ahhh, so you must be one of the new staff that's going to work here. Hi, I’m James." He said holding out his hoof and trying to keep his balance.

I facepalmed, "Its me, Alex. My word James - did ponification also come with a free ticket to forget everyone you knew too?"

"No reason to be a dick about it Alex. I mean, you do have a beard and also a fucked up face...” said Jude while taking a bit out of the red apple he had,“so care to explain?" Jude said defending James.

"What about my face?" I said as I began to panic and feel my face for any imperfections; but I felt a very short beard and some long gashes and small hole in my face which brought pain for when I touched them. 'Fuck, what happened to my beautiful face? Now my modeling career is over.' I thought to myself,as I tried to look on a bright side.

"Alex?" Louis asked trotting up to me attempting to calm me down.

"Yeah sorry, zoned out for a bit there... does anyone have a razor I could borrow after lunch?"

"Ummm, most of us don't shave - ask Bruce, he might have one." said Martin.

"Alright-y then." I responded, while continuing to eat my salad.

"So," Said James trotting up to me and sticking his face in front of mine, "What you think?"

"You look like a little horse."

"Very funny, but tell me - do I have a red mane?"

"Yeah... why?"

"Sweet. Oh that and it will make it easier to make up a name later; but for now just call me James." he said carefully trotting over to the opposite side of the table where there was a spare meal tray.

'Where the hell did that food come from...? It's somehow Dylan's fault.' I thought to myself as I watched James struggle to sit down on his haunches. "Does every meal come with a free show?" I asked, trying to stir up the conversation again.

"What are you going on about, all newfoals have problems for the first day as they adjust to their new bodies." replied Martin.

"The fuck is a newfoal, and why does it sound so gay?" I asked.

"Newfoals are humans who were converted into ponies. It's what we all are and soon you two to be." He said pointing at Jude and I with his hoof.

"Do we have to be called newfoals?"

"No, but it should be explained to you at the orientation later today." Martin replied while in the corner of my eye, I saw James having some form of foodgasm.

"James you right mate?"

"THIS IS SO BUCKING DELICIOUS!" he cried out as he began to slowly devour his plate of hay.

"I know,right, and you thought I was lying." Louis said watching James,

"So I am assuming ponification comes with a free dose of stupidity-or has he slowly gone more into this state?" I asked, holding back from bursting into laughter as he looked like each time he took a bit he would begin to cry from the burst of flavor.

"He has been in a slow decline ever since you left... the doctors said that not even ponification would save him." said Louis while making a long face.

"Hey leave him alone... and besides, you have always know he has been like that; ponification just turned the dial up to eleven." Jude also commented, trying to keep a straight face.

"Seriously, guys, leave him alone. Both of you know that newfoal taste buds are newly developed and also his tongue is telling his brain that it is delicious." Martin said.

"I think Louis’ answer was the closest one here." I replied.

"Well, we'll see who looks ridiculous when you're eating your first meal as a pony." said James, eating the last bit of hay off of his plate.

"Have you seen me eat?" I said lifting my head up while they all began to giggle at me, "What?"

"You got salad in your beard," Louis said laughing,

"Well, of course I do, I'm saving it for later... you know if I get hungry." I said, giving the old shifty eyes.

"Right." Jude said rolling his eyes,

"So... Alex; what exactly brings you here? Because last time, I recall you weren't so happy about your mum being ponified, or ponies in general." said Martin, trying to change the conversation.

"Well you remember why my dad was killed, and mum was ponified in the first place?" I asked the group, who all shook their heads, "Well I went on a patrol one day and stumbled onto a meeting house for the HLF..."
===

I slowly approached the metal door, checking the allyway making sure that there was no one else was around. The door itself was iron mixed with titanium; it had a small keypad and a retina scanner. The keypad I could get through no problem - but the scanner would prove troublesome. I crouched over the small keypad and removed my multi-tool, which I opened up to the small flat head, and began to unscrew the small chromed bolts that held the front part of the faceplate to reveal the inner workings of the machine.

I pulled out a small bundle of wires, and began to search through them for two wires that I needed; a blue one and a red one. I found them and then proceed to cut them and wrap the wires together, this would ensure that any combination I put in would make the door open... but then came the retinal scanner.

