Honestly, I must say I Liked you from the start. The way you laughed, the way you were always smiling around friends, but was scared of other things. It brought a smile to my face, to see that you were happy and tried to make others happy, and let them win arguments. Whenever we talked, you turned my frown around. You always knew how to make me smile, or lift my day. It wasn’t until the 2nd month of knowing you, that I noticed I had a crush on you. At first it was small. I liked you, but I wasn’t too into you. but such feelings grew. I didn’t say anything though, because I valued our friendship. I was scared to be shunned away. after thinking about the consequences of being rejected, did I imagine the idea of not being around you to talk or laugh. The idea was horrible and seemed like hell to me. In a way, it still does.
I remember the first time i asked someone about you, did I really decide to try and pursue you. I started off with just one friend. I asked Rarity, but she didn’t really know. But, I guess I could have asked better. you know i’m not good with my words. I may know what to say for others and how to help with certain things, but for me, I am horrible. I asked her if you were seeing somebody. She just shook her head and said you weren’t outgoing like that.
I kept on hanging out with you. I tried to notice what you liked. I noticed that you enjoyed drawing. I guess that was understandable. you like animals and kept to yourself, so you would draw wouldn’t you. I was horrible with drawing. I shown you that. So that’s when I asked if you could teach me how. ever since then, whenever we talked, it led to your favorite topic. The way you smiled and talked about it, brought a smile to my face, and made my day.
Things kept going this way for several days. And the more I was with you, the happier i’ve been. I had crushes before, but none a strong as this one. I tried thinking if it was just in my head, that I was too attracted to you. I concluded that i really did like you.
I didn’t know what to do. I began going to visit Twilight and the library everyday to read a book on romance. Not the sappy ones about kings and princesses and such. I read romance about people our age and time. how people found each other and how happy they were together. Twilight and I began to talk about these stories. I really enjoyed the conversations, and she never questioned my sudden interest.
Every time I read a story, I couldn’t help think about us. What I would do for you. How I read about the lovers in the story starred in each others eyes and were always happy in eachothers embrace. I ran across stories that described how you were. I enjoyed those ones the most.
I began to read another series by accident along the way. You enjoyed the show, and so I watched the show. I enjoyed it the most. more than you actually. Then you noticed that I liked to read and write too. You referenced a website for me to read these stories on. I was hooked by them all. I then began to write about stories like the ones I saw.
Since I stunk at drawing, I asked you if you wanted to draw pictures for me to put into the site along with my story. The more we hung out, the more I noticed that you were a bit more happier than usual.
I began to think if you liked me back. I didn’t want to ask, in chance that i was wrong. So a week later, I talked Rainbow Dash. She was surprised by my sudden confession. I pushed her more and she finally agreed to ask for me. but she wouldn’t mention my name, saying that she will ask if you if you were with anyone.
At this, I went home very happy. I never had such a great rest.
Then the next day came. It began like usual. But then we met later that day, and I was thinking about asking you then and there. i stood next to you, about to ask, when i looked up and noticed rainbow dash shaking her head mouthing ‘don’t do it’.
I made a questionable look, but i didn’t ask. the rest of our gathering went as usual and you left with the others. i looked to rainbow when we were alone. I walked up to her and asked her what was wrong. She told me that you were with someone.
The second I heard this, i felt something break. it was my heart. but i didn’t let the smile go from my face. I kept it there. She told me who you were with. I didn’t yell or hate. I smiled for you. you were perfect with her. You would be happy together.
I left and went straight to Rarity’s. I told her what i was told. The whole time i talked, I kept a straight face. She gasped and just stood there. After i finally said it, I began to feel the loss and failure. I began to feel a burning in my eyes. I tried to hold them back to no avail.
I began to cry. i felt the tears coming. I haven’t cried since before the rock farm. I never cried at a crush before, but this one hurt. it hurt worse than anything. You were with my best friend. the one I didn’t tell about my feelings for you. one I was going to tell that II finally got somepony.
Rarity tried to soothe me. but it didn’t help. her presence was at the back of my working mind. I bit on my hand to hold back the tears, but they still kept going. when they finally stopped, after a few hours of crying, my fingers were bruised and full of teeth marks.
Rarity said that she would never imagine me being so sad before. me, a person who was always active and smiling, trying to bring joy, would be so sad. I never was happy myself, but I kept it up for others, so that they never felt lonely like I did. but when I started to like you, i forgot all about my loneliness. the second i found out about you and her, I was reminded about it.
