Epic Quest
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not bad lets see how this go's.....
3506720 Ah, glad to see I got a comment on this rather quickly.
Please don't slash up any ponies, Mr. Ripper. It's not nice!
I'm surprised it took so long for someone to take the comic strip and turn it into a fic.
Not a bad start.
3507048 Yeah, I was trying to find if anyone had done the same. Couldn't find any, so I decided "What the hay" I'll make one myself!
3509178 Meh, I understand. Everybody has a line they won't cross when it comes to fetishes. Little disappointed that you down voted it without so much as reading it (you could just as easily have ignored it), but at least you explained your dislike.
3509443 Well the wingless pegasi, I can understand the dislike for, as it seems like they've been amputated, and that's rather cruel. But Smudge commented on one of the pics that apparently the horns grow back over time in his universe, so maybe it's like finger nails or hooves, where they need to be filed down every so often.
3509538 True, Discord hasn't been depicted in the imagery yet, so it's not clear what happened to him. But maybe the caribou soldiers, combined with their massive war beasts, along with all the males in the kingdom forming an alliance was too much for the princesses to handle? The changeling queen alone was able to overpower Celestia just by feeding off the love of her guard captain.
Twilight and Cadence are both red collars, which means they willingly submitted (Spike owning Twilight, Shining Armor owning Cadence), Luna was apparently subjected to mind altering drugs and experimentation as a way to break her will, and I'm not entirely positive what happened to Celestia as she's been depicted as both a black collar (unwilling) and red collar (willing) at random throughout the art.
3509178
Yes—criticising you for downvoting without even reading is absolutely justified.
3509178
Ah white knights, where would the internet be without your judgemental attitudes and the parading of your supposedly better morality?
3509477
Them growing back is the "beauty"of it, imagine them going through the unimaginable pain they go through every week/month/whatever by the mind controlled stallions when they again cut the horns when they grow too long. (yeah the author said their mind controlled since thats the only reason the hand full of cariboo can control all of equestria, well the winged boss one, the rest are just there).
Oh and the pegasi dont get their wings amputated, they just pluck once in a while and and break them to fit into the small "cover". For both it involves not just short term pain but long term one. The Earth Ponies get raped by the plant things their forced to grow instead of food, or be trained and such. So their not good off either, he thought of sadistic fates for all.
And red means "willing" not willing, Celestia is red but they have a comic in the working about how they break her mind, the other collar colors i assume just arent broken in yet.
Im kind of torn about the story. Its all based on a giant flaw, Discord creating(by somehow giving the power to the moose OC) perfect order like that (Everyone has his role and thats it) going against everything he is.
From there then the rest is just a giant flaw that cant exist, i would have been content with a "Hes OP for the sake of it, deal with it" for the Moose OC but eh.
3512073 At first I thought they were plucked, then I realized the cover bags were actually very small and thought they might have been amputated. But plucking and breaking them sounds really
I didn't know they were mind controlled, but I suppose that makes a lot more sense than every male in the kingdom suddenly deciding "we're evil now!" and turning on their friends and family.
I asked him on E621 what each collar meant and he told me Black - Unwilling, Red - Willing, Purple - Insane.
We didn't actually have any true confirmation Discord was reformed in the last season (although judging by the preview of next season, that seems to be the case). And this was all made before the new season.
Pretty much, that's why I included Alternate Universe in one of the tags. If people don't like how it interferes with character designs, they can simply use the multi-verse theory to explain it away.
3512073
The Discord thing is probably the most glaring issue of the setting, agreed. Even if his MO wasn't so much random all the time but chaos and suffering in equal measure. My guess is he's not actually in Equestria proper anymore, i.e. he left the realm for Moose King to play with. Still, his turn to good in canon should be adressed sometime in the Fall of Equestria-verse, since it leaves too many open questions. We've reasons for the pony stallions to go along with it, so why not Discord?
3509280
One of the things that I found was that your first chapter is a bit telly. Remember: Show, don't tell. Let your readers explore the scenes you create for them. Info dumping is easy to overdo; spice things up a bit, include some more dialogue. Let Dreamy Gaze see things and think about them in his mind. It'll make everything appear more organic, more alive, plus we'll get to know the protagonist better.
You did improve that in the second chapter (published while I was writing this, hah!). Very good! Keep that up, you're on the right track!
3512248
I don't know whether the wings are broken. "Plucked or worse" is the last I heard about that.
And yes, the males are generally mind-controlled as well, but completely unaware of the fact. If plans haven't changed I even know why—the guy who came up with the explanation for the males going along is a good friend of mine. I could send you via PM if you like, since I don't know if it would a) be Spoiler and b) accurate for your Interpretation of the setting!
