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It Begins...1,283 words
Reveille 1,206 words
A Short Hunt1,731 words
And the Pony You Rode Out On...1,106 words
Pinkie's Morning (part one)928 words
Hi ho, Pinkie, away! or Blockhead Unleashed879 words
Nightfall1,016 words

A Short Hunt

Catch Me If You Can

Glass shards soundlessly fell to the ground below the Ponyville library as Blockhead fell with them. The yellow man hit the ground without a noise, and the dew-covered grass stained his blue jeans. Blockhead silently stood up and shook his head, his eyes twirling around and around as he dizzied himself. Still rather early for a Saturday morning, the town too was hushed, save for the occasional chirp of a bird or two. Silence didn't belong anywhere near Blockhead, and the universe acknowledged that fact.

"He broke my bucking window without a sound!?"

Blockhead, still not making a sound, took off with a brisk pace, heading towards the center of the town. For about fifty feet, his footsteps made no sound. Finally, as though his speakers were plugged-in, Blockhead's movements and breaths finally made noises like they should, shoes crunching against the dirt path. At the same time, Blockhead's reluctant, bodiless follower found his voice once more.

"You really are a jackass, you know that?" he said. "You could have- should have- died in that field, and those nice ponies take you in -I'd also like to add that the fact that talking ponies didn't even phase me stands as a testament to the damage you have done to my sanity- and try to help you. Then, the one time you shouldn't be silent, you turn mute and break a window! Tell me, dummy, why were you so quiet?"

"Silly man, you can't make any sound in a library."

A pause. "Words cannot describe the pains I want you to suffer."

***

The front door to the library took on a purple glow for a moment before it slammed open. Twilight Sparkle's eye twitched as she, her dragon Spike, and her friend Fluttershy walked outside. They searched the area around the tree library; Fluttershy even flew up high to get a better view. Alas, though it had taken the three but a minute to race outside, they had lost the crazy yellow human.

"Spike," said Twilight, "get Owlicious up and have him take a bird's-eye view of the whole town. It's early, and most ponies are still in bed, so it shouldn't be too tough to spot Blockhead right now." Twilight's number-one assistant gave a salute and zipped upstairs to wake the owl. Twilight took a step forward and jerked her hoof back up.

"Ouch!" The unicorn felt her hoof start to bleed. Fluttershy blushed and put her hooves over her ears as her unicorn friend cursed.

When Twilight stopped cursing, Fluttershy carefully looked over her friend's hoof with concern.

"Oh, Twilight, we need to get this cut cleaned and covered before you get an infection." Fluttershy said

"You're-you're right," Twilight sighed, "We'll get this done quick, and catch up with Spike and Owlicious."

Fluttershy nodded and helped her friend back inside. The yellow pony had cared for enough injured animals to have gotten over any fear of blood, and she quickly searched for bandages, while Twilight instructed Spike on where next to search. Once her two assistants took off, she lay down on her sofa and contemplated the problem that she had just let loose into her town. Celestia, save me...*

*Celestia note: Oh, Twilight, Spike wrote to me about your troubles, but I am having troubles of my own right now. Similar troubles, I might add. Luna brought home this... thing. It's awful, and it-oh, pardon me a moment.

"Luna, get it off the couch! It's so dirty its grease'll probably never come out!"

"WE SHALL NOT LET OUR SISTER DISTURB THE WEAVIL!!!"

***

Once rivals, Twilight's assistants now worked together with ingenuity. Owlicious flew high above the town, but made sure to stay within Spike's line of sight. With Spike watching the owl, the group acted as a hunting team, Spike being the hunter and Owlicious the spotter. Owlicious spotted their prey, and pointed with his wings for Spike to see. Spike stopped and gazed in the indicated direction.

"The marketplace?" Owlicious nodded. Spike frowned. There was no way he could run all the way there before that weirdo did something crazy. He wished Twilight hadn't brought home the human in the first place. He sighed before cupping his claws around his mouth in a makeshift megaphone.

"He'll run away before I get there; fly ahead while I catch up!"

Owlicious nodded and flew off out of Spike's view. Spike put a claw to his chin in thought. What was that one thing that everypony did in horror movies? That thing that was always a bad idea, but everypony did it anyway? Spike slapped his forehead. Oh. Right. Split up.

"Well, shit."

***

Wagon wheels creaked clunked against the ground, and the air smelled of every vegetable, fruit and legume that a pony could want. The Ponyville marketplace would open soon, and this morning's bright weather promised many customers. Applejack smiled as she watched her friend Rarity hard at work painting Applejack's stall. The unicorn had insisted that a snazzy coat of paint would bring the Apple family more customers, and as Applejack sat and observed, she had to agree the stall looked more inviting with the bright red images of big mackintoshes and red deliciouses .

"Rarity, ah know we fight a lot," the orange pony said, "but yer a real good friend, helping me like this."

Rarity smiled. The fresh spring air was a delightful change from the smell of chemical dyes and thread preservatives that permeated her boutique. It was a nice bonus to helping her friend, even if her hooves did get a little messy with the paints. She turned to face Applejack

"Oh Applejack, darling, just because we get into little tiffs doesn't mean I don't love you. It's my pleasure to do what I can to assist you."