I felt pure betrayal. but why? It wasn’t like Applejack knew I liked you. I felt betrayed, but I knew there was no reason for it.
I walked home after and cried myself to sleep. Nobody, besides me, Rarity and rainbow, knew about you guys, and I kept it like that. we acted as if we didn’t know, because we weren’t supposed to know. I went on for a few months. You guys went public and everyone, including me, supported you guys. i was the most supportive. for being so proud of you guys, Rarity gave me a few worried looks, but shrugged them off.
After another month, I began to lose energy. I didn’t brush my hair after my showers. i just let it fall straight after a while. I didn’t care. I realized a sad truth then. i was always going to be lonely. You guys weren’t smiling around me much often. You guys were always sad. And it was my fault. My sadness was ruining you guys. i tried many things to make myself happy.
I went to go get help from a doctor, and I did get better after a while. so did you guys. but then i realized it was the drugs they gave me. I didn’t want to have to take meds to make myself better. so I stopped and you guys noticed. I couldn’t stand your guys depression or sadness. so I put on a fake smile again. But deep down i still feel the pain of loneliness. I write this to you now, because I can’t stand this anymore. I am done. I can’t stand being alone anymore, living a fake life. So i’m going to send this out and you will get it in a few days.
I just want to say that i am sorry i ruined everything for everyone. That I want you to be happy and everyone else. but you mostly. I have the pills in my hand now. when I finish this paper, i am going to swallow them and send this paper out. Fluttershy, i want you to know this first, because I know you will be able to tell the others and explain to them what i want and that i am no good anymore.
Sincerely,
Pinkamena Diane Pie
P.S. Goodbye.
This story... it's very good. It's the kind of story that you can look past the spelling or punctuation errors to really love what it is. I can relate to it a lot. Well done.
Sadly, so can i. the spelling errors were just over looked in my writing. i was kind of venting.
You need an editor or a proof reader. There's a group on here to help you with your spelling and grammar.
3479874
I have one. but i felt that i didn't need this touched. it explains how i feel. forget the errors. i got my mind out on this. thanks for the offer. i was basically dealing with emotions while writing this.
It's strange. I recently had the idea for a piece of fanfiction, also dealing with Pinkie Pie, about the idea of her being alone. Although, mine was going to have little happier ending.
And, by the way, bravo, my good sir. Bravo.
3480008
thanks
Trails and tribulations are what we face, still we look forward to a greater grace.
3479883
Oh thats fine! I understand i write to vent my feelings so i know and i did like it. it was sad so good job.
great story i loved
that was beautiful
gua no hay palabras que expresen lo grandioso de este trabajo
I've never read a FlutterJack before. Never actually heard of it. Now I'm all sad. But that was really beautiful. To me it sounds like a suicide letter...
What have you done, Fluttershy?!?!
3484899
I didn't start it with that intention. But writing turned to flow and the story came out. It is through experience. Some parts are true, and others aren't. This story was transitioned over from a true one.
Oh God the feeeelllss I'm crying right now man
Hmm this story seems interesting....
...
...
...
*Dislikes; then runs away*
Read it straight away and noticed the parts that seemed real and familiar, all to have my suspicious verified by your note and the comments. Nicely done and I can definitely relate.
This is literally a story about me I act exactly like this afraid to say anything and I fear this is exactly what will happen to me
3776297
This was me. But, I don't think i'm to worried about it anymore. And you know what. i'm going to create a sequel. Yup.
3776328 please do I'm excited I'll be waiting
Quick question was pinkie going to od on the pills to kill herself my friend thinks that I disagree whon is right
3479883
3784308
She planned to OD.
I got the review done! here it is!
I'm fourty-six. At the age of fifteen, a small lifetime ago, I was self-destructive and very depressed. I came close to doing myself in with pills.
I'm obviously okay now, but I can still relate to Pinkamena's crippling emotional pain. LIfe is a lot easier to deal with when you can think clearly, but she's obviously not too good with that right now.
This gets an upvote from me.
I don't need to ask my friend, I just know. I know better than most. I hope it gets better. I wrote my own just like it, so I know. Go ahead and read it if you want, you'll understand it and you might like this story
3963943 I'll take a look at it.
I do like this type of writing in stories, when it's not your traditional story, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I like it, sorry I couldn't be there to proofread it but, I realize that you were venting which is good... yeah I started out with an idea for this comment... now I don't know what to say... Look forward to more!