Remember Your Roots
The news of Shine and Celestia's engagement had spread through all of Equestria like wildfire. Within the first few hours, ponies living as far out as the Crystal Empire and Dodge Junction had heard of the Princess's engagement to Shine.
A lot needed to be done before the big day arrived, and everyone in Canterlot knew it. Celestia and Shine had already decided that the day of their wedding should be in the early throes of autumn, as it was Celestia's favorite season (and Shine was willing to concur). Twilight and the others were all more than willing to lend a helping hoof, with Twilight appointing herself as the head coordinator of the wedding committee.
However, there was also a lot of work that needed to be done on both Shine's and Celestia's part.
Celestia was in her room, filling out invitations to the wedding, when she heard a knock on the door. She opened the door with her magic, and Luna came in.
"Greetings, sister. How goes the preparations?" Luna asked.
"Smoothly, fortunately." Celestia nodded, "Invitations have already been sent to Shine's family and friends back in Dodge Junction, and I am just finishing up invitations to send to all the royal families from all the kingdoms."
"Wow, it seems like you two will be having a wedding for the ages." Luna mused.
"I know. It is not every day that a princess gets married." Celestia stated.
"Especially a princess such as you, sister." Luna smiled. "In fact, somepony has come to the castle to help celebrate your engagement."
"Really, who?" Celestia asked.
Luna then gestured to the balcony, as Celestia went outside to look, only to gape at the sight of a very large crowd of ponies.
"Equestria." Luna smirked.
Moments later, Celestia and Shine emerged onto the balcony, to the delight of the cheering ponies.
"I'm a little confused here." Shine told Celestia. "What exactly are we supposed to do?"
"Just smile, wave, and thank them for coming." Celestia told him.
"Uhh, thanks for coming?" Shine waved awkwardly.
"Yes, thank you all." Celestia added. "Your presence here means a lot to us."
The next morning, Shine was in his own room, reading a bunch of books, all of them regarding the life of royalty. Although Shine prefered to remain as his old farmer pony self, he knew that once he was married to Celestia, he would become a prince. And given how strict and judgmental most of the nobles were, he was spending a good portion of the morning trying to learn the ins and outs of princehood just so he could make a good impression for the engagement party that the nobles had put together for the couple this afternoon.
"The Royal We? What, did the pronoun 'I' or the word 'me' not exist back then?" Shine groaned.
His lapse of mental frustration was interrupted when a royal guard walked in.
"Shine Paladin, sir. There is a pony at the gates that seeks an audience with you." The guard stated.
"Sorry, but I don't think I am in the mood to see the crowd out there." Shine muttered, holding the bridge of his snout with his hoof.
"With all due respect, sir, this pony is insistent on seeing you." The guard explained.
"How insistent?" Shine asked with suspicion.
The guard was about to answer... when suddenly, another guard came in... being carried by a big red stallion behind him, holding the guard by the scruff of his neck, much to the two's surprise.
"Very." The carried guard whimpered.
"Sorry fer bargin' in, but Ah grew impatient." A familiar southern voice apologized after unceremoniously dropping the guard on the floor.
Shine's eyes widen and his mouth gaped, "Oh my gosh... Big Red?!"
"It's been a while, kid." Big Red smiled widely.
Almost instantaneously, Shine's mood lightened up and the Pegasi tackled the big pony, the two hugging each other tightly. The first guard, confirming the connection between the two, decided to give them some space, as he then dragged the stupefied guard that was carried in out of the room.
"I was carried... by a grown stallion." The guard whimpered.
"I don't believe it. What brings you here?!" Shine exclaimed.
"What else, other than mah best buddy is getting hitched!" Big Red explained, as he pulled out a Dodge Junction Daily that had a picture of Shine and Celestia on the front. "Soon as Ah saw yer face in the papers, Ah went and hopped on the first train to Can-tur-lot. Reckon it gives me the chance to see you and lil' Mist again."
Shine frowned in guilt, "I'm really sorry about how sudden I was when I told you I was staying here. Not even without a proper explanation."
"Well, shoot, it's perfectly fine." Big Red shrugged off, "Me an' Cherry both knew you'd be leaving the nest someday, and who better to watch after Mist than her big brother?"
"Thanks, Red." Shine smiled.