3512346 It's kind of a habit of mine to try and let others know what is going on early. I suppose I do tend to get weighed down with too much exposition, but I'll try to dial it back a bit in future chapters, now that everyone should have an accurate depiction of what is going on in the world.
Mostly I was trying to get those who hadn't been keeping up with the tumblr to figure out what was happening and why, instead of just plopping them into the middle of a hostile take over.
3512484
I suspected. However, don't overlook the praise of your second chapter! It really did feel like an improvement, at least to me.
Haha, I think I'll go and contact my friend. He should really check this out! I know he's still waiting for his OC to show up in a FoE pic... I guess Dreamy Gaze isn't going to meet Blueblood or Fancy Pants anytime soon, eh..? ^^
3512656 Nah, most likely some fellow first year students. Blue Blood is a prick... Fancy Pants is cool, though.
3512691
By "prick" you mean "prick to other guys", right? ^^
Don't be so sure there though, he might be really nice to his fellow stallions—especially now that he has nothing to fear from any of the mares!
3512346 If he had a hand in making the series, then sure, go ahead and PM him about my story, I'd like to know what they have to say.
I was talking to Smudge earlier and from what I managed to get out of him, the FoE series doesn't actually have any real story line. They're just making things up as they go along, so I don't think it's really possible for any spoilers to be revealed when the whole series just kind of changes according to who wants to see what.
3513212 True, Down Votes do exist to show you dislike something, but I think they're generally used to warn the author about poor writing. I personally hate stories in which the ponies are transformed into humans, but that doesn't mean I go around instant down voting every story that contains that premise. I simply ignore them and move on.
As I said earlier, I understand that everyone has a certain line they won't cross. I for one was opposed to Vore, until I saw some of Beachfox's work, now I'm really into it. I personally despise Scat, Castration, Diapers, and Water Sports and have no plans to include them in my stories.
3513444 Not really spamming. Like I said in the author comments, those who have been commenting about the series have been providing insight into the story that I was previously unaware of, or did not take into consideration. So I'm thankful to those who pointed out possible flaws or plot holes so that I may be able to correct them in the future, as well as edit older chapters.
3513212
And calling you out for blanket statements is perfectly legitimate on our part.
Addendum: I apologise if my tone appeared a bit snappy there, lest you believe I wished to rile you up. I don't.
3513378
He was the one who came up with the rough ideas of Fluttershy willingly caring for beasts (both pony and other), Rainbow Dash publicly competing with fellow Wonderbolt Lightning Dust and Scootaloo's enthusiasm.
He also formulated the current reason most of Equestria is submitting to the new order with little resistance, namely the Crystal Heart.
In "The Crystal Empire", Celestia claimed that the Empire itself is an emotional catalyst for the rest of Equestria:
During the episode we learned that the Crystal Heart is the conduit for this process. In Fall of Equestria, the Caribou got their hands on the Crystal Heart and supercharged it with feelings of sadism, depravity, cruelty, and submission. That affected the Crystal Ponies, who in turn strengthened the effect on Equestria and themselves, creating a a loop of continuous brainwashing.
So in this model, both males and females are mind controlled—it's just that the stallions are at the comfortable end of the spectrum!
3512346
I notice most people tend to assume that Discord knew exactly what he was doing and what the consequences from it would be.
If you have questions about the FoE canon, you can ask me here, or on Tumblr.
3515335 Hello there, Smudge just told me about you. You'll likely get questions on here, I don't have an account to ask around on Tumblr.
First I hope
Oh, one more thing: You currently have no character tags! You should add the OC tag at the very least!
3516482 There's an OC tag? I hadn't noticed.
3516273 First what, exactly?
3516620
I don't rightly know, I probably need to get tested, AGAIN
You have a good story in the making here and a steady update pace along with few grammatical errors. Keep it up
3520459 I try to fix those with the spell check when I post it. If it's not got a red line under it, though, I usually miss it as a typo.
3521079 It's usually just extremely small things such as a missed comma or slightly run-on sentence. Nowhere near as bad as some popular fics ironically.
I know that this kind of thing is DEFINITELY not everyone's cup of tea, but it does deserve more attention.
FIRST
3529194 If they don't like it, they can read the blatant, all capital letters warning I put in the description. If they don't like it, read it, then complained about not liking it, I ignore their stupidity.
It appears there's some tribalist thinking going around the academy, eh?^^
Addendum: at least towards the females. Interesting—what do other tribes call Pegasi and Unicorn females, I wonder...
