Trapped in a tunnel
~Ten minutes later~
Chrysalis flew over the Everfree forest as fast as she could, obliterating any abnormally tall trees that got in her path.
'Buck!' Chrysalis cursed in her head as one of her wings was hit by a bolt of magic, sending her crashing into the ground. Releasing a pulse of magic that burned every plant within a ten meter radius, Chrysalis quickly jumped back into the air and continued to fly away from Twilight Sparkle.
'Faster'
The wind whispered the word in her ears as it blazed past. It was such a simple word, but it unleashed a savagery in her that forced her to follow her instincts and not to over think things for once, forced her to push herself until she dropped to the earth in exhaustion.
A primal roar ripped it's way out of her throat as her magic began to build up around her like it had a mind of it's own. With every wing beat she took, every breath she released, her magic visibly pulsed in time with the heart that hammered away deep within her chest. Her magic left a scar upon anything it touched, leaving not only a visible trail, but a magical one as well. Easy for a Unicorn of Twilight Sparkle's caliber in magic to track.
A growl rose in the back of Chrysalis's throat as she heard Twilight's voice. Why couldn't Twilight just leave her alone? A flash of purple off to Chrysalis's right caught her eye, the only warning she got before a magical dome crashed on top of her, send her smashing into the ground.
Chrysalis snarled in fury as green flames once more enveloped her body as she changed back into her normal form. Spittle flew from her mouth to the translucent walls of the dome where it oozed downwards towards the ground. Her horn lit up as her magic discharged into the air like lightning, each individual bolt slamming into the dome with incredible force. The air smelt of burnt rubber by the time Twilight Sparkle arrived.
Chrysalis smashed her horn against the dome, grunting as pain exploded in her head. While the love the bats gave her kept her alive, it wasn't enough to keep her going for long unless they were around.
Twilight watched silently as Chrysalis's eyes lost their luster and closed. The magic dome dissipated into the air as she rushed forwards to catch the fallen queen before she hit the ground.
~~~
Chrysalis awoke in a dark and damp room, a cave by the smell of it. She laughed; it felt good to laugh. She hadn't truly laughed since she was a child, back before their home burned to the ground. Not to say that laughing lifted her spirits, because it didn't. It did, however, make her feel slightly more comfortable, and it took her mind off the fact that she was more or less powerless at the moment.
Her laughing stopped abruptly as a purple light filtered into the cave and shone directly in her eyes, causing her to hiss in pain as they began to water. Changelings, being nocturnal in nature, hated the sun and any other source of bright light, Chrysalis was no exception.
The atmosphere within the cave suddenly became tense as Twilight Sparkle walked in, her magic the source of the burning light. Chrysalis was forced to shield her eyes with her hooves until they adjusted to the light. She groaned as she began to get a headache.
"You're awake."
It was a statement, an observation, not an insult or a taunt like Chrysalis had been expecting. "Why did you chase me?" The words were like lead in Chrysalis's throat, she'd obviously been unconscious for several days.
"Would you like some water?" Twilight completely ignored Chrysalis's question and levitated a bowl filled with water in front of her. Chrysalis nodded reluctantly, the need for water overriding the need for her question to be answered.
Twilight placed the bowl in front of Chrysalis, watching curiously as the parched Changeling greedily gulped down the water as if it was the last she'd get for several days. When Chrysalis was done she pushed the bowl towards Twilight with her horn, too tired to lift herself up so she could use a hoof to push it over.
Twilight levitated the bowl over to a nearby rock, carefully placing it down before returning her attention to Chrysalis. "Well, I wanted to talk to you. It's not every day you meet the Queen of the Changelings after all." After a few seconds of an 'Oh really?' look from Chrysalis Twilight continued. "And I wanted to know why you were in the Everfree forest."
Chrysalis laughed in her face, she couldn't help it; Twilight Sparkle was just too funny. It took several minutes before Chrysalis had stopped laughing and could breathe properly again. She couldn't believe that Twilight Sparkle, the protege of Princess Celestia, could be so blind to the things right in front of her. "You're kidding, you're kidding right?" The grin on her face faded when Twilight didn't respond. "You're not kidding..." Chrysalis drifted off in thought as her mind tried to think of a proper way to respond to the shocking news that she had just been told.
"Well If you must know," Chrysalis began as she moved her hooves from her face and looked up at her captor for the first time. "I was using the bats as a food source of love, a source that's now gone thanks to you."
Twilight had the decency to look ashamed. "I-I'm s-sorry, I didn't know..."
"Sorry doesn't cut it." Chrysalis sneered. She opened her mouth again to insult Twilight, but decided against it at the last moment. "Where are we anyway?" She asked instead.
Twilight turned her head away, mumbling something under her breath.
"What was that?" Chrysalis asked as she stood up.
Twilight mumbled again, shuffling her hooves nervously.
Chrysalis was beginning to become annoyed. "Spit it out will you?" She spat.
"I don't know!" Twilight shouted, lowering herself to the ground and placing her hooves protectively over her head.
Chrysalis's eye twitched in disbelief. "WHAT!"
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I'm just going to assume that there will soon be a flash back to the past two months to explain all that away, because otherwise having last chapter's build up and then this basically unconected chapter really doesn't
work at allmake much sense. The events of this chapter make it seem, at least wothout good explination, like the last chapter is toatally irrevalent, or even contradictory.I don't quite get it yet, but I'm optimistic for this story!
