Building Blocks

by BirdyTheEarthPony

Take What I Had

Chapter Fourteen

Take What I Had

The train made its signature clicking and clacking noise as it loused over the countryside. It was lonely in the train car but I was actually glad to be alone. Nopony to ask if I was okay or to console me; rightfully so, being as I wanted neither of those things. I wanted my rage, jealousy, lust, and self-loathing to completely engulf me. I sifted through my saddlebags, finding small slips of paper here and there with names and places on them. I found one that read

“Ponyville, Stirrup Street in the hut behind the stationary store. Password is Hooks”

It wasn’t a bad idea really, I had the bits and the time; all I needed to do was hit up the stationary store before I crashed at Twilights. She should probably be asleep already and I mean heck, I’d probably only get a little.

By the time the train arrived in Ponyville it was already dark by a few hours. The streets were void of anypony else. I found the quaint stationary shop and went to the back like the paper said. A small shed stood attached to the back of the store. It looked like nothing more than an outhouse with a small cut in the door.

I walked up to the door and knocked cautiously. A bright yellow pony stuck his head out of the door.

“What is the word?”

I thought for a second then remembered that the password was “Hooks.”

The door made a click and I was lead inside. It was dank and smelled of mildew; a set of stairs led to a second story above the stationary store. I opened up a shabby door to a well lit room with absolutely no windows. A light blue unicorn quickly turned to look at me in a panic.

“Who are you, and what do you seek from the GGGRRREEAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE!?”
I laughed; this unicorn had to already be high on something. She had a cape and everything to go with it. I walked up to her, unfazed “What do you sell here even?”

She looked insulted that I wasn’t impressed by her intimidating attempt at an introduction and opened a nearby cabinet. “Well! Since I guess you are going to be DIS-respectful to the Great TRIXIE! I will only take your bits and not give any extra!”

I leaned in close to her, squinting my eyes “You can try if you must. But when I paint the floor with you, I’m taking everything!”

My heart began to race. I hadn’t been threatening yet and I was not used to doing so…but it felt good. I could see her squirm under my stern stare as her façade melted. I liked it when I went out of my way to break another pony down or hurt them. It was the same rush I got when I had beat that unicorn up at the club, and when I did drugs with Vinyl. I needed more.

“Y-yes okay well let’s see…we have just about everything.” She stammered, opening a nearby wardrobe.

“I’ll take the blue vial, and the Tranc’s. Four needles filled full. What’s that powdery stuff?” I hoofed towards a bag near the bottom filled with what looked like sugar.

She brightened up a little, “Oh that is just my ‘Trixie Dust’. I make it myself from several plants in the Everfree. Only a magnificent and powe-…… er chemist like me can blend it. Makes you forget the pain, y’know?”

I handed my other merchandise back to her, “If it works, I’ll take as much as I can carry. I need to forget…”

We stood there looking longingly at the floor for some time. I could tell this pony had suffered some hurt in her past but I wasn’t one to pry into a drug dealer’s personal business. She had noticed the same about my demeanor and moved a little closer, softening my mood.

“You know…it works best if you talk about the problems first…trust me I know.” She pulled a chair up using a weak spell that barely lifted it from the ground.

I wanted to hear her stories first. She seemed sad and forgotten; I wondered if she had even left this house in a long time. “Okay Trixie but you go first…”

She started in with her story,

“I am a performing mare, I travel…well traveled around and used my magic to entertain ponies and make them happy. Well” she drew a long breath. “One day I made my way to Ponyville and instead of the usual cheers and awes of amazement ponies were afraid of me. They called me names and even sent a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle to defeat me.” She looked down, kicking at the dust with her hoof. “It was an act; almost everypony from every town knew this but them. I told them about me defeating an Ursa. But instead of just laughing a little at the absurdity of the story, they went and got one! Not only that; but when Twilight had driven it away the town turned on me! They drove me out of town for the way I acted. They just forgot to remember it was an act. I never meant to hurt anypony, just entertain. But now; all because of Twilight Sparkle, I am selling drugs hidden away in a manure hole of a home with only my thoughts and Trixie Dust to help me forget the pain.”