"So... where's the lucky bride-to-be?" Big Red asked.
"Shine, are you in here?"
Princess Celestia entered the room, with Mist following behind her.
"I heard that someone came into the castle looking for y-" Celestia began.
"Big Red!" Mist cheered, as she quickly tackled Big Red.
"Mist! Aw, Ah missed you a whole bunch!" Big Red chuckled as he hugged the little filly.
"Shine, who is this stallion?" Celestia questioned.
"Oh, Celestia, allow me to introduce you to my best friend, Big Red." Shine gestured to Red, who put Mist down, "Big Red, this here is my to-be wife and princess of Equestria, Celestia."
"Well, shoot, it's an honor, ma'am." Big Red blushed as he took Celestia's hoof and kissed it. "And might Ah say... you look a lot taller in pony. Not to mention more purty."
"Why thank you, Mr. Red." Celestia smiled, "Shine has told me much about you."
"Is that so?" Big Red smirked. "Then you should know that Ah'm also Shine and Mist's gar-dee-an." He then grabbed both Shine and Mist in a bear hug. "Raised 'em both m'self."
"Well, you have certainly done a brilliant job. Shine is quite the gentlecolt." The alicorn complimented, causing Shine to blush.
"Naw, yer too kind, ma'am." Big Red nodded. "Though Ah must admit, Ah musta taught Shine well for him to have netted a fine prize such as yerself."
A blush appeared on Celestia's cheeks.
"Oh my, I now see where Shine gets his sweet nature." She beamed.
The doors opened again as Luna and Blueblood came in.
"What seems to be going on in here?" Luna asked.
"Yes, I found one of our guards curled up in a corner whimpering about some 'powerful' Earth Pony." Blueblood added.
"That's mah bad." Big Red raised his hoof.
"And who is this?" Luna questioned.
"Oh this is the stallion who raised Shine and Mist, Big Red." Celestia explained. "Mr. Red, this is my sister, Princess Luna, and my nephew, Prince Blueblood."
"Is that so? It is pleasure to finally make your acquaintance." Luna said.
"The pleasure's all mine." Big Red beamed.
"Big Red... as in the stallion who found a hundred and twenty one ways to kill a Timberwolf?" Blueblood quipped fearfully.
"Actually, a hundred an' twenty-two." Big Red corrected. "Ah found another way to kill one... using this hoof." He gestured to his front hoof. "You should see all the hunting trophies Ah have back home."
"How... nice." Blueblood gulped, secretly praying that he wouldn't find out about his and Shine's 'past'.
"Now that introductions are aside, I would like to inform the 'lovely couple' that the party in your honor will commence shortly." Luna explained.
"My, is it that time already?" Celestia mused, "Then we must get ready. Come along, dear, we mustn't be late." She said to Shine.
"Yeah, I've got to run." Blueblood shrugged, as he cast an uneasy glance at Red while departing. "See you... around?"
"We must depart as well, come along, Mist, we have to fit you for your flower filly dress." Luna smiled.
"Okay, see you, Red!" Mist quickly pecked Red on the cheek as she hopped after the night alicorn.
"I'll catch up with you later, alright, Red?" Shine assumed.
"Sure, you and Celestia have fun, 'kay?" Big Red chuckled.
"Well, if you want, you are free to join us, Mr. Red." Celestia suggested.
"What?" Shine gasped.
"Oh naw, Ah don't wanna impose or nuthin'." The earth pony shrugged.
"I insist, I would like to get to know a dear friend of my husband-to-be more." Celestia smiled.
"If ya put it that way, who am Ah to deny a request from th' princess?" Big Red laughed.
"Cherryblossom...could you excuse me and Red for a second?" Shine requested
"Sure, dear, just don't be long." Celestia nuzzled Shine as she left the room. As soon as she did, Big Red tipped his hat.
"Hoo-wee, that is one nice-flanked kind beauty ya got there." Big Red whistled. "Just like yer pappy, you go to a faraway place to do some serious stuff, and you end up with a mare on your shoulder."
"Thanks..." Shine shrugged, although other matters were preventing him from enjoying that comment. "Look, Red, before we go to this party, I have to warn you..."
"Warn me? About what? It ain't like we're goin' huntin' fer Timberwolves." Big Red asked, mystified.
