Whiskey Lullaby

by Smitty91

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Twilight turned out to quite an amazing counselor. With doctor-patient confidentiality, Rarity was able to lay out the whole story about how Spike had come to her with a love letter, how she had completely ignored him, how he had felt rejected, and finally, how she had found his dead corpse in the middle of the Golden Oak Library. Twilight had sat silently, absorbing all of the information that Rarity spilled out. Once she was done, the white mare looked absolutely terrified, probably because of how worried she was about how Twilight would react.

There was a minute or two of silence–a very long uncomfortable silence that made Rarity anxious for Twilight to say something, anything.

“I think we've stumbled onto the root of your problems, Rarity,” Twilight said. She made a note in her notepad, and she heard Rarity give an audible sigh of relief. She lowered her notepad and eyed Rarity. “You feel very guilty over Spike's death, but I don't think it was entirely your fault. Remember, you rejected him all the time and he seemed okay with it.”

Rarity glared. “Not helping, Twilight.”

Twilight chuckled. “Oh, yeah, right.” She cleared her throat. “Like I said, I don't think it was entirely your fault. Spike was already depressed long before he came to you with that love letter.”

“Really?”

Twilight nodded. “Uh-huh. There's a specific journal entry that caught my attention when I was reading it.” She lifted said journal from her saddlebag with her magic. Caught in her magic, the book was opened and several pages were flipped before she lowered the book to Rarity's eye-level. “Take a look at this.”

Silently, Rarity read.

My life is hell. Why is it nothing ever goes right for me? It seems to me that I'm just a big joke to everpony. Nothing ever goes my way. The love of my life doesn't love me. I can never catch a break. Why are the gods so hateful towards me? Is it something that I did? Did I do something wrong? I must have, otherwise my life wouldn't suck this much. I'm so confused, so depressed. What can I do to make my life better, to make Rarity notice me and finally go out with me? Well, that's it for this journal entry. Talk to you later, journal.

~Spike~

“Hmm,” Rarity said, “I guess I must have missed this journal entry when I was reading it originally. Still, my rejecting him is what led him to kill himself, wasn't it?”

Twilight shrugged. “I can't answer that question for you, Rarity, but what I can tell you is that you shouldn't let it control you. You need closure so you can move on with your life.”

Rarity smiled. “Closure. Got it.”

Both mares jumped when they heard a loud ringing erupt the silence in the room.

Twilight reached forward and pushed a button on the timer resting on the table between them. “That's all the time we have for today, I'm afraid.”

Rarity looked downcast. “But we were just starting to make progress.”

Twilight nodded. “I know, but I'll see you again next week, same time as always.”

Rarity sighed dejectedly. “All right. See you next week, Twilight.” Without another word to her counselor, she exited the room, standing in the middle of a hallway. She looked left, then right, trying to remmeber which way her room was. Which way had she turned to enter the room that served as her and Twilight's meeting place for their counseling sessions? She closed her eyes and tried to remember. Ooh, this was so frustrating! Her eyes popped open as the recollection suddenly hit her. That was it! She'd turned right to enter the room. She took a left and began to happily trotting down the hallway.

Entering her room, she climbed onto her bed and resumed reading the latest book that she was obsessed with. Seeing as how she wasn't allowed to leave the premises and she didn't have much else to do, reading was the only way to maintain her sanity. Twilight gave her free reign of her library. During their counseling sessions, she would tell Twilight which books she wanted and Twilight would deliver them to her as soon as possible, knowing that poor Rarity had to be bored out of her mind doing nothing but staying in her room all the time.

The latest book that Rarity was reading was a thrilling adventure starring Daring Do as she struggled to once again obtain possession of an ancient artifact that could destory the world before some dastardly rival got their hooves on it and do only Celestia knew what with it. She chuckled to herself, knowing that she could never bring herself to do the job of Daring Do. All that dirt and sweat wasn't for her, but her adventures certainly made for an interesting tale. At the very least, they helped her pass the time while she waited for her next counseling session with Twilight.

She had made a few friends while in rehab. Sometimes she would feel the compulsion to get out of her room and mingle among the other patients. There was a red fox named Rita Landow who, like Rarity, was an alcoholic and came from a broken home, a broken family. She was extremely hateful and angry. Once Rarity had actually sat down with her and talked to her, getting to the root of her problems, she had become a lot more kinder and sweeter as the days had gone on. When she got right
down to it, Rarity realized that the only thing that the fox really wanted was to be loved, just like another one of her friends.