She sighed, taking some of the powder in her hoof and inhaling it through her nostrils.
Her eyes went wide for a moment then a dull hue found its way into this mare’s already dull and soiled eyes. She leaned on me, her mouth slack, not saying a word. I took the cue and scooped my own hoof full and inhaled it in one breath. Everything seemed to go out of focus accompanied with a sharp pain in my nostrils.
The room seemed grey and alone. I didn’t know why I was here or what had gotten me here. I was sad but I had no idea why. It’s like my mind had been wiped of all previous knowledge. I could still move and walk and I knew the unicorn leaning on me was named Trixie. Other than that I was at a complete loss. Trixie spoke up lethargically,
“Let me just…yea…” she walked as if in trance over to a machine that looked like it played music somehow; She absent mindedly hoofed at a button, causing slow beats to fill my ears like putty. The sounds oozed around me, soothing my already calm demeanor. Whatever this stuff was, it was my favorite.

The room flashed and soon I was sitting at a desk from my past life. I looked around, the room void of anypony else. The desks were purple and the walls were curved, showing years of constant use. My old teacher walked in, an Earth Pony with a book as a cutie mark; just as I always had remembered it. Or had I? I swore that something seemed off; maybe her cutie mark was something different? I didn’t care; I was at my old high school, reliving my past experiences and I enjoyed that.

Suddenly the room came back to normal with Trixie just staring at a wall absent-mindedly. My vision had cleared and I could tell the drugs had worn off. Oh well, it had only been several minutes. Trixie looked over,

“So did you like it? The dust that is.”

I nodded, “I didn’t remember my pains, only my good past.”

“If you have anywhere to go you should probably leave, the dust has a way of stealing your time” she motioned towards a clock on the wall, “It’s been twelve hours already. The sun will probably come up soon. Also I have a shower if you need it. The dust has its way of leaving its…mark.”

I asked her where the showers were and she hoofed towards a door that I had not previously noticed; I walked in and sat looking into the nearest mirror. My pupils were the size of a pen head and I had two streams of blood leaking from my nose. My mane had since been messed beyond repair without a wash.

I took a few minutes in the shower, just letting the warm water and steam soothe my worn senses. If I wasn’t careful I was sure to fall asleep in the shower. I squeezed a dispenser of shampoo that had the face of a smiling unicorn on it; a small dollop of green gel landed in my hoof. I massaged it into my mane, taking in the scent of green apples and some unknown smell that made it sweeter more then sour.

I stared at the dispenser, a smiling unicorn with a subtle wink placed on one eye. It had no words or brands on it. Then the old me came rushing back. Trixie was still a pony just like me. She had a personality and a drive; or at some point she did. Her room was barren and dull, not characterizing anything about her. How long had she toiled all alone in this place? Eaten by depression and a nagging feeling of regret for that long can empty somepony’s souls. In a way all she had left of her past personality was this smell; just a small token of her past life to remind her of her glory days.

I turned the water down and stepped out of the steam, drying off on a nearby towel. I stepped into the room to see Trixie had not moved. She looked almost grey, devoid of any emotion. She was gone. Years of torment had placed this poor unicorn in the grinder of society; and she had lost. She had been ground to the bottom and used as fertilizer for future generations.

“I really liked the soap; it was not like anything I had smelled before.” I said this more out of pity than enjoyment. I knew that it was part of her, however small.

She seemed to notice, a small spark of life running along the rims of her eyes. “Oh that… I uh, make it myself. It’s a special blend from Everfree. Completely safe and good for the mane; I-I used it all the time until I came here. I tried to sell it for some time but ponies just laughed at me and walked on.”

I put a hoof on her, “Well I like it Trixie…And I like you. You know pain like I do…and if you’d be okay with it, I’d like to get to know you better.”