"I know, but... the ponies at this party aren't particularly like our friends back in Dodge Junction. They're very wealthy and come from very influential families." Shine glanced at Red, not sure if he was following him. "I'm not sure how they will react if they... met you."
"Uh... yer point?" Big Red asked.
Shine sighed.
"Look, all that I ask is that you, uh, be mindful of the others." Shine requested. "This isn't Dodge Junction. You understand?"
"Ah got ya, Shine." Big Red smiled and winked. "Don't you worry, Ah'll be on my best behavior. Jes' gimmee a sec to get ready."
"Good." Shine sighed in relief.
As Red dashed off somewhere, Shine went to catch up with Celestia.
"Shine, where's Big Red?" Celestia asked.
"He said something about getting ready for the party." Shine replied. "I'm sure he'll be here any minute."
"Did somepony mention me?" Big Red's voice called.
Celestia and Shine turned to see Red... wearing a monocle.
"Uh, Red, what's with the monocle?" Shine asked.
"Well, Shine, it's a known fact that glasses make ponies look smarter and soph-ee-stee-cated." Red declared. "But since Ah left mah smart glasses at home, I had to make do with half'a one."
"Oookay." Shine said awkwardly.
"Now that we're all here, let's get to the party." Celestia declared. "It'll be starting soon."
With some trepidation, Shine followed alongside Celestia as they went over to the ballroom. Just before they entered, Shine caught Red's eye and mouthed "not Dodge Junction." Red nodded in understanding.
The second the doors opened, a cacophony of cheers and applause came from all the guests.
"That's a lot of guests." Shine noted.
"Indeed." Celestia nodded. "I think some mingling is in order."
"What, ya mean now?" Red asked. "In front'a all these ponies?"
"She means we should go and talk to them, Red." Shine explained.
"Oh." Red chuckled. "Mah bad."
The three split up. Shine went from pony to pony, making idle conversation. Soon, he found himself speaking with Fancypants. His blue mane and moustache had taken upon a gray color and there were a few wrinkles on his face, but he still had that charm he possessed years before.
"I must commend you, Shine. It must take an extraordinary pony to win the heart of one of the princesses." Fancypants smiled.
"Extraordinary?" Shine said modestly. "Aw no, I was just lucky."
"Well, luck or not, you are quite the stallion. Reminds me of myself at your age." Fancypants declared.
"Please, you are too k-"
Shine was interrupted by Big Red, who had appeared right beside him, saying "Psst!"
"Yes, Red?" Shine sighed.
"This is kinda embarrassing, but can Ah borrow a couple of bits for them fancy drinks?" Red asked.
"The drinks are free, Red." Shine pointed out.
"Oh, well shoot, what I am still standing here for?" Red chuckled, before running off in the direction of the bar.
"My, my, who was that fellow?" Fancypants said incredulously.
"Oh, a really close friend of mine." Shine chuckled nervously. "He's new here to Canterlot."
"Fascinating." Fancypants chuckled. "It is rather nice to meet a pony that is not native to Canterlot. The nobles here can become so boring."
"Yeah..." Shine nodded, taking silent pride in those words.
Meanwhile, Big Red was skimming the tables for something to eat.
"Geez, for ponies who are rich, they sure are mighty stingy when it comes tah quality food." He noted.
The burly stallion soon came across what looked like Pistachio ice cream.
"Ooh, at least they serve deserts in the middle of the day!" He smiled, before reading the label. "Wasabi? Is that fancy-schmancy talk for Pistachio ice cream?"
"Uh, sir, would you like some Wasabi?" The server pony asked.
"Well, sure, just give me a big scoop of the stuff." Red nodded.
"Sir, I highly advise against that, Wasabi is-" The shocked server started.
"Ah know, Ah know, Ah shouldn't eat a lot of the stuff, but come on, the Princess and mah best friend is getting married." Red interrupted.
The server hesitated, then gave him a scoop of Wasabi.
"My condolences, sir." He cringed.
"You too." Red smiled, putting a spoonful in his mouth.
Meanwhile, Shine was talking to some nobles.
"And then I realized the tree I was bucking had a beehive in it." He finished his story. "Boy, that was one hay of a day, am I right?"