Applejack frowned and opened her mouth to say something. Rarity read Applejack's face and rolled her eyes.

"As a friend, dear," she said. "I love you as a friend."

Before the awkward moment could drag out, the two ponies noticed a tall shadow darkening the ground between them. They turned to see a strange creature, almost like an ape, smiling and staring at them. The two ponies looked at each other. Then they looked back at the creature (still smiling). They blinked.

"...Can ah help you?"

The creature spoke. "I jumped out a window, and now I'm durrrrttee." He pointed to his dust-covered face.

Rarity smiled. The fashion pony didn't know where this creature was from, but she was always happy to help with anypony's fashion needs. And this thing's face definitely needed a-

Rarity convulsed and shrieked as the creature grasped her torso. "Whatever are you doing?!"

Blockhead replied by rubbing his faced against her fur, roughly and repeatedly, before he let go and stood up with a smile. "You can hold that dirt, doggy; I don't need it anymore."

He gave a salute and jogged off. Stunned and slack-jawed, Rarity was still as a statue. Applejack sighed and put a hoof on her friend's back.

"It's okay, Rarity. Ya'll can cry."

Rarity fell to the ground and sobbed.

***

"How come you walked a quarter of a mile before you suddenly cared about dirt on your face?" A familiar voice inquired.

"We're out on the town now," said Blockhead, "I need to be looking my best to impress the ladies."

"You did notice that this place has no humans, right? There are no women here. Not that you'd ever get a date."

Blockhead froze and looked around. "You're right! Oh. My. Gosh! This whole town is run by ponies!"

"What was your first clue?"

Blockhead didn't answer. Instead, he gasped and pointed a finger into the sky. He jumped up and down and waved his arms rapidly. He yelled incoherently and stomped. A bird descended from the sky. A nocturnal bird. An owl. It landed on the ground in front of Blockhead and smiled a beaky smile of triumph. Blockhead squealed with delight.

"My little Hoot-hoot! You came to rescue me from these monsters!" Blockhead made a sweeping gesture to identify the monsters. The wide-eyed, pastel-colored, vegetarian monsters. Blockhead grimaced as a young filly waved at him with a smile. Clearly, it had given him the evil eye.

Blockhead swiped Owlicious into his arms and held the confused avian close to his chest.

"Quickly, my ally, we must find tongs with which to defend our honor!"

"Jesus Christ, don't hurt them; they're the most innocent creature's I've ever seen, and that includes those kids from the orphanage you burned down." The old man pleaded.

"They're with their parents now," Blockhead cheerfully replied.

Blockhead ran off, clutching Twilight's number-two assistant tucked under his arm, like a football. Some of the early-bird pony shoppers stopped and stared, except for a gray, cross-eyed pegasus mare, who took the moment of distraction to run off with an entire muffin stall. The stall owner looked around, and then caught sight of Derpy escaping with his entire store. I just don't know what went wrong, thought the unfortunate stallion.

***

A bell chimed as a small dragon entered Sugarcube Corner. Spike had been a few feet from the shop when Owlicious had flew ahead. He wouldn't be long, he promised to himself; he just needed some breakfast to help power his chase. Mrs. Cake greeted the dragon as he walked to the register.

"Well hello there, Spike. You look like you're having a rough morning; can I get you a coffee?"

Spike smiled and nodded yes. Twilight normally didn't like Spike having too much caffeine, but if any day warranted an artificial energy boost, this was the day. Besides, Spike needed to relax a bit after the crazy events of the morning so far.

"So, Mrs. Cake," Spike said, "how're the twins?"

"Oh, Pinkie Pie was watching them this morning, but Rainbow Dash came by and insisted she take the twins for a while to give Pinkie a break. Pinkie's actually brewing some coffee right now."

Spike smiled to know Pinkie Pie was in. She was always good for a laugh and cheering up. Just as the dragon was pondering about what silly things Pinkie might say today, he heard the door behind him open again. His eyes widened as he saw the look of confusion on Mrs. Cake's face. It could only mean-

"Quickly, I need your tongs!"

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Iambrony

Iambrony #1 · Mar 11th, 2012 · · ·

Lol.

"Silly man, you can't make any sound in a library."

I couldn't stop laughing.

Derpy Mooves

Derpy Mooves #2 · Mar 11th, 2012 · · ·

310095
That was my favorite joke from the chapter. I had to write the end of chapter two specifically to setup this joke, but it was worth it.

Brony_Fife

Brony_Fife #3 · Mar 11th, 2012 · · ·

I admit to laughing pretty hard at BlockHead's antics. Especially the whole dirty-face thing. "I don't need this dirt anymore!"

You've definitely improved a huge amount with this chapter, Mooves. Your style could still use a little work, since some of the sentences sound strange. Here's a tip: attempt saying them all out loud, narrating as though this story is going on an audiobook. (Use whatever narrator voice you like, I personally narrate with my best Ron Perlman impersonation.) If a sentence doesn't sound well being spoken out loud, that's a good indicator it needs to be changed.

Keep on writing!

Mawxter