3512073 The Discord thing is probably the most glaring issue of the setting, agreed. Even if his MO wasn't so much random all the time but chaos and suffering in equal measure. My guess is he's not actually in Equestria proper anymore, i.e. he left the realm for Moose King to play with. Still, his turn to good in canon should be adressed sometime in the Fall of Equestria-verse, since it leaves too many open questions. We've reasons for the pony stallions to go along with it, so why not Discord?
3509280 One of the things that I found was that your first chapter is a bit telly. Remember: Show, don't tell. Let your readers explore the scenes you create for them. Info dumping is easy to overdo; spice things up a bit, include some more dialogue. Let Dreamy Gaze see things and think about them in his mind. It'll make everything appear more organic, more alive, plus we'll get to know the protagonist better.
You did improve that in the second chapter (published while I was writing this, hah!). Very good! Keep that up, you're on the right track!
3512248 I don't know whether the wings are broken. "Plucked or worse" is the last I heard about that.
And yes, the males are generally mind-controlled as well, but completely unaware of the fact. If plans haven't changed I even know why—the guy who came up with the explanation for the males going along is a good friend of mine. I could send you via PM if you like, since I don't know if it would a) be Spoiler and b) accurate for your Interpretation of the setting!
3512346 It's kind of a habit of mine to try and let others know what is going on early. I suppose I do tend to get weighed down with too much exposition, but I'll try to dial it back a bit in future chapters, now that everyone should have an accurate depiction of what is going on in the world.
Mostly I was trying to get those who hadn't been keeping up with the tumblr to figure out what was happening and why, instead of just plopping them into the middle of a hostile take over.
3512484 I suspected. However, don't overlook the praise of your second chapter! It really did feel like an improvement, at least to me.
Haha, I think I'll go and contact my friend. He should really check this out! I know he's still waiting for his OC to show up in a FoE pic... I guess Dreamy Gaze isn't going to meet Blueblood or Fancy Pants anytime soon, eh..? ^^
3512346 If he had a hand in making the series, then sure, go ahead and PM him about my story, I'd like to know what they have to say.
I was talking to Smudge earlier and from what I managed to get out of him, the FoE series doesn't actually have any real story line. They're just making things up as they go along, so I don't think it's really possible for any spoilers to be revealed when the whole series just kind of changes according to who wants to see what.
3513212 True, Down Votes do exist to show you dislike something, but I think they're generally used to warn the author about poor writing. I personally hate stories in which the ponies are transformed into humans, but that doesn't mean I go around instant down voting every story that contains that premise. I simply ignore them and move on.
As I said earlier, I understand that everyone has a certain line they won't cross. I for one was opposed to Vore, until I saw some of Beachfox's work, now I'm really into it. I personally despise Scat, Castration, Diapers, and Water Sports and have no plans to include them in my stories.
3513444 Not really spamming. Like I said in the author comments, those who have been commenting about the series have been providing insight into the story that I was previously unaware of, or did not take into consideration. So I'm thankful to those who pointed out possible flaws or plot holes so that I may be able to correct them in the future, as well as edit older chapters.
3513378 He was the one who came up with the rough ideas of Fluttershy willingly caring for beasts (both pony and other), Rainbow Dash publicly competing with fellow Wonderbolt Lightning Dust and Scootaloo's enthusiasm.
He also formulated the current reason most of Equestria is submitting to the new order with little resistance, namely the Crystal Heart.
In "The Crystal Empire", Celestia claimed that the Empire itself is an emotional catalyst for the rest of Equestria:
But not before he was able to put a curse upon the Empire. A curse that caused it to vanish into thin air. If the Empire is filled with hope and love, those things are reflected across all of Equestria. If hatred and fear take hold... Which is why I need your help finding a way to protect it.
During the episode we learned that the Crystal Heart is the conduit for this process. In Fall of Equestria, the Caribou got their hands on the Crystal Heart and supercharged it with feelings of sadism, depravity, cruelty, and submission. That affected the Crystal Ponies, who in turn strengthened the effect on Equestria and themselves, creating a a loop of continuous brainwashing. So in this model, both males and females are mind controlled—it's just that the stallions are at the comfortable end of the spectrum!
3512073
The Discord thing is probably the most glaring issue of the setting, agreed. Even if his MO wasn't so much random all the time but chaos and suffering in equal measure. My guess is he's not actually in Equestria proper anymore, i.e. he left the realm for Moose King to play with. Still, his turn to good in canon should be adressed sometime in the Fall of Equestria-verse, since it leaves too many open questions. We've reasons for the pony stallions to go along with it, so why not Discord?