The nobles glared, un-amused.
"Ooookay." Shine said, flustered.
A loud scream suddenly cut through the air, as a tongue-lolling Big Red dashed through the nobles and Shine, and buried his face into a fountain, drinking the water. Seconds later, he pulled out, his mane and hat all wet. Shine tried to refrain from face-hoofing, as the nobles looked in confusion and annoyance.
"Whatever you do, do not eat the free Pistachio ice cream!" Red gasped. "It done turned!"
Big Red walked away, trying to shake off the burn.
"Who was that giant oaf?" One noble asked huffily.
Shine let out a heavy sigh.
After a few more of Big Red's shenanigans and Shine's attempts to get along with the nobles, Shine was simply getting a cup of the castle's wine, hoping it would calm his nerves. He turned to see Big Red relaying some sort of story to the nobles... and judging by the horrified expression on their faces, it could only be one of his Timberwolf hunts. Shine sighed, when Jet Set and Upper Crust soon approached him.
"Hello there." Jet Set said curtly. "Shine Paladin, I presume?
"That's me." Shine nodded.
"It is a treat to finally meet the stallion that Celestia had chosen to be her life's partner... although it will only be for a fraction of it." Upper Crust declared.
"Thanks... I think." Shine muttered, before changing the subject. "I hope you two are enjoying the party?"
"We would be... if not for one major detail." Jet Set grimaced.
Shine was about to ask what, when a few nobles ran away in fear, screaming. Big Red was following them.
"Hey, come back!" Red yelled. "Ah lived in the end! It's the Timberwolves that died a gruesome death!"
"Oh." Shine gulped.
"Honestly, who invited that brute to this party?" Upper Crust sniffed.
'Brute?' Shine thought.
"Dear, dear, brute is such a dirty word... the better term would be 'savage'." Jet Set sneered.
"Now wait just a moment." Shine snarled, outraged. "I know he sticks out like a sore hoof... as much as I hate to admit it..." He muttered. "But give him a break! He's not from around here."
"Even worse!" Jet Set declared. "Ponies like him do not belong in our society. Just look at him!"
They glanced at Red, as he noticed one of the guards, and tried to make him laugh by making faces.
"He's oafish, incompetent..." Shine began to grow irritated at Jet Set's tirade. "...Moronic, ill-mannered..." Big Red finally got the guard to crack by lifting him up into the air, the guard yelling in horror. "...And good gracious, does he smell! In short, he's the worst kind of pony: a hillbilly idiot."
"That hill-billy idiot happens to be the greatest stallion I ever known!" Shine exploded. "You may not know it, but back in Dodge Junction, he's a hometown hero!"
"And how exactly would you know?" Upper Crust asked, suspicious.
"Because that pony..." Shine gestured to Red, who had put the guard down, and was comforting him. "...RAISED me!" Shine stomped his hoof. "He took me and my sister in when our parents died in a freak thunderstorm. He may not be a great stallion in your standards, but to me, he's one of the best... and that's more than anyone can say about you!"
Jet Set was astonished at first... before realizing something.
"He... raised you?" He gasped. "Oh my gosh, that makes a lot of sense."
"A whole lot of sense." Upper Crust added.
"What?" Shine asked. "What are you talking about?"
"I wasn't going to say anything, but you certainly don't fit in." Jet Set declared.
"I don't?" Shine asked.
"Yes." Jet Set nodded. "You are a nervous wreck among crowds, tell stories that no self-respecting nobles cares about, and your mane and coat are an absolute mess..."
"And don't get me started on that eyesore of an necklace you're wearing." Upper Crust added.
Shine was dumbfounded and downtrodden.
"I... I..." He stuttered.
"And the fact that you were raised by that pony only hardens this fact... Celestia is making a huge mistake marrying such an uncultured dolt." Jet Set sneered.
"Excuse ME?!" A familiar voice roared from behind them.
Jet Set and Upper Crust jumped up in shock, as they turned around to find Big Red glaring at them.
"What the... weren't you..." Jet Set babbled, pointing to where Big Red was. "...How?"
"Ah did not just hear you bad-mouth mah friend here, did Ah?" Big Red asked.
"What if you did?" Upper Crust huffed. "It's true!"
"True?!" Big Red repeated.