She seemed to smile, not much but I could tell she hadn’t seen affection in some time, if ever. I told her to be careful and I was on my way. I had invited her to spend the day with me but she had refused. Part of me wanted her to come just so I could continue ignoring my inner rage. I still hated Chestnut and Rainbow Dash and I still planned on enacting revenge. As much as I hated the fact that I couldn’t change completely; as seen with my display of sorrow for Trixie, I still had made my mind up about Dash. I would absolutely never fall for her again.

It was some time before I found my way to Twilights again, my mind warped and forgetful since my run with drugs. I stepped inside to Twilight helping a dark pink pony select a book,

“Okay Cherilee, this book should have the subjects you are looking for and.......Ethan?” she stepped over to me, eyeing me and sniffing my mane. “Where have you been and why do you smell…familiar?”

I thought about my answer. None of your business played on the tip of my tongue for a moment but I couldn’t be mad at Twilight or any other of my friends. “Oh, I...Uhm...Vinyl Scratch wanted me to bounce a party and you all had left already so I…Uhm I stayed longer than intended I guess.”

She eyed me, clearly seeing through my answer letting it slide none the less. “Hmm okay then… Have any plans for today? Maybe go see Rainbow Da-“

“Yes! Yes...yes yes! I want to see her, and her…friend…Chestnut! Both of them.” I couldn’t stop myself from cracking a smug smile.

Twilights eyes seemed to almost burst, catching the meaning in my use of the word friend. “Look Ethan, I think it is best that you cool down a little bit. Maybe…I mean…”

Nope, I was already gone; on the hunt for my uninformed attackers. Hell would be here with me to help them pay. I had used the last of my sorrow and remorse on Trixie; all that I had left was a smoldering, gluttonous hate.

I didn’t have to search long; I found them walking alone together on a road leading out of Ponyville. I bet Rainbow Dash was showing that bastard my favorite spot, just so they could buck on it! The nerve of them… I started to trail them; I kept close enough to see, but not to arouse suspicion.

Soon they stopped and both turned around at me, spotting me easily. I was the only pony within a shouting distance of them. I stood alone, glaring them down. Chestnut started to head towards me, Dash close behind. I went behind a nearby tree to set my saddlebags upon the ground when one of the flaps slid open slowly, revealing a small yellow vial of viscous liquid. I grabbed it in my mouth and downed it without being seen; I would need the confidence boost to take Chestnut on hoof to hoof.

I came out from behind the tree to see they had walked within 30 yards of me,
“Hey kid! We thought you had stayed in Canterlot for good! How ya been?”

I gave no response, returning his comment with only a stare.

He put a hoof on my shoulder, “Me and Dash have missed ya kid!”

“Oh?” I laughed, letting my psychotic emotions escape me. “I thought…I thought that NOOOPPOONNY would miss liiittllee ol’ me!” I threw myself at his feet, giggling like a colt. “Not a bastard colt with no mom or dad or any aspirations? I won’t go anywhere in life will I? Boo hooo! Boohoo and woe am I!" The drugs were kicking in.

Chestnut backed away from me, “Uh kid? Why the hell are you so crazy? Did you take some kind of drug or something?” he looked at Rainbow Dash, “Rainbow Dash, go get somepony to help… Now”

I rolled over to where she stood, “Oh no we don’t need help do we ’Dashie’? Big Bad Chestnut is here to save the day from a lil’ ol’ pussy bastard pony like me!” I stood, marching to Chestnut, meeting him nose to nose. “And you! Oh what a wonderful idea to make me listen to it! I commend you; you successfully turned my insides into mush and my heart into your horseshoe!”

Rainbow Dash gasped, “Y…You know? I...I was drunk! I didn’t know you could hear, and I do like you, but Chestnut said you had ditched… I’m sorry for what I said; I didn’t mean any of it!”

My joker act dropped immediately, “Oh yes your sorry to completely sent me through hell, listening to you get bucked like a Hirehorse. Oh sorry is fine…Wait… As a matter of fact, I’m all better now! Gee thanks Dashie, its okay if I call you that right!? Or do I have to be bucking you while your best friend listens for that?”