3543581 Yes there will be flashbacks, though when they will be I cannot say.
Interesting
The lack of length still bothers me but I willpower on, only if to see the future ChryLight
3543606 Well, I hope the events of the first chapter are quickly re-addressed, because that train of events had some wonderful potential, but then it just skips right over what rightfully should have been the main introduction of the story.
I'm not saying that this action is bad necissarily, but a time skip so early on doesn't allow readers to firmly build an understanding of what's going on. (read: "what the blazing tartarus hapened in the darn cave? Why does it appear that the EoH have been chasing chrysalis for two months? Why didn't Twilight ask Chrysalis this question back then?)
Of course, if the next chapter addresses the first chapter's unexplained events, then this rant is (somewhat) unnecessary. Otherwise... Well, it's your story so do what you want, but from a critique standpoint, it is just in bad form to have unaddressed timeskips so early on.
3543719 I actually had to force myself to stop writing so I could post the chapter today instead of god knows when... I'll try to make the next chapter much longer for you but no promises. :D
3543731 I've actually been debating whether or not I want to delete the first chapter and just continue on from chapter 2. I feel like chapter 1 isn't anywhere near as interesting as chapter 2, but eh, people seemed to like chapter 1 so I've kept it up there for now.
3543614 Are you positive about that?
I don't know what to say about this chapter. It feels like when just saw the final minute of a fight without being allowed to see the prior nine rounds. It also feels like there is more to Chrysalis' current situation other than Twilight's curiosity.
3543941 Yeah... I'm not sure why I had the two month time skip but eh, too late now. I can tell you right now that nothing important happened over those two months other then Chrysalis running and Twilight chasing (mostly). Whatever do you mean? I'm not sure I completely understand the second part of your review.
3543941 I forgot to tell you eariler but I went back and checked and I do have about a third of the 2nd chapter for Leave me alone will you? written, so it might not be as long as you'd think before I get off my ass and update that. :D
3543904 So the first chapter is actually no longer actually a part of this story?
...
That's a huge let down.
There have been so many "just misunderstood" and "we had to" changeling stories already, I thought this was going to be different, as that first chapter led us to believe. It had so much potential, whereas the second chapter is almost an exact copy of the beginnings of at least two other stories I've already read on the site. The whole "Chrysalis is found/ comes for aid --> she reluctantly explains the invasion was done to support a starving hive--> she stays in equestria to regain strength and learn the magic of friendship --> shipping" is already the general plot to: (at least) Queen No More, Fall of a Monarch, Even Changelings Wear Masks, and depending on interpretation Exchanging Perspectives. It's even been mixed up a bit by shipping with Cadence a bunch of times, Luna (the title of which I can't remember),Shining Armor and Cadence, and even your own Celestia.
I was hooked by the first chapter because it was not that already overdone plot.
My optimism wanes... I think the first chapter's story had a lot more potential...
3544129 I never actually said that the first chapter was no longer part of the story, I said I thought about it. You've brought up many valid points, only one problem... This was originally intended to be a Chrylight story (and still is), how else would I have made that possible if Chrysalis wasn't captured? I'm at a loss as to how else I would have done that... Oh, you went and read Transformations? Yeah, it did have overused plot elements in it didn't it?
What exactly did the first chapter lead you to believe? It might help me if I know what you see in the first chapter besides the fact that its diffrent from other stories.
3543969 What I mean by the second part is that for two months Twilight basically hunted Chrysalis down to find out why Canterlot was invaded? Also, it looks like Chrysalis is in a room instead of jail. Why? Chrysalis did almost take over Equestria after all.
3545061 Twilight is acting on her own, she never told Celestia about Chrysalis.
Edit: Twilight loves information, Chrysalis has information Twilight doesn't have... Do the math.
I truly think that this is a good story keep going
3543731 I'm making chapter 2 into an alternate story line thing just for you. The new story line will hopefully be better.
3545379 I will, I'll just be making a lot of changes to make it not have overused plot elements.
3545420
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/379407__safe_twilight%2Bsparkle_animated_meme_plot_princess%2Bcadance_a%2Bcanterlot%2Bwedding_extreme%2Bspeed%2Banimation_descriptive%2Bnoise_x%2Bintensifies.gif?1383295655
I look forward to it.
I know you're sick of the questions but, Is Twilight alone with Chrysalis or are her friends with her?
3563380 Not really. I tried to take out all the details that mentioned Twilight's friends. Yes they're alone.
3563836 If Twilight is alone, you really need to fix this line:
3564575 Thanks for telling me, it should be fixed now.
I love the revised second chapter! I can't wait to see what happens next!
3567103 YAY!
I'm in the midst of writing it now.
"Chrysalis awoke in a dark and damp room, a cave by the smell of it. She laughed; it felt good to laugh. She hadn't truly laughed since she was a child, back before their home burned to the ground. Not to say that laughing lifted her spirits, because it didn't. It did, however, make her feel slightly more comfortable, and it took her mind off the fact that she was more or less powerless at the moment."
This moment feels so random, I would have believe it, if someone told me this was AI-generated. :D