I moved up a little to come face to eye piece of the scanner. I had heard that the machines could be tricked if you breathed on them and then attempted to scan your eyes. So I did, breathing into the eyepiece and then placing my face to the scanner, hoping for the best.

Next thing I heard was the door mechanisms begin to unlock,

"Fuck yeah," I muttered to myself as I proceeded inside the safe house. It was dark and damp; the walls themselves were dripping with moisture. The whole place was disgusting, but it seemed to open up after the first flight of stairs I descended in order to reach the inner sanctum of the building, which was a large open room with metal walkways crossing the tops of the room. There were sixteen of them gathered around a very large table with maps of Australia and America that had red thumbtacks in them, and string in some major cities and towns connected via red string.

'Must be their HQ's and supply lines; base might want that, and they better give me some leave too.' I thought to myself as I quietly crept up onto the metal. With each boot fall, a small metallic cling would be heard; but I eventually made it over to a nice vantage point from where I could get the job done and get back to base.

I brought up my rifle, and looked through the sights of it.
“Rest in peace,” I muttered as I squeezed the trigger and felt the recoil of the gun as I looked away. I kept on firing until I had spent all my rounds, I looked to see if I had done what I was ordered to. I saw their lifeless corpse on the ground in pools of their own blood around the table with the map only partially intact.

I walked off the catwalk, while changing magazines on the rifle and cocking it. They never stood a chance, or even knew that today that they would die. The thought sent a chill down my spine, but they chose to harm innocent ponies and also defy the Australian government... 'Wait what the hell did I just think. Fuck, maybe Jude was right about the indoctrination of most military personnel.' I thought to myself as I continued to the table with the lifeless bodies of HLF members. Most of them were on the ground in small puddles of their own blood, but some of them were draped on the table.

I stepped over their lifeless bodies, getting blood on my boots as I tried to get to the table with the map on it; but I felt a hand grab my leg, to try and stop me from advancing from the table. So I pointed my rifle at what ever that grabbed me, to see a lifeless hand on my boot which was attached to a bullet ridden man with his cold blue eyes staring at me. Giving him the respect he deserved, I bent down and closed his eyes, hoping he would be redeemed in the eyes of the lord. I continued to the table and removed my phone that had a camera on it and began to take photos of the map; then I removed the map with the thumbtacks and string and placed it into my backpack and then radioed HQ.

"This is Sargant Linstrom reporting,” I spoke into the radio, “I have taken down the HLF safe house and captured intel, requesting a clean up team. How copy?"

"Roger, a team is being dispatched now; return to base for debrief." Replied my CO's voice.

"Roger." I said as I made my way back to the entrance.
===

"And that's what happened," I said finishing the tale.

"But how does this relate to your life being turned upside down?" Louis said poking me with his muzzle.

"Well..." I said before being cut off by the intercom.

"Would all newfoals please proceed to classroom two for basic Equestrian hygiene” said the female voice over the intercom, “And would all new convertees please report to classroom one for orientation please. Thank you."

"Well, I'll tell you the rest of the story over dinner. See ya later bronies." I said waving.

"Wait, wait, wait,” Martin said stopping me with his hoof,“What did you call us?"

"A brony."

"What's a brony?" asked James, raising an eyebrow.

"A bro who is now a pony." I replied.

"Makes sense... but, why?"

"Because newfoal sounds crap; and besides, I have ADD, so things like this pop into my head every so often."

"Alright then... well see you later." Said Louis, waving me off as I walked out of the lunchroom and into the long hallway that held all the classrooms.
===
Authors note: Thanks to Silvertie for prereading this and being a grammar nazi. Also I am finally done with study block so I should be writing more of this stuff because apparently you like it. So comment and all that good stuff, but once again I am needed else where.
Bunnana AWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
-Bunnana King

Comments

[Jaysteeny]

Liar. You have an Exam on Friday for IPT. Which I haven't studied for...

[Ocean Breeze]

Brony... xD
When's a new chapter coming out?

[Da Bunnana King]

383211 When its good and ready... well basically after I have finished chapter two on YAW

[Randall116]

Hey Looky here Mr.Bunnana King!
I READ THIS CHAPTER