Rainbow Dash started to cry and backed away from me. Chestnut pushed me away from her, “Hey kid look, don’t be so mean. We were drunk and didn’t know you could hear us. She said she was sorry now buck up like a stallion and get over it; I am just a better stallion for Dash. She deserves a real stallion, not some drugged up halfwit bastard pony!” with that he pushed me again.

I snapped, head butting him right in the muzzle. I felt nothing, the drugs had numbed my senses completely and I felt invincible.

“What the hell kid? I can kick your flank and you know it!”

I leaned in close to him, nibbling on his neck in an intimate way. I touched my mouth to his ear “Then do it.” I pricked my teeth at his ear. He spun around and kicked me right in the neck, sending me flying. I popped back up immediately to see him charging at me. I fell to the dirt, tripping his large frame up and sending him to the grass.

I took my opportunity and leapt on top of him, head butting him repeatedly. With every strike I screamed “POW” at the top of my lungs. He deflected my forehead with his hooves and soon kicked me off, flying into the air.

“You’re on Angel Dust kid stop this! You are going to hurt yourself! Dash, go and get somepony now!”

I stampeded back towards Chestnut, meeting a hoof to the side of my chest. I stumbled sideways but did not fall. I used my sideways momentum to get behind him, tackling him to the ground. I held him there getting close to his face

“Not more than you hurt me you spiteful bastard! I looked up to you, I trusted you! You should have known this! I spent all of my time with you and you not only used me to get close to Dash, you made sure I could hear you two bucking; just to add salt on my wound!”

I let him up, pointing towards my eyes which had a yellowish tint with pupils no bigger than a pen head. “Is this what you want?! Me…dead on the inside? I already tried piece of shit, it didn’t work out like I wanted it to! But oh trust me you did a damn fine job of killing me on the inside!”

He got up, looking at me “Kid…That’s not what I want…If you’d hear me out; I never meant to sleep with Dash. I didn’t know you looked up to me so I didn’t figure you would care…but I see what I have done…I’m sorry. I…I know I can’t promise to fix this; but I’d like to if you’d allow it.”

I shook my head, my rage forming tears. “S-she was all I was looking forward too. I had you as a role model and her as a friend I loved…and you took both of them from me. I’d kill you if I could…But I can’t. “

He came closer to me, “Look…Ethan, please just calm down. This is the drugs talking kid, jus calm down.”

I sniffled, wiping my nose. “Nah, I can’t kill you and I can’t kill myself. So I’m going to let you finish what you started.” I wrapped my forelegs around his neck, trying to choke him out with all that I had left in me. I was going to force him to kill me.

I felt a swift knock at my temple, sending me dizzily to the ground…
Chestnut stood over me, “This is for the best kid…”

The last thing I saw before I passed out was his hoof striking me between the eyes.

Comments

[ZaeroZX]

1. HELL YOU E-MAN KICK HIS FLANK.
2. FINALLY A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Quote: Da Fu
-My reaction to my friend humping a wall with a slushie in his hand while wearing a shredded hat.

[-Brutus]

*prays that RD and him fix it and get together like they originally planned*

[UnintentionalMishap]

*Pray that they all break down crying, 'cause that's what I like*

[Boolyboo]

The only thought on my mind after reading the ending of the chapter is Bioshock, Andrew Ryan quote: "A man chooses, a slave obeys, KILL ME!"

[DEADpyrox]

Why is the story saying Firefly instead of Rainbow Dash in some parts during the confrontation with chestnut. I am sure it said Rainbow Dash earlier. I am really starting to question my brain and sanity because of this.

[DEADpyrox]

Okay my iPod is replacing Rainbow Dash (RD) with Firefly for some reason. I feel insane right now
This is also testing my mind and iPod.

[vaultboy124]

391143 LOL you're not crazy

[dragenfire68]

prays, let hell follow them and burn all that they know.