"Red, take it easy, it's fine." Shine tried to calm his friend.
"The hay it is, where do you two get the nerve to say such things?!" Big Red demanded, leaning in close to Jet Set.
"You think you can intimidate me with your foul breath?" Jet Set coughed.
"For your information, that's the very hot Pistachio ice cream you're smellin'." Big Red corrected him. "Secondly, Shine is one of the best ponies Ah know!"
"I highly doubt that!" Jet Set retorted.
Big Red took off his monocle.
"Shine, kindly hold this half-glass thingie." He passed it over to his friend. "Ah have seen many ponies like you in my days. Ponies who think that a couple a' bits or a famous old guy makes 'em so much better than the Ponies who actually earned their living. Now, ya'll are more than free to make fun a' me, because Ah've heard it all too much growing up for me to be bothered by it. But Shine here is one in a million: he didn't need money or class to woo the princess. He managed to win her heart all on his own, without any of that! You say he's a nervous wreck in crowds? Ah say mighty bashful! You say boring stories? Ah call those sweet memories and lessons! His looks? Rustic and rugged, a look mares go crazy for! And the necklace?!" He glared deeply at Jet Set. "It's more valuable than all the riches you will ever own!"
"A lot of words for a simple-minded farmer pony." Jet Set admitted.
"Yer missin' the point, rich boy." Big Red growled. "Shine not only deserves Celestia... he belongs with her! So what if he's not posh or rich or has a Trottingham accent? Ah'm a proud father, no matter what!"
"Red..." Shine smiled.
"And Ah will not stand around while some cheap, lyin', no-good, rotten, four-flushin', low-life, snake-lickin', dirt-eatin', inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-suckin', dog-kissin', brainless..." Big Red paused to nab a glass of wine from a waiter and sip from it. "Hopeless, heartless, overfed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed filthy rich folks insult MAH SON!" He panted heavily. "So... you can take this cheap imitation wine and shove it!"
Big Red threw the wine all over Jet Set and Upper Crust.
"Gah!" Jet Set yelped. "Why... why you insolent..."
"Is everything all right here?" Asked another familiar voice.
Jet Set and Upper Crust balked as Fancypants and Celestia approached them.
"No, it is not!" Upper Crust hissed. "This lout just insulted us!"
"Lout?" Fancypants asked. "Surely you don't mean this charmingly rustic fellow here?"
"Charming?" Jet Set gulped. "Surely you jest?"
"Surely not." Fancypants retorted. "A down-to-earth pony like him is a breath of fresh air amongst such stuffy nobles."
"But he's crude, uncouth, and distasteful!" Upper Crust grimaced. "He's..."
"Our honored guest." Celestia interrupted. "And I expect you to treat him as such."
"But he's-" Jet Set tried to say.
"Honored guest." Celestia repeated sternly.
"Yes, your majesty." Jet Set and Upper Crust bowed. They quickly bowed to Big Red too before slinking away.
"Ya'll had better run!" Big Red cried after them. "Yer lucky I'm ah pacifist, or you'd have a place on mah trophy wall!" He then turned to Fancypants and Celestia, "Mighty sorry about all that. Don't usually blow mah top like that."
"Don't you worry about it, Big Red." Celestia nodded, "I find it refreshing when some 'ponies' are knocked down from their high horses."
"I'm real sorry, Red." Shine sighed.
"Sorry fer what?" Big Red asked.
"For telling you to be different." Shine smiled. "It doesn't matter what anypony thinks. You just be yourself."
"Really?" Red asked.
"Really." Shine nodded.
"In that case, wait right there." Big Red dashed out of the room, returning moments later with a small case. "Who wants some of mah homemade cherry wine?"
"I'd like to try some." Fancypants held out his glass.
"Comin' right up." Big Red filled the glass.
Fancypants downed the wine.
"Hmm, a fine tipple, if I do say so myself." He declared. "And you say you made it yourself?"
"Darn tootin'." Big red smiled. "It's a secret family recipe."
Celestia tried some next.
"Marvellous!" She smiled.
The guests took note, and several of the nobles tried some.
"Delicious!" Said the noble from before. "Such a fine vintage."
"I got more if you want." Big Red smiled.