3509280
One of the things that I found was that your first chapter is a bit telly. Remember: Show, don't tell. Let your readers explore the scenes you create for them. Info dumping is easy to overdo; spice things up a bit, include some more dialogue. Let Dreamy Gaze see things and think about them in his mind. It'll make everything appear more organic, more alive, plus we'll get to know the protagonist better.
You did improve that in the second chapter (published while I was writing this, hah!). Very good! Keep that up, you're on the right track!
3512248
I don't know whether the wings are broken. "Plucked or worse" is the last I heard about that.
And yes, the males are generally mind-controlled as well, but completely unaware of the fact. If plans haven't changed I even know why—the guy who came up with the explanation for the males going along is a good friend of mine. I could send you via PM if you like, since I don't know if it would a) be Spoiler and b) accurate for your Interpretation of the setting!
3512346 It's kind of a habit of mine to try and let others know what is going on early. I suppose I do tend to get weighed down with too much exposition, but I'll try to dial it back a bit in future chapters, now that everyone should have an accurate depiction of what is going on in the world.
Mostly I was trying to get those who hadn't been keeping up with the tumblr to figure out what was happening and why, instead of just plopping them into the middle of a hostile take over.
3512484
I suspected. However, don't overlook the praise of your second chapter! It really did feel like an improvement, at least to me.
Haha, I think I'll go and contact my friend. He should really check this out! I know he's still waiting for his OC to show up in a FoE pic... I guess Dreamy Gaze isn't going to meet Blueblood or Fancy Pants anytime soon, eh..? ^^
3512656 Nah, most likely some fellow first year students. Blue Blood is a prick... Fancy Pants is cool, though.
3512691
By "prick" you mean "prick to other guys", right? ^^
Don't be so sure there though, he might be really nice to his fellow stallions—especially now that he has nothing to fear from any of the mares!
3512346 If he had a hand in making the series, then sure, go ahead and PM him about my story, I'd like to know what they have to say.
I was talking to Smudge earlier and from what I managed to get out of him, the FoE series doesn't actually have any real story line. They're just making things up as they go along, so I don't think it's really possible for any spoilers to be revealed when the whole series just kind of changes according to who wants to see what.
3513212 True, Down Votes do exist to show you dislike something, but I think they're generally used to warn the author about poor writing. I personally hate stories in which the ponies are transformed into humans, but that doesn't mean I go around instant down voting every story that contains that premise. I simply ignore them and move on.
As I said earlier, I understand that everyone has a certain line they won't cross. I for one was opposed to Vore, until I saw some of Beachfox's work, now I'm really into it. I personally despise Scat, Castration, Diapers, and Water Sports and have no plans to include them in my stories.
3513444 Not really spamming. Like I said in the author comments, those who have been commenting about the series have been providing insight into the story that I was previously unaware of, or did not take into consideration. So I'm thankful to those who pointed out possible flaws or plot holes so that I may be able to correct them in the future, as well as edit older chapters.
3513212
And calling you out for blanket statements is perfectly legitimate on our part.
Addendum: I apologise if my tone appeared a bit snappy there, lest you believe I wished to rile you up. I don't.
3513378
He was the one who came up with the rough ideas of Fluttershy willingly caring for beasts (both pony and other), Rainbow Dash publicly competing with fellow Wonderbolt Lightning Dust and Scootaloo's enthusiasm.
He also formulated the current reason most of Equestria is submitting to the new order with little resistance, namely the Crystal Heart.
In "The Crystal Empire", Celestia claimed that the Empire itself is an emotional catalyst for the rest of Equestria:
During the episode we learned that the Crystal Heart is the conduit for this process. In Fall of Equestria, the Caribou got their hands on the Crystal Heart and supercharged it with feelings of sadism, depravity, cruelty, and submission. That affected the Crystal Ponies, who in turn strengthened the effect on Equestria and themselves, creating a a loop of continuous brainwashing.
So in this model, both males and females are mind controlled—it's just that the stallions are at the comfortable end of the spectrum!
3512346
I notice most people tend to assume that Discord knew exactly what he was doing and what the consequences from it would be.
If you have questions about the FoE canon, you can ask me here, or on Tumblr.
3515335 Hello there, Smudge just told me about you. You'll likely get questions on here, I don't have an account to ask around on Tumblr.