3529425 Tribalist? I hadn't really noticed. Unless you're referring to the whole Dirt Pony thing, but Unicorns and Pegasi seem to be in fairly high regard. I simply noticed there seems to be a great deal of racial prejudice towards earth ponies in the series.
Hmm, maybe Grounded for female Pegasi?
Ooh, or Mundane for female Unicorns?.
3529564
I thought about "airheads" for the Pegasi, though that might even be a little too nice.
For the Unicorns? How about "stumps", that's pretty hurtful^^
3531336
I don't think "airheads" really works; they don't fly anymore. But I like "stumps".
3531366 I see it didn't take you guys long to work on some art featuring the new episode....
Heh, I figured Mundane was a good idea, because it means Normal, basically. Saying they are without magic, which would pretty much attack the pride of Unicorns who rely heavily upon it.
Calling them Stumps has about the same effect as walking up to someone and saying "cripple, cripple!" to their face.
These updates are always worth the wait, keep it up bro
Oh one more thing, you might want to change the fact that they are in fourth grade, could have your story taken down since it is TECHNICALLY pedophilia, but kind of backwards
just be careful
3542805
They're usually pretty lenient about that kind of stuff on this site.
3542805 Well I plan to have this story follow Dreamy's maturity throughout his powers. There will be time skips at various points to show him developing, rather than staying a 13 year old colt. Besides, there is a crap ton worse than that concern posted around the site, so I should be safe.
Also, it's 6 chapters in, and I don't feel like re-writing it all just to change that little detail.
I wonder where you'll take this.
As a dreamwalker, Dreamy Gaze is in a position where he could be very disruptive to the system, depending on whether he develops significant defenses against mental tampering. More so if, at some point, he touches the mind of a dreamwalker likely more powerful than himself: Princess Luna's. It's true that she can't perform her dream magic unassisted currently, but we also know that her potential is still there. Even if he doesn't meet her though, the realisation that his mind has been/is being tampered with could turn him against Equestria...
3550813 Well even if he did find out about such manipulations, there is still the fact that they might continue influencing him. Unless he managed to destroy the source of the corruption, which I find extremely unlikely as it would probably be under heavy guard. Also, he's just one pony.
At this point in the story, most knowledge of Luna's abilities have been forgotten, as I was informed symbols reflecting the power of females in Equestrian history were destroyed or erased. That's why Dreamy and the others haven't heard of any other dream walkers before, Luna's ability to do so was scrapped from the history books.
Besides, his father is far more disciplined in mind control techniques at this point, and he seems perfectly fine with the whole ordeal. Also, I find it hard to believe that Dreamy would go against a system that puts him near the top of the social hierarchy: Power, Fame, Sex. He has nothing to gain and everything to lose.
3553352
All true. It probably would need to start out as more of a stubborn angry reaction; plus there's also the fact that, years after it happened, still hardly anypony knows about it. Or perhaps even anyone, since we can't yet tell how many conspirators were involved in the original corruption scheme!
3554223 Well apparently Fleur De Lis was one of the traitors, so there were actual females willing to submit before the country fell into corruption. Not sure why. Maybe they thought they could earn a place of prominence when they foresaw the end of the war. Maybe they were just sluts with no shame or self respect?
Besides, most ponies are apparently named after their talents. Dreamy Gaze needs to actually be within visual sight of his target, unlike Luna who can enter dreams from anywhere. This would make reversing the mind trick over the whole country to be time consuming and immensely challenging.
3554251
Not to mention the rather unfortunate fate they've in store for any male who tries to rock the boat too hard...^^
3556768 From what I've been told, that generally involves being killed - The entire male Griffin populace, the occasional Diamond Dog kidnappers...
3557501
Actually, for ponies, it's being transformed into a red. For the non-pony races, you'd need to ask NNC; I'd be surprised though if they acted very differently with the griffons than with Equestria, i.e. conquer and brainwash. Diamond Dogs? Those are small bands of thieves and slavers, probably not worth the effort to root out all of them.
Now that I think about it, they might make great bounty hunters for escaped slaves! Sure they're not very smart, but we've seen a pack of them run circles around the Elements of Harmony...
3558923 Well I asked non_creepy_nickname and he told me that since the griffins had to be forcefully conquered, all the women were brutally enslaved and the entire male population was wiped out. The Diamond Dogs occasionally snatch mares from Equestria to serve as their own slaves. If their masters are particularly fond of a kidnapped slave, they usually go in and slaughter the dogs to retrieve them. Otherwise, if they're expendable, the dogs are allowed to keep them.