As far Rarity was concerned, Rita Landow and Erik Matthews, another one of her friends, were one in the same. Both of them came from broken homes and broken families and both of them wanted pretty much the same thing: just to be loved and cared for. Rarity had devoted much of her time, when she wasn't in therapy, talking to him and her, sometimes alone and sometimes with all three of them together. At her request, the two of them had started to spend time together, and they seemed to be hitting it off rather well. So, if anything else, Rarity was at least making a difference in the lives of others.

Even so, Rarity remained a complete and utter mess, as evidenced by her sessions with Twilight, who noted that she was making progress, but still had a long way to go before she was her old self again. When she wasn't talking to her friends or talking with Twilight, she was spending her time sketching possible outfits that she would design in the future. Even though it took a long time for her to work up the motivation to get back to work, she found that working in itself was kind of like therapy for her. It provided her with a way to forget about things and just be herself. Unfortunately, with her schedule of meals and talking, she only got to do some drawing a couple of hours before heading off to bed. Despite this, it was a good way to wind down after a long day of doing nothing but talking. If nothing else, it helped get her tired.

Honestly, Rarity was surprised that she didn't mind the fact that she would be stuck at the facility for more than a few months. She didnt' care how long it took, just as long as she got better and was able to move past the tragedy that had stricken her for so long. At first she'd been reluctant to go due to her worries over what to do with Sweetie Belle, but Applejack–Celestia bless her soul–in her unwavering kindness had agreed that the little filly could stay at her house with Apple Bloom. The two fillies were elated about this plan, stating it would just like they were sisters. Though, the group agreed that they would take turns looking after Sweetie Belle. So, Sweetie Belle's safety and well-being was at least one thing that she wouldn't have to worry about during her recovery.

Due to Twilight being such a good therapist, Rarity found herself getting better far more quickly than she had anticipated. The white unicorn even recommended her to Rita and Erik, both of whom weren't happy with their therapists. The former had viciously attacked her therpaist when he had suggested that she lose some weight, while the latter wasn't comfortable talking with his therapist. In spite of the fact that she didn't know them very well, Twilight agreed to take them under her wing, with Rarity telling her to be very careful with her words as the two of them were very sensitive.

As Rarity's sessions with Twilight drew on, they became more and more personal. Twilight was bound and determined to cut through the facade that Rarity was putting on. She acted as if her alcoholism and stress was caused by Spike's passing, but Twilight knew that wasn't true. The others, nor herself, had ever turned to alcohol as a means of coping with Spike's passing, and none of them were feeling stressed due to it either. Rarity's reason for turning to alcohol and feeling stressed all the time seemed to run deeper, like Rarity was attempting, but failing miserably, was trying to conceal up the real reason. Even if she wasn't the Element of Honesy, Twilight Sparkle noted that Rarity was a terrible liar, mainly due to looking for the signs that Applejack had learned to spot when someone was lying. For example, Rarity's eyes were constantly darting about the room. She was constantly touching herself. Her breathing became heavy and she often complained about feeling hot. Had one been only listening to the two of them through the other side of the door, one would swear that the two of them were going at it like a couple of horny chihuahuas.

Finally, Twilight had decided that she'd had enough shenanigans and tackled Rarity to the floor, holding her down.

“T-Twilight, what in heaven's name are you doing?” Rarity cried. She struggled against Twilight's tight grasp on her.

“No more games, Rarity,” Twilight said sternly. “You're going to tell me the truth and you're going to tell me right now!” Her horn glowed and she lowered it to Rarity's mouth.

“Oh, please tell me you're not going to make me suck you off!”

Twilight simply rolled her eyes at this comment and ordered, “Open your mouth!” Once Rarity had complied, she shoved her horn inside until the tip of it touched Rarity's tongue. After a couple of seconds, she got off Rarity and took her seat once again. “All right. Spill.”

Rarity swallowed hard before taking a deep breath and spouting out, “I killed Spike!” She covered her mouth with both hooves, eyes wide. Had that really just come out of her mouth?!

Twilight squinted. “What are you talking about?”

“He . . . he came to my shop one day with a love letter and I completely rejected–”

“Rarity, we've been over this before. Don't you remember?”

Rarity nodded and looked down, looking downcast. “I know, but . . . I can't get over it. It still keeps me up at night. I can't sleep. I can't eat. All I can think about is Spike and that love letter of his and that I completely ignored.” She fell flat on her stomach, covwering on the floor with her hooves on her head, as if she was trying to get rid of a really bad migraine. She opened her eyes and looked up when she felt Twilight lift her head up with a hoof.

“Rarity, I can't understand what you must be going through right now, but I'll do my best to help you get through it, I promise.” She helped Rarity to her hooves. “No matter how long it takes, right?”

Rarity beamed. “Right!”

“Good. Now, the thing that you need is closure. I suggest you go to Spike's grave and say what you need to say, take a few days off, then come back here for another session.”

“Is that allowed?”

“I can give you a week-free pass so that you can go back home nad get your thoughts together.”

“Are you sure?”

“If it'll help, then yes. I'm not sure if it will help you or not, but there's no harm in trying, right?”

Rarity sighed and thought aout it for a moment or two before nodding her head in agreement. “All right, Twilight. If you think this can help, then I'm willing to do it.”

“I'll get everything set up so that you can leave. Of course it'll take a few days.”

“Not a problem, dear. I must say I've quite enjoyed myself during my stay here at the facility.”

“Good to know. While you're gone, I'll still be working with Rita and Erik. That should give me something to do while I wait for you to come back.”

“Well, I'm off. Let me know when you have everything squared away, will you?”

“Of course I will.”

“Great. Love you. See you in a few days.” And with that, she was out the door, heading back to her room as if it was just the end of any ordinary therapy session.

***

As Twilight said, it did take a while for her to get everything set up so that Rarity could return to Ponyville. By this point in her recovery, Rarity had become sober and was no longer relying on alcohol, unlike Rita. After evaluating her mental state and making it a strict rule that she not be around any kind of alcohol at any time and after ensuring that Rarity understood the rules and regulations of being out and about outside of the facility and that she would obey said rules and regulations, it was agreed that she could return to Ponyville to get her bearings for at least a week. A week alone would be more than enough time for her to get her head cleared and get her thoughts together, Twilight hoped.

Twilight went with Rarity to the train station to see her off. The two of them sat inside the station, sitting across from each other, drinking some fresh, hot coffee while they communed among themselves.

“I really did love him, you know,” Rarity said. “Not romantically, of course, but platonically.”

Twilight nodded. “He knows you did, Rarity, and he knows that you would never do anything to hurt him intentionally. He just wanted a bit more out of his relationship with you.”

“Twilight Sparkle, you know as well as I do that it would never work out. What would other ponies think? What would they say? It wouldn't look good for my public image. Not to mention the height and age difference. He was very cute, I'll give him that, but he wasn't exactly . . . mature and old enough to handle the responsibility of being in a relationship.”

“Maybe that's why he was so keen on getting together with you. Maybe he wanted to learn how to handle a relationship.”

Rarity hoffed. “If he wanted to learn the inner workings of a relationship, he could have just dated my sister or Apple Bloom.”

Twilight's face brightened at this suggestion. “They would make a cute couple, wouldn't they? Either one of them.”

Rarity smiled and nodded her head while she took another sip of her coffee.

Twilight cleared her throat. “Have you been doing any better since I last saw you?”

“I've been getting better sleep, yes, thank you for asking. You'll take good care of Erik and Rita for me, won't you?”

“Of course, Rarity. You have my word. They're in good hooves.”

“Good to know. Just wanting to make sure, that's all.”

“Are you hungry? I could go get us some honey buns or something.”

“Thank you, but, no, thanks. Those things are awfully messy and I just showered. I wouldn't want to get my coat all ruined.”

Twilight frowned. “What is it with you and apperances? I mean, are you so worried about what others will think of you that you won't even give my Spike the chance that he can be romantic?”

“Well, as I said, Twilight, it's not just that. It's also the age and maturity level.”

“He's actually very mature for his age, far more mature than your sister and her friends.”

“Hey!” She leaned forward and glared. “What are you trying to say about my sister and her friends?”

“Nothing, nothing. It's just that some of the thinsg they do to earn their cutie marks seem . . . well, rather stupid.”

“Now you're calling my sister stupid?!”

“N-No, no. It's not like that.”

“How dare you!” Before Twilight could react, Rarity had reared back her hoof and given her a powerful slap across the face. She looked behind her, hearing a train whistle, meaning that her ride was approaching. “Enjoy your coffee, Twilight Sparkle!” With a flick of her tail, she grabbed her things and headed outside to board her train home.

Comments

[Thatguywiththeface]

Well that escalated quickly