"Have you ever considered selling this fabulous drink?" Asked another noble. "I guarantee it would make a tidy profit."
"No foolin'?" Big Red smiled. "Maybe we can jaw about that sometime."
Shine and Celestia looked on as Big Red gave out more wine. Shine was glad that his guardian had finally found a way to endear himself to the nobles.
Eventually, the party came to an end, and the exhausted royal family were preparing to retire.
"Not a bad night, overall." Shine yawned.
"Especially with Big Red to keep things... interesting." Celestia chuckled.
"Shoot, that's what Ah'm here for." Big Red smiled. "And Ah'll be here till mah boy here become mates with his gal."
"That will be wonderful." Shine nodded, "Like old times."
"Yep.." Big Red nodded. "But just so you know, if you two ever happen to… you know, wanna roll in the hay, don't be afraid to not do it on mah account."
Instantly, Shine and Celestia went blood red in the cheeks as well as the face.
"Red! We're not that far into our relationship!" Shine stammered. We're not even married yet-"
"HEE-HEE! I'm just pulling ya leg…" Big Red laughed. "But seriously, don't ya take too long, I want to see some grandfoals in this lifetime."
Celestia and Shine, blushing harder than ever, were about to reply when Blueblood butted in.
"Excuse me for asking, but where is he going to sleep?" Blueblood pointed to Big Red. "Twilight and her friends have taken up the rest of the guest rooms."
Celestia and Shine glanced at Blueblood, then broke into diabolical grins.
"What?" Blueblood trembled.
Later, Blueblood was lying awake in his bed, with Big Red snoring next to him.
"Oh when will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut?!" Blueblood groaned, trying to use his pillow to block out the noise.
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New chapter yay
Nothing brings more joy to a man's heart, than seeing Blueblood suffer.
"And Ah will not stand around while some cheap, lyin', no-good, rotten, four-flushin', low-life, snake-lickin', dirt-eatin', inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-suckin', dog-kissin', brainless..." Big Red paused to nab a glass of wine from a waiter and sip from it. "Hopeless, heartless, overfed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed filthy rich folks insult MAH SON!" He panted heavily. "So... you can take this cheap imitation wine and shove it!"
*snicker* that's tellin' 'em. Have you seen cars 2? 'Cause I swear that he pulled a Mater there.
Also, poor Blueblood. No one seems to see the good in him. He deserved that, I'll admit.
3755195 that's what I thought when I read this I was like 'mater reference buck yea go mater'
Celestia and Shine glanced at Blueblood, then broke into diabolical grins.
"What?" Blueblood trembled.
Later, Blueblood was lying awake in his bed, with Big Red snoring next to him.
"Oh when will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut?!" Blueblood groaned, trying to use his pillow to block out the noise.
3755300 yup
This chapter was just perfect, I really enjoyed it
Lovely Mater reference
Nice cars 2 referance! XD
3755195 That whole rant was actually a rant made in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation right here.
Skip ahead to 1:40 to get my point.
And to all the reviewers of this chapter... Yes, Mater is the inspiration of Big Red's funny moments.
Hope you enjoy.
3755145 3755195 Same here. I love to see Bluedick suffer. I loved Big Red too.
3757837
He deserved that for his behavior recently. There is, however, a little secret (to almost everyone here and probably HASBRO) that I know about him that shows a different side.
3758102 You mean a side thats even worse?
3758661 a side that's better. I can't tell all the details, but I've known him long enough to respect the pony on the inside
Poor...prince Blueblood
I feel sorry for blueblood. But this story is so funny, I am dying on the floor laughing.
You took that sean staght out of cars 2 didn't you
3764540 I NEVER thought I'd hear that sentence in my life XD
why does a castle have so few guest rooms? seriously, Canterlot castle is HUGE!
said Mater in Cars 2. And the scene before that was pretty much what Mater did too
5594191
Yeah no wonder its familiar but its a good scene.Perfect for this chapter👌🏻
Reminds me of a Jerry Clower joke where a two-bit gangster tries to intimidate a farmer while he's plowing. The farmer shoves a sawed off shot gun under the gangster's chin and asks "Well, city feller, you ever kiss a bad breathed, green-lipped mule right on the lips?" The nervous gangster replied "No...b..b,,but I've